Storm Chaser *critic*

[Mr Ious]

The cloud thickens, the sky darkens.
Others go away, trying to find themselves a shelter.

But I don't.

The wind picks up speed, the thunder rages.
Others close their ears, trying to protect them from the deafening roar.

But I don't

As the first raindrop falls, people hide.
It is clear, the storm is coming.

Why would they hide?
Can't they see the beauty of the lightning, a thread of light slithering through the air?
Can't they hear the music of the thunder, a majestic symphony roaring in the sky?
Can't they feel the force of the wind, a fierce and powerful one, yet gentle and soft?
Can't they feel the touch of the rain, a cleansing drop, gift from the heavens above?

Let others hide, let them feel safe in their shelter,
until the wind blows it down, and the flood washes the remains.

Let them hide, let them pray for the storm to end,
only to have their houses struck by lightning, burned down to ashes.

But I, I see the storm as a majestic show.
A piece of art, nothing that a human can compare.
Let the lightning set my doubts on fire.
Let the thunder clear my thoughts.
Let the wind blow off my burdens.
Let the rain wash away my troubles.

Others fear the storm. They hide, they run.
They don't understand it.

But not I.

When others hide, I come out to feel the blowing winds.
When others run, I chase you like a maniac.

Now I am alone with you, inside you.
I feel this is where I belong, where I am supposed to be.
This is my calling, to be one with you.
I am, the storm chaser.


my first writing XD
please critic.

[FrozenMemory]

It was pretty cool. I liked it. You have a few grammar problems (In my opinion). You use commas too much. Like....

Can't they see the beauty of the lightning, a thread of light slithering through the air?
Can't they hear the music of the thunder, a majestic symphony roaring in the sky?
Can't they feel the force of the wind, a fierce and powerful one, yet gentle and soft?
Can't they feel the touch of the rain, a cleansing drop, gift from the heavens above?

Instead do this:

Can't they feel the touch of the rain, a cleansing drop; gift from the heavens above?

That is only my opinion. You don’t have to change it if you don't have to. Other than that I liked it ^^ Keep it up. You can only get better.

[Mr Ious]

well thanks!
English is not my first language and I always have a few grammar problems here and there when writing, not to mention my limited vocabulary.

So, thanks for the critic!