War and the Sea

[SkullsandSlippers]

Isla frowned and stood in the doorway. She turned slowly to face him. Her eyes looked him over. "I do nt have the energy to change tonight. Nor the desire to right now. I feel...strange right now."

She tucked the skin up under her chin. "Is it not just as cruel to have someone love you when you do not love them? Isaac called it unrequited. He said he loved me but it felt like something was missing between us. I do not think I could end up loving him."

Isla looked thoughtful. "Why do you think he loved me? He could not explain it."

[LockandKey]

“He couldn’a help loving ye, Isla,” Alysander replied, standing with the edge of the opened door in one hand. “He love ye at first sight. I can’na tell ye why. He didn’a discuss it with me.”

He felt bad for both of them. Isaac was a fool, but he meant well. He would have done his best for Isla. And Isla... the lass seemed to long for love, obsessed with the notion, but she wasn’t willing to make the sacrifices necessary for her to obtain it.

[SkullsandSlippers]

"Loved me at first sight...."

She was mystified at the idea. That one could just love another so easily. Isla looked at Alysander. He had not liked her at his first sight of her but that changed. Did love and hate work the same way?

"You said make a man fall in love with me but that Isaac loved me at first sight. You can make someone fall in love with you or they just are?"

Her head was cocked and she was staring up at him in confusion. She felt like she needed to solve this puzzle before she could leave. Perhaps that is why she felt odd, that this was not yet explained and she wanted to know fully what she had given up in order to return to the sea. Maybe it was the only way to be sure leaving was the right choice and that was what she had wanted all along. The choice to stay or to leave. A choice her mother never had.

Her stomach rumbled a little and she did her best to ignore it. If Alysander could answer this for her then she would have answers and she could find food and a place to sleep for the night.

I wish I was sleeping here, in the bed....one last time... That thought was quickly pushed aside.

[LockandKey]

"You said make a man fall in love with me but that Isaac loved me at first sight. You can make someone fall in love with you or they just are?"

Now she was splitting hairs. Alysander’s brows knit together. Hadn’t he told her he didn’t know much about love? He ground his teeth together, frustrated. Every time I cut off one head and three more grow back. “Sometimes people fall in love when they just meet, but not often. Isaac loved ye since he laid eyes on ye, or he thinks he loves ye. Rhiannon and Gareth say they loved each other before a single word was spoken. They say they just... knew somehow. But yer certainly more likely to find love if ye actively look for it. It’s like... looking for gold, for instance. Ye may stumble across it one day, never tryin’ to find it, but yer more likely t’ find it if yer going in search o’ it.”

[SkullsandSlippers]

Isla's mouth screwed up into a little knot. Her brows furrowed together. She shook her head and then let out a humourless laugh.

"I do not know why it is bothering me so much. Isaac said I was in love and I think I am just trying to figure out who he means or what he is talking about. He thought at one time I loved you but..."

She looked up at him and tried to smile.

"Thank you for trying to help me. Perhaps love is a mystery I will never understand. Maybe Isaac could have helped me to understand but I do not think I loved him."

This thought made her very sad yet she knew in her heart that it was the truth.

A long slolw inhale pulled air into her lungs as her eyes found his face. She swallowed hard. It is time to say goodbye. Isla was having a hard time working up to the words as if saying she was leaving one more time would bring an end to everything. It was how it felt however. There was no more to say, no more questions to ask.

The selkie stood there struggling to end the conversation. Part of her did not want it to end but she knew he had a life to live that did not include her and her constant questions.

Isla smiled weakly.

[LockandKey]

Had things been only a tiny bit different, maybe they could have loved one another. If Alysander hadn’t been so hardened by the life he’d been cast, or if Isla had only been human. Maybe even smaller changes would have affected their outcome. Perhaps if Wallace had not thought Isla was a spy, making Alysander distrust her. Maybe if he’d been the one to find the beautiful, lost woman that was alone and naked on the sands, maybe they would have fallen in love.

In another time and another place, it seemed as if the two were fated to be together. But in that time and that place, it was impossible. Both were too stubborn. Neither would admit the love they felt but refused to name. She, seeking answers. He, seeking commitment. The greatest thing keeping the two apart was themselves.

“I’m glad to have met ye, Isla,” he told her, and put his hand on her shoulder. “Be safe, lass.”

[SkullsandSlippers]

Isla stared up at him, eyes large and dark. His hand was on her shoulder and somehow this felt worse than everything else. The pain in her chest grew to a point where she thought she might not be able to take a breath.

She swallowed hard once again.

"Take care of Rhiannon and the children. I...."

She was going to promise to visit them but refrained. Could she really promise that? Could she really promise anything?

Isla turned her head and placed a soft kiss on his hand.

"Goodbye Alysander."

Just like that, two words and she knew. She knew she was walking away from something, something that could have been.

Isla turned and walked away.