About Gender requests and romance. (EDITED: 4/25/2010)

Mid · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mid** on Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:03 pm

Right, I feel I should make things clear since there seems to be some confusion. I apologise for this, since confusion leads to trouble.

First, you can NOT request the gender of a writer. You like to role play with boys only? Or feel only a female should play a female? Well, too bad.

If we catch a request for a gender then your post will be edited and you will be informed.

You can however request a gender for a character. We're all writers here, so work with what you have.

Romance... some of you have been "testing the line." Seeing how far you can take it. If you want to do a story based on smut, do not advertise it on the forum. Keep it strictly PMs/IMs.

Unless it somehow helps move the plot to a real story, don't. And even then you cannot go into detail. We have kids as well as parents who post here so you must be considerate.

If we feel it's a story solely for sexual purposes then it will be locked and removed until further notice.

Hope this makes things clearer. =)

3. No obscenity.
We require everyone to maintain common sensitivity. This includes;

* No racist, bigoted, or excessively vulgar or distasteful language.
* No cybering on any portion of the site, even in non-public areas.
* No explicit pornography.

Adult content is permitted on RolePlayGateway, but only under the following conditions:
1. The content is contained within a single post. A corresponding reply will immediately be considered cybering, and is not permitted.
2. The content has literary value or is otherwise a work of art:
o "Slave/Master" roleplays are strictly forbidden.
o "Yaoi", "Yuri", "Slash", etc., are all non-literary subjects and are forbidden.

That would be in violation of RPG's official rules.

http://www.roleplaygateway.com/the-official-roleplaygateway-rules-t1369.html

To add on, as people don't seem to know what cybering is exactly.

It is a play by post between two or more people. This includes kissing, groping and the likes. Cybering, or posting erotica is not allowed on this site.

korr.a · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **korr.a** on Thu Dec 04, 2008 1:13 am

No problems with mature material being kept to pms/ims.
However, I do not think it is fair to say we can't request the gender of a writer. It would be understandable to make a rule against it if people have a serious problem with it but I haven't gotten the impression, from anywhere on the site that I've seen, that anyone really does object. Simply because someone requests a specific gender does not necessarily say that they believe only boys should roleplay male characters etc.

I cannot now but I was going to ask for a guy for my next 1x1 simply because I'd like a guy's perspective for that certain rp. Why? I'm a writer and I wanted a guy's perspective when writing. Now am I discriminating against girls roleplaying as males? Of course not, how could I? I'm a girl and I am/have roleplaying/roleplayed a few male roles myself.

That said, my question is this: How it hurting anything to request the gender of a writer?

Mid · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mid** on Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:00 pm

Well this was question had been asked to the hire ups before I posted this.

Best I can tell ya is this. Most of the genders requested have been females (slave/neko RPs). This can lead give the impression of sexism, predators and lack of networking with the rest of the community.

It may not seem like a big problem to you and a few others, but one day this can be a big thing.

Personally, I think it's a good idea to deny gender requests because you can get the same prespective from both genders. It's not that hard to play either gender.

Kestrel · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Kestrel** on Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:13 pm

I think it's moreso discrimination of perfectly capable (fe)males to disallow them to play a character of a gender other than their own. Similar to saying; "I don't want you to play a white character because you're black." 90% of the serious roleplayers use a character with a personality different from their own anyway.

As for requesting a male's PoV, I do agree your case is perfectly reasonable. However, if that is allowed, people will massively ignore the rule and if someone says something about it, they'll more or less c/p your argument (which really does happen, sadly). So yes, it's an unfair rule to you. That's the problem with fora with global rules, being a minority.

What you could try is buy a book on the subject from a male author, or check every application's profile (but you didn't get that from me).

Mid · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mid** on Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:24 pm

Mhmm *agrees* Basically, take what you get. Beggars can't be choosers.

korr.a · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **korr.a** on Sat Dec 06, 2008 1:40 am

Myrin wrote:... you can get the same prespective from both genders. It's not that hard to play either gender.

I'm well aware that it's easy to play either gender but I don't agree that it is possible to get the same type of perspective from both guys and girls. This is precisely why books written by men and women differ: the perspective of the author. It's common knowledge that males and females don't always think in similar ways.

Kestrel wrote: As for requesting a male's PoV, I do agree your case is perfectly reasonable. However, if that is allowed, people will massively ignore the rule and if someone says something about it, they'll more or less c/p your argument (which really does happen, sadly). So yes, it's an unfair rule to you. That's the problem with fora with global rules, being a minority.

Thank you. This, so far, is the only thing I've experienced being a supposed "minority" in but it doesn't bother me. I understand that my being allowed could cause future problems and I did not expect to be allowed, necessarily, I just wanted to voice my opinion here.

Kestrel wrote:What you could try is buy a book on the subject from a male author, or check every application's profile (but you didn't get that from me).

Unfortunately, I have not been able to find one yet. The books I have found on the subject I need that are written by male authors are quite old, which works alright but more recent works would be more beneficial to me. lol, that's a thought but fortunately, thanks to this thread, I have been getting an idea of my own to solve this problem of mine.

Mid · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mid** on Sat Dec 06, 2008 11:54 am

Well, you can just watch movies, plsy video games to get a female view.

I've seen a few writers plsy both parts rather well.

And most of the time you get females playing females and males playing males without having to request it.

iRogue · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **iRogue** on Tue Dec 09, 2008 10:34 pm

Okay I can see why you guys are putting these rules down on gender. And I do believe that Yasashii makes a really good point.

I don't have anything against anyone, I just have a similar question. Instead of gender however, it is age. Let me get my point across.

It's not that I am discriminating younger writers, because I know we are all writers and we are playing the role of a character, regardless of our age. But sometimes characters can become close, and I don't know, it might be an uncomfortable situation for some?
What's your take on it? anyone actually.

Kestrel · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Kestrel** on Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:31 am

I know sex-phobics in their forties and 'children' who lost their virginity five years before they became legal. I think this is completely dependant on the person and someone's openness about this particular subject is just as dependant on age as writing ability is.

Besides, unless you plan on a rape scene, it takes two to go that way. If the other writer is uncomfortable with it, it most likely won't happen. And love is both experience and both mental/physical maturity-related, so I doubt that you'll ever get beyond a 'crush' with anyone aged under 16. Even between 16 and 20 it is still rare for someone to 'truly' love.

Mid · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mid** on Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:43 am

True, it does take two but I've seen a RP recently where two were about to go through with the scene. The girl; carefree. The guy; curious. You always wonder how far the other person would go. He was uncomfortable but told her whenever she was ready to stop. It got to the point where he had to end it himself because she had no issue with posting it on the boards.

Age makes no difference. Older people do it too. What do you do? Make your rules clear. Give one warning and eventually report it. Us Staff people will step in and help out.

I mean that's about all I think can be done. <<;

Not/Applicable · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Not/Applicable** on Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:12 am

I can see This is a tough Question to answer mainly because some people will abuse it and be Sexist others though... they will be responsible with the right although it is rare that you find lets say a guy that can truly play a girl or a girl that can truly play a guy in most books the other Usually gives credit like this... Ahem "And thank you to my loving and Helping wife who helped me through all the way and was patient while i wrote this book" Kind of thing so many writers actually have both Male and Female influence on the book so it is Kinda hard for me to say that Just by playing a Game or watching a Movie you can Effectively Play the other Sex in a Roleplay
Everyone has Different Views on things and this is a tough Question because although i do not mean to sound Sexist Most men and Woman Differ on Key things witch alter there Points of view on Most if not all Subjects. But the problem is I do not know about the rest of you but most of the people I know would use this to be Sexist MOST of them there are a few that would be Responsible but not many and that is the Problem that I see makes this a tough Question. Do we allow freedom but give people the chance to Abuse it or... Do we take this Freedom away and Take away the Chane of Somebody abusing this.

This is my View on the Problem I am aware that it does not actually solve the problem but I felt I should post my Thoughts on the Subject here

- middleSEX cramp · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **- middleSEX cramp** on Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:09 pm

Myrin wrote:Personally, I think it's a good idea to deny gender requests because you can get the same prespective from both genders. It's not that hard to play either gender.

*Twitches*
I know its been said before, but I must say it again. I truly cannot resist, sorry Myrin.

Now, I know that this is your own personal opinion, and my own is almost along the same lines. However, I do not think it its "not that hard to play either gender". Because, for some people, it is. Some people have given it a go, but just butcher the character because they;'re too girly, or too boyish. Everyone seems to be saying female playing male, and aren't also putting male playing female in their arguments/points. We all know that females are, in a majority, more mature then males growing up. Guys are a bit slow on the uptake, so to speak.

Now, what if an immature guy, played a female character much older then he is? Despite being in character, it would be hard to display the emotional/mental maturity in the female. Age plays a large factor in this as well, because of maturity rates etc.

Its the same with stereotypes - some people can't play a certain stereotype because they have no idea how that stereotype acts.

Anyway, moving on. What I ask, is, the next time you go to say it isn't that hard to play either gender, consider most if not all the facts, look it at from different perspectives/other peoples shoes, and then possibly change your words to allow difference so that those who cant/wont/butcher the other gender when they play it, are included.

Edit: Almost forgot, there's also the role players outlook on sexuality. For example, a guy (or girl) might be extremely against same sex relations/be homophobic etc, and may request a role player of the opposite gender because they may feel uncomfortable role playing a heterosexual pairing with someone of the same sex, even if they take into consideration its a male playing a female or vice versa

Mid · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mid** on Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:53 pm

Er... Well, I respect your opinion and didnt mean any offense. Honestly I have limited typing space and can't really post long due to the ps3 being... lame.

Anywho, the reasons WHY I don't think it is hard to play the opposite gender is because we learn from experience. I mean yeah, the role player will make mistakes by 'over playing' the role but who hasn't?

As you get older, you look back on things you've written and say, 'Holy shit! What was I thinking?!' I know I have -_-; And to say women mature faster then men is a stero-type. I know plenty of mature men and immature women who I'd love to chok--<<;; Er

But what I'm saying is you don't learn unless you try, study and/or watch.

I think the reason why the men playing females was mentioned more is because people are just... immature. I feel if a role player is trying to hard to get a female role player, then he has other things in mind. And honestly, over the summer this has happened numerous times -_-;

And honestly, most of the time when role players

Mid · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mid** on Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:01 pm

request a specific role play character, they get the same gender writer to play that character. So... I don't see the issue when everyone gets what they want. <<;;

We're trying to protect members from discrimination, perverts and well hurt/bitter feelings.

Kestrel · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Kestrel** on Tue Dec 30, 2008 6:21 am

It's dependant on the person. But most serious writers have a fair share of psychology-know-how. If a guy playing a woman makes the woman look unrealistic and alla that, deny the character because it's a poorly written character. Not because the writer is male. Likewise, if there's poor spelling/grammar in the post, don't deny the character because the writer is a ten-year-old who's most typed texts are CH4T5P34Kz0r-liek-dis-msn-conversations, deny the character because the spelling/grammar in the profile isn't up to your standards.

Of course it's harder to write a character of the other gender, making a personality different from your own already proves a difficult task if you want a decent amount of quality. Another age, another life, all the same. Hell, most characters live in different eras than the writers.

Gender, age, past life, personality, environment, IMO they fall in the same category; obstacles. People have to overcome them anyway, albeit for the sheer fact you don't want twenty identical NPC's.

EDIT: Also oh mai gawd, I don't remember the last time I was so politically correct...

RandomliHyper · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **RandomliHyper** on Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:23 pm

Are we allowed to have sexual rps as long as its over PM?

Mid · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mid** on Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:44 pm

I believe so. Just no advertising it on the public forums or playing it out in the chatroom unless of course it's your own room.

Radioactive-Hobo · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Radioactive-Hobo** on Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:04 pm

I recently posted a topic requesting someone to do a yaoi rp with me. The moderator, Vexar, gave me a warning, edited the title of my topic (which at the time was 1x1 Request [BoyxBoy]) simply removing the bit in [ ], and linked me to this thread. Having already read this, I immediately PMed the moderator, saying that I was not asking that the other roleplayer be male, but that it was meant to be a shonen ai rp.

In response I was told:
"Gender requests are still a no go my friend. While you may put Boy Boy and mean two guys role playing in character... Someone still may take it as an advertisement for an intimate type of role play. That isn't allowed whether intended or not...

If you wish to say the characters will be two guys, do so in the post. Easy enough, please do not say (BoyxBoy) That is too easily misconstrued."

It is clearly stated in this thread that I may request that the other roleplayer play a male character. After receiving this post I changed the title to clarify that I was not being sexist. The title then read: 1x1 Request [BoyxBoy (as in YAOI)] - Still Looking. (Yaoi in caps because I was starting to become a bit irritated at this point).

Also, any romance roleplay posted on these forums as the potential to become "intimate." I've seen many roleplays that have 1x1 requests that stated that the other roleplayer would be playing a man.

After I changed the title of the topic, Vexar once again changed the topic to what it is now. (1x1 Request - Still Looking - Details Inside!) Saying this in pm:

"I could care less what you role play, honestly it is no problem to me. However you having a BoyXBoy title yaoi or not is going to appeal to the wrong kind of users, like I said, whether intentional or not. It is stated in the forum not to do that.

The big problem I have with it, is you may use it in the correct content and not do anything wrong or mean anything wrong. But, some idiot, is going to come by and post a GirlXGirl or BoyXGirl and want to basically cyber... And they think that they can get away with making such a request. Having the forum littered with gender requests is not what we want. Even if it isn't pointed at the gender of the user."

This left me feeling just a tad bit insulted. The argument went from me being sexist to me attracting perverts. And I would also like to note that there is another roleplay at this time asking for Shojo or Shonen Ai in the title. This one has gone unedited. (I'm not trying to point fingers, just make a point.)

Here’s the link:
shonen-shojo-seeking-slash-1x1-t13766.html

So, I would like to get the opinion / input of another moderator.

Is it okay for me to ask for a Boy x Boy? Is it alright if I ask for this sort of roleplay?

If I were to be caught posting explicit material on the forum in public view, it would be his duty as a moderator to ban my ass. Sex is allowed in PM, but that was not what I was asking for. In the topic I stated that I was fine with either public or non-public. I just wanted to do a romance between two men. I was not requesting some sort of cyber orgy.

Here is the topic in question:
1x1-request-still-looking-details-inside-t15836.html

And I can post the entire PM (both Vexar's posts and mine) if you would like to see.

MeAgainstTheWorld · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **MeAgainstTheWorld** on Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:20 pm

I like the rule. I've seen mainly girls requesting for only guys so hopefully this stops it.

Mid · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mid** on Wed Dec 31, 2008 10:17 pm

Radioactive-Hobo; you're both right.

Vexar is right in the sense that when a person sees the title Yaoi/Yuri they automatically think, SEX! And while not all Yaoi/Yuri involve sex, this is the impression most people get.

It's perfectly okay to have a boy/boy, girl/girl, boy/girl or even a ?/? relationship rp. It's just the title suggests otherwise, I mean I know you don't mean it that way since you've already said so. But people tend to think other wise, neither of us can't help it.

So don't get angry about it, okay?

And thank you, Meagainsttheworld!

About Gender requests and romance. (EDITED: 4/25/2010)

a topic in Roleplayers Wanted, a part of the RPG forum.

About Gender requests and romance. (EDITED: 4/25/2010)

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