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Burn Victim

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Burn Victim

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Iye Khara on Fri Mar 16, 2012 2:31 am

Her hands burn my skin with electric impulses
Touches laden with pleasure-laced sorrow
Feeling her cold shivering body against mine
In the broiling heat of the sun

Seeing everything sour before anything's ripe for judgment

Some days she says she'll be gone forever
But tonight her lips are real
as a head-on collision
Does one moment of bliss merit a moment of deadly ignorance?
Those irises were screaming something at me but my eyes were blissfully deaf
Burning with the heat of cries they never heard
a singed heart they never saw

The next day they found her in the woods
And the nausea wrenched in my gut
Official cause: suicide by hanging
Reality, she was a burn victim
And I can still feel her electric impulses crawling in my heart

Not necessarily looking for critique/criticism on this one. Just wanted to put this out there.
in love, nothing is eternal but drinking your wine
there is no reason for bringing my life to you, other
than losing it.
I said, I just want to know you and then disappear.
you said, knowing me does not mean dying.

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Iye Khara
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Re: Burn Victim

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby ViceVersus on Fri Mar 16, 2012 9:34 am

I liked it a lot. Oof. The opening lines were brutal. Really great concrete language. Burns are nasty, yo. You captured that feel well.
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Re: Burn Victim

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Sugarcake101 on Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:45 pm

I can tell that you've been a poet for a while. So sophisticated, yet simple. I really like this. (: Post on!
Some say the world will end in Fire,
Some say in Ice,
From what I've tasted of desire,
I hold with those who favor Fire,
But if I had to Perish twice,
I think I know enough of Hate,
To say for Destruction Ice is also Great,
And would Suffice.
- Robert Frost. <3

Gir Loves You :3

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