Emotion

Bootsie · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Bootsie** on Wed Dec 07, 2011 10:51 pm

Commentary appreciated :)

Rather than illness seeping through the veins
The grey, pooling decay of age
Or murder to mute the breath

What if emotion
Executed our reaping
When we could no longer bear its torture

In a beggar’s pose I plead
Gift me a short life

Cleril · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Cleril** on Thu Dec 08, 2011 12:30 am

I think your poem devalues itself. With this I mean that you claim emotion is torture or at least doing something negative to us. And then to agonize this you plead for a short life. It promotes a sense of apathy towards life and the aspects of line which can be positive experiences in some long distant time. It also negates that intellect can avoid hazardous effects of emotion (and enhance them) and alter emotion into positive lights.

Of course your poem does garnish at least one positive; It made me think and that's all I wanted.

Thank you.

ViceVersus · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **ViceVersus** on Sat Dec 10, 2011 11:04 am

I really like your style. It's nice to see poetry that is more a rambling form of expression instead of hard rhymes and images so concrete I can taste the dust in the air.

I really liked the last line, "in a beggars pose I plead .. "

It's brief, it's bleak, and yeah, like Cleril says - it made me think.

-VV

Emotion

a topic in Poetry, a part of the RPG forum.

Emotion

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