Filling In The Plotholes

Zephyr · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Zephyr** on Sun May 08, 2011 8:03 pm

Private mentoring workshop for leopardspotz17.

In this session, we will attempt to solve the ever-so-perturbing problem of plot holes.

leopardspotz17 · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **leopardspotz17** on Sun May 08, 2011 8:36 pm

Brilliant! Glad to get started here. :D

Ah, plot holes... my constant bane. That and my lazy nature. Anyway, I also have a few other things I'd like to get better at:

1. Vocabulary. I find myself using the same words OVER and OVER again. I'm sure readers find it irritating, as do I. Really, I need to integrate new verbs into my usual writing. Or other ways of introducing sentences. "Suddenly" makes me want to vomit at this point.

2. Character depth. I want to give my characters a deeper aspect. I tend to fall into the same character... usually a person with mental problems, or a sarcastic punk. I hate when characters don't have a lot going for 'em. I put a lot of work into my characters, but I find myself to lack in depth. Recently, I've been getting better, as I've been making more characters. Practice makes perfect, after all.

So, there you have it. I'm fairly proficient at spelling and grammar, after suffering through several anal-retentive English teachers. ;)

...Where do we begin?

Zephyr · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Zephyr** on Mon May 09, 2011 11:00 am

I see... Well, vocabulary is probably one of the easiest problems to solve. If you're finding that your vocabulary is somewhat lacking, a great method of improving this is to utilize an online dictionary's "Word of the Day" or Random Article features. Some days you'll end up with less than usable words, but on occasion you'll stumble upon a very pragmatic word.

Alternatively, if you find that a specific word seems to be frequenting itself within your posts [or even within a singular post], open up a thesaurus and find suitable alternatives for said word.

However, if you find yourself printing out words such as "Suddenly" all too often as a sentence opener, that is a sign of slightly more than a simple vocabulary lapse, and should be solved by a different means of approach. If indeed you do find such words recurrently starting your sentences, try going through the post and narrowing it down to at most one "suddenly" sentence. With all of the others, find a different way to get their content across; I'm sure not everything that happens within them is an actual surprise. I'll give you an example post:

The obnoxious sound of a school bell pierced throughout the near-silence of the English classroom. With a yawn and a quick stretch, Ryan rose from his seat. It had been a long and boring school day, and he was really looking forward to just getting home and getting some sleep... well, some more sleep seeing as nearly all of his day had been spent in attempt of doing so. By the time he was packed and ready to leave, most of the others students had already filed out. He picked up his bags and sluggishly began his trek to the door.

Suddenly, a grouping of black things burst through the room's large windows. Ryan yelped in surprise and turned to see what had just entered his classroom, a girl behind him screaming at what she saw. His expression grew grave; now standing in his class were ten black-clad ninjas! [Cheesy, I know. BUT it gets the point across.]

*No no no! Not now! Not here!* He thought to himself, shaking his head. Suddenly, they began running towards him, each staying close to the ground. Ryan threw his bag to the side, and readied himself for the onslaught; it was either pretend to be innocent and die doing so, or protect yourself and blow your cover, and the latter sounded much more appealing to him. Suddenly, the first three ninja's began attacking, throwing a kick here, a punch there. Ryan was narrowly able to block or dodge each strike they threw at him; they were clearly an elite squad. Suddenly, their attacks ceased, and they all leaped aside, a dark gray, globe-like object flying past them and smashing heavily into Ryan's stomach. He flew backwards with the metal ball, hearing and feeling a distinct cracking within him; he was certain he had just broken a few ribs. The ball retracted itself as the boy's body smashed against the wall. He slumped down to the ground winded, but quickly regained his breath and was standing once more. One of his attackers was swinging around the long-chained flail that had just struck him with very graceful expertise, while eight of the others began brandishing their own weapons.

"Alright, then. Don't expect me to play nice then..." Ryan smirked cockily, clapping his hands together. Suddenly, a blue flash of light filled the classroom, from it appearing a very big katana. The light retraced itself to the blade, causing it to glow eerily. He struck a fighting pose, analyzing each of his attackers.

"Well? Are you ready?"

Lengthy example is lengthy, I know. BUT, as you'll notice, there are five "Suddenly Sentences" [we shall refer to them as such from now on] within it. Though as you may not have noticed, the word "suddenly" is not necessary in any of them, as is most often the case when using this word. By simply removing the word from the equation, and in some cases replacing it with a few other words, it cleans up the posts rather nicely.

The obnoxious sound of a school bell pierced throughout the near-silence of the English classroom. With a yawn and a quick stretch, Ryan rose from his seat. It had been a long and boring school day, and he was really looking forward to just getting home and getting some sleep... well, some more sleep seeing as nearly all of his day had been spent in attempt of doing so. By the time he was packed and ready to leave, most of the others students had already filed out. He picked up his bags and sluggishly began his trek to the door.

A loud crash was heard as a grouping of black things burst through the room's large windows. Ryan yelped in surprise and turned to see what had just entered his classroom, a girl behind him screaming at what she saw. His expression grew grave; now standing in his class were ten black-clad ninjas! [Cheesy, I know. BUT it gets the point across.]

*No no no! Not now! Not here!* He thought to himself, shaking his head. With intense speed, they began running towards him, each staying close to the ground. Ryan threw his bag to the side, and readied himself for the onslaught; it was either pretend to be innocent and die doing so, or protect yourself and blow your cover, and the latter sounded much more appealing to him. The first three ninja's began attacking, throwing a kick here, a punch there. Ryan was narrowly able to block or dodge each strike they threw at him; they were clearly an elite squad. Their attacks ceased, and they all leaped aside, a dark gray, globe-like object flying past them and smashing heavily into Ryan's stomach. He flew backwards with the metal ball, hearing and feeling a distinct cracking within him; he was certain he had just broken a few ribs. The ball retracted itself as the boy's body smashed against the wall. He slumped down to the ground winded, but quickly regained his breath and was standing once more. One of his attackers was swinging around the long-chained flail that had just struck him with very graceful expertise, while eight of the others began brandishing their own weapons.

"Alright, then. Don't expect me to play nice then..." Ryan smirked cockily, clapping his hands together. From his hands flashed a bright blue light, from it appearing a very big katana. The light retraced itself to the blade, causing it to glow eerily. He struck a fighting pose, analyzing each of his attackers.

"Well? Are you ready?"

With such a simple method of editing, I've eliminated the need for anything to happen "suddenly".

leopardspotz17 · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **leopardspotz17** on Mon May 09, 2011 7:42 pm

...cool! I sort of knew that stuff... I just like having that element of jarring action. I want other, BETTER words for "suddenly". I think someone should sit down and invent knew words solely for that purpose.

And the thesaurus is my best friend. I use it all the time! But the main problem is that I need NEW verbs that have different meanings. I tend to stay with generic verbs, so most of my writing revolves around similar actions. I think I might be exaggerating, however. I really jut ought to peruse the dictionary at my own leisure.

...Do you think we can just do some writing here? I don't know... Because it's always hard to tell what's wrong with yourself. Maybe if you see some of my writing, you can point out some problems! All I need is a prompt of some sort... :)

Zephyr · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Zephyr** on Tue May 10, 2011 12:39 am

Well in most cases the use of the word "Suddenly" or any of its synonyms is often an act in frivolity. The occasional use of the word is usually, but if you're finding yourself using a variation of it [such as abruptly, or forthwith] in every post, you're definitely overusing it. Instead, you can often incorporate the abruptness of an action into the post still through the character's reaction or speech as opposed to a third person examination of the event.

It's good that the thesaurus is your friend! They are quite useful indeed. However, I see [to an extent] the dilemma you are running in to. If you find yourself using "generic verbs", perhaps try delving into character a bit more when posting. If all of your characters act the same way, they become solely differentiable by name and appearance alone. Try to think exactly as they would think and, subsequently, do what they would do. If this is not the problem then I apologize, but it is the best I can think to do at this point in time.

Now, onto your suggestion. I intended for us to do so from the get-go; I guess I should have made that much clear. :p

Post an exert for me if you will of any setting, characterization, etc. and I will work with you to the best of my ability.

leopardspotz17 · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **leopardspotz17** on Tue May 10, 2011 11:37 pm

Yep, I absolutely adore the thesaurus. I would not be able to write my papers without it. :) And it's not so much about characters being the same... but I don't want to keep using the same words. For instance, I'm trying to come up with new ways to describe speech. Said, replied... they're overused. Now, I'm using other verbs more specialized to specific situations (e.g. "barked", "hissed", etc.). In actuality, I've stopped using speaking verbs for the most part, instead starting different sentences.

Example:

"All this time and you never told me. The years I've spent not knowing... How dare you keep such secrets?" Her voice cracked, betrayal ringing in her words.

But with other verbs, it takes me a while. Like movement. "Walked" and "strode" are used too often in my case. I think I need to slow down... I really want to use "ambled". But my characters are too angsty and upset with the world for ambling. ;)

As for a post... I'll have to think of something good! If my inspiration is crappy, my writing will turn out likewise. Give me tomorrow! Right now it's 12:36 am... I need some Z's!

Also, thanks for taking the time to do this with me. I really appreciate it.

Zephyr · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Zephyr** on Wed May 11, 2011 5:06 pm

Ahh, indeed. You seem to have a good grasp on how to characterize speech to portray their emotions and tones. Verbs referring to movement can do just as much as speech, though. Words such as padded, flitted, glided, stomped, shuffled, trudged, and ambled all have the potential to add characterization in themselves, even without an adverb. Most don't associate the words padded or flitted with heavy, loud movement, just as they don't think of stomping or shuffling as graceful or stealthy. These are just a few suggested descriptive synonyms for you; there are plenty more out there!

I shall await your post; I understand what you mean by an inspirational shortcoming, and so I will give you all the time you need.

And you're quite welcome; it is, after all my job.

Filling In The Plotholes

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