Post #1797515 in Our Second Selves, a roleplay on RPG

Sleep had come to her easily, despite how she was attempting to lull herself into a state of slumber. Even with her head on her arms, sitting up, Evande was out like a light in a rather short amount of time, the strain of the day, the early morning and the lack of sleep from the previous night had taken their toll on her, she was far more tired than she realized it seemed. Though Evande had been notorious for being able to sleep almost anywhere at any time in junior high school, the fact she was able to just up and fall asleep with her head on the kotatsu spoke volumes about just how exhausted the otaku really was. Normally, she was a very light sleeping, awakening to the slightest noise, jolt or anything, yet tonight was an exception, barely anything could rouse her. . . . From the outside that is. What sleep brings, the things we see in our dreams, fantasies, nightmares . . . memories, those can stir even the most sound of sleepers.

Evande dreamed, no . . . it wasn’t a dream, more like, she was recalling something she had long since forgotten, something melancholy, heartrending and tragic. It felt like she had become another person, but at the same time was still herself, everything she saw was through her eyes—it wasn’t like how Nikolas’ memories felt, where she was just watching things happen and she had no control. Everything was her experience, every detail, the sights, sounds, smells and sensations. . . . All of things she experienced were upon her own five senses.

In this remembrance of hers, she was no longer known as Evande, she was made to go by another name. The name felt as if it were a title that did not belong to her, it felt wrong, utterly foreign and ill-placed. She was called Kassia Boucher, and she lived in a world very different than the one Evande was used to. The otaku was used to tall buildings, jam-packed cities, seeing airplanes in the sky, seeing smog during the hot summer months and the night being noisy with the sounds of cars going down the nearby streets. . . . The world Kassia lived in though, was a time much more simple that the era of technology—in fact, there was nothing of what is considered to be technological marvels in the present day.

Kassia’s life was something Evande experienced through the woman’s eyes, through eyes that felt much like her own. She led a lucky life from the get go, born to a wealthy family of European merchants who immigrated to Japan, they were able to afford things most could not, she was never hungry nor was she ever wanting for anything yet . . . she was not happy. She stood out against her peers for the fact that she had a trait much in common with Evande, vivid blonde hair that was very different from the black hair the children her age had. There were times where she would wind up crying to herself quietly underneath a single, lone tree that adored a rather barren hillside in a nameless field outside of her city because of how she was treated. Much to her parent’s disappointment, Kassia was very timid, sensitive and an easily frightened girl, the jeers and the names she was called by the other children often left her in tears.

Yet, she was a kind young girl, no matter the pain she underwent, even the times she was shoved for her differences, she merely ran away crying, doing nothing to strike back. Even though she was not liked because of her differences, Kassia was always willing to be kind to others . . . going so far as to embrace a boy she narrowly knew when she found him crying after his father’s passing, his name was Nori. He had been one of the ones who had seen her as an outcast, often calling her names, tugging on her hair and pulling on her European inspired dresses because they were so weird compared to the traditional clothing he and everyone else wore. Though he was one of her tormentors, it pained her to see anyone in tears.

It was under that lone tree she cried under often herself that Kassia found Nori, hiding as he mourned his late parent. Upon hearing footsteps approaching him, Nori looked up and looked upon the girl he and his friends tortured standing before him, a look of empathy upon her face. He didn’t have time to say anything before she simply hugged him while his guard was down, Nori, confused and overwhelmed, simply found himself holding onto Kassia, crying into her shoulder without any words. After his tears had dried up, Kassia looked at him with a gentle smile, and said, “Even if you torment me, Nori, know that it doesn’t matter, you can always cry on my shoulder and I’ll never tell anyone of your tears.”

After this happened, Nori and Kassia became close friends, the boy stopped harassing her and implored the other children to do the same. Though it was of to no avail, Nori would often cheer Kassia up underneath that lone tree whenever she cried by painting his face to look like a jester’s, and balancing himself on top of a large ball that he would always fall off of on purpose to rouse a smile to her lips. . . . As the two would grow up, he would always maintain a smile on his face for her, never letting it go, never showing his own sorrows, though Kassia knew well of this. . . . She grew to love Nori while her parents arranged for her to marry the son of another wealthy European-descended.

This man knew well of Kassia’s love for Nori, and it enraged him that she would dare love a common blooded man. She was suppose to become his wife, and often he reminded her of this, leading Kassia to bear a melancholy expression upon her face, yet still, she never stopped showing her concern and adoration for her childhood friend. When the three of these people grew older, shortly before Kassia was to be married, she would always go see Nori who performed his jester-like feats for the people of the town they grew up in. These feats of his going so far as to make him part of a small little circus that came together each year at the beginning of summer to celebrate the warm months. . . . The man Kassia was suppose to married arranged to have an ‘accident’ happen while Nori was performing, one that should have proved to be fatal to the jester.

Not only would Kassia see it happen, but so would the entire town. He would fall from high in the air. Upon seeing Nori’s plummet to the ground, Kassia would be at his side in a heartbeat, gently holding the man she loved in her arms as he looked upon her with that same smile of his. Ensuring her that he was okay while he was bleeding, Kassia would wind up crying over him, rousing him into shock upon feeling her tears hit his face. She would tell him that it was okay to cry when in pain, she would be there for him like he was always there for her when they were kids. Finally, then and there, he was unable to hold back the tears and the cries as pain overwhelmed him, and much like when Kassia had first comforted Nori as children; he cried into her shoulder, before confessing his feelings to her. . . . She doing the same.

It would be soon after that Nori would succumb to his injuries, and perish, leaving Kassia heartbroken. After Nori’s death, she refused to marry and lived out her years alone, with only her memories of him to give her any solace.

Upon feeling Kassia taking in her last breath, Evande would awaken from her slumber with a start, shuddering as she took in a harsh inhale of air, as if she were breathing for the first instance after holding her breath for a time too long. Her brown eyes opened, and she felt tears forming in them as her head rested upon her still crossed arms. She did her best to make sense of what she had just seen, yet everything was disorienting, and completely confusing to her. The otaku found herself unable to think straightly, knowing that the only clear thing she felt now was the urge to cry, but it was not as if she was crying for another. It felt like she was crying for herself.

Not remembering where she was, or the circumstances of her current place of rest, Evande’s eyes shut and she suddenly found herself sobbing rather without control. It felt like her heart was broken, like she was alone again, as if she would always be alone. N-Nori. . . . she thought quietly, feeling like she knew the departed soul herself. Evande’s frame shuddered with the sorrow that travelled through her, her crying getting slightly on the noisy side, though she was not aware of this.

The otaku forgot about Nikolas being in the same room, or about the fact he had been asleep while this happened, how long she cried, and exactly why, Evande didn’t know. It was only when the urge to just full out sob had begun to wane that she began remembering everything that had happened to her, where she was and the things that occurred in the last some odd hours.

A sob still shuddering through her form now and again, the stray hiccup or shaky breath coming from her lungs, Evande’s mind sorted back through everything she had seen in her ‘dream.’ To Kassia and Nori, their tragic love. . . . P-Past life? she questioned, remaining as she was, head still resting on her arms. The pink-haired woman took in a deep breath, and shut her eyes, pressing her face a bit deeper into her arms, I suppose ‘Kassia’ was whom I was known as in a life long ago. Evande gathered, still feeling the vestiges of sorrow clinging upon her soul. A life where I was in control, and not Nikolas. . . .

Though without her glasses, Evande could still see well enough to identify people, so she opened her tired brown eyes and looked upon where her alter was, I hope that my frantic crying didn’t wake him. she thought, sighing to herself sadly.

Snippet #1797515

located in Japan, a part of Our Second Selves, one of the many universes on RPG.

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