âââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
xxxlocation: en route xxxoutfit: here
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
xxx"you can't wake up.
xxxthis is not a dream.
xxxyou're part of a machine.
xxxyou are not a human being."
x
Danielle didn't particularly want to go to this party. Firstly, it meant leaving her beloved robotics project, and she felt like she was inches away from fixing a problem that had been plaguing her for weeks now. Secondly, it was an annoying reminder that term was over. Sure, it meant a few weeks of uninterrupted peace and quiet to work on whatever the hell she wanted. But the problem was that she was also going to have to go back to visit her mother. It would be a week of having her hair criticised, her past-times criticised, questioned about why she didn't have a boyfriend yet, about why she wanted to spend all that money on going to college. And that was all assuming her mother was in a good mood and didn't go off on any racist or homophobic rants.
Just thinking about going home made Danielle's chest feel like something was curled around her lungs. She shook the thoughts from her head and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly like her therapist had showed her. She'd be fine. Her heels tapped out a constant rhythm on the pavement beneath her. Getting changed at home had allowed her a little more time at her desk. She would have stayed there and gone to Ace's directly, except she was pretty sure she was going to need more than a little alcohol in her system to deal with this party. Her therapist had told her that she didn't think meds were the right choice for her just yet, and Danielle agreed. Mostly because it allowed her to drink.
Danielle's relationship with alcohol was, like so many of her other relationships, complicated. Like tonight. She felt like she needed to get drunk to forget what was looming ahead of her. Everybody else was celebrating the fact that the exams were behind them, but the exams had been a piece of cake. Even her arts exams had been bearable thanks to her artsy friends. Danielle had discovered that she actually wasn't half-bad at dance and acting, but it was nothing in comparison to others at Buckley. And as long as she was in competition with them, she wasn't going to settle for half-bad. Danielle was up for celebrating the end of the exams, but also forgetting that she had to go home. It was the best of both worlds.
But at times, drinking made Danielle feel like she was turning into her mother. And that terrified her. Apparently Danielle was a sociable drunk, but if she had a tendency to resort to using her fists while sober, how long would it be until something set her off while drunk? And how badly would she be set off? The tightness started to return to her chest. She took another deep breath and took out her headphones, looking around. She had reached Charlotte's place without even realising. Digging her phone out of her bag, she texted Charlotte.
Just thinking about going home made Danielle's chest feel like something was curled around her lungs. She shook the thoughts from her head and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly like her therapist had showed her. She'd be fine. Her heels tapped out a constant rhythm on the pavement beneath her. Getting changed at home had allowed her a little more time at her desk. She would have stayed there and gone to Ace's directly, except she was pretty sure she was going to need more than a little alcohol in her system to deal with this party. Her therapist had told her that she didn't think meds were the right choice for her just yet, and Danielle agreed. Mostly because it allowed her to drink.
Danielle's relationship with alcohol was, like so many of her other relationships, complicated. Like tonight. She felt like she needed to get drunk to forget what was looming ahead of her. Everybody else was celebrating the fact that the exams were behind them, but the exams had been a piece of cake. Even her arts exams had been bearable thanks to her artsy friends. Danielle had discovered that she actually wasn't half-bad at dance and acting, but it was nothing in comparison to others at Buckley. And as long as she was in competition with them, she wasn't going to settle for half-bad. Danielle was up for celebrating the end of the exams, but also forgetting that she had to go home. It was the best of both worlds.
But at times, drinking made Danielle feel like she was turning into her mother. And that terrified her. Apparently Danielle was a sociable drunk, but if she had a tendency to resort to using her fists while sober, how long would it be until something set her off while drunk? And how badly would she be set off? The tightness started to return to her chest. She took another deep breath and took out her headphones, looking around. She had reached Charlotte's place without even realising. Digging her phone out of her bag, she texted Charlotte.
To: Charlotte
I'm outside, come let me in!
I'm outside, come let me in!