xxxi feel so damn worthless
xxxanother day is gone
xxxand all my faces are alibis
xxxand me, I'm half the man I wanted to be
His hands were shaking more than usual. He stretched them out and curled them into fists a few times, trying to remember the advice he'd been given. But it hadn't worked before. He knew that the only bit of advice that had really mattered was that he needed to talk to somebody about what had happened. But how could he do that? How dare he be affected by it when it was his fault at the end of the day? He hadn't been able to save them when he should have been, and now this was his punishment, a constant reminder of what had happened. He had to live with it. He had to.
The kettle flicking off brought him back to the present, and he carefully poured the boiling water into the mugs. He'd had a few close calls with hot water, but had so far managed to avoid serious injury. That was a record he was hoping to keep. Adding some sugar and a dash of milk into both mugs, he carefully carried them out to the sitting room, sure that was where he had heard Jake entering. Doing his best to keep the worst of the shaking at bay, he sat the tea down in front of Jake, before sitting down himself. It was only then that he realised, for the first time, he didn't know what to say. He hadn't ever been in a situation like this.