As soon as the cop agreed to let Soren go, he went straight back over to Erin, still feeling as though he caught in a nightmare, making everything feel surreal and warped. He hated it. He knew he had a conversation with the rest of the band, but he couldn’t remember what he said the minute it left his lips. They left, and Soren found himself just sticking to Erin. He didn’t realise he was biting his nails until he’d bitten one of them so far down that he drew blood. But eventually, they left. He hoped the cold air might help snap him out of it. But instead, it just made it a little less horrible, but no less dreamlike. The smell of cigarette smoke made him look at Erin, but not to judge. He was almost tempted to ask for one. But the one small part of his brain that still remained functional reminded him that cigarettes were bad for his voice. It was almost enough to make him laugh. Everything was going to hell, and he was worried about his voice.
”I want to get really fucking drunk,” he mumbled in response to Erin’s question about what he wanted to do. ”I want to go back to yours and drink until I can’t remember… anything,” He wanted to feel numb, but not like he did now. He wanted to feel that hazy, stupid, free type of numb that he only felt when he was insanely drunk. And he needed to be somewhere that felt like home. And Erin’s was the only place he could think of that felt anywhere close to what he needed.
The crisp night city air helped relieve some of the stress she had been feeling prior, mixed with the chemicals that she was forcing into her lungs. Funny though, walking in the fresh night air while polluting her lungs with the toxic substance she relied so heavily on. She knew she should quit, but bad habits died hard and this was one of the few things she couldn’t let go. A golden amber glow flickered from her lips as she took another inhale and then coughed as Soren began to speak. She could tell by the look on his face before he even spoke, that for even a moment he considered asking her for one of her cigarettes. A smirk formed on Erin’s face as she held the small and burning object in her fingertips, “Trust me, pretty boy. This will kill you faster than the alcohol will. Best to not get hooked on this…shit.” she said solemnly as she took one last and final drag, feeling the smoke fill her lungs and throat for a few short seconds before she exhaled once more and crushed the cigarette butt under her boot as she pressed it into the concrete below. Erin smirked slightly as he said he wanted to go back to her place and just forget everything. Drink until they could forget, and hope that this was all some sort of dream.
A small chuckle exited her lips as she looked at him, wrapping her arm around his shoulder, “Trust me, we’re gonna get super fucked up. I have all of the drinks you could want. Besides, with it being just us two, means there’s even more.” she said with a small smile. She gave one more look behind them at the apartment complex, seeing Lex and Rebecca get into one of his cars and leave. Her eyes narrowed for a moment before shaking her head, “I don’t have a good feeling about those two being alone together...But what do I know? I only make terrible choices.” she started to say before her voice softened for a moment, “But what do I know? They can do whatever the fuck they want...Even if I don’t like it..” she muttered under her breath, partially loud enough for Soren to hear, but not enough for her to really care. It was obvious enough that she always had strong feelings for her friends, Soren knew first hand. Especially after something bad happened. The two simply continued walking down those streets as time seemed to linger on forever, much longer and daunting than it had prior. Any and all positive emotions had been sucked out from them, and the only real remedy they would have was from their old and trusty friend, alcohol. And plenty of it. Finally, after some time they arrived to a large, old stone apartment complex building. Erin ushered him along as they opened the metal barred gate which closed with a metallic thud and then lock as they closed it behind them. After having to walk up the first four flights of stairs, they arrived to the floor where her apartment was, being three doors down on the right side of the complex. Erin dug through her leather jacket’s pocket for a moment as she fished for her keys, “Sorry if this isn’t what you’re used to. But with this being Brooklyn, well...It’s more...Rustic? You remember, right?” she questioned as she opened the door and waited for Soren to enter the apartment behind her, and closed the door, making sure to lock it. “After all of this time...I never left Brooklyn. With the bar being so close to my childhood home as well as being in a part of the city I was familiar with, leaving would feel wrong, for me anyway.” she said casually as they made their way down the hallway. A large spiral staircase was at the end of the hallway which would lead to the spare room as well as the bathroom to the right, and to the left would be another way of getting to her room, which she decided would be in the small loft of the apartment that overlooked the living room. It was a rather large apartment, by no means was it a flat or penthouse, but it was large enough, especially for one or more people. Erin had preferred to live in a big enough space, just in the off chance if her friends ever needed a place to stay for a while, as well as being able to afford it due to her ties with her aunt and uncle. She shook her head as she walked into the kitchen that was in the adjacent room to the right, with the living room on the left end of the apartment and hallway.
“Make yourself at home while I get everything set up. You know where everything is by now.” her voice called from within the kitchen, which too was spacious and rather rustic like the rest of the apartment. A large spacious room, with an old and cozy look due to the interior, which were old stone covering the walls with hardwood floors and small rugs of beige and light browns and grays. Erin retrieved a few glasses from the kitchen, as she held a few bottles in her arms, as well as a food bags of chips between her teeth as she shuffled from the kitchen and into the living room. Placing the cups and drinks and food on the coffee table that was next to the couch. “Before we get entirely too wasted, I’m gonna get changed out from this and get into something more comfortable. I’ll make sure to grab you something as well and you can get out of that outfit. You always were one for that extra look.” Erin said with a small smile as she left the room by the staircase in the living room and disappeared from view as she went into the loft for a few short minutes. She came back dressed in a plain black t-shirt and gray sweatpants, tossing Soren his own t-shirt and sweatpants. For him, she grabbed him one of her old band graphic t’s and black sweatpants. It was a wild guess that they would comfortably fit, but they’d be better than nothing. Erin sat down on the couch with one of her feet tucked under her body as she pulled out a small bag and some paper, placing them down on the coffee table as she prepared the drinks, “I don’t know about you, but I plan on more than just drinking. You can join me if you want, but it’s entirely up to you. No pressure to smoke, as always.” she said casually as she began to pour some of his and her favorite drinks. She knew how hammered he’d want to be, and she would make sure he got what he wanted, even if he would regret it the next day. She handed him a small shot glass, as she grabbed her own and held it in the air, “To all of our bad decisions. Both past and future ones. Also...I missed you, Sor...It’s good to see you again.” she said with a small smile as gave him a small side hug, placing her head against his for a moment before she gave him one more salute with the small glass and took their first shot of the night. The first of many for the two.
He didn’t much like the look of Lex and Becca leaving together either. But he didn’t comment on it, Erin seeing troubled enough by it. Rebecca was a big girl, he was sure she could handle herself. The walk back to Erin’s apartment was silent, neither of them feeling much like talking. He managed a smirk and a chuckle as Erin apologised for her apartment not being what he was used to. “Erin, I’m just back off tour, what I’m used to right now is a tiny ass van that we took shifts in driving. Maybe a not-so-terrible motel room if we’re really splashing out,” he remarked. It had been a while since he’d been back to her apartment. In fact, it was probably only the second time he’d been here, and most of his memories of the first time was Erin yelling at him over the pounding headache of a hangover after the last time he’d been in New York. After he’d slept with Lauren again.
Lauren.
Even just thinking about her felt like a kick to the chest. How could this be happening? How? How could it have happened, just like that?
Erin reappeared with drinks and snacks, dumping them on the small coffee table before saying something about getting changed and getting something for him to wear. He’d almost forgotten what he was wearing. He was perfectly comfortable as he was, but he still appreciated the change of clothes. Maybe then things would feel a little more real. Or at least, like it had all just been a terrible dream and things were like old times.
He stepped into the bathroom briefly to change after Erin tossed the clothes to him. The sweatpants were a little short, but the t-shirt was at least a good fit. He sat cross-legged on her couch as she poured them drinks. She could still remember what he liked, even after all this time.
He shrugged as she said she was going to smoke. “Nah, think I’m good, but thanks.” He managed a smile as she leaned against him after her toast, giving him a small hug. “It’s good to see you again. Wish it was under different circumstances, though,” he said, before clearing his throat. “To the worst decisions we can make.” He downed the shot, the burn in his throat welcome.
He lost track of time and shots and drinks. His head was a swirling, tilting mess, and he loved it. Everything seemed a little less terrible. Everything seemed a little more fun.
“I missed everybody, you know,” he slurred, swirling another drink in his glass. “You and Rebecca and Nate and Kyle and… well, not Alexander. Fuck him. But everyone else. I love you guys,” he said, half leaning, half falling on top of Erin and wrapping her in a hug.
The two of them had become an absolute mess of alcohol and drugs, well, Erin became the mess of the two as Soren simply stayed to the drinks. Her vision was somewhat blurry and her mind was a slush of thoughts, albeit they were somewhat blurring together. She decided to finally lay off of the smoking halfway through as she could feel the alcohol canceling out the high. What was the point if she couldn’t exactly enjoy it. By the time that Soren had spoken up once more, they had both done nothing but drink one after the other. Would they regret it in the morning? Yes, but was it worth as an attempt to forget the reality of their situation? In the moment, yes. And that was all that they cared about. Just escape reality for even just a moment, a moment of hoping this was all some sick joke.
Erin was alone in her own drunken thoughts when Soren spoke up once more, his words slurred together but not to the point of where she couldn’t understand him. At least not yet. She had years of practice, and was always one of the few people that could understand his drunk ramblings. She looked up at him when he began saying that he missed everyone, except for Alex. All she really could do was limply nod her head in agreement at his statement. That was until he leaned over and gave her a hug, which caused her to almost fall over and off of the couch, causing her to catch herself somehow and push themselves back up. All the while laughing. No matter how long they went without talking, Erin always had Soren’s back, and he had her’s. They had been childhood friends the longest in the group, and nothing would change that. “I missed you too, Soren. Hell, I missed everyone…” she retorted, her words slurred slightly, but she wasn’t entirely drunk as Soren, not yet anyway. “After everything happened, and everyone kind of just...left...First Kyle, then you...and then some of the others, it was...lonely. Sure I had Nate and Lauren, but like. We didn’t really talk that much until after a while. And you know the rest.” she said as she took another shot, the burn never really faded or became less intense, it was just that she had grown accustomed to it. Pouring herself and Soren another drink, clearing her throat as she handed a glass to Soren, she began talking once more. “As for everyone that left, I had some contact, like you. And even Khepri, but that’s...That’s different. But until today, I hadn’t talked to Rebecca since she left that day and well...Kyle...I still don’t know where he is or what he’s even doing. Doubt I ever will.” she said rather solemnly, giving herself a moment before she took the next shot and put the empty glass on the table, “You wanna make some super stupid decisions, Sor?” she asked as she slowly stood up, her legs wobbling for a moment as she regained her composure enough to see straight.
This was what he had missed the most about New York. Him and Erin getting stupidly drink and talking the real talk. Even if the conversation veered into the depressing, they were still at least talking. And things felt strange, felt dreamlike, but in the alcohol clouded way that felt good. So when Erin asked if he wanted to make some stupid decisions, he just grinned. “Abso-fucking-lutely,” he said, getting to his feet. He, however, did not regain his composure as well as Erin and stumbled, having to grab her to regain his balance. This was enough to make him crack up all over again. “What should we do? What’s the dumbest decision we could possibly make right now?” He asked. “Nope. Not the dumbest. Don’t let me text Pri.” He corrected himself.
”I want to get really fucking drunk,” he mumbled in response to Erin’s question about what he wanted to do. ”I want to go back to yours and drink until I can’t remember… anything,” He wanted to feel numb, but not like he did now. He wanted to feel that hazy, stupid, free type of numb that he only felt when he was insanely drunk. And he needed to be somewhere that felt like home. And Erin’s was the only place he could think of that felt anywhere close to what he needed.
The crisp night city air helped relieve some of the stress she had been feeling prior, mixed with the chemicals that she was forcing into her lungs. Funny though, walking in the fresh night air while polluting her lungs with the toxic substance she relied so heavily on. She knew she should quit, but bad habits died hard and this was one of the few things she couldn’t let go. A golden amber glow flickered from her lips as she took another inhale and then coughed as Soren began to speak. She could tell by the look on his face before he even spoke, that for even a moment he considered asking her for one of her cigarettes. A smirk formed on Erin’s face as she held the small and burning object in her fingertips, “Trust me, pretty boy. This will kill you faster than the alcohol will. Best to not get hooked on this…shit.” she said solemnly as she took one last and final drag, feeling the smoke fill her lungs and throat for a few short seconds before she exhaled once more and crushed the cigarette butt under her boot as she pressed it into the concrete below. Erin smirked slightly as he said he wanted to go back to her place and just forget everything. Drink until they could forget, and hope that this was all some sort of dream.
A small chuckle exited her lips as she looked at him, wrapping her arm around his shoulder, “Trust me, we’re gonna get super fucked up. I have all of the drinks you could want. Besides, with it being just us two, means there’s even more.” she said with a small smile. She gave one more look behind them at the apartment complex, seeing Lex and Rebecca get into one of his cars and leave. Her eyes narrowed for a moment before shaking her head, “I don’t have a good feeling about those two being alone together...But what do I know? I only make terrible choices.” she started to say before her voice softened for a moment, “But what do I know? They can do whatever the fuck they want...Even if I don’t like it..” she muttered under her breath, partially loud enough for Soren to hear, but not enough for her to really care. It was obvious enough that she always had strong feelings for her friends, Soren knew first hand. Especially after something bad happened. The two simply continued walking down those streets as time seemed to linger on forever, much longer and daunting than it had prior. Any and all positive emotions had been sucked out from them, and the only real remedy they would have was from their old and trusty friend, alcohol. And plenty of it. Finally, after some time they arrived to a large, old stone apartment complex building. Erin ushered him along as they opened the metal barred gate which closed with a metallic thud and then lock as they closed it behind them. After having to walk up the first four flights of stairs, they arrived to the floor where her apartment was, being three doors down on the right side of the complex. Erin dug through her leather jacket’s pocket for a moment as she fished for her keys, “Sorry if this isn’t what you’re used to. But with this being Brooklyn, well...It’s more...Rustic? You remember, right?” she questioned as she opened the door and waited for Soren to enter the apartment behind her, and closed the door, making sure to lock it. “After all of this time...I never left Brooklyn. With the bar being so close to my childhood home as well as being in a part of the city I was familiar with, leaving would feel wrong, for me anyway.” she said casually as they made their way down the hallway. A large spiral staircase was at the end of the hallway which would lead to the spare room as well as the bathroom to the right, and to the left would be another way of getting to her room, which she decided would be in the small loft of the apartment that overlooked the living room. It was a rather large apartment, by no means was it a flat or penthouse, but it was large enough, especially for one or more people. Erin had preferred to live in a big enough space, just in the off chance if her friends ever needed a place to stay for a while, as well as being able to afford it due to her ties with her aunt and uncle. She shook her head as she walked into the kitchen that was in the adjacent room to the right, with the living room on the left end of the apartment and hallway.
“Make yourself at home while I get everything set up. You know where everything is by now.” her voice called from within the kitchen, which too was spacious and rather rustic like the rest of the apartment. A large spacious room, with an old and cozy look due to the interior, which were old stone covering the walls with hardwood floors and small rugs of beige and light browns and grays. Erin retrieved a few glasses from the kitchen, as she held a few bottles in her arms, as well as a food bags of chips between her teeth as she shuffled from the kitchen and into the living room. Placing the cups and drinks and food on the coffee table that was next to the couch. “Before we get entirely too wasted, I’m gonna get changed out from this and get into something more comfortable. I’ll make sure to grab you something as well and you can get out of that outfit. You always were one for that extra look.” Erin said with a small smile as she left the room by the staircase in the living room and disappeared from view as she went into the loft for a few short minutes. She came back dressed in a plain black t-shirt and gray sweatpants, tossing Soren his own t-shirt and sweatpants. For him, she grabbed him one of her old band graphic t’s and black sweatpants. It was a wild guess that they would comfortably fit, but they’d be better than nothing. Erin sat down on the couch with one of her feet tucked under her body as she pulled out a small bag and some paper, placing them down on the coffee table as she prepared the drinks, “I don’t know about you, but I plan on more than just drinking. You can join me if you want, but it’s entirely up to you. No pressure to smoke, as always.” she said casually as she began to pour some of his and her favorite drinks. She knew how hammered he’d want to be, and she would make sure he got what he wanted, even if he would regret it the next day. She handed him a small shot glass, as she grabbed her own and held it in the air, “To all of our bad decisions. Both past and future ones. Also...I missed you, Sor...It’s good to see you again.” she said with a small smile as gave him a small side hug, placing her head against his for a moment before she gave him one more salute with the small glass and took their first shot of the night. The first of many for the two.
He didn’t much like the look of Lex and Becca leaving together either. But he didn’t comment on it, Erin seeing troubled enough by it. Rebecca was a big girl, he was sure she could handle herself. The walk back to Erin’s apartment was silent, neither of them feeling much like talking. He managed a smirk and a chuckle as Erin apologised for her apartment not being what he was used to. “Erin, I’m just back off tour, what I’m used to right now is a tiny ass van that we took shifts in driving. Maybe a not-so-terrible motel room if we’re really splashing out,” he remarked. It had been a while since he’d been back to her apartment. In fact, it was probably only the second time he’d been here, and most of his memories of the first time was Erin yelling at him over the pounding headache of a hangover after the last time he’d been in New York. After he’d slept with Lauren again.
Lauren.
Even just thinking about her felt like a kick to the chest. How could this be happening? How? How could it have happened, just like that?
Erin reappeared with drinks and snacks, dumping them on the small coffee table before saying something about getting changed and getting something for him to wear. He’d almost forgotten what he was wearing. He was perfectly comfortable as he was, but he still appreciated the change of clothes. Maybe then things would feel a little more real. Or at least, like it had all just been a terrible dream and things were like old times.
He stepped into the bathroom briefly to change after Erin tossed the clothes to him. The sweatpants were a little short, but the t-shirt was at least a good fit. He sat cross-legged on her couch as she poured them drinks. She could still remember what he liked, even after all this time.
He shrugged as she said she was going to smoke. “Nah, think I’m good, but thanks.” He managed a smile as she leaned against him after her toast, giving him a small hug. “It’s good to see you again. Wish it was under different circumstances, though,” he said, before clearing his throat. “To the worst decisions we can make.” He downed the shot, the burn in his throat welcome.
He lost track of time and shots and drinks. His head was a swirling, tilting mess, and he loved it. Everything seemed a little less terrible. Everything seemed a little more fun.
“I missed everybody, you know,” he slurred, swirling another drink in his glass. “You and Rebecca and Nate and Kyle and… well, not Alexander. Fuck him. But everyone else. I love you guys,” he said, half leaning, half falling on top of Erin and wrapping her in a hug.
The two of them had become an absolute mess of alcohol and drugs, well, Erin became the mess of the two as Soren simply stayed to the drinks. Her vision was somewhat blurry and her mind was a slush of thoughts, albeit they were somewhat blurring together. She decided to finally lay off of the smoking halfway through as she could feel the alcohol canceling out the high. What was the point if she couldn’t exactly enjoy it. By the time that Soren had spoken up once more, they had both done nothing but drink one after the other. Would they regret it in the morning? Yes, but was it worth as an attempt to forget the reality of their situation? In the moment, yes. And that was all that they cared about. Just escape reality for even just a moment, a moment of hoping this was all some sick joke.
Erin was alone in her own drunken thoughts when Soren spoke up once more, his words slurred together but not to the point of where she couldn’t understand him. At least not yet. She had years of practice, and was always one of the few people that could understand his drunk ramblings. She looked up at him when he began saying that he missed everyone, except for Alex. All she really could do was limply nod her head in agreement at his statement. That was until he leaned over and gave her a hug, which caused her to almost fall over and off of the couch, causing her to catch herself somehow and push themselves back up. All the while laughing. No matter how long they went without talking, Erin always had Soren’s back, and he had her’s. They had been childhood friends the longest in the group, and nothing would change that. “I missed you too, Soren. Hell, I missed everyone…” she retorted, her words slurred slightly, but she wasn’t entirely drunk as Soren, not yet anyway. “After everything happened, and everyone kind of just...left...First Kyle, then you...and then some of the others, it was...lonely. Sure I had Nate and Lauren, but like. We didn’t really talk that much until after a while. And you know the rest.” she said as she took another shot, the burn never really faded or became less intense, it was just that she had grown accustomed to it. Pouring herself and Soren another drink, clearing her throat as she handed a glass to Soren, she began talking once more. “As for everyone that left, I had some contact, like you. And even Khepri, but that’s...That’s different. But until today, I hadn’t talked to Rebecca since she left that day and well...Kyle...I still don’t know where he is or what he’s even doing. Doubt I ever will.” she said rather solemnly, giving herself a moment before she took the next shot and put the empty glass on the table, “You wanna make some super stupid decisions, Sor?” she asked as she slowly stood up, her legs wobbling for a moment as she regained her composure enough to see straight.
This was what he had missed the most about New York. Him and Erin getting stupidly drink and talking the real talk. Even if the conversation veered into the depressing, they were still at least talking. And things felt strange, felt dreamlike, but in the alcohol clouded way that felt good. So when Erin asked if he wanted to make some stupid decisions, he just grinned. “Abso-fucking-lutely,” he said, getting to his feet. He, however, did not regain his composure as well as Erin and stumbled, having to grab her to regain his balance. This was enough to make him crack up all over again. “What should we do? What’s the dumbest decision we could possibly make right now?” He asked. “Nope. Not the dumbest. Don’t let me text Pri.” He corrected himself.