phoenix woods
i know the world's a broken bonexxx outfit | #c4a7be xxx but melt your headaches, call it home
i know the world's a broken bonexxx outfit | #c4a7be xxx but melt your headaches, call it home
Phoenix hadnât known what to expect from this. The way his day was going, he hadnât been expecting anything all that good. It took a few minutes to try and process what Neden was actually saying. It was only when they rolled up their sleeve to show the tattoo that everything fell into place, and it felt like the floor was about to go from under Phoenix. Heâd seen that tattoo once before. The night in the graveyard, on the neck of the hunter that had attacked him. The memory made him feel sick, and he was shocked when he stood up and discovered his legs could still hold him. He didnât say anything. He couldnât say anything. He managed to make it to the kitchen, where his legs finally crumpled and he almost fell onto one of the stools he had by the counter.
This couldnât be happening. This had to be some horrific dream, a nightmare that he could wake up from, no matter how vivid it felt now. But he could feel the sting of nails embedded in his palm as he clenched his hands into fists. The scar on his side, on his shoulder, they seemed to be burning with the memory. He knew that Neden had said it had been years ago, knew how sorry they had seemed, but he couldnât shake the fact that they had been one of them, that at some point they had hated people like them enough to kill them. It was starting to feel like everything he had, every good relationship was falling apart, and it was all so far beyond his control and he couldnât change a goddamn thing. He wanted to cry, wanted to scream, wanted to yell, but his body wouldnât move, wouldnât react. He was frozen in his hunched position, just wanting to try and shield himself from anything else that could happen, anything else that could go wrong.
He didnât know how long heâd been there before he heard a soft, familiar voice. It wasnât the one he wanted to hear, though. âPhoenix, you need to go home. I can handle things here for you if you want,â Rosie said. âBut you canât work like this.â
âNo, I can⊠Iâll be fine, just give me a few minutes.â
âPhoenix, youâve been here for half an hour already. Go home. Iâll look after things here. You okay going home by yourself?â
âI- yeah. Call me if anything goes wrong or if- if you need to check anything or-â
âI will, alright? Just go home, if I see Alex, Iâll tell him youâve gone home, you werenât feeling well.â
The mention of Alex made Phoenixâs stomach tighten. But he shakily got to his feet, feeling the tension in his muscles from sitting in one position for so long. He left out the back door and made his way back to the apartment. He just kicked off his shoes and lay on the bed, staring into space. He had no idea how he was supposed to process any of this, how he was supposed to deal with it. His phone buzzed and it felt like it took all of his energy just to roll over and look at his phone. His stomach twisted again as he saw Alexâs name pop up on the phone. He was staying with Jaiden for the night.
Phoenix had ruined everything again.
At some point, he managed to drag himself up and get something to eat. It tasted like nothing, felt like it was just a routine, just something his body demanded he do even if he didnât want to. He fell asleep shortly after going back to bed, still in his clothes, just wrapped in a blanket. It wasnât a restful sleep. It was nightmare after nightmare after nightmare. He was in another attack, running to try and get to Rosie, to Zoe, to Jaiden, to Alex, and every time, he was too late. Alex turning into a demon. Everything, everyone Phoenix touched turning to sand. He kept waking up and kept falling asleep, could never stay awake no matter how bad the nightmare was.
He only woke up properly when he heard the door to the apartment shut. He went to check the time on his phone, but realised heâd forgotten to plug it in the night before and it had died.
The silence at first was heavy. Phoenix had no idea where to start. Iâm sorry. I missed you even though it was only for a night. Iâm so scared and I donât know what to do. I should have trusted you. I didnât sleep as well without you, He started with telling him about Neden.
Over the next few weeks, things started to get back to normal. They talked about it after Alex had forced Phoenix to shower, change his clothes and have coffee, and Phoenix had made breakfast for them both. But Phoenix wasnât able to let it go. He still found himself getting stuck on how easy it had been for him to give into believing Alex was cheating on him, how easy heâd given in to his own insecurity. Even that morning, when Alex had disappeared for a few hours, the possibility had crossed his mind, if only for a second before heâd denied it. They hadnât talked about that morning, but it still weighed on Phoenixâs mind. There was something⊠different now, something unspoken, and Phoenix didnât want to ask. Because now it was Phoenix who kept waking up in the middle of the night, haunted by nightmares. Theyâd been there before, theyâd been there since the first attack, worse since the second. But now it seemed like Alex slept the whole night unless Phoenixâs nightmares were bad enough to wake Alex up too. And Phoenix had no idea what that meant.
A day or two after everything, Rosie had swung by with letters from them both from Neden. Phoenix had opened his. It was a mess of scrawling writing, of sentences written and scribbled out until they were illegible. But the main message was there. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. He hadn't thrown away the letter, had kept it wedged between two books on his bookshelf. Somewhere safe, where he could find it if he wanted, but also where he wouldn't have to stare at it every single day.
The morning was the first warm day in weeks. It was the first day things felt like spring again. The sunny weather made Phoenix stupidly happy. He hated winter anyway, and now he associated too many bad things with snow on the ground. The market was open for the first time in the season. The familiar sights and smells made Phoenix feel at peace, even just briefly.
This couldnât be happening. This had to be some horrific dream, a nightmare that he could wake up from, no matter how vivid it felt now. But he could feel the sting of nails embedded in his palm as he clenched his hands into fists. The scar on his side, on his shoulder, they seemed to be burning with the memory. He knew that Neden had said it had been years ago, knew how sorry they had seemed, but he couldnât shake the fact that they had been one of them, that at some point they had hated people like them enough to kill them. It was starting to feel like everything he had, every good relationship was falling apart, and it was all so far beyond his control and he couldnât change a goddamn thing. He wanted to cry, wanted to scream, wanted to yell, but his body wouldnât move, wouldnât react. He was frozen in his hunched position, just wanting to try and shield himself from anything else that could happen, anything else that could go wrong.
He didnât know how long heâd been there before he heard a soft, familiar voice. It wasnât the one he wanted to hear, though. âPhoenix, you need to go home. I can handle things here for you if you want,â Rosie said. âBut you canât work like this.â
âNo, I can⊠Iâll be fine, just give me a few minutes.â
âPhoenix, youâve been here for half an hour already. Go home. Iâll look after things here. You okay going home by yourself?â
âI- yeah. Call me if anything goes wrong or if- if you need to check anything or-â
âI will, alright? Just go home, if I see Alex, Iâll tell him youâve gone home, you werenât feeling well.â
The mention of Alex made Phoenixâs stomach tighten. But he shakily got to his feet, feeling the tension in his muscles from sitting in one position for so long. He left out the back door and made his way back to the apartment. He just kicked off his shoes and lay on the bed, staring into space. He had no idea how he was supposed to process any of this, how he was supposed to deal with it. His phone buzzed and it felt like it took all of his energy just to roll over and look at his phone. His stomach twisted again as he saw Alexâs name pop up on the phone. He was staying with Jaiden for the night.
Phoenix had ruined everything again.
At some point, he managed to drag himself up and get something to eat. It tasted like nothing, felt like it was just a routine, just something his body demanded he do even if he didnât want to. He fell asleep shortly after going back to bed, still in his clothes, just wrapped in a blanket. It wasnât a restful sleep. It was nightmare after nightmare after nightmare. He was in another attack, running to try and get to Rosie, to Zoe, to Jaiden, to Alex, and every time, he was too late. Alex turning into a demon. Everything, everyone Phoenix touched turning to sand. He kept waking up and kept falling asleep, could never stay awake no matter how bad the nightmare was.
He only woke up properly when he heard the door to the apartment shut. He went to check the time on his phone, but realised heâd forgotten to plug it in the night before and it had died.
The silence at first was heavy. Phoenix had no idea where to start. Iâm sorry. I missed you even though it was only for a night. Iâm so scared and I donât know what to do. I should have trusted you. I didnât sleep as well without you, He started with telling him about Neden.
Over the next few weeks, things started to get back to normal. They talked about it after Alex had forced Phoenix to shower, change his clothes and have coffee, and Phoenix had made breakfast for them both. But Phoenix wasnât able to let it go. He still found himself getting stuck on how easy it had been for him to give into believing Alex was cheating on him, how easy heâd given in to his own insecurity. Even that morning, when Alex had disappeared for a few hours, the possibility had crossed his mind, if only for a second before heâd denied it. They hadnât talked about that morning, but it still weighed on Phoenixâs mind. There was something⊠different now, something unspoken, and Phoenix didnât want to ask. Because now it was Phoenix who kept waking up in the middle of the night, haunted by nightmares. Theyâd been there before, theyâd been there since the first attack, worse since the second. But now it seemed like Alex slept the whole night unless Phoenixâs nightmares were bad enough to wake Alex up too. And Phoenix had no idea what that meant.
A day or two after everything, Rosie had swung by with letters from them both from Neden. Phoenix had opened his. It was a mess of scrawling writing, of sentences written and scribbled out until they were illegible. But the main message was there. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. He hadn't thrown away the letter, had kept it wedged between two books on his bookshelf. Somewhere safe, where he could find it if he wanted, but also where he wouldn't have to stare at it every single day.
The morning was the first warm day in weeks. It was the first day things felt like spring again. The sunny weather made Phoenix stupidly happy. He hated winter anyway, and now he associated too many bad things with snow on the ground. The market was open for the first time in the season. The familiar sights and smells made Phoenix feel at peace, even just briefly.