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A song...

a topic in Poetry, a part of the RPG forum.

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A song...

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby WaywardDreamer on Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:19 pm

Wrote this mostly during my lunch break at work today. Touched up a couple lines on the bus ride home...

Piano Girl
She said she didn't have a name,
That 'Rose' would have to do
And of the thousand men who watched her
She just had eyes for you
Had a smile like piano keys
And eyes like dusty glass
And she'd dance to your accordion
Bat her lashes for the brass

And every time you saw her
Another man would play her game
And she'd laugh with her piano
But she'd never share her name

She's an enigma in a teacup
And a dress that's midnight blue
And even when she cried your name
It was never meant for you
She shot a man in Birmingham -
At least that's what you heard
And Bailey behind the counter
Told you not to say a word

She's running from her debts
And running from her wedding bells
She can't run home to Wichita
So she's running home to Hell

There's violence in her voicebox,
Her piano weeps in key
She's singing songs of emptiness
And what can never be
And even now you realize
That she can't feel like you do
And even when you kissed her
It was never meant for you

Every time you saw her
Another man would ask her name
No matter how she answered,
It was always just the same
She might be Violet or Lily
Chrysanthemum or Rose
Just a flower drowned in whiskey -
Or so the story goes
Last edited by WaywardDreamer on Wed Aug 25, 2010 10:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
There's foxes in the hen house, and cows out in the corn
All the unions have been busted
Their proud red banners torn
To listen to the radio you'd think that all was well
But me and you and Cisco know
It's going right to hell

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Re: A song...

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Infinity on Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:57 pm

I actually like this, alot. I can't exactly say why, but there's something about this that catches me and makes me reread. Nice.
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Re: A song...

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby WaywardDreamer on Wed Aug 25, 2010 10:57 pm

Thank you. I was very happy with the cadence of the words. =] It works well in spoken word, which has always been - to me - a sign of my better songwriting... usually happens accidentally. I never seem to write anything very good when I'm trying to write.

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Re: A song...

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Cer on Sat Aug 28, 2010 5:57 pm

I really, really love this. I have to agree with Infinity. It is really catchy. I could imagine it either as a poem or a song (I'm a guitarist, myself), and it'd be amazing as either. =) I will definitely have to bookmark this. It seems that all the amazing writing does come when it just flows instead of actively attempting to write, mhm? At least, that's what I think.
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[Thank you, Master!]
I am to love, honour, cherish, obey
Until my death and beyond my decay.

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Re: A song...

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby WaywardDreamer on Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:58 am

If you play guitar, chords I've been playing it with are

Am
E7
Am
E7
F
E7
F
E7

Dm
C
Dm
E7

...and so on. Line by line. With a capo on the second fret.

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Re: A song...

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Cer on Thu Sep 02, 2010 9:06 pm

Thank you so much. I've been needing some new material to practice with. This may sound silly, but strum pattern/time?

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Re: A song...

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby WaywardDreamer on Fri Sep 03, 2010 3:44 pm

It's 4/4, strum on the 1st, 3rd, and 4th count of every measure. Pretty slow, I play it around 68-72 BPM generally. On the second count pluck an arpeggio of the chord, lowest (fingered) string, highest, then second highest. Nice and simple.

For the 'chorus' (if you can really call it that), just strum every half-count.

Naturally, if you come up with something interesting I'd love to see/hear.

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Re: A song...

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Cer on Sat Sep 04, 2010 4:52 pm

Sounds good. Once I master your version, I'll try to play around with it and find some interesting new way to play it. =) If I can fandangle anything interesting, I'll shoot you a message or report back here. Thanks for all the info!

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