Through the Veil

((Any comments are welcome, just be courteous if you need to criticize.))

Prologue

When I thought about how I would die, I didn't expect it to be this way. It wasn't fair how fate had pulled me out this early on, with my seven year old daughter Nancy and my drop dead gorgeous husband Dean (play on words, I know). If I was capable of tears, I would have cried just watching their sullen faces on the day of my funeral, everyone dressed in black.
Even now, I curse the very thing that had taken me from those I loved, the thing that I begged to let me watch my daughter grow to be a fine young woman, and to try and reach out and help her along the jagged road that lay in front of her. Nancy would grow up without a mother, the third arm of every girl. She would pass by happy families and the smiling faces of mothers and daughters and miss everything that we could have done together. Dean would go on dating other women, a widower, a man who hadn't expected that only nine years after his marriage would the vow 'To death shall we part' come to life. Neither did I for that matter.

How did fate snatch me away, one might say. It was the day my heart had stopped beating, shortly after I found out I had artery problems. I was put on a list for a transplant, but my body was unable to wait the estimated year or so. I died waking up from the pains that had haunted me for the past few months. Everyone was asleep as I floated into the mist that appeared before me, readying me for the next progressive step, wherever it need be.

I never made it there.

Instead, as I reached the gates that would take me to a new home, I panicked and ran the other way. Little did I know that one could not do that, so I fell back to the Earth as a spirit. I found that no one could see me nor hear me. I couldn't do anything but walk aimlessly around the world I used to live, stuck without any clue as to how I could make it back to the gates. Pure emptiness filled me with a pain that could only be weakened by watching my family as it fell apart. I saw my funeral, the beautiful preparations so that my spirit could rest at ease. At least that's what my family would think. I watched as my little girl's life changed during the ceremonies. I sat beside her and rested my arm around her shoulder, able to feel her as if I had never left. She showed no sign that she could feel my touch, making me want to cry. The problem was that I no longer had a body that allowed me to do such a thing, so I sat there with a sad look on my face, watching as my Nancy cried her way through the day.

Dean had a sullen look across his face, a single tear streaming down his cheek. The look of him filled my emptiness with even more pain, and I wanted to call out to him, to tell him I was there and hold him tight. I never said a word, knowing that if I did, it would only go to waste. Instead, I made due with watching the rest of the ceremonies. My mother made her eulogy, tears springing to her eyes as she wished that it would have been her instead, that no parent should ever outlive their child. Even more came as she noted the hard times of losing my father three years ago.
I smiled sadly as my brother Greg performed a self-composed song in memory of me. I promised to remember as long as I could, and bring with me the soft tune of his guitar as I wandered in limbo.
The toughest part was listening to Dean give his speech. It went on for hours, describing every little detail of our love (excluding the R-rated topics), beginning with the day we met, to the blissful wedding we shared in the mountains, to the last few days where he felt out of place whenever he wasn't near me.
The last part was difficult to bear.

'Kat was always the strong willed type,' Dean said, 'Even to the day she died. I would never leave her side, knowing that she might not make it. But she insisted that I took a few days out of town to go spend time with my family and friends, who I didn't see since three days before she was placed on the heart transplant list.' There was a moment of pause as his voice cracked, 'I tried to reason with her, I was hesitant, but in the end she had persuaded me. She was good at persuading, always had been.' A faint smile crossed Dean's face, and I knew he remembered the day I persuaded him to go out with me. 'So I left two days prior to her final attack, I played golf with Kiel, Matt, and Jim, spent an evening with my parents and little sister, but always, Kat was on my mind.
'I swear I could have felt something that night she passed. It was a cold chill through my spine as I sat on my parent's terrace watching the stars, thinking of her. I knew when I felt it that I needed to be there, I knew something was terribly wrong. So I jumped in my car and drove as fast as I could, not caring if I was to get a speeding ticket for my lead foot. I had to be there.
'When I got there, it was too late. My Katherine was gone; her beautiful green eyes now a vacant stare.' Dean looked toward the casket and let his tears get the best of him. 'Nancy was still asleep, and I didn't feel like waking her, but I knew that she would have my head in the morning if I never. So I walked into her room and shook her awake, telling her to get dressed, we had to call someone. When she asked who, I couldn't hold it in any longer. My daughter, my sweet, sweet little girl never knew what was wrong until she looked me in the eyes.' I looked over to Nancy, her face buried in her hands. I didn't need to listen to know that she was distraught, she was shaking as she cried, murmuring my name through each sob.
Dean continued on, 'Kat. If you are here with us now, in this very room, I want you to know that you were a beautiful woman, a loving mother and a wonderful wife and daughter. I wish that you had never left, that I could see your face one more time and hear the soft melody of your voice. I wish that I could feel the warmth of you in my arms again. If it was a way to get you back, I would be as greedy as I possibly could. Yet fate has had another idea with you in mind, and I hope that she treats you well, I wish you the highest spot in heaven so that I can see you once more when my time comes. Kat, I love you with all my heart. Don't forget that.' And with that final word, Dean broke down and cried, leaving his place at the front of the room.
As he took a seat beside Nancy, I stood up and walked over to him, leaning toward his ear and whispered, 'I love you too Dean. I always have, and always will.' With that, I walked out of the service, back to the house where I used to live.

'I know..'

The house was abnormally quiet when Dean and Nancy arrived from the funeral, yet another reminder of their loss. Nancy took off to her room, trying desperately to pull herself out of this hard situation while Dean collapsed on the couch. He scanned the walls of his now seemingly empty home, pausing at each picture of Kat that came into his line of sight. Pictures of her holding Nancy as a baby, of Dean and Kat's wedding, of their first date and many more that presented the time line of the years that he had known Katherine. It all had ended so quickly, in a matter of months that Dean felt he should have been by Kat's side always. But time couldn't reverse.
Then there was the funeral, the closing of the hole that proved Kat would never come back. Dean closed his eyes and pictured the sound of her voice. He could have sworn he had heard it as he sat down from his speech, as if she were actually there, listening to him.

'I love you too Dean. I always have, and always will.' Kat's voice echoed through his mind. He had so wanted it to be true, that she had whispered those soft words into his ear, that fate was giving him a chance to hear her once again. Dean wanted it so much that he had whispered, 'I know' in order to persuade himself that there was some hope, that there will always be hope.

**************************

The car ride home had been quiet, a void in the air as Nancy stared out the window. She remembered clearly, as if it was yesterday, the time that her mother had been well enough to chase her through the garden sprinkler, the sun glowing in her auburn hair. A tear rolled down Nancy's cheek as she sat herself at the desk her mother and father had built for her drawings. She pulled out a fresh piece of paper, pushing away the pictures that were still in progress. This one would be different, Nancy knew, it would be placed among the assortment of flowers that lay at her mother's grave. A memoir of what Katherine meant to Nancy all in one drawing.
It started with a sun, as most of Nancy's pictures started out. Badly drawn, but straight from the heart, she added a couple of flowers and a laughing family. At this, Nancy felt a breeze through her hair, chilling her to the bone. She paused and looked behind her. No window in the room was open, and her door was shut tight. Nancy shook her head and went back to her work.

*************************

It was impossible to watch both of them at once, but I managed. The emptiness in my chest seemed to dull down as I watched those I loved, but it was replaced by pain as I read the pain clearly in their faces. My Nancy tried hard to conceal her emotions as she headed to her room while Dean let it get the best of him.
If only I could show them I was here somehow.

I was hesitant leaving Dean there staring blankly on the couch, but I knew that I would hate myself even more if I never checked in on Nancy. Motherhood is definitely not something that disappears after death. Unless it did once one passed through to the other side, I may never know now.
When I arrived at Nancy's room, her door was closed. Of course, the first thing that went through my mind was whether or not I could walk through it or not. But when I touched the cold metal of the doorknob, I realized this wasn't so. A myth shot right down the can. I twisted the knob and slowly opened the door, then closed it softly behind me.
Now, I wasn't sure if that made any difference in the living world, so I made note to test that out later, when I wasn't worried about the mental welfare of my family.

Nancy was sitting at her desk drawing. Half drawn images were scattered across the floor at her feet, instead, she was starting on a new picture. It was a picture of our family, or so I thought. I rested my hands on her shoulders and my chin in her hair, watching as she sketched the family in pencil. But it didn't last long, as Nancy whipped around so fast I lost my balance. Did she feel me there? The question rang through my head as Nancy turned back to her drawing, obviously pushing aside whatever happened to her.
Confused, I headed back to the living room where I found Dean holding an old family album open across his lap. I watched as a few more tears streaked down his face.
'What could have I done to stop it, Kat? How could I change things so that you were still here?' He asked, directing his question to a picture of me during our last houseboat trip. I sat down beside him and leaned my head against his shoulder.
If Dean felt anything by my touch, he made no gesture that proved it.
'How can I go on now?' He cried. I wanted desperately to wipe the tears away, but I knew it wouldn't work. All I could do was to reply, as if he could still hear me.
'You can, and you will honey. I don't think I'll be able to move on if you can't acknowledge that I'm always with you, Dean.' I said, hoping desperately that he could somehow hear those words in some form or another.
He looked my direction with a silent question across his face, but gave no word. For an instant, I thought he had heard me, but that was shattered instantly as he pulled himself off of the couch and headed out the door.
'Nancy,' He called, 'I'm going for a walk. If you need anything, just call my cell, alright sweetheart?'
'Sure, Daddy.' Nancy's voice echoed down the hall.
With that, Dean left.

I'm surprised that no one has commented on this piece! You are an amazing writer! I generally find myself interested in pieces on death and passings as a great writer can spring emotion from the reader and capture that love or whatever is held in the individuals. You've truly done that. I happened to find myself teary-eyed at one point during this, and from that, I do know that your writing is amazing.

I love that Dean could hear her voice and that you showed the grief, along with the love Kat still had for her family. I spend a great deal of time in cemeteries, and it is always touching to see the great love people had for their deceased family members shown. I love that this, though, shows the deceased as well. Overall, amazing job, and I'll definitely be hunting around to read any other postings you have!

Chapter Two

The air was cool and crisp as Dean wandered through the neighborhood, past Amy Kennedy's house, through the woods and down the path to the lake where Dean and I had first met. As the light on the water shimmered faintly ahead, I was brought back to that day that had changed my life forever.

It was ten years ago, just before I hit my twenty-first birthday. It was early evening, the time when the sun hit the water just right, that it shimmered across the lake's surface. Back then I usually retreated after a tough day of job hunting, which never seemed to go right for me at the time, mainly due to the fact that I never really finished high school, since my family was a bit on the poor side and needed an extra hand.
Though it seemed like a good idea when I dropped out, at the time when I was twenty and getting passed off from any job I applied, I wished I never done what I had in the past. But that was over and done.
I was on my own, to add to that, since my family had a strict tradition that everyone moved out of their parents home at the age of nineteen. So I was stuck with the rent at an apartment about eight blocks from the house Dean and I moved into, with no roommate, no job, and a payment due in a couple of days. I needed to let off some steam.
The lake was a place of solace, a place where I could escape the problems for a few minutes before I rushed back, realizing that time was, indeed, flying by. Never did I realize that this particular lake would be the place where I met the love of my life.

So there I was, sitting on my favorite bench, watching the sunset glisten across the lake as a family of geese swam by, when I heard someone approach.
'Mind if I take a seat?' They asked. I turned to face the stranger, and was surprised to see a young man about my age standing there, rather than the usual resident of the nursing home that just faced the lake from the opposite side of the lake where I approached.
I gave him a quick scan, as most single women often would, to make sure he didn't look the part of a serial killer. Some would say I was checking him out, since he was, in fact, a good looking guy. Broad shouldered, small framed with a rugged look that you don't see in a lot of men, he didn't look the type to be anything but kind. Though you can't really tell what goes through anyone's mind, no matter what they looked like.
So I nodded, as any courteous citizen would, and looked back at the lake in its full splendor while the man took a seat next to me.
At first it felt awkward, sitting there in silence with a stranger you haven't yet formally met, wondering if they were to pull a gun on you at any moment. A romantic thought for the first meeting, I know, but what else would you expect? Love at first sight and us leaping into each others arms before we even knew more about one another? Not my definition of reality, my friend. So I was quite relieved when he decided to break the ice and introduce himself.
'I’m Dean by the way.’ He said, turning to face me. That was the moment I saw his eyes, now that they were level with mine. How do I explain the coloring? They were the most gorgeous shade of grey I had ever seen; icy, but with a gentle look that didn’t make one feel that their soul was being punctured. Call me a girl, but those eyes made me melt.
‘Katherine.’ I said with a smile, and turned back to view the lake before I started drooling uncontrollably.
‘I don’t see you here that often.’ Dean continued, shuffling his feet awkwardly, ‘Maybe once or twice, but that’s the extent of it.’
I grinned, ‘What, and you chose now to approach me? Must’ve been a hell of a sight for you.’
Dean laughed, ‘Sure was.’
‘So why don’t you ask me and get this over with?’
He raised an eyebrow, ‘Ask you what?’
‘Ask me on a date.’ I replied, grinning like a fool. From the blank stare he gave me, I couldn’t help but laugh. ‘What? A complete stranger can’t ask someone to ask them out? What’s the matter with the world today?’
‘No, but-‘ Dean stammered.
‘But nothing,’ I interrupted, ‘You know you want to, I’m twenty and you look about twenty yourself-‘
‘Twenty three’
‘Okay, twenty three. No one in their right mind would sit down next to an attractive stranger like me and not want to get in their pants… Unless they are a woman of course, but even then, you never know.’
That earned another laugh. ‘You’re quite something. What did I get myself into?’ Dean asked, staring at me as if I were insane – which I probably was.
‘Tell you what,’ I thought aloud, ‘How about a friendly ‘date’’ I used air quotas, ‘You know, get to know each other more as friends, and see where we go from there.’
He smiled, ‘Sounds good. Say… Dinner at eight on Friday?’
‘Wouldn’t miss it.’ I then gave him my number and address, and went back to admiring the sunset.

*******************************************************************

That was a life changing day for Dean. Before then, he didn’t realize that there could even be people like Katherine living in the world; ones who would actually get comfortable with near strangers after the exchange of names.
At first, he thought it was his stunning good looks, not to be conceited or anything like that, but he was proven wrong when he saw how well Kat got along with anyone the minute they introduced each other. She had a trust that he had never seen in anyone ever before, and he was still convinced she was the only one on Earth that was like that. One of a kind, his Kat was.
So as Dean took a seat on the very bench that they met that lovely evening, he couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with emotions as every minute they spent here came back to him. Their first kiss on their first real date, the day he proposed to her, right at the shore of the lake during twilight. It was as if he had waken from a dream, a beautiful dream that left him heartbroken as the sun came and shattered the illusion. But as Dean stroked the engraved ‘K + D Forever’ on the back of the bench that the two had put there on their third date, did he realize that he had actually lived those amazing ten years. Ones that will forever be remembered.
A single tear rolled down Dean’s cheek, and he wiped it away quickly. Not that it mattered anyway, since there was no one in sight. That was when he gave in completely, letting his head fall to his hands and his sobs grow longer and louder.

**********************************************************

I couldn’t watch him like this, crying there and not being able to do anything. It was too much to bear, and so hard to sit by him and know that there is nothing I couldn’t do anymore to stop the tears from falling.
I wrapped my arm around his shoulders, reveling in the feel of holding him. Dean didn’t so much as twitch at the touch. As his sobs grew louder, I started to hum the lullaby I used to sing to Nancy when she was having a bad night, remembering the one time that Dean fell asleep to it. I had teased him so hard the next morning, that he vowed he would bid goodnight when I wasn’t around.
‘Even the wind sounds like her.’ Dean mumbled through his hands, ‘The very song that I sought to hear. I spent every night standing by Nancy’s bedroom just to hear her sing before she left.’
I smiled. So he did stand by the door. I always knew those footsteps shuffling away every time I finished meant something.
‘See there? Now it stopped. Fate is being slightly harsh don’t you think?’ Deans sobs stopped, and he leaned back into the bench and stared off. I had to reposition myself so that I could keep my arm around him.
‘Kat?’ He called out softly, ‘Why’d you tell me to leave?’
‘Because you were sitting around doing nothing, ignoring the phone as it rang. I couldn’t answer it, since it hurt too much to move. I wanted you to do something than stay at home all day.’
Dean snorted. Did he hear me?
‘Dean?’
He turned towards me, the questioning look back in his eyes.
‘It sounds like you’re right there Kat. Sitting right next to me, but that can’t be possible.’
If I was capable of tears, I’d bet my eyes would have been full of them. ‘Oh, honey, it is possible. I’m watching you right now. If only you could feel me too, then you’d know exactly where I am.’
Dean reached out towards my face. He was pretty accurate to tell you the truth. He reached for my cheek, and when his hand reached me… it didn’t go through me as I had expected.

I'm so glad to finally see more for this! The only question I have is why apostrophes are being used instead of actual quotations? It could be the secret English nerd inside me, but it would be a bit better to use " 's instead. Anyway, back to fawning over the story. Being that I recently watched What Dreams May Come, this really reminds me of it. The idea that soulmates are always attached and more sensitive to each other (even in the one being a ghost aspect) is a really beautiful idea, which comes across in a lot of movies too it seems. I think you captured it pretty well, though, too. =) It is nice to include a piece of the past when writing on the present and attach the sentimental value to places and things. Great job!