Decker's Mansion

Raven blinked, the smile all but disappearing from her face and was replaced by a look of confusion. How could he not know this already? Wasn't he the one that had them taken, had them picked out and locked up in this place? Had those girls executed? She really didn't understand...He had to know...But, what if he really didn't? She'd already felt that he was too sweet to her and her sister wives to be capable of such a thing, but that was just on the outside...Until now. She opened her mouth, about to form the word 'yes' - thinking that, if he really was that kind, he would let all of them go...Thinking of Shelby, and Valentina, and maybe Lacey, she guessed that this would be best decision for them...And Decker had asked for her honest answer, hadn't he?
But something stopped her, and her mind went back to her life before coming here. Her father's drunken abuse, her mother's neglect, how she was forced to either endure it or live out on the street in the cold, where the people were weak and emaciated and dying...She couldn't go back to that. Not even if she was only here because she was forced...At least in this place she wouldn't starve, or freeze to death, and there was even the chance of her being loved here...
She knew it was selfish, and she knew it was wrong, but still she said,
"Of course not..." She looked down at the rose which was still in her hand. Yes, it was fake...and yes, this marriage was fake...But, now that she'd had this long to think about it, something fake and beautiful was a hell of a lot better than something real and wilting. "I want to be here...And, if it's how I've acted that's made you think that, then I'm sorry...I told you, it just takes a while for me to warm up to people..."

Raven stared down. She didn't know if she could keep this lie up...But if she told the truth, would he force her to leave? Would she have to go back on the streets and either wait for the sickness or the lack of food to claim her? She couldn't even risk that.
"Decker..." she started, her voice returning to its timid whisper. How could she make him believe her? She let out a soft sigh, then reached her hand over to rest on top of his and looked up into his eyes. "I wasn't forced...I want to be here..." The lie came much easier than she thought it would, despite the wrenching guilt she felt tearing away at her chest.

Raven looked back down when Decker stood up, furiously blinking back the stinging she felt in her eyes. This was the first time she felt close to crying since she was taken by the Gatherers, all the time since then she'd just spent mostly in a state of terrified numbness. But why was all of this emotion threatening to spill out now? Was it the guilt of lying for such selfish reasons, the fear of being abandoned again, or that Decker was so close to discovering the truth and sending her away and back onto the streets? Or was it just that all of this was finally catching up on her?
She closed her eyes, turning her face away from Decker and willing that teary feeling to just disappear. 'If you don't mind, I have to talk to Shelby.' She did mind. she minded a lot. Why couldn't he just let this whole thing go and return to how they were before? When his face lit up when they talked about books, when they were both smiling and she didn't feel half as petrified speaking as she normally did, when he was so close to kissing her...Why did anything have to come between that?

((OOC: Can I just ask why you're so adamant on Decker finding out? After the first time, didn't we all kind of agree it was a bad idea for that to happen so early on? It'll just ruin the story and make things so horrible and awkward. Is it so bad he remain ignorant for a little while before that bomb's dropped?))

((Ah, right. Okidokes. ^^ Sorry XD))

Raven quickly turned her head to face Decker, feeling that same electric tingle when he took her hands. Her cheeks flushed pink once again as she continued to blink away the tears trying to spill from her eyes, her lips twisting into a small, only half-faked smile. She was relieved to have him stay with her, and the way he kissed her hands loosened that crushing tightness in her chest slightly, but there were still those overwhelming nerves and panic that stopped a true smile from forming.
"I...I'm fine..." she whispered through the huge, dry lump in her throat as she gently pulled one of her hands away from Decker and pushed a few stray strands of hair out of her face. "I'm just a nervous girl..."

What would help her relax? She honestly had no clue...She didn't think relaxing was even possible here, at least tonight with everything that had happened. But she didn't want to appear less than able-minded to Decker, mumbling 'I don't know's constantly - which she had a feeling she'd be doing in the future. As well as being a shy and nervous girl, she could also be very indecisive. So she looked down, rolling the stem of the rose inbetween her fingers, and, with a smile, said:
"I...I'm not entirely sure...Maybe...Maybe we could continue talking like before?"

Valentina blinked and looked at Shelby, the colour draining from her face even more than it already had since coming upstairs. That poor girl...
"...Hey...I won't let you mess up..." She said quietly, giving her a small smile. "Cross my heart. I mean...I'm already trying to just slip through the cracks in this place, anyway...just stay in the back with me, and you and your family will be fine." Her smile faded slightly when the next thought crossed her mind. "...You don't...like him, do you? You know...as far as romance goes?" She said, slightly quieter than she'd said the things before. "I-it's just because...well...I'm not keen on getting involved romantically with him, 'cause...let's face it...it's not love if it's forced..." Her smile began to slowly fade more. "But...I guess I was just hoping to find that little bit of comfort and security from someone else here...someone who felt the same about things as I do...and...we seemed to be on the same page with a few things, and...well, I guess I was just wondering if you maybe...wanted to be...friends...?"
She gave another, more nervous and less convincing smile. It made her sound like a child. And she hated that. But...she just wanted someone that she knew she'd be able to talk to, and...as far as she could tell, Shelby was kind at heart.

"I haven't..." Raven answered, looking up at her husband and giving him a smile. Originally coming from a poor area, people had no time or money for leisure activities. People were born, they grew up protecting their homes from thieving orphans and Gatherers, they worked, they ate, they slept, they reproduced, they died. There were occasional bombings of Science Facilities by the pro-naturalist activists, of which her father was one. But she didn't want to think of her father, or those bombings - not now, not ever again.
She remembered her mother, however, when she was a lot younger, telling her how she'd play the piano when she was a girl a little bit older than Raven, and how the beautiful notes spilled from her fingers to form slow, captivating melodies...This was a long time ago, though - before the sickness was properly discovered - but since hearing those stories, Raven had always wanted to be able to play just as her mother had. That dream had disappeared for a while when she was growing up, but now, being in a place where she thought it may actually be possible, and hearing about what Decker enjoyed, it brought back those memories. This, and reading, were the only forms of leisure she knew of.