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Captain Jonathan Bones

Who said dead men tell no tales? Yarr.

0 · 584 views · located in Rotten Rabbit's Tavern

a character in “Fusion Fantasy Neo”, as played by GBA

Description

Name:
Captain Jonathan Bones

Yo ho, Yo ho (A pirate's life for me!)
Image

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Age: Undead. Yarr.

Gender: Male

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

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Physical Description: Jonathan is a tall and incredibly bulky Dry Bones, dressed in ragged, yet easy-to-spot sailor's clothing; wearing a grand captain's hat and dark-blue trench coat over it, the coat riddled with holes, patches and tears; both pieces of garb there to likely signify his rank among his crew. He also sports a great, yet unkempt Santa-beard, and is missing both his right leg and left arm - those limbs having been replaced with a peg leg and massive hook, respectively. Said hook is interchangeable as well - being able to turn into a large hand cannon. He wears a special belt around his waist, as well; the reason for it being special being that it sports a unusual crystal on the buckle, shaped much like a skull. This crystal's properties and origins are largely unknown, to this day - even to Jonathan.

Personality: Infinitely Greedy. Fearless. Merciless. Bloodthirsty. These are but a few of the words associated with this scourge of the seas. A pirate first and foremost, Jonathan cares very little about anything besides himself, his loyal crew, a good bottle of rum, and most of all, wealth. Each day of his un-life is usually spent trying to gather more and more through whatever means available, until the day comes where he can assert himself as the one true pirate king; and even then he'll continue to plunder and murder - and he will absolutely not hesitate to cut down anyone that tries to deny him this. The undead captain does have a good side however, as unlikely it may be - though it is largely manipulated by coin, and those within his vicinity; having a sort of respect for ruffians and villains alike who wish to go out and do their own thing.

History: Still a fearsome pirate even when he was alive ages ago and still just as greedy, Jonathan was once a charismatic Koopa sailor who saw himself as one of many unacknowledged rivals to fabled pirate king Cortez, and to this end sought to gather all the wealth in the world - Cortez's especially - and horde it for himself and his crew, in an effort to prove himself as the greatest pirate to plague the seas; sowing terror across the world in the meantime. One fateful eve, on board his emperor-among-ships - the Leviathan - Jonathan led his men to the frozen southern land that would later be known as the Wanbey Isles, seeking a treasure that was said to grant it's holder infinite wealth, and thus he, his crew - even the Leviathan, were all lost to the wastes... or so the legend goes.

A few millennia later however, amidst a great night's storm surrounding Wanbey, they soon resurfaced - but as dreadful undead; skeletons, ghosts and phantoms, aboard a massive ghost ship, all of which brought down many a trader's vessel in that single, wrath-filled night; swelling both their ranks and their pockets.
Since then, Jonathan and his crew have tirelessly skulked the seas, plundering and pillaging wherever they may go, although they are rumored to have a hideout somewhere in the Wanbey Isles.

Equipment: Jonathan holds a variety of equipment on himself alone - sporting a massive, razor-sharp hook for a left arm which can also turn into a cannon and launch explosives. He also carries a grappling hook, an ornate cutlass, a flintlock pistol, and is known to carry a number of Bob-Ombs, too. Aside from this, he also has his undead crew to back him up - and above all else, the Leviathan itself.

Other: Jonathan Bones and his crew are undead for reasons even they are unaware of, a curse that has even seemingly affected their ancient ghost ship, the Leviathan - although over the years they have come to see it as a blessing in disguise. Although they can be killed, and the Leviathan utterly destroyed, on the next eve both them and their ship will rise once more - a vicious cycle that has rendered these ancient pirates effectively immortal, fearless, and free to steal as much as they wish.

So begins...

Captain Jonathan Bones's Story

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Dr. Y Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by GBA
The tavern door swings open once more as a bulky, yet weathered sailor soon hobbles in, dressed in ragged captain's clothing and sporting a tangled beard that looks like it's spent many a day uncombed. Perhaps the most noteworthy thing about him, however, is the massive hook replacing his left hand. ..Well, that, and the fact that he looks pretty dead - but let's not talk about that part.

Regardless, this new face looks about the tavern with interest and, tipping his hat at Old Man Sam for some reason, he quickly finds an empty seat for himself.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Dr. Y Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Neither Dr. Y nor Ramses pay much attention to the newcomer. Dr. Y seems lost in thought, while Ramses is merely examining the gem(s) he got as a reward for... well, being there during the whole tower fiasco.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Dr. Y Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by Sockie
Sam nods at the new arrival, then continues to clean glasses.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Dr. Y Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by GBA
Jonathan eventually notices the gems Ramses is looking over, and also starts examining them - albeit from afar; scratching his chin with interest as he eyes them.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Dr. Y Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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In Dr. Y's memory...

Ten years ago. Ramses went up to the doctor's desk and slammed down a piece of paper.

"You're leaving too, huh?" asked Dr. Y.

"Mm-hmm," said Ramses. "Contract expired."

"My ass it expired," said Dr. Y. "You've got six months left."

"That was then," said Ramses. "This is now. My contract stated that if at any point my life should be in sufficient danger I may begin early retirement from your little merry band."

"I SAVED your miserable life," countered Dr. Y.

"Doesn't change the fact that one of our own nearly killed me," said Ramses.

"... You're the only member I have left," said Dr. Y. "If you do this then there is no more Platoon."

"You can always find some other sucker to hold a gun," said Ramses with a shrug. "If you still have the money, that is."


Dr. Y snaps back to reality as a news report comes on screen - Congressman Sean H. Uldrich making a speech demanding the immediate capture of the White Platoon. Ramses' communicator suddenly starts ringing, and he answers it, putting the gems away in a pack.

"... I understand," said Ramses after a few seconds.

Ramses hangs up and pulls out his rifle, aiming it at Dr. Y.

"Nothing personal, doc," said Ramses. "Just business."

Ramses fires... and Dr. Y quickly ducks out of the way, leaving Ramses' shot to shatter a beer bottle in some thug's hand.

"HEY!' shouted the thug. "That was my drink!"

The thug angrily shatters another beer bottle.

"HEY!" shouted a different thug. "That was MY drink!"

The thugs start brawling with one another, blocking Ramses' line of fire, and Dr. Y slinks over to the bar, putting some money on it.

"Give me anything," said Dr. Y to Old Man Sam. "Looks like a whole bunch of people here need some more drinks."

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Dr. Y Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by Sockie
Sam nods, and slides a glass of beer to Dr. Y.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Dr. Y Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Dr. Y smashes the beer over another thug's head.

"HEY-" began the thug.

"He did it," said Dr. Y, pointing to Ramses.

The thug, being none too bright, charges for Ramses, who is tackled into some more thugs, who get angry at the previous thug and attack him. Some thieves try to steal the wallets of these last thugs, who notice and attack the thieves, and anger the friends of the thieves... needless to say a bar brawl just started.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Dr. Y Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by Sockie
Sam watches, and sighs at the mess that he'll have to clean up.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Dr. Y Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by GBA
Jonathan also watches the fighting from his seat in the background, silently chewing on something in the meantime; an amused smirk spreading across his face.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Dr. Y Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Derpy Hooves was flying happily through the air, her mail satchel stock full of letters. She smiled happily, her yellow wall eyes looking in opposite directions, yet she still managed to fly straight. I better deliver dese wetters owr I won't get any bits for muffins!! She thought to herself, sounding derpy even in her mind. Her next letter was headed for Rotten Rabbit Tavern, and her boss had given specific instructions as to where it was. The problem was that she couldn't remember what the instructions were. She was so busy thinking, she didn't realise she was losing altitude. She shrugged, guessing a muffin probably could resurrect the dead if altered, then saw the ground and the door of a bar hurtling towards her. Or rather, her hurtling towards it. Derpy braced herself for impact, and smashed through the door, leaving a large hole in it.

Derpy coughed and looked around at the grimy tavern, and saw a sign that said Welcome to the Rotten Rabbit's Tavern. Derpy smiled, her crooked eyes wobbling in random directions as she looked around. There weren't very nice folk in the tavern, and a majority of them were looking at her. She didn't notice however, and reached into her satchel for the letter. She brought it out, and held it up high in her grey hoof. "Wetter fow a Mistewr Owld Man Sam!" She smiled obliviously, not hearing the handful of awws from the softer hearted drinkers in the tavern. She just sat there, her blond tail sitting behind her in the dust and grime of the tavern floor.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Dr. Y Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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I would imagine that most the patrons are looking somewhere else (like, say, at the nearest thug who makes them angry), considering that Derpy just broke into the middle of a bar fight. But that's just me. Anyway, Dr. Y takes advantage of the chaos to slip out of the tavern. Ramses tries to follow but is held up by several brutes.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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(Whoops, my bad! Derp. :P)

Derpy sat for a while, holding the letter high above her head, smiling happily, but soon saw that no one was listening. Her facial expression changed to one of disappointment, and she looked around for someone to help find Old Man Sam. She saw a group of large men holding up bro hooves to a scared looking mushroom man, and she smiled. Before the brute could do anything, she sped up to him, and clonked her hoof with his fist. "Bwohoof! Teehee!" Her eyes were closed happily, clumsy innocence practically radiating from her. She then opened her eyes and flapped her wings, keeping elevated. "Hewwo! i'm Dewrpy! I came over here to ask you a question!" She hovered there in silence for a second whilst the group of thugs raised an eyebrow at her. She put a hoof to her chin and a confused expression came across her face. "Oh noes! Now I can't remember what the question was!"

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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OOC: No worries, it happens.

IC:

"Little busy here, Dewrpy," said Ramses, ducking under one of the thugs' punches. Thankfully, the rest seem too distracted by the adorable pony to throw more.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Derpy looked at the funny little mushroom man and frowned. She put her letter back in her satchel and then placed her hands on her hips. She glowered at the thug trying to punch Ramses, and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and she humphed at him. "Dat's not hoow you doow a bwohoof! DIS is hoow you doow a bwo hoof." She then closed her eyes happily, a grin on her face, and intending to hit the thug's fist, she accidentally hit him in the face knocking him out. She looked down at the big unconscious thug on the floor, a hoof to her chin, her wall eyes wobbling. "Awre youw owkay?" He didn't reply due to being knocked out, but Derpy didn't need an answer. She bounced on top of the thug, his beer gut acting almost like a trampoline. "Wakey wakey mistewr!" The thug awoke with a yowl and ran to the opposite end of the tavern, clutching his stomach. Derpy watched him go then turned back tothe mushroom man, shrugging. "I juwst down't know what went wrowng!"

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Ramses, in the meantime, gets an idea to get any other would-be aggressors off his back.

"I'm afraid I don't know either," said Ramses, pushing another thug to Derpy. "Why don't you try again on this fine gentleman?"

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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"Goowd idea mistewr!" She smiled happily, and closed her eyes. She then clonked her hoof with the thug's fist. Very hard. The large man yowled, and jumped up and down in pain, massaging his broken knuckles. Derpy giggled. "Dat's a funny dance mistewr!" She stopped flying, and copied the thug, jumping up and down on another thug's foot. He cried in pain, stumbling backwards, hitting a table and knocking himself unconscious. Derpy looked down at him, and scrunched her nose. "Why is evewryone so sweepy today?" She giggled and jumped onto the man's beer gut. She bounced on it like a trampoline, shouting as she did so. "WAKE UP MISTEWR!" The man did wake up. In pain. He ran to the opposite end of the tavern as fast as he could with a sprained foot, and sat in a corner, clutching his stomach. Derpy looked at the mushroom man and shrugged.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Any thugs that are still standing, seeming to think that Ramses has some kind of arcane control over this grey flying pony, quickly go back to bothering people that aren't him. Ramses looks out the window to see where Dr. Y might have gone, but he's long gone. Muttering something in Shroob under his breath, he turns back to Derpy.

"So," said Ramses. "Thought of what your question is yet?"

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Derpy watched the other burly men scurry off and waved happily at them. She heard the mushroom man mutter something strange, and she turned to him. When he asked her whether she remembered her question. She frowned, and laughed. "Oh! I remembewr now! Doo youw know Owld Man Sawm? I've got a wetter fowr him!" She pulled out the letter from her satchel and held it high. But a sudden gust of wind from the hole in the door blew it out of her hoof. She squeaked, and zipped after it. She caught t, but lost control and crashed into the bar, hitting her head hard. She sat, silent, and a tear welled up in her crooked eye. "Ow..." Her lip wobbled, and she limped over to the mushroom man.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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"Well," said Ramses, resisting the urge to chuckle. "Old Man Sam is behind the bar, like always."

Ramses points over to Old Man Sam. Being the jerk of a bounty hunter that he is he made no move to try and get the letter back for Derpy. Then he reconsidered, thinking that a mail pony, no matter how... inexperienced... may still be of some use for tracking Dr. Y down. It might, then, be a good idea to get her to like him.

"Hey," said Ramses. "Don't cry. I can take that letter to him if you're having trouble."

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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"Oh, I'm not gowing to cwy, dis happens a wot, it just huwrts." She looked over at the bar, and saw the old man behind the bar. She smiled, finally understanding why he was called Old Man Sam. She looked at Ramses and be beckoned with her hoof. "Come oown!" She looked at him with her wall eyes, and started to hover in the air, smiling happily, her face filled with an expression of innocence and happiness.