Entry Four: Bad Trip/When The World Ended... Again
Note: Excuse any bad language in this chapter please. Nate's a wannabe *beeeeeep*
Did you ever wonder what it would be like to be a ghost? Did you ever imagine a day when you would be standing in front of your own gravestone, with the wind blowing the hair that poked out of your jacketās hood, the trees howling in the distance on a dreary day? Was it necessary for the day you came face to face with your haunting past to be dismal? If I went by the books, then it had to be so.
I sighed and bent down and brushed some dust off of my foot marker. On the headstone it read, āHere lies Natalie Thompson, daughter, sister, and friendā¦ā They forgot about murderer. I stood up and tugged my hood a little more around my face. Three years have gone by now. My father, my mother, and my brother all rest here in this graveyard that I finally worked up the guts to visit. Seems like Iām the only company they have had in a while. Iām the only one alive left to give a damnā¦ and Iāve been frightened, guilt ridden, and chased away to the point that I havenāt been able to. Not until now. I havenāt been able to cry until now either.
In the wind and the fall air my tears felt like burning ice as they dripped down my cheeks. I sniffled and wiped an arm across my face to get rid of them. It was so stupid, the thing that brought me here. I was cruising the night spots with my new friend, Conner, having a good time hitting up some bars, hitting on some girlsā¦ well at least Conner was. Through the crowd I heard someone call a name, Natalie, and turned my head to look. Youād think I would have heard the name before now. Itās not exactly a common name, but itās not an unusual one. I stared as a girl came running up to one of her friends and embraced her with a hug.
āHey Nate, what is it man?ā Connerās voice broke my daze and brought me back to the room.
āNothing,ā I mumbled, and took a sip of my drink. āJust thought I heard someone calling me is all.ā
I fell to my knees and put my head in my hands. Was it Natalie that was calling me? I just wanted to lay down on the grave and die right here and thereā¦ Thatās what was running through my mind. My body would merge with the ground and meld together with the soul I left buried beneath it. Then, maybe, I could finally be at peace.
There was the sound of gravel moving in the distance and my ears perked. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a black car pulling into the cemetery. I stood up slowly, making sure my face was turned slightly away from whoever it was. I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked in the other direction, sharply but slowly, my head lowered, like a distraught person who could no longer stand the grief of losing their loved one, when in reality I could have stayed there and wallowed in my grief and mourning for all eternity. What else does a ghost have to do?
_______________________________________________________________________
The train ride back to my new roost was bumpy, but I managed to sleep with my head against the window for most of the way.
Right now I was living a good two and a half hours away from my hometown. Itās not that far when you think about itā¦ but there seemed to be some distance that I couldnāt cross before being pulled back towards the security of familiarityā¦ if that makes any sense.
My good friend Conner was letting me room with him, in a loft above his uncleās video store. He got me a job there working in the back storeroom. Most of the time I just sat there lazily chewing bubble gum and reading magazines.
āConner!ā I shouted, as I came through the front door of the loft and took off my shoes and threw them on the floor. āLetās go out tonight!ā There was no answer. I peeked my head around into his bedroom. There was no one there. He must have gone out without meā¦ Well I didnāt expect him to sit around all day and do nothing while I went out to mope.
I quirked my mouth to the side before the realization that I was alone finally hit me. I did a fist pump in front of me, multiple times. This meant romantic comedies, girly magazines, candy and lodes of it, everything that I needed to get over a sad day and I could have itā¦ because I was alone and hell yeah I was going to enjoy it. First, I needed some cash to go buy some junk food, but I spent most of mine on train fareā¦ I was sure Conner wouldnāt mind me borrowing some and returning it.
I went into his room and reached up into the top of his closet, scavenging around for the plastic jar I knew he kept his money stash it. My hand hit something and it fell to the floor, a plastic bag with tiny white pills inside. I gulped. Probably just some pain relievers or somethingā¦ sure. Like hell I would believe that. Something didnāt feel right.
I grabbed my jacket and the money that I finally found and rushed out into the oncoming night. The heavy metal hinges squeaked as I went out the back door of the video store and the door slammed closed behind me. I stopped, inhaled and wriggled my fingers as I realized that I had forgotten my keys. I spun around and jiggled the door handle. Dammit, I was locked out. I kicked the door with my foot and then hobbled backwards, yowling out obscenities like a sailor.
āYou!ā Someone shouted from the end of the alley. I whipped my head around to look at whoever it was that had the nerve to call me You. A guy with a faux-hawk, patting a wooden baseball bat against his palm, and three other dudes that I could care less about. Faux-hawk dude smirked, āAre you an affiliate of Conner?ā
āDamn, did you just use the word affiliate?ā I said sarcastically and grinned. āWell aināt you the educated bastard.ā My smile faded. āNow what do you want?ā I said coldly. āCanāt you see Iām doing something?ā
āWhat are you doing?ā
āIām locked out of my house, so fucā¦ā Ugh, shitā¦ Why was I so stupid?
āYour house?ā His eyes widened and he looked down on me like he was talking to a child. āI thought you werenāt an affiliate of Connerā¦ Would you happen to know where your little pal went? Someone we know would like to have a word with him.ā
I held my hands out in front of me. āHonestly man, I have no clue. Do I look like the dudeās babysitter?ā
āNo, you donāt look like his Nana,ā he said, ābut youāll get the message across just fine.ā Suddenly, he swung the baseball bat towards my head, I ducked just in time for it to brush across a few strands of my hair. āWhen he finds you in the alley, heāll know what he has to do. So just sit still and take it like a man twerp.ā
Take it like a man, yeah right. I charged at him and sent my elbow into his chin, while his head snapped backwards I smoothly glided underneath his arm and headed towards the brick wall. All I had to do was get past them and then I was safe. Two of his friends came towards me. I jumped before one could lay their hands on me, pushed off of his shoulder and drove him into the wall. Using the momentum and the lift I got from his friend, I kicked the other one in the face with my heel.
I stumbled as I landed on the ground. When I stood back up, the fourth one caught me around the neck with his left arm. He used his right fist to drive a punch into my stomach that made me heave. Then another one that made my eyes water. I bit down on his nasty arm and tasted blood in my mouth. I wasnāt sure if it was mine or his at this point. His grip loosened on me and I managed to slip out of his clutch. In front of me was the sidewalk and the street, open to run to. I was ready to sprint towards it, but was shaky. I hesitated.
Someone caught the back of my shirt with their hand. āLet me go youā¦,ā I couldnāt choke out the last word as something slammed into my back and made my knees bend. I fell forward onto the ground as faux-hawk dude stood before my blurry eyes with his bat over his shoulder. He brought it down on my side this time.
āDonāt worry kid,ā he assured me, his eyes angry and bloodshot, āweāre just going to rough you up a bit is all.ā
Thatās the last thing I remember before everything went black.
Night in the city wasnāt beautiful. I feared the creatureās of the night much more here than what I did the creatureās that lived in the forest behind my home. I gazed up as the buildings above me spun in circles. Sirens, cars, and alarms pierced my mind and made me want to cry. Wait, was I crying? I couldnāt move my mouth, I think my lip was busted. It was hard to blink too, and was my nose broken? It hurt enough to just breath, much less try to move. Maybe if I just laid there long enough, someone would come to take me away. You couldnāt see them very well because of the city lights, but there were stars out that night. Spinning along with everything else spun up in my beaten head.
I know Iāll probably sound like Iām experiencing a bad trip right now if I start talking about extraterrestrials and other worlds, and stupid things you see on the sci-fi channel, but did you ever look up at the night sky and see the stars move? Do you know the stars are always moving? Well, okay the stars arenāt moving, but just our view of them. When I was little, I used to stare up at the stars for hours. Though their movement was so miniscule, I swear I could see them slowly creeping around the sky. It was then that I convinced myself that we were not alone in this universe, and that those stars were indeed aliens driving around in their little space carsā¦ And I had felt so smart for spending the time, looking up at those stars to figure it all out, I thought I deserved a medal. Or, if not a medal, at least a little thank you from our green friends above, for finally taking notice of them. And during times when this world felt like too much for me to handle, they could at least do me a favor and beam me up and take me away.
Weird how right now I couldnāt even wish for that. If you could believe the irony that at the very same moment a giant beam of light descended from the heavens and caught the whole world on fire, in an event that would be the end of life as we know it, I was wishing my little green friends would shoot me with their death ray and just end it all insteadā¦ well maybe youāre experiencing a very bad trip too. Please, let this be a bad trip.