The truckās headlights were off, the tall, black tires settled against the darker asphalt, the monster sitting still in the cool night air. It was big and red; the colour muted by the night and the lack of streetlamps on the stretch of road. It had been sitting still for nearly thirty minutes, now, and it was fast approaching a time when the person inside would long be investigated for loitering in any other setting.
But not in this one.
Inside the cabin, two pale hands gripped the steering wheel, parked at ten and two, illuminated only by the small digital clock that was embedded within the truckās dash. The time read 3:15, and the inky darkness that surrounded the hands had the betting money on the AM. The hands were shaking slightly, the white-knuckled clenching making the hardened leather creak beneath the soft skin. Above the twin hands was a ghost-white face tinged green, beard covering the jaw, teeth grit between trembling lips.
He looked like a ghost. Which was apt, considering that this town had haunted him enough.
The manās eyes were sunken into his skull, the gaze itself wide and alert, staring at a neon green sign that glinted in the moonlight, white lettering and numbers against the glare of the luminescent paint. A breath exploded from his lips, coming out in a deep hiss, rattling his vision and tightening his grip. As he sat there, in the dark, his hands clenched around leather, he imagined them gripped against his palms, one of his teeth hurting, his eyes on red numbers as a buzzer sounded. He imagined the feel of his stomach dropping, as if he were on a roller coaster, flying down that very first hill. He imagined the crowdās silence, his shoes squeaking against a court floor as his heavy limbs take him away from the scene of his failures.
Heād been a god, once.
With a deft flick of his wrist, the burgundy beast roared back to life, headlights flashing on the sign as the car began trembling, growling with anticipation of moving forwards again. As the tires turned, crunching the loose gravel beneath rubble, the white text on the neon green flashing in the corner of his eye as he roared past it.
WELCOME TO JAYTON
POPULATION: 2,911
His grip never loosened, tired eyes never closed, and back never slouched. William Alexander Grace had claimed, with finality, that he was done with the town heād called home, for too many reasons to count. Heād moved a state over, started over, began the tedious project of scrubbing his memories clear.
And now heād come home.
-----
The dinner table was completely silent that day, no conversation to be had among the members of the Grace family. The only noises that came from the room was the scraping of metal against plates, the occasional scratching of a chair against linoleum floors. Three of the five members of the Grace family were eating normally, albeit a bit slower than their usual pace underneath the swaying chandeliers of the ornately decorated dining room. At the head of the table sat William Grace Senior, his big hands folded in front of him, towering over all others in the room. His sterling silver hair and grey eyes combined to make a formidable, down turned expression. People who met William often spoke of his frowns with equal parts awe and fear; if William was unhappy, then the entire room around him was leeched of joy right alongside him.
Though the youth across the table denounced everything his father did, the one thing that he couldn't really escape was DNA. William Grace Junior had the same jawset, same narrowed eyes, and the same thunderous frown as his father, without a grain of doubt. The frown was especially potent; changing the atmosphrere quickly, making it thick with his anger and bitterness.
Naturally, when father and son glared at each other, the room seemed to come alive with heat. The other members of the Grace family ate quietly and quickly when these standoffs occured, which was far too frequent for anyone's liking.
William wiped his dry lips with a napkin, his spine ramrod straight as he spoke.
"So no scholarship."
The words were not a surprise to anyone; William Grace hadn't exactly made his fury about Alex's failing grades a secret. But Alex had yet to hear the words himself. He too wiped his dry lips with his napkin, and lounged in his chair, one arm tossed over the back of the wood carelessly.
"Nope."
The casual tone had the desired effect; the stern gaze he had been receiving heated to a glower, the poignancy of his father's anger sending a sort of thrill through him. It had been like this for years. The junior would needle the senior, poking holes in his careful visage until the man of he household finally snapped. It was a dance; a delicate tango that they had been engaged in since Alex reached adolescence. The napkin reached the older manās lips once more, swiping at them in a rough, violent manner.
āYou truly donāt deserve my name, do you. How many times have we had this conversation.ā
āKeep preaching, William.ā
āYou have no spine, do you? I truly wonder if someone else was responsible for your birth. No son of mine would stoop so low. Weāve been supportive; weāve been there for you even when you decided that this silly game of yours was more important to you than your actual grades.ā
āSilly?ā Alex rose a brow, picking up his butter knife and tapping it upon the oak table, where ancestors of the Grace family past were carved into the wood. There were hundreds of names, the table being as old as the house itself. His brothers had carved their names in the wood when they were sixteen years old.
He hadnāt been offered. He hadnāt been asked.
āIāve put up with your silly bullshit since I was fourteen, William. Yet here we are.ā
āDonāt talk to me like that, boy. Do not tap your knife on the table.ā
The knifeās motion stopped, Alexās gaze holding his fatherās, indifference shifting to fit his expression.
āThank you,ā the man said. Rising from the table, his fingers rested on the edge, he stared at his son. Alex glanced to his left, to see his family had fled long ago. Such as it always was. Whenever William got angry, he found himself alone against the onslaught.
It had made him strong.
āIāve had enough of you, boy. You are no longer welcome in this house unless you make changes. You will get a job, you will work throughout the summer to support yourself, and you will go to university ā for a business, a trade ā something that will prevent you from coming to this house every day and spending four hours in that driveway with that rubber ball. Further, you will ā stop tapping that knife.ā
Alex had risen by this point, too, his hard stare reaching his fatherās. Years upon years of unresolved conflict simmered to the brim, threatening to boil over as thunderous frown met aloof glance, the soft [/i]tap tap tap[/i] of metal on wood slowing, and then fading as the boy raised an eyebrow.
Breathing deeply, William Senior continued. āI have given you many graces, boy. I have put up with your blathering and supposed dreams of becoming the best at a game that has little to know business sense in this world. I have pandered to your requests, I have spoiled you, and now youāve forced my hand. I will no longer tolerate you as an unproductive member of this household. You will shape up, or you will ship ā stop!ā
Alex stopped the tapping again, before flipping the knife in his grip so that the point was facing the table directly, and slammed his fist into the oak. The knife pierced the āOā in Horace Grace, biting deep. Without looking for his fatherās reaction, Alex began slamming the knife down again. Again, and again he hit the wood, the knife bending slightly and warping beneath the force of his arm and the sturdy dinner table. He didnāt hear his father flying around the room, didnāt hear the dishes jumping and clanging together with the force of his assault, he just continued cutting up Horaceās name until there was nothing but a lighter shade of wood.
He was pushed backwards roughly, his reflexes keeping him on his feet as he backpedaled, now facing the burly, tall frame of Mr. Grace, rushing him like a bull. Alex backed out of the dining room, slamming the door on his father as he moved. Words came unbidden as he moved through the kitchen, navigating by memory, flinging obstacles in his fatherās path so that the older manās knees hit chairs and tables, sending them scattering in his charge.
āWhatāre you going to do, dad? Hit me? Go on and beat your kid, dad. Itās never worked before, dad, so why would it work now? Keep yelling, dad, I donāt think the neighbours can hear you yet.ā
Out the door they went, down the pathway and past the hoop that heād built when he started an interest in Basketball. Without the obstacles, however, the distance between the two was closed with frightening agility. To keep his son from backing away further, Williamās hand was gripping at Alexās shirt, his other grabbing at the sonās junction of shoulder and neck, squeezing with both hands in a vice-like grip. Hauling the boy closer, ignoring the lights flicking on in their neighbourhood, William shook his son.
āGet out. Get out and donāt come back. Donāt you ever come back!ā
Alex gripped his fatherās wrists, and growled out the side of his mouth.
āWith pleasure.ā
--
It was strange to be driving through the old town, in the same truck heād had as a boy, with no radio, no raucous passengers, no lights or busy streets. Jayton had shrunk, it seemed, since heād left all those summers ago. Driving on dark streets, flicking the turn signal at the stop sign that he and Jerry Marston raced at in the ninth grade, passing the bleachers whereā¦ memories existed, past the big dark house that held a lot of pleasant and unpleasant recollections of parties and dancing and bad decisions. It seemed that back then, every decision heād made was a bad one in the eyes of many people, not just the ones behind his closed doors. The upside to this, however, was that all of his skeletons werenāt in closets; everyone had known about them, known that Alex Grace had been trouble for their sons and daughters, sisters and brothers. Heād been the one that had the āstuffā though.
Himā¦ and Allie.
Thoughts of the girl drove him towards the beach, where he parked in the darkness, getting out of his truck as soon as the wheels stopped rolling. Stooping to unlace his work boots and slip out of his socks, he walked along the beach head, his toes curling in the cool sand, squinting towards the inky black ocean lapping thirstily at the land around it. The sounds of the ocean soothed him as he sat, in the exact spot that him and Allie had encountered one another. He still remembered the grainy feel of the sand on his back, biting at his elbows as the two embraced. Leaning backwards, Will turned his gaze star-ward, remembering that he lay exactly like this ā sans clothes ā as Allie left.
Thoughts of Allie immediately turned to thoughts of a far more innocent ā and far less sultry ā girl. A girl that he had ruined with his advances, with his incessant pushing. That moment was hard and cool, bleachers glinting under starlight beneath his rear as he pressed closer to her, forcing a kiss she wasnāt ready for.
He scrubbed at his eyes with the palm of his hands, wiping away the bleary eyes that this town always gave him. Eventually, heād need to rise and go back to his truck, drive barefoot to the hotel, and drag himself to bed. But since it didnāt open until six ā unless Maurice had changed in the years, something that he didnāt find likely ā he had some time to drown himself in memories before he had to drown himself in sleep, get nice and ready for a few days of reading and writing. In his bag was a backpack, a laptop inside. Heād brought his work with him, intending to hide away for a couple of days before he well and truly jumped into theā¦ purpose for his visit.
Heād need to face the memories, at one point. For now, however, he was content to lie there.
He was content to watch the stars.
--
At his cubicle, William Grace was halfway through calculating the distance between two telephone poles when he received a tap on the shoulder. When he spun in his wheeled, high back chair to face his boss, the look on her face was one of such deep sorrow that he had to do a double take. Jessica and him had become close over the past four years, something that he was especially grateful for since he had very little work experience to begin with. But sheād let him work as a contractor, at first, and then a surveyor of telephone poles, work that heād found surprisingly enjoyable.
Every once and a while, he got to play her therapist. Already he was slipping into the role, about to offer up a sympathetic āYou okay?ā before she handed him a letter.
With his name on the front.
He took the envelope, noting the address written in neat, red ink, pressed into the paper so hard that it was actually crinkled around the edges of the letters. His thumb ran across the seal as he looked up at her questioningly, the envelope rotating in his hands. She sighed out, a deep, painful noise.
āIām so sorry, Will.ā
He straightened in his chair, suddenly uncomfortable. āSorry for what?ā He paused, lifting the envelope with one hand. āWhat is this, Jess?ā
āA man showed up today. He said he was your brother ā Jacob?ā At his nod, Jess continued. āHe gave me that, and told me about the newsā¦
There was something accusatory in her tone, something that didnāt fit the situation. As he opened his mouth to ask her what was up, she answered for him. āWhy didnāt you tell me your father had passed?ā
The wind left his lungs, and his whole body jerked, his hands reaching out to grip the desk around him, steadying himself. In the pit of his stomach, something tightened, turned icy, and refused to break away from his gut. He felt like acid was assaulting his veins, and for thirty terrifying seconds, the room spun.
The feeling faded just as his eyes met Jessicaās, realization clear in her blue orbs.
āI didnāt know until just now.ā He confirmed, tearing open the envelope. He read over the contents, skimming the summarization of the will before folding the pages. Jess was talking, something about his brother not coming in to tell him himself, and he interrupted her mid-sentence.
āJess, can I have a few weeks off?ā
Her mouth clamped shut, and her eyes softened. āYouāre still owed a month from last year, the month you never took. Are you going to his funeral?ā
Will shook his head, lifting the page at her. āAlready happened. I just need toā¦ā he paused, searching for the words. āI need to go home.ā He said, with finality.
And he did. Heād put this off for five years; the confrontation, the final words with his parents (or parent. God, his dad was dead) and a single, last drive around his town.
She was shaking her head. āOkay, yeah. Take a month off; more if you need it. But weāll need you to do some remote work for us. The construction crew is working into the weekend, but after this week theyāll need another job to keep everything floating. We need your designs quickly.ā
āYouāll get them.ā
She squeezed his shoulder, red nails biting into fabric, and met his eyes square on. āIām here if you need me, Will.ā She said, her voice soft.
Her eyes said come over tonight and lean on me in equal parts sensual and friendly. He felt oddly uncomfortable by the gesture, the inappropriateness of the timing.
āWill do.ā He said, and she nodded firmly, giving his shoulder one last squeeze before walking back to her office. For once, he didnāt watch her leave.
Instead, he hopped on the internet, and began searching gas fare and distances and hotel rooms. When the browser asked for his destination, he jabbed at the letters with a single, violent finger.
J-A-Y-T-O-N.
-----
Driving through the streets, the purr of his truck a welcome vibration beneath his rear, Will thought back towards his old life, and a boy named Alex. The boy had been violent and unruly, breaking a girl he shouldāve saved, missing a shot he shouldāve made, and yelling at a man he shouldāve been telling that he loved. As he gripped the steering wheel harder, he thought of his List, the piece of paper that was folded and tucked into the space where his laptop pressed against his messenger bag. On the list were ten points written with mechanical pencil, ten things that he needed to do before leaving here. His extended vacation would be spent writing Alexās wrongs, burying the boy from haunting him.
It was time for the memory of Alex to be choked out.
It was time for Will to rise from the ashes.
And, despite the daunting task ahead of him, despite the constant wincing at moments in the past and the streets he couldnāt drive down yet because of the pain he felt, despite the list of people in this town who wouldāve surely liked to have been given the rope and a sturdy tree on which he would be able to hang, William Grace smiled.
Despite all of thatā¦
It was good to be home.
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