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by Amberly on Tue Nov 01, 2005 11:19 pm
So here I was. In a nice WHITE office. Ever notice how that color seems to follow me around? why doen't these people get some frikin' blue up in here? Or even...*shivers*...Pink.
Nurse Nakia: Doctor Blitz will se you now Amberly.
he-he, thanks.
Oh my God! i'm such a loser! I can't believe I still get nervous see a doctor! Hell I work with them....nevermind, that may be a cause for discomfort. But I've been seeing this doctor for eight years! How can I possibly be nervous!?!?!
Nurse Nakia: Still nervous about seeing Blitz even after eight years huh?
Yeah, amybe a little. It's not like we get anywhere anyways.
Nurse Nakia: I know, I know, but maybe you will have better luck this time.
sigh...Lets hope so, I'm really getting tired of paying this bill.
I could hear her laughing as she I opened the door to the left of the secretary's station. I followed the long hallway, knowing my way to his office.....or rather my favorite of his offices, by heart. doctor Blitz believed that diffrent settings trigured the memoery. I just liked the Hawaii pattern.
Lets see room 202...204....ah! 206!
I stood facing the door. It was the solid, oaky gateway to my possible memories....or absolute pain. take your pick. I prefer the second one. I grasped the cool bronze handle, my skin feeling chilled by both the coolness of the handle and my own nervousness. Taking a deep, deep, really deep breath, I walked pushed over the door and walked in.
Blitz: Amberly, my girl! great to see you! sit down, sit down! Haven't gotten into any trouble latley have we!? Well of course not! Your a sigma phi student! SIGMA PHI! When I was your age I could only dream of such an opportunity! Don't be shyy girl, take a peice f pinapple if you like! after all we are like family! ha ha ha ha.
And this is why I hate coming here. Can the man talk any faster? Well hey he did say have some pinapple. Can you believe out of all the questions he asked me he didn't even wait for me to answer one before continuing?
The "Hawaii room" was a hugh room. On the north side there was a gigantic window that looked out to the rolling hills of Minnesota. The Interior was Bamboo panneling with palm leaves covering them making a sort of makeshift wallpaper. Pictures of Hula girls and palm trees and dimondhead proudly adorned the walls. There were palm trees....and I mean REAL palm trees lining the walls. And the floor....if you could believe this.....was glass and at the bottom of the floor was a pool so that it looked like we were in the middle of the ocean. His desk and the "Chair" were on an island, that was also adorned with palm trees. A bit of an enthusist? I think so.
Blitz: You know the standard procedure. On the cahir now Amberly, on the chair. Ah thats a good girl! Now, let start off by you telling me what you have been able to remember. go on, go on! Let's hear it now!
"Good girl"?! I could swear that a vein was popping out of the side of my head, and i could feel the frown on my face. I wont get mad, Ikept chanting to myself. I will NOT get mad. Just calmly tell him what you rememebr.
Absolutly nothing.
Blitz: Ah Well! Hopefully this sessin you will remember something. you have been doing your exercises, right? Ah well of course you have! your a Sigma Phi student after al. I'm sure you know the importance of doing EXACTLY what your doctor tells you. Hum de Dum de Hum.
Shoot me please God! He's frikin' humming! As for his exercises I wouldn't do it even if it was the only way to get my memories back! His "exercises" invloved playing with dolls, singing in thw shower (an dI'm a HORRIBLE SINGER) and - worst of all - watching childrens muscles. I Shudder at the thought! Although I am a little miffed at the way he sid Exactly, as if he is implying something.
Yes sir, Doctor blitz. I have been doing my execises everyday.
Blitz: Ah good good. Now lets lok at some pictures again shall we? We Shall!
He's skipping to his desk! He's freaking skipping to his desk? What kind of man...scratch that.....doctor....scrath that too...THING skips to it's desk?!?!
Blitz: Here we go! Now lets start!
Thirty Minutes later....
Blitz: Are these pictures bring back any memories at all? Any at all come? Come one now! Speek up! Tut tut tut!
Why yes doctor Blitz, these bring up memoreis of LAST WEEK!!!
Blitz: touchy touchy! Well I have one last picture for you. hopefully this is the one.
Ok so I was a bit miffed. Who wouldn't be? I just need to calm down. there's only twenty minutes left in the session. twently amazingly lone minutes. But...what's with that sly look on doctor Blitz face?
Blitz: Here you go Amberly. This...this is the one I think.
He Held up a picture of a doll. but i wasn't just any doll. It had a dirty face, and no eyes. Almost like the eyes had been carved out. The clothes were all crumpled and ripped....no to mention a bit ancient looking. Almost like if you touched them they would desenegrate beneath your fingers. And there was a hugh.....cut across her neck, almost like some one had tried to cut it off. and the Doll was familiar....
suddently the room went absolutly cold. My vision became blurry and all I could hear was doctor Blitz calling my name. But someone else was calling my name to...and it wasn't....it wasn't meant for me to hear.
My viosn changed and I was seeing a littl girl sittin gon the floor. the child couldn't have been more than three years old. And in her hands was the doll that doctor blitz had shown me in his office. The child was dirty and barly clothed on the floor. all she was wearing was ripped, red t-shirt that hing off her shoulders. I could see cuts, scrapes, welts and dry blood on her legs and when the shirt sundently slipped off her shoulder, I could see a gigantic bloody scar that was on her shoulder....the same exact scar I had on my back only it was healed. the child I realized, was me.
Long curly red locks fell down my shoulder and uncontrolled tears were streaming down my face as I brushed the clump og hiar that the doll had. In the background harsh yelling could b heard and when a mand voice stated yelling, the little me began to cry harder.
Mans voice: F*** you woman! It's your fault!! You brought that nastly little thing into this world! If you hadn't have given birth to her then I could have a happy life right now.
Womane voice: your the one who had to go and stick it here B******! Why don't you just get rid of her! Get rid of her and then go to one of your whores! I'm sure they wont mind the fact that your a married man once she's gone!
Mans voice: Dam right b*****!
a Loud slp was heard, and then the womans screams. Im sure that the child me had no idea what was going on all. All she knew was that mommy and daddy were talking about her and they didn't want her. Terrible, eerie screams filled the air. Than an unexpected girggeling sound could be heard before a dead eerie silence took over. and of possible, when the silence came, the child began to cry harder. Something bad was coming.
Loud, thuderous foot prints cmae down the hall and the child began to shake. I watched the child me as she got up and dropped the doll and ran to hid behind the couch that was to her left.
Mans voice: AMBERLY!!! AMBERLY WHERE ARE YOU!? COME OUTHERE YOU STUPID BRAT!
I watched myself shake and the tears soak my face, carrying away dirt and sedement with it. I could feel the fear that enetrated my young heart and I could taste the pungent animosity that filled the space between the man and the child. Betwen daughter and father.
Mans voice: AMBERLY!!!! GET OUT HERE YOU LITTLE B****!
Shakingly the child came from her hiding place, fearing that if she didnt, things would be worse for her. Slowly, with tears filling her little eyes she ran to her father on shaky limbs. Little malnutritioned legs struggeling to carry her to her tormentor...the person who was suppose to be the protector.
the younger me looked down at her feet, her hands clasped together as she tried to control her trembeling in vain. Her lipps quivered and her tiny heart pounded against her thin ribs, feeling as if it would break free. Oh how the child wished her heart would just stop.
Mans voice: LOOK AT ME BRAT!
The child looked up at her father, staring into the same green eyes that she herself posessed and seeing the same red hair that she too had inherited. I looked straight at my father, my twin, the man I was replica of. Then I slapped me, my tiny body flying across the room and crashing into the wall. I could feel bones crack, and I could see as the child fell out of conciousness, falling into a trama induced sleep to the last word of her father:
Man: I can't stant to look at you.
Then as soon as it began, the memory ended. My vison was coming back and I once again found myself back in doctor Blitz's office. I could feel the etars streaming down my face, and the fear that I felt so long ago as a child pounding in my heart. I looked up to see docotr Blitz face. His eyes held a look of pain and....apoligetiness. then he said the most bitter-sweet words ever spoken in the history of man kind.
Blitz: Congradualtions, you have seen your first memory.
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