Bullshit that society tells us

sweetreverbs · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **sweetreverbs** on Fri Dec 21, 2012 1:34 am

Slut shaming is defined as the act of making someone, usually a woman, feel guilty or inferior, for engaging in certain sexual behaviors that violate traditional gender expectations. I used to use the word slut to describe what I perceive to be home wreckers but slut shaming often turns into victim blaming. Until the 1970s rape was not really acknowledged or talked about. Rape culture is becoming more and more prevalent in society. This started coming to my attention during this election when religious, conservative, male candidates started speaking out about rape. "I've struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize that life is that gift from God," said former GOP candidate Richard Mourdock. "And even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen." "Well you know, people always want to try to make that as one of those things, well how do you, how do you slice this particularly tough sort of ethical question. First of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." said Congressman Todd Atkin. From a young age girls are taught to cover our bodies, to avoid going places alone, to stay on guard. Don't you think that society should be teaching men not to rape girls instead of teaching girls to not get raped? Especially in cases of date rape I often hear the ignorant remark "she was asking for it". It doesn't matter if we put on thigh-high f--k-me boots with five-inch stiletto heels, slather our naked bodies in baby oil and then teeter and drip our way down fraternity row on a Saturday night WE ARE NEVER ASKING TO GET RAPED. Girls we have to stand up to this bullshit by letting people know we are not going to hide our bodies, smile, act dumb, lie, or be silent for anyone. Everything you do, do for yourself and you are not going to let anyone laugh at you, abuse you, rape you, or harass you anymore because you are a girl and us girls are not afraid anymore. And no I am not a)paranoid b)a man-hater c)worrying about this too much d) taking this TOO seriously.

Colonel_Masters · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Colonel_Masters** on Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:57 pm

I think you should better state what do you intend to have discussed on this thread, This statement while interesting and can be used as a basis for debate and discussion is just that; a statement.

This is the discussion area and ideally that is what this area is intended for, I would like to have a discussion here about this subject but I feel that I should wait for you to state exactly the question you want to bring up for discussion.

I am quite a feminist in my way of thought, sometimes so much so that I get pissed off at girls who behave in a way less then befitting a gender equal society. I agree with you that there is a problem and that by all accounts as an uplifted species we should be able to be at least equal to our basic instincts with our ability for rational, civilized and moral behavior.

But unfortunately as a species we are not, I could blame this all day long on the extreme sides of religion that repress women as equal human beings to any man and the current modern pop society which is in my opinion highly primitive and immoral.

However its not really due to these problems because something else is responsible for those problems, Humans while well beyond what most animals are able to accomplish with their minds are still animals.

It takes in my opinion strong willed people to think beyond their basic instincts and thankfully humanity has a fairly large number of such people however not nearly enough to get over the barbaric principles of religions and practices which encourage this kind of behavior.

I do not seek to change other people because i have a lot to do with myself first however i practice a Moralist view of life and behave in a somewhat chaste way. I treat people for the people they are and not for whatever characteristics of body they may posses, I treat women the same as i would treat men and I have always done so even in in the 1st-3 grade period in which girls are considered by boys as "enemies" XD

sweetreverbs · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **sweetreverbs** on Fri Dec 21, 2012 4:38 pm

You do not have to be "strong willed" in order not to rape someone. My main point was society tells us that it's the woman's responsibility to not get raped not the man's responsibility to not rape girls. Those who claim they "couldn't control themselves" because they are sex addicts are feeding us bullshit because rape is not a sex crime it is about power and preying on those they see as vulnerable in order to feel dominate. I posted this under the debate section because it is a highly controversial topic and I think that by posting it, it will challenge people's ignorance and perceptions. After reading this and you still can't understand the importance of what I am trying to argue against here are some videos I found on youtube in reply to Jenna Marble's video "things I don't understand about girls slut edition" which are really really good at addressing this issue in a simple, clear, informative way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzB_O_B7 ... e=youtu.be
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l3h8fzv ... e=youtu.be

dealing with it · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **dealing with it** on Fri Dec 21, 2012 9:01 pm

"rape is not a sex crime"?

Care to elaborate?

Colonel_Masters · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Colonel_Masters** on Fri Dec 21, 2012 10:45 pm

Thank you for clarifying the topic of discussion, While this is still rather confusing due to the lack of a centered question of debate its now possible to comment in an orderly way. Due to my lack of understanding of this topic i raised my views on the problems with making gender equality in society work.

I still don't exactly understand the subject but I would like to clarify that I do not think that the excuse not in control over actions when dealing with rape is even remotely acceptable. A rape is a rape and in a civilized society which isn't selling itself out to religious extremism a rape should always be treated as a rape.

Nilas · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Nilas** on Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:20 pm

The initial post in this thread strongly implies that rape is widely considered the fault of the victim. This is a preposterous claim and completely untrue.

While certain people will indeed claim that a rape victim was 'asking for it' or dressed in such a way as to 'deserve it', these are a fringe group of ignorant morons. The vast majority of society is fully aware of whose fault it is - the perpetrator's.

In reference to the point made about reasons for committing rape, a true sex addict, like any other addict, will do whatever they can to fulfil their addiction. If that addiction is sex, they will do anything to get sex; even to the point of forcing it on someone else. It isn't bullshit in and of itself, but I'm sure plenty of rapists try to pull that card as an 'insanity plea' of sorts to reduce sentences upon conviction.

Similarly, rape is intrinsically a sex crime. To suggest otherwise is ridiculous. Sure, it can indeed be about 'the hunt' and gaining a sense of dominance but this isn't always the case. I'd be interested in knowing why you think it isn't a sex crime.

You may have noticed that so far I haven't specified the sex of victims and perpetrators. This has been quite deliberate as rape can be committed by both men and women, involving both sexes or just one. The severity of both physical and psychological damage isn't worsened or lessened depending on the sex of the victim. However, statistically speaking (which doesn't mean it is fact), rape victims are much more likely to be women and perpetrators men. Also, often, victims will be young. Which brings me to refute one of the first claims made by sweetreverbs.

I entirely agree that women should completely be allowed to act and dress how they please without fear of sexual assault, but life is unfortunately life, and for young women to take steps to prevent being raped (though these pieces of advice aren't a guarantee, of course) is common sense. Is checking for cars before crossing the street a ridiculous notion as well, another dosage of bullshit society tells us? Get real.

VindicatedPurpose · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **VindicatedPurpose** on Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:40 pm

Equal parts of precaution and prevention are needed. Just as drivers are cautioned to slow down in neighborhoods for pedestrians, while pedestrians are cautioned to look both ways, likewise should be applied to the crime of rape. I agree with the idea that men should maintain their inhibitions just as women are to take steps to prevent being raped.

Jag · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Jag** on Sat Dec 22, 2012 11:06 am

I completely disagree with the premise urged by the post, essentially "boys aren't taught not to rape girls." That is completely untrue in every facet of society I have experienced. Further, the law provides protection to avoid the "the girl was asking for it" defenses in cases of rape. Rape shield laws prevent someone from attempting to bring forth evidence of an alleged victim's sexual history specifically to prevent people from trying to do such things.

Shi-chan · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Shi-chan** on Sat Dec 22, 2012 12:39 pm

A while ago I read a debate on a newspaper website, which kind of dealt with the same subject of this thread. It wasn't about rape or whose fault rape is, instead it was a woman who told the story of how she "lost" her virginity at the age of fourteen. According to her, she was at a party with a number of her friends, some of them older boys. She had for a long been felt sexually frustrated, and so, when one of these younger boys passed out in the hallway, she took her chance and used him as a tool to take her own virginity.

All the women in the thread were telling her that she was a strong, independent woman, and praising her, up until some bloke suddenly said, "Hold up. That's rape, that is. He couldn't say no. You did things to him while he couldn't give his consent, and that's wrong, that's illegal!"

People just told him to shut up, because the victim was a man and therefore he's not allowed to complain if something like this happened to him. Apparently, a man cannot get raped by a woman, but had the roles been turned, had it been a young man forcing himself onto a girl, everybody would have been calling the police and turning him in.

I'm not bringing that story up to try and undermine just how big a problem rape is, and how horrible it is. I just thought it added another side to the discussion.

Onto what the debate here is about, saying that a woman is to be blamed for getting raped is like saying that a gunshot victim is at fault for standing where the bullet was aimed at. But then again, I've always been told to watch out for myself. I remember when my friends and I hit our teen years, and our parents would frequently remind us to walk each other halfway home and things like that (We lived very close to each other). This wasn't because we were promiscuous girls, or because we lived in a dangerous neighbourhood, it was simply as a safety measure.

It's a two-way thing, I think. Teach people that rape is not cool, and teach people to watch out for themselves. There should also be made a greater effort to tell victims (no matter their sex or previous sexlife) that when someone assaults them, they need to go to the police and report it, they need to tell their closest family and friends, because it's not their own fault. It's scary that there's so many who's willing to think that they're to blame for getting assaulted.

spayce · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **spayce** on Mon Dec 24, 2012 5:29 am

My friend wrote this post and got permanently banned from the site. :)

ADMINISTRATOR EDIT: The aforementioned user was banned for attempting to evade a temporary ban from the site. The content of this post played no bearing in the disciplinary action.

Bullshit that society tells us

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