Deep Thoughts

Something that I wrote quite a few years back, see how it has evolved and whatnot. Perhaps you can post things that are similar or even comment upon such writings.





I feel that I have to leave all of my memories of the people I have come to know and also of myself. I do this because I hope that when these people and I pass away I want many people to know how my life made me, and how it also made my friends and enemies. When you talk or interact in any way with a person you make ripples throughout their life and your own. Many lives are amazing in their own telling, even my own is a story in itself. What I want to talk about though are the people I know. Everyone I’ve ever trusted, hated, and loved. They are the most important people to me, for without them I would not be who I am today. I have to do this so that I can come to terms with the day I die.

1/2/2008



An update on what I once thought is needed. I no longer require myself to write down all that I feel will be lost to Father Time. Not everything is worth remembering, that said I believe that if there is anything worth remembering, it will be “imprinted” into the memories of the people I have met, made relationships with, or otherwise impacted. If nothing of me is ever remembered in the long run then it was meant to be that way, so be it in other words. In the first paragraph of this document I sounded naïve, too young to understand what I was truly saying. Wisdom and knowledge is passed from one person to the next, and with luck it survives the ages, though that itself is rare. I don’t know if anyone will ever read this, I don’t fully understand why I continue to type such things. Perhaps just to get it off my chest, I don’t know. With this being on a computer though, I doubt that anyone will be able to read it in the future, progression of technology and all that. If nothing I do is worth remembering, then I will not have lived as fully as I would have wished. I would regret it, to put it simply. I wish to live a full life, though I am already late in starting. I’m barely twenty-one years of age and I’m saying this, pathetic. I wish for something, I don’t know what it is yet, but I intend on finding out, or at least trying to. I just wish I could do more, more than what I’m doing now, which isn’t much by the way. Most people want the world to remember their name, I may want the same but not in the ways that many people think. I want to be remembered for something great, maybe even catastrophic. I don’t know much more about myself than almost three years ago, but I do know that I want to be remembered by at least one person that isn’t my family.
12/04/2010 8:50 pm

Hmm, let me give it a shot.


When was it that I woke from my childish dreams into the conformity that is reality? When was it that I began to see that the progression of life is not really progression at all? When was it that I began to long for something more; began feeling that something was missing. Like a puzzle with a missing piece. Sure, you could by the same puzzle again to get that piece and complete the picture, but the puzzle will always be missing a piece. Whether its your puzzle or someone else's. I'm not really sure when anymore. Memories fade and become vague and foggy. I think it might have been when I was younger. Sometime between third and fourth grade. I noticed that the days seemed to run together. I lost track of time as nothing piled upon nothing. Or maybe it was when I noticed my parents never really accomplished anything. Day in and day out it was the same. Get up, go to school, come home, go to bed. Get up, go to school, go to bed. How can that be progression? Yes, time goes by, I get older, and my mundane repetition becomes something else; get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, but it's all still the same. I wonder if that's all their is to life? Just repetition of the same tasks day after day. Am I at the end of nowhere? Is this as good as it gets? I don't think it is. There must be something more than this. Perhaps the answer lies somewhere within that childish dream.

Well it's long....don't know if its good.