Language Development

Lesson 2 (a) i Past tense-
In all her artlessness
She was a slave to indigence.
There was very little perspicuity
To such a young changeling.

Artlessness = innocence
Indigence = poverty
Perspicuity = clarity
Changeling = simpleton

ii Present tense-
There are three words to describe you,
Yes, only three.
You want to know what these trey are?
Hokum, bunkum, and rigmarole.

Trey = three
Hokum = nonsense
Bunkum = nonsense
Rigmarole = nonsense

iii Future tense-
He will feel the lavation of the humus.
It will give him sorely needed vim.
And then, perhaps, when he awakens,
They will all syncretize.

Lavation = cleansing
Humus = soil
Vim = energy
Syncretize = unite

Lesson 2 (b): And said I to the man, being naturally of few words, “Do the red breasted oriels prance upon the vineyard grapes with great gaiety?”

Lesson 2:
a) Sorry Circ, I just couldn't make three poems, goddamn writers block
b) And, said I to the man, being naturally of few words, “Do the red breasted oriels prance upon the vineyard grapes with great gaiety?”

A i. Past Tense Poem

A thick paste you daubed on your face.
A gummy bemire you plastered on to conceal.
Do you think these cosmetics, changed you?
They only deface, who you truly were.

New words: daubed, bemire, cosmetics, deface.

ii. Present Tense Poem

A child so full of alacritious.
Oh to be that pubescent now.
To be free and agrarian.
Oh to be puerile.

New word: Alacritious, pubescent, agrarian, puerile

iii. Future

Abhorrence.
Angst.
Bereavement.
Is this what the morrow holds?

New words: Abhorrence, Angst, Bereavement, morrow

B. And said I to the man, being naturally of few word, “Do the red breasted Oriels prance upon the grapes with great gaiety?”

> Sashay <

Sashay wrote:Lesson 2 (a) i Past tense-
In all her artlessness
She was a slave to indigence.
There was very little perspicuity
To such a young changeling.

Artlessness = innocence
Indigence = poverty
Perspicuity = clarity
Changeling = simpleton

ii Present tense-
There are three words to describe you,
Yes, only three.
You want to know what these trey are?
Hokum, bunkum, and rigmarole.

Trey = three
Hokum = nonsense
Bunkum = nonsense
Rigmarole = nonsense

iii Future tense-
He will feel the lavation of the humus.
It will give him sorely needed vim.
And then, perhaps, when he awakens,
They will all syncretize.

Lavation = cleansing
Humus = soil
Vim = energy
Syncretize = unite

Lesson 2 (b): And said I to the man, being naturally of few words, “Do the red breasted oriels prance upon the vineyard grapes with great gaiety?”

First, let me say thank you for not forcing me to look up the words in the dictionary, and providing the answers. Hopefully, that will also be of benefit to others.

As to the poems, for each one they carried the appropriate tense throughout, and each one used four new words, so you get full credit for the poetry part of the assignment. The only questionable thing I saw was the way you attempted to join the first two lines of the present tense poem, when they are distinct sentences. It seems you should have used a period rather than a comma after describe you. I can’t really complain otherwise, because it is a poem about nonsense. :)

For the comma replacement exercise, you completed it correctly, and will also get full credit for that.

Score: 100/100.

> Yami-Dokuro <

Yami-Dokuro wrote:Lesson 2:
a) Sorry Circ, I just couldn't make three poems, goddamn writers block
b) And, said I to the man, being naturally of few words, “Do the red breasted oriels prance upon the vineyard grapes with great gaiety?”

My dear Yami, at least you got the second part of the assignment mostly correct, and since the wrongness is of a nebulous nature, I will allow you full credit. The lack of effort on the poetry, however, disappoints me.

The part that is incorrect is the comma following the first and, which you will note is absent from Sashay’s answer. The reason for this is that you aren’t using the and as a conjunction, but a declaration, as it begins the sentence, so the comma that would normally serve to isolate logic parts of a sentence is unnecessary.

Score: 25/100.

> Drako11 <

Drako11 wrote: A i. Past Tense Poem

A thick paste you daubed on your face.
A gummy bemire you plastered on to conceal.
Do you think these cosmetics, changed you?
They only deface, who you truly were.

New words: daubed, bemire, cosmetics, deface.

ii. Present Tense Poem

A child so full of alacritious.
Oh to be that pubescent now.
To be free and agrarian.
Oh to be puerile.

New word: Alacritious, pubescent, agrarian, puerile

iii. Future

Abhorrence.
Angst.
Bereavement.
Is this what the morrow holds?

New words: Abhorrence, Angst, Bereavement, morrow

B. And said I to the man, being naturally of few word, “Do the red breasted Oriels prance upon the grapes with great gaiety?”

In your first poem, the comma after cosmetics is unnecessary. So is the one after deface. According to memory and dictionary.com, bemire means to make dirty or muddy, so it doesn’t make contextual sense where you use it. It isn’t mud so much as becoming muddy.

The “to be” in the present tense poem really makes it more of a future tense poem.

The future tense poem is more of a present tense poem, although it is difficult to derive tense from words that describe emotion. If you had put the to in front of these, that would have fit the bill. To feel abhorrence, angst, and bereavement! Is this what the marrow holds?

I am not sure if I should give you points for the final one or not, because while you got the comma-placement correct, you maligned the quote by introducing unnecessary capitalization, amongst other things. Technically, since it is an exercise with commas and I am aware that you did this at the last moment, I suppose I should.

Score: 50/100.

__LESSON THREE__

Write a short essay of approximately 500 words. Show off your vocabulary, style, and witticisms. While the topic can be on anything, I recommend you write on T.S. Eliot’s poetry or short works of fiction, with an analysis of how he manipulates language. This will no doubt take about two or three hours, but I think it will benefit you greatly. Subsequently, a final exam may be made available.

The score you receive on the final will determine your matriculation from this course. Prior lesson scores are to help you assess your progress and have no impact on your ability to graduate, so if you missed a class or did poorly on the assignments, that does not mean you cannot move forward. The grading schedule for the final will be provided concurrently, and the time for completion will be a week from the day of posting.

If you have any questions about your next assignment, please send me a PM as early as possible, as I will be busy preparing for a presentation at my Alma Mater next week. The earlier you contact me, the earlier I can help and provide support.

In the last poem the word is morrow. It had it on Dictionary.com it said it meant Tomorrow. On the quote wouldn't Oriel be capitalized? I mean that is a name of a actual bird so it would be capitalized right?

Would bear or cat be capitalized? They're types of actual mammals, aren't they? Answer: no. A proper noun has to refer to a specific entity, not just a class of entities.

As to morrow, I know what it means. However, you can refer to future events while speaking in the present tense.

Bear and Cat are not a specific breed, Oriel is a specific breed of bird.

Parrot, terrier, poodle, child, female, apple, pineapple, pig, feces. <= nouns.
Bill, Sally, Washington D.C., Illudium Pu-32 Explosive Space Modulator, Fiji apple. <= proper nouns.

Identify the difference for me.

(Hint: an oriel is a type of bird, but not the name of a specific bird).

Due to the difficulty of the latest assignment, I am extending the deadline to Sunday evening, 8:00 p.m., ET.

Role-playing, what is it? We browse this site everyday yet do we know the origins of it? Well, I will now explain a bit of its history.

Role-playing is effectively assuming a role of a character sometimes completely different from themselves. These characters are acted out creating a storyline and character traits and personalities as the role-play progresses. As role-plays flourish and reach new heights role-players can form bonds with the character they are acting out, such bonds are strong enough that you start thinking like that character, feeling what they feel and thus grow as a role-player.

Modern role-playing stems from one of the most popular role-playing games of all time, Dungeons and Dragons, from this rules were created which role-players had to abide by and ways to calculate actions fairly emerged. It wasn't long after this that role-playing in IRC and other chat clients became commonplace eventually leading to many dedicated sites such as this one. But...is this all that role-playing's about, the answer, no, there are many varieties of role-playing, they are up to you to discover.

As a final note, role-playing is no longer merely a game but can be thought of as a test of a persons' manipulation of the English language or as a release from the strains of reality, however you view role-playing just remember one thing, it will never die.

Music is a force that is all around us, yet something that cannot be translated directly like modern languages usually can. For example, as I write this I am listening to the song "Elizabeth" sung by Billy Gilman. I think of saddened hopefulness because I’ve heard the song so many times and know the lyrics by heart. The person sitting next to me thinks of a tender moment because of the melody of the song and the instrumentals in the background as the lyrics come in.

It’s almost like the Bible. No two people can seem to interpret it the same way. Even though the Bible is in a written language, and can be directly translated, people debate the meaning behind the words. The same is true with music, only sometimes there are no words. Sometimes, all you have to go on are what the instrumentalists are performing. Sometimes, when you listen to music, it will be in a language you don’t know at all. Then, even though you have the words before you, you can’t really tell what it’s supposed to be about EXCEPT through the instrumentals.

For example, "Kawaita Sakebi" from Yu-Gi-Oh! is in Japanese, a language I am mostly unfamiliar with. Listening to it, I think of a group of friends having fun together after school, because I recognize it as being related to that series. The person next to me thinks of a slice of life scenario, regular everyday life. Similar, yes, but still, we think different things when presented with the same song.

The lovely thing about music, however, is that you don’t have to be a performer to understand it. You don’t have to know what parallel fifths are, or different key signatures, or even how to read music to enjoy and interpret it. While that sort of knowledge might influence how you choose to decipher it, you don’t have to. Children love music, and with the exception of child prodigies, most of them aren’t exactly big on performing. Point in fact, other than prodigies, most children are horrible at musical endeavors until they gain basic motor skills. That doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy it just as much as adolescents and adults do; they enjoy it just as much, only in a different way.

So, music is something that everyone interprets differently. One song can have an infinite number of interpretations and every single one of them would be right. Even when the composer intends for a song to convey a certain message, the listener might not get that message. They might even get something completely different. The song Elizabeth from the example at the beginning is one such song. It was written about a girl named Elizabeth who was battling against an illness she had had since she was very young, and it talks about her life and what she battled. I interpreted it with that knowledge. The person next to me did not. Does that make his interpretation wrong? Not in the least. It just makes it different, and that is the true beauty of music.

Sorry for not getting back with you Sunday evening. Unfortunately, you'll have to wait for this weekend for me to prepare your final exam and give a more in-depth analysis of your essays. However, at first glance:

Drako11: your lack of response makes me cry.
Yami-Dokuro: your essay was readable, but it could definitely use some touching-up and be more evidential.
Sashay: I appreciate the examples you provide, and while your essay was very good, it could have been more focused.

Again, I will elaborate this weekend.

Regards,
Circ

> Yami Dokuro <

Yami Dokuro wrote:Role-playing, what is it? We browse this site everyday, yet do we know the origins of it? Well, I will now explain a bit of its history.

Role-playing is effectively assuming a role of a character, sometimes completely different from themselves.*1 These characters are acted out, creating a storyline, and character traits, and personalities as the role-play progresses. As role-plays flourish and reach new heights, role-players can form bonds with the character they are acting out. Such bonds are strong enough that you start thinking like that character, feeling what they feel, and thus grow as a role-player.

Modern role-playing stems from one of the most popular role-playing games of all time, Dungeons and Dragons. From this game, rules were created, which role-players had to abide by, and ways to calculate actions fairly emerged.*2 It wasn't long after this that role-playing in IRC and other chat clients became commonplace, eventually leading to many dedicated sites such as this one.*3 But...is*4 this all that role-playing's about*5? The[u/] answer [u]is no, as there are many varieties of role-playing, and they are up to you to discover.

As a final note, role-playing is no longer merely a game*6, but can be thought of as a test of a persons' manipulation of the English language*7, or as a release from the strains of reality. However you view role-playing, just remember one thing, it will never die.

If my review below sounds harsh, just try to be as objective as possible, and weed out the errors I pointed out rather than what you might perceive as insults. I realize you threw your essay together in short notice, so it is not as good as it could have been had you worked on it throughout the time period I had allocated for its completion. However, that said, it is your own fault for not having done so. That, and it is about half the length it should have been. A typical essay runs approximately 500 words in length, as was mentioned in the lesson requirements. This didn't even push 250 words. While your use of vocabulary wasn't horribly limited, I felt that the approach to writing the essay was rather constrained.

*1: Your sentence is worded in such a way that it sounds as though the character is playing a different role, rather than the player. Although one doesn't have to be incredibly verbose, good writing doesn't assume a reader has familiarity with the subject.

*2: This sentence is awkward, and should probably be broken up.

*3: Would that make any sense if you printed this out and handed it to a teacher? What is "this" one?

*4: Bad grammar! I asked for an essay, not a stream of consciousness. Beginning a sentence with the word but is bad enough, but tossing in ellipses immediately afterward, and for no good reason, is a mortal sin!

*5: If you are posing a question, use a question mark. Don't fudge it into a run-on sentence.

*6: That makes me cry inside.

*7: Do you consider it ironic that you are describing role-playing as being "a test of a persons' manipulation of the English language" while in the same set of keystrokes laying waste to the laws of grammar? Since you are talking about the English Language, language, too, should be capitalized. Additionally, the apostrophe goes before the s in person's, not after it.

Grade: 70/100.

> Sashay <

Sashay wrote:Music is a force that is all around us, yet something that cannot be translated directly like modern languages usually can. For example, as I write this*1, I am listening to the song "Elizabeth," sung by Billy Gilman. I think of saddened hopefulness, because I’ve heard the song so many times and know the lyrics by heart. The person sitting next to me thinks of a tender moment, because of the melody of the song and the instrumentals in the background as the lyrics come in.

It’s almost like the Bible.*2 No two people can seem to interpret it the same way.*3 Even though the Bible is in a written language, and can be directly translated, people debate the meaning behind the words. The same is true with music, only sometimes there are no words. Sometimes, all you have to go on are what the instrumentalists are performing. Sometimes, when you listen to music, it will be in a language you don’t know at all. Then, even though you have the words before you, you can’t really tell what it’s supposed to be about EXCEPT through the instrumentals.

For example, "Kawaita Sakebi," from Yu-Gi-Oh!, is in Japanese, a language I am mostly unfamiliar with. Listening to it, I think of a group of friends having fun together after school, because I recognize it as being related to that series. The person next to me thinks of a slice of life scenario, regular everyday life. Similar, yes, but still, we think different things when presented with the same song.

The lovely thing about music, however, is that you don’t have to be a performer to understand it. You don’t have to know what parallel fifths are, or different key signatures, or even how to read music to enjoy and interpret it. While that sort of knowledge might influence how you choose to decipher it, you don’t have to. Children love music, and with the exception of child prodigies, most of them aren’t exactly big on performing. Point in fact, other than prodigies, most children are horrible at musical endeavors until they gain basic motor skills. That doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy it just as much as adolescents and adults do; they enjoy it just as much, only in a different way.*4

So, *5music is something that everyone interprets differently. One song can have an infinite number of interpretations, and every single one of them would be right. Even when the composer intends for a song to convey a certain message, the listener might not get that message. They might even get something completely different. The song Elizabeth, from the example at the beginning, is one such song. It was written about a girl named Elizabeth, who was battling against an illness she had had since she was very young, and it talks about her life and what she battled. I interpreted it with that knowledge. The person next to me did not. Does that make his interpretation wrong? Not in the least. It just makes it different, and that is the true beauty of music.*6

Fairly well done. I've inserted some commas, albeit not required in all cases, to make your essay more readable. Other than that, I saw no glaring flaws. You write very well, and I think you'd do well to pursue it. With a bit more structure and evidentiary analysis, the essay would be excellent.

*1: If you aren't going to clarify what this is, don't bother mentioning it. Granted, the reader will probably know the this is some sort of exposition on music, but I find such wordplay to be unnecessary and argh.

*2: What is almost like the Bible? Do you mean musical interpretation is almost like interpreting Bible? If so, write what you mean rather than an ambiguous, potentially inflammatory remark.

*3: Granted, I didn't say references would be required, but, when making such a sweeping claim, you may want to provide a citation or at least mention a personal experience to support it.

*4: This seems to stray a bit from the topic, albeit legitimate enough fluff.

*5: "So we can deduce," or "So it would seem," or some other prefix that shows you have validated your claim.

*6: I wasn't aware your argument was that different interpretations of music are what make it so beautiful, but, rather, that music can be interpreted many ways. Although, like the child prodigy analogy, it is legitimate enough fluff.

Grade: 95/100.

__FINAL__

Go back to http://www.freerice.com, and find three new words. These worlds will be your tri-force for a character you will develop, and a story you will write outlining his or her path to destiny. The story must be 500 words or longer, and the final product will be judged by the same criterium outlined in the first post of this thread. If it is even half as emotionally moving as the story of Jamie Henderson, you'll get an A++.

For grading, you will start with a total of 50 points. For every flaw I encounter, I will deduct a single point. A total of 30 points are required to graduate.

Wait, can you enlighten me, are we to use those three words and create a character that encompasses those words or create a story around those words or both.

(Btw, number 6 on mine, you have to agree some people do take roleplay beyond being just a game *cough*Saladin*cough*)

The story and the character must revolve around the ideas within those three words.

Epic. Fail.

(So do we just post and await criticism by Circ? No offense meant)