Chapter 3 - Christmas

Just as Shineda had reacted, most of them reacted negatively to the attention, mostly cuz of the din. However, it seemed that Kahlan and Marius seemed pretty much at home in such an environment. That was of course, until Shineda felt Refa move away, and he assumed that she had decided to get away from all the noise. He felt a gentle tug on his arm but he didn't shake it off, since it was a gentle touch.

"C'mon. I see an opening."


Reacting to the person's voice, he put a hand out for Tatsu, who instantly grabbed it and they followed the person. Kahlan! She was leading them out, while Marius distracted the rowdy group tavern with fanciful speeches and flowery sentences. They eventually slipped out into the cool night air. The snow was picking up and Kahlan drew her <<Traveler's Rags>>, the very one that Shineda gave her, closer to her face. She turned her attention to the player behind her and gave him a gentle smile.

"Sorry about that back there. Are you okay? It doesn't seem like your used to big crowds."

"...I don't want to be known. I don't want to be called a savior." Shineda blurted out quietly, his fear of his powerlessness and his self-loathing once again making him extra talkative. "What's the point of calling someone a savior when he doesn't even save people?"

Tatsu reached up and hugged, or at least tried to, Shineda around the waist, ending up hanging from his hip instead.

"Big bro, it's okay. I think you're a good person. You saved me." he called out softly, gently, almost un-childish even. Now this was one kid that knew how to soothe someone. But Shineda wasn't just any someone.

"Thank you Tatsu..." Shineda patted the boy's head but still seemed a little shaken. "You don't understand yet, but thank you."

Shineda looked at Kahlan from under his hood. It pained him, but he decided against showing himself to her. "It was great working with you, but I must go."

When Shineda turned to walk, he felt an unfamiliar weight around him. Then he remembered. "Tatsu?"

"Hm?"

"..." Shineda looked at Kahlan. "Kahlan, if it's not asking much, can you take care of the child? He's... special. I'm only one person, I can't protect him, definitely not someone like me. But you. You can. You just have to bring him to three <<Boss>> fights. Just three of them."

Realizing what was going on, Tatsu jumped off from Shineda and rammed him. "NO! I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! I'M STAYING WITH YOU!"

"Tatsu..." Shineda had a warning tone, but Tatsu gave Shineda a tone of his own.

"NO. I TOLD YOU NO! YOU PROMISED TO HELP ME! NOT SOME OTHER PERSON!!" Tatsu yelled with as much authority he could muster, causing a large jab of guilt in his heart. He did... He promised him. But...

"Tatsu..." he knelt before the kid who stared at him with fuming eyes. "I know I did...but your chances of living with her is higher than it is with me. I want you to make it out here alive."

"You're the strongest! You won't let me die! I know it!" Tatsu answered confidently, placing another painful jab into Shineda's heart. The child was expecting him to protect him... But this was impossible...

"Tatsu..."

"I'm running away and following you if you put me with the girl. I'm going to die out there in the wilderness while looking for you!" Tatsu said, not a threat. A fact. The kid was serious.

Shineda with no other options, turned towards Kahlan. Perhaps... she knew what choice he should pick?

Refa has been sitting in cold snow for an hour now. There was no sight of Atoubu or Naito. Girl was starting to freeze despite Kyuu-chan's attempts to keep his master warm.

"He ditched us," Refa said with a sour smile on her face and looked up in the dark winter sky. Snowflakes were slowing falling on her face, making girl freeze even more. Although she knew that Atoubu wouldn't come, she didn't dare to go away. It was Refa's stubborn nature that would make her hope until the last straw.

Slowly Refa started to grow more and more tired. She hasn't slept for 2 days because of grinding in Inferna and Christmas event. "Nyuuu," Kyuu-chan whimpered trying to keep red-head awake but it was futile. She was simply too tired. Slowly she sat down on the ground and closed her eyes, falling into slumber. Sleeping outside during winter while being in city of special event was like suicide. Player killers only were waiting for an opportunity to find a sleeping player outside and kill him. And if Pk's wouldn't get Refa then cold will surely give her some strong disease that will make her stay in bed for weeks or maybe even make her die.

But now it didn't matter. Girl was too tired to think so she just fell asleep despite her pet's protests. Refa just wanted to rest from all of this. From this death, from this hell game, from people and from disappointment they bring. "It's for the best to stay alone after all," Refa thought before falling asleep in the snow.

Marius glanced around at the town below him. It looked like the scene below him had finally settled down, so he could probably head through town without causing another scene. He gracefully jumped down from the top of the building, and walked off towards the inn. While walking towards it, he heard a rather distinct "Nyuu" from further down the street. Knowing of only one thing that made that noise, he took off towards it at full speed.

He stopped at a bit of a distance from the scene. Clearly, Refa was on the ground, passed out from exhaustion by the looks of things. Her every loyal pet was standing next to her, bearing its teeth at three black clad players who approached with swords drawn. "Pks" Marius muttered to himself. "I'd stake my speed stat on it." Clearly interested in Refa's high level gear, they looked prepared to make a sleeping Pk.

Marius was in no way going to stand for this. He got closer to the scene, and gave a loud "Hey!" to the shady group. Two of them looked ready to back off, but one of them, the leader from the looks of things, motioned to them to stay put and tried to make himself look intimidating. It didn't work. Marius drew his own blade with a quick flourish. If they didn't recognize him before, they did now. The three of them took off running at that. Marius could catch them with little effort if he wanted, but he let them off with a warning.

Marius scratched the underside of the five-tailed fox's chin, who let out a thankful "Nyuu". Marius knelt down next to Refa and tried to wake her to no avail. She was out cold, and had clearly been under a huge amount of stress. Just how long had she been fighting since she last slept? Wanting to get her to safety, Marius gently picked her up, and carried her to the inn, her faithful pet following closely.

Marius walked into the inn and set Refa gently down on a bench. He went up to the npc innkeeper, and said "Two rooms please. One for me and one for her." Marius handed him money for both of them, and carried Refa up to her room. He gently placed her down onto the bed, the five tailed fox watching closely. He scratched it under its chin again, and went back into the main room. He sat next to the cozy fire, and waited for Kahlan, who he asked to meet him in the inn.

"Kahlan, if it's not asking much, can you take care of the child? He's... special. I'm only one person, I can't protect him, definitely not someone like me. But you. You can. You just have to bring him to three <<Boss>> fights. Just three of them."

Kahlan was shocked at the stranger's sudden request. She had just met him a few hours ago and now he was asking her to watch over and protect this boy she didn't even know. Though Kahlan was never the type to back down from a favor, this was a bit too sudden for her to accept the request lightly. But as she was about to question, the boy who clung tightly to the cloaked player had different ideas.

"NO! I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! I'M STAYING WITH YOU!"

The player, who was obviously trying to convince the child, told him that he would be better off with Kahlan. She frowned. What did he know? He too only had met her a few hours ago. What did he know that made him so sure? Surely this wasn't some attempt to get the small boy off his back. No... That wasn't it. Kahlan could tell by the player's tone, that he truly cared for the boy. She thought back to the player's request. I can't protect him, definitely not someone like me. What was he talking about? What's the point of calling someone a savior when he doesn't even save people? Suddenly, Kahlan knew. By the comments the player was making, it was all too clear that something happened in the past that made him think this way. He was trying to save everyone, but after he failed at saving a few, he lost confidence in himself and withdrew, not wanting to develop close bonds with others in fear that he wouldn't be able to protect them. He was shouldering a burden someone should not be shouldering alone. He was blaming himself.

The Paladin stood in silence as she watched the boy declare that even if the cloaked player DID leave him with her, that he would run off and search for the player until he died of starvation or got killed. This seemed to drive the nail home and the player suddenly could not say a word and helplessly looked to her for some sort of guidance or help. She stepped forward, her hair flowing in the frigid wind.

"It seems like there's no other option. Though if it were a last resort, I would take care of him if you left him with me, but being since I have only met you a few hours ago, I cannot even begin to understand why you are attempting to leave him with me if you care about him that much which I know you do. That boy is strong, I know he is, and so are you. Forgive me for being blunt but don't give me this 'I can't protect him' attitude. I've seen you fight and even though it was only one fight, even the boy could agree with me. You are one of the most powerful players I have seen. If I were him," Kahlan's gaze shifted to the boy's and back, "I would be begging to come with you too. I....." She thought back. Something like this happened to her before. Kahlan averted her eyes to the snowy clouds above. "Being left behind is not a pleasant feeling. Something like that happened to me. He promised that he would wait for me.... but....." Kahlan sighed and gathered herself. Now was not the time to be looking for sympathy. "But that's the past now. I bet he has forgotten all about me. Though..... I'm still looking for him." The Paladin fixed her gaze on the stranger's hood, where she imagined his eyes looking at her. "Don't insult the boy by leaving him behind. If you really do care for him, then you'll be able to protect him all the more. Your friends and comrades aren't for you to dispose of when you think that protecting them is beyond your reach. You strive to become stronger. You strive to be the one that is responsible for the lives of your friends. Don't run away. A man is most powerful when he has something to protect whether it be someone he cares for, his country, his ideals, his pride. Anything. And if you don't believe you can protect those who are dear to you, yet you still want to save everyone then you might as well stop fighting right now."

She didn't want to go off on him, but this was something she was extremely passionate about. Hopefully he didn't take offense. Kahlan's fists were white. She had given this same speech to someone before. Surely the player in front of her would understand.

Canon gave a quiet gasp as her already tremulous balance was taken from her, her small, light form suddenly swept up into the arms of her comrade. For a moment, she seemed just a little embarrassed by this through her somewhat distant perceptions, but, in the next instant, her faint blush was complimented by a massive, innocent smile. Shifting ever so slightly in his grasp as Asher walked, Canon did her best to hold onto him, snuggling up to him and never ceasing to grin as she did so. Rather than her usual shy self, she seemed unabashedly overjoyed at being this close to him. Although, in Asher's mind, this might just have been the effects of the alcohol giving her strange ideas, there was also the distinct possibility that this might still be Canon's true feelings, with the inhibitions keeping them at bay lowered by her inebriation.

"You're warm," The white-haired girl observed happily, resting her suddenly very tired head against Asher and smiling, but this expression swiftly turned to a pout. "You're warm, so why are you always so far away?" She mumbled, sounding suddenly very melancholy. That is, before her tone suddenly shifted to one of irritation, and, of all the unexpected actions, she actually began speaking in an almost accusing way, and dealt Asher a feeble, strength-less blow to the chest to punctuate her statement. "I can't ever get close to you like this. You idiot! (BAKA! =P) Why are you so clueless, anyway? You don't understand how I feel at all! Why can't you just understand for once?" Seeming suddenly very angry, she began to pout rather childishly, crossing her arms with a quiet "Hmph~!" and refusing to answer Asher after this point, instead looking pointedly in the opposite direction, all the while trying and failing horribly to hide the fact that she was still trying to press herself ever closer to him, wrapping her arms tightly around his center when she couldn't nestle up against him in his arms due to being moved, much to her thinly-veiled displeasure, from his front to his back.

Suffice to say, Asher might very well be feeling somewhat awkward by the time he got his drunken partner to the inn room, and it only got worse from there. After being set down, Canon began to pout again, seeming deeply distressed by being parted from the comforting contact she'd held with her beloved partner. As he turned away and began to open a status window, the young girl sat up almost immediately, staring with alternating longing and frustrated despair at his back. Finally, she had enough. Canon, as she was now, wasn't thinking about the future, or how things might go wrong if she acted overtly now. All she cared about right now was how she felt, and how to fulfill those feelings. She liked Asher. She didn't want him to go away. He had to stay. She didn't want to be left alone, even if it was just for the duration of a night. She felt weird, and she didn't want to be left by herself when she was feeling this way.

And so, standing up, Canon walked on unsteady feet up behind Asher. Losing her balance at the last moment, she settled for simply stumbling forward and awkwardly catching herself by embracing him from behind. Staring up at him, she silently pleaded with him not to leave. Then, just in case he didn't get the message, she restated it in words so he'd understand how she felt for once. Her frustration at his apparent inability to grasp how she felt was actually rather ironic, since Canon herself didn't quite understand the full meaning of what she was saying. Innocent as she was, and her wits hampered by drink, she didn't immediately make the connection between Asher staying in the same room as her overnight and sleeping in the same bed as him. It was fortunate, then, that the object of her affections wasn't the sort of individual to take advantage of her current befuddlement.

"Don' go..." She mumbled. "Stay here... I'm lonely. I don' want to be lonely anymore..."

"It seems like there's no other option. Though if it were a last resort, I would take care of him if you left him with me, but being since I have only met you a few hours ago, I cannot even begin to understand why you are attempting to leave him with me if you care about him that much which I know you do. That boy is strong, I know he is, and so are you. Forgive me for being blunt but don't give me this 'I can't protect him' attitude. I've seen you fight and even though it was only one fight, even the boy could agree with me. You are one of the most powerful players I have seen. If I were him," Kahlan's gaze shifted to the boy's and back, Shineda did the same as well, looking at the boy then back at Kahlan.

"I would be begging to come with you too. I....." She seemed to hold back. Kahlan averted her eyes to the snowy clouds above. "Being left behind is not a pleasant feeling. Something like that happened to me. He promised that he would wait for me.... but....." Kahlan sighed and gathered herself.

Another painful stab of guilt flooded Shineda's heart. She was talking about him...

"But that's the past now. I bet he has forgotten all about me. Though..... I'm still looking for him." Shineda kept silent, waiting for whatever Kahlan was about to say. "Don't insult the boy by leaving him behind. If you really do care for him, then you'll be able to protect him all the more. Your friends and comrades aren't for you to dispose of when you think that protecting them is beyond your reach. You strive to become stronger. You strive to be the one that is responsible for the lives of your friends. Don't run away. A man is most powerful when he has something to protect whether it be someone he cares for, his country, his ideals, his pride. Anything. And if you don't believe you can protect those who are dear to you, yet you still want to save everyone then you might as well stop fighting right now."

There was no convincing anyone. No one understood why he was so afraid. Yes... he was powerful, but what could he do with power when he couldn't save people? He just couldn't save them. There are times when you can't do anything except watch as people die in front of you. Shineda just shook his head, removing the snow coating his hood and stood up, holding a hand out for Tatsu, whose face lighted up and he hung on to that hand like it was dear life.

"...I'm responsible for your life Tatsu."

And he meant it. If anything happened to Tatsu, he would never be able to forgive himself for what happened if Tatsu died. Imagine the pain of the child's parents... Imagine the future he may have gotten if he had lived... The girl he may have met and raised a family with...

He turned his hooded face to Kahlan.

"...You may not know this, that is why you speak so easily about the power of protecting others." Shineda commented slightly upon it. "I'm speaking in experience...protecting someone isn't easy even if you're powerful. Sure. It makes you powerful beyond measures...but when it all comes crashing down and you fail... you don't even feel powerful anymore. You've lost your reason to live, your reason to fight. It's a double edged weapon Kahlan. It's not a sharp Katana that cuts into the future with only one blade... it's a two edged sword that can cut backwards as well."

Shineda brushed off some of the snow from Tatsu's face and shoulders with tenderness, it was such a gentle gesture, that it was hard to imagine this was the person who fought against <<Santa>> a while ago. He turned to leave along with Tatsu, then stopped to look back at Kahlan.

"That guy...I'm not sure if he's forgotten about you." Shineda suggested quietly. "Did he give you any means to remember him by? Surely, if he has, he's made it clear that he'll remember you."

He paused then, so quietly. "If he hasn't...perhaps he didn't try hard enough."

With that, he and Tatsu left, walking forward, skirting round the tavern to get by it. Eventually Shineda came across some black clad people who were grumbling about <<The Blur>> and "Almost had the red head..." This perked up Shineda's mind and he scanned the area around him. Red head....Refa? Was Refa in trouble, were these PKs? As if to confirm the fact, the PKs stared up at him.

"Well, maybe we're in luck boys."

Shineda did not want to fight and put up his hands for them to see. "Not here to fight. I heard you talking about a red head. Do you know where she is?"

"BAH, her boyfriend decided to protect her and bring her up to an inn, from what I saw." the man spat with spite. "If you were looking to do anything to her, she's under the protection of that damned, son of a bi-"

Shineda threw a punch that no one had ever seen flashing before their eyes, sending the man flying a good few feet away.

"Please, dear sir, I advise you to clean your mouth before you speak of my acquaintances that way." Shineda said in a rather forced voice. Then he walked off with Tatsu, the three PKs staring at them. It was only until about half a minute later when they reacted with their swords drawn and anger flashing in their eyes. Shienda turned to look back at them, but witnessed the most amazing sight.

Tatsu chanting and a large golden glow emanating from him. Just as the PKs neared them, Tatsu unleashed a barrage of mixed spells, fire, ice, lightning, even earth. The spells did not combine, but rather attacked separately and independently. This was...

"<<Magical Barrage>>." Tatsu completed the chant.

All 3 PKs were utterly destroyed in that one powerful spell, collapsing without much resistance. Surely, there was no getting back up from an attack like that. It was only a miracle they were still alive. Tatsu smiled up at Shineda with a large grin.

"Always wanted to do that to PKs."

Shineda sighed with a smile and patted the child's head. He was powerful, this one. A small glint caught his eye and Shineda activated his <<Detect>>. He saw a mug laying in the snow, the one that held the hot chocolate from before. The mushed up snow there, the footprints. Surely... had Refa been sleeping here? The dumb fool! She could get sick! He needed to check up on her! Quickly, he went to the inn, inquiring about a red haired girl and a man with a double blade. Indeed, the innkeeper instantly knew who he was talking about and told him where their room was.

Shineda knocked on the door, waiting for Marius or Refa to answer.

"Marius?" he called out.

"I-....I wasn't finished yet......"

Shineda turned to the all too familiar voice of Kahlan's. She followed them here? Or did she just bump into them by chance? It could be that, seeing as how Marius and Kahlan seemed to hang around each other whenever they met. But either way, she was here and she wanted to talk.

"...Go on." he said to her, leaning back against the wall while waiting for Marius or Refa to open the doors. Tatsu decided to wander around the place, walking down the hallway to look at other rooms and things like that.

"I..... I want to understand. If I just keep blathering about my own ideals without even knowing who you are, then I might as well be talking to a stone wall. I want to get to know you. If you don't mind me prying. In return I.... well...."

Shineda looked at Kahlan and met her eye from under his hood.

"I'll tell you about myself in exchange for your story. Please....."

"...You're not blathering about your own ideals. I understand what you mean when you said that. But not everyone can follow another person's ideals." Shineda told her. Shineda thought about it...then shrugged, deciding he owed the girl a story anyway. Just not part of it. "I'm just one of the unlucky ones that were caught in this game. Just a stranger passing by. It's nothing significant."

"I wanted to get out of this place and in the beginning, I worked alone. I... had a few complications with the others that made me dislike working with them, you could say. It all changed when I witnessed people dying. They died fighting to get out of this game, to meet the people precious to them. I learned what they fight for...and I understood. I wanted to help them. My goal no longer became 'Get out of ACO alive'. It became 'Get everyone out of ACO alive.'"

"...T-there were some I saved...and more I didn't..." Shineda's voice trembled as the memories once again flash through his eyes for the THIRD time this day. "...no...no...NO!"

Shineda banged his fist down against the wall behind him and seemed in pain inside.

"Their faces. I saw each and everyone them. I was there, helpless, unable to save them. A sea of faces stare at me every night I sleep, Kahlan...e-every night..." Shineda placed a hand on his forehead as if tired. "Each of them saying...'you're strong, why couldn't you save me?', 'You should've died with us. You were there, why couldn't you help me?', 'I saw you, protecting that person, why didn't you protect me?'"

"I try to forget about them...during the day...when I fight. I don't remember them until nightfall, when it's time for me to rest. I hear their voices, their screams when they died. I feel their resentment... and I know it's my fault. I am guilty. Each night I think to myself...'I could've save them' and imagine the difference it would make."

"I work alone because I don't want to become close to anyone. I've seen those who lost their loved ones. They glare at me... they blamed me for the deaths. I don't want to become like them. I don't want to lose anyone, and to do that... I decided not to have anyone. I decided to stay away from society as much as I could. I decided to aid and leave when the fight was over. Until today..."

Shineda looked at the far figure of Tatsu, who was still curious about the place.

"...I remember a time a few people said that I didn't seem to care whatever happened to the others, that I shouldn't run off doing my own thing alone, that I shouldn't thing of myself as a hero. I do care, I just don't want to become involved to the point I become attached to them. That's why I run off doing my own thing, to stay away from them. I'm not a hero, but I can't leave people trapped here. I have to bring them back."

"Look where that got me. I run through this world solo, got called a hero, but I'm the cause why many have died. And now I've ended up deciding to take care of the kid...I've grown attached to him within this short time span... and I'm afraid."

"I'm afraid of losing him, Kahlan..." he looked at the blonde girl. "This was one thing I had been afraid of for such a long time. What if I can't save him? Just like how I couldn't save the thousands of other souls that haunt my memories each night? If I lose him... his face will forever be in my memories and I would never forgive myself if I lost him!"

"This innate will of mine that drives me to protect people I meet..." Shineda felt so tired, for the first time in several months. "It's a bane to me..."

He was on his knees. "Many people say, 'it's a good thing!', but they don't understand... they don't know the consequences when you fail in protecting people. Sure... some people don't care about the deaths, but I can't. It's how I am..."

He cradled his head in his hands, trying to forget everything. "I-I'm sorry...just give me a minute..."

His voice shook, and sounded as if he was suppressing the urge to sob.

Slowly Refa woke up, expecting to feel the cold and probably pain from PK's attacks, however she was warm and comfortable and as she looked around Refa saw that she was inside the inn with her loyal pet Kyuu-chan by her side.

"What happened, Kyuu-chan?" Refa asked the fox who obviously was worried about his master's well-being.

"Nyuuuuu, Nyuu, Nyuu, Nyuuu," fox answered while making quite unique faces which would make Refa laugh at any situation apart from this one.

"So some guy saved me and carried me to this inn? What is Atoubuu?" Girl asked and received a denying head shake.

"Marius then, I don't know anyone else who would bother saving me," Refa said and this time fox approved her words. She felt thankful to Marius, yet she was angry that he saved her. Red-head wanted to end this game, she was completely tired of it. Suicide was not her style so instead of that girl decided simply to recklessly rush into fights. Although even then chance of her dying was low, after all she was one of the front liners.

Quickly Refa got out of bed and headed outside of her room. The first thing she saw was little Naito wondering in the hallway and not too far away Kahlan was talking to Atoubu. Kyuu-chan instantly ran over to Naito and started playing with the boy. Five-tailed fox liked little boy quite a lot. Refa let a little smile and went up to her loyal pet. "You keep watch over Naito for now, please make sure that he is fine," Refa gently patted his head and turned around to head out of the inn.

She looked at Atoubu, but her expression remained cold. Her impressions about him changed way too often, however she was now convinced he was just a coward. In crowd he loses his cool because he is called a hero. Then again Refa understands why he lost his cool, he knows that he's a coward and he was scared that everyone would find out. Red head even went as far as to give him an opening to run away, but he even didn't use it.

Then Refa looked at Kahlan with same cold expression. Seems like this girl always tried to follow this fake hero. Red head just signed and continued her way out of the inn. It was hard to leave Kyuu-chan behind, but she knew that Naito needed him more then she did. After all Atoubu won't stay with the boy for long. He will ditch him once he sees an opening to do so.

Marius heard a knock on the door from the cloaked player. He almost stepped outside, but then he heard him and Kahlan having a conversation of a personal nature. Not wanting to intrude, Marius waited in his room, using a mirage sphere to plot out his next little adventure. Somewhere down the line, he heard Refa leave her room. He glanced outside his room, to find Refa leaving her pet behind and heading out of the inn. Marius had just seen Refa passed out on the ground, so this wasn't something he would allow. He darted out of the room and said to Kahlan and the cloaked player "Hey guys. Be back in a second. Got to take care of this."

Marius ran out of the inn to see Refa just leaving. He dashed right in front of her, calling out "Hold it Refa!" Getting right in front of her, he said "You aren't going anywhere. Not in your condition. You were just passed out by the tavern, and you almost got sleep pked as well. I'm not letting you go anywhere untill you are at full strength." Interupting any possible rebuttal, he added "And don't think you can just shove me out of the way. I'm not letting you go anywhere, and I'm willing to fight you head on over this. This is just foolish and reckless. This isn't just about those outside waiting for you Refa. What about us still in here? We're your friends Refa, and friends look out for one another. So let me look out for you this once!"

As red head was about to leave suddenly Marius darted out to block her way. "Hold it Refa!" Getting right in front of her, he said "You aren't going anywhere. Not in your condition. You were just passed out by the tavern, and you almost got sleep pked as well. I'm not letting you go anywhere untill you are at full strength." Interupting any possible rebuttal, he added "And don't think you can just shove me out of the way. I'm not letting you go anywhere, and I'm willing to fight you head on over this. This is just foolish and reckless. This isn't just about those outside waiting for you Refa. What about us still in here? We're your friends Refa, and friends look out for one another. So let me look out for you this once!"

Refa chuckled to herself and said: "Fine, you win, I'll stay in the inn for a bit, I'm going to leave tomorrow. I am indebted to you for saving my life, so I don't really have any right to argue. But just so you know I'm actually feeling quite fine. Due to main element being fire, I'm more resistant to cold."

With that note Refa returned back to her room. She didn't want to talk to Kahlan, Atoubu or Naito. Well, she liked the little boy, but he is surely to stand up for that coward and Refa didn't want to argue with a child. Instead she just dived into her bed and thought of everything that had happened. People dying, killing, struggling to survive. Not all were as strong as Refa, many were unable to defend themselves and because of that they had died. It is said that law of nature is that only the strongest and fittest survive, however it's not suppose to be like that. Not in human community at least.

"Why did you even create such a terrifying game?" Red head asked the game master. Of course she knew that he couldn't hear her question or answer it, but she was determinate to find the answer one day.

Asher froze up when Kanna hugged I'm from behind, asking him in a slurred voice to not leave her. Asher turned around and basically hugged her back. In reality, he was never going to sleep in another room. However, Kanna's rather mind-screwing words had.. Well, shook his mind. Did she mean what I think she meant? Asher thought. Was she implying something when she said I didn't understand how she felt?

Then again, Asher was wondering about this himself. He felt as though there was something beginning between them, or at least on his side. Asher saw how close Kanna had been moving towards him. Asher thought he inched a bit towards her.

However, was this his imagination? Is this just a one-sided relationship Asher might be falling into? Was Kanna's statements just implications made from a drunken mind, which can make up practically anything? Is it?

Asher sighed. "Alright Kanna... I won't leave you..." He looked down on her, not in the figurative way. She's completely drunk... Couldn't even walk from the bed to me in a straight line... Asher observed from the sounds of her stumbling footsteps. "Let's just... I don't know, get you to bed or something...." These are one of the times in which Asher must be careful. After all, drunk people are unpredictable, especially when that person your stuck with is a girl.

Canon seemed to understand Asher's response, and seemed pleased enough with it. "Good," She said, her voice still containing at least part of the melancholy that had suddenly come over her as she spoke quietly, yet firmly, her words somewhat muffled by the fabric of Asher's coat, into which she had buried her face. Continuing to hold on tightly to her companion - it wasn't clear if this was for her own edification, or just because she couldn't quite manage to stand up on her own - Canon set out as purposefully as one could when their legs felt like toothpicks and their head was spinning, heading for the bed she'd just gotten up from. For a moment, she seemed to have trouble, but, leaning against Asher for support - an action which dragged him along with her - she managed to cross the distance, and then, turning herself slightly, flopped down onto the bed.

...and completely failed to let go of Asher while she did so. The sudden action, combined with her firm grip and his likely surprise at what she was trying to do, might very well have been enough to bring him down, but, just in case they didn't, it seemed that the drunk young warrior was so intent on not letting go of her companion that she actually activated a <<Grappling>> skill to pull him onto the bed along with herself. Grinning broadly yet innocently - something which clashed entirely with the position the two were now in, as Canon hugged tightly to Asher with both her arms and legs, snuggling up as closely to his side as she possibly could and pillowing her head upon his chest, looking happily up from her new headrest and directly into his face from mere inches away - the white-haired girl seemed completely oblivious to the fact that her usual haori and boots had vanished once she entered the bed, leaving her clad in only the yukata of her <<Oni Queen's Kimono,>> which, although by no means immodest, was still very short in the bottom, reaching only to a spot around her thighs, and, moreover, was worn off-shoulder, opening up the collar area far wider than the shy girl usually would have liked. Yet, despite this, Canon seemed not even to notice, simply smiling as she nestled up against Asher and shut her eyes. Evidently, she'd come to the conclusion that he'd be sleeping along with her, and wasn't going to take no for an answer. And, although the cohabitation was perfectly innocent, it was still something so far out of Canon's character as to be completely baffling. But, uninhibited by the alcohol she'd consumed, this didn't occur to her in the least. Right now, all that mattered was being close to Asher.

"'Night..." She mumbled.

There are times when you're stuck in a room with a drunk of the opposite sex. In that kind of situation, you can (a) get drunk and hope to God Almighty that you would get laid or not- depending who you are- (b) rudely knock that person out (of course, you'd usually do that if the said drunk was a boy), (c) resist the drunk's wishes and take control, or (d) go with the flow of the river of alchohal. It seemed Asher took Choice D.
Kanna didn't let go of him when she went to the bed. Asher didnt know what to do, and the worst case scenario if he reacted would be Kanna killing either/both of the people in the room. So, he unwillingly went along with this. Of course, it was a bad move. The drunken girl dragged Asher across the room in her wake. She tossed herself onto the bed.
Because she didn't let go, there were two events that would potentially happen: (a) Kanna would've been stopped because of Asher's weight, causing he to land on him after being forced back, or (b) like in the anime, Kanna would've had surprising strength and pulled Asher to bed.
And guess what happened? B. Becuase of the way Kanna threw herself onto the bed while grabbing Asher, she activated a grappling skill even Asher didnt know she had. The result was that Asher was thrown onto the bed, landing with a loud "Ungh!", and Kanna landing on top of him in the mount position. And so, Asher's mind went on a trip to a land in which hormones ruled, and Asher nearly obtained the title "Heart Attack Survivor."
In his eyes, Kanna would've obtained a title of her own: "Rapist." That is until Kanna just laid there on the Voice of Treason, letting out a quiet "Night..."
... Silence ensued. The Voice of Treason didnt move for about 30 seconds, but then tried to escape. However, the Vermillion Sparrow had a good grip on him, and would not let him move, not even an inch. Asher's eyes darted to the doorway, because he hoped to God no one would come in, singing "What is up? I for-for-forgot my bag~" and open their eyes, thinking they saw a post-sex scene.
Fortunately, no one did. Asher sighed. Even if he and Kanna weren't in this position, it would be a Goddamn miracle if no one came. After all, his kimono was very, VERY loose, with nothing underneath. Kanna's haori-portion of her Oni Queen's Kimono had been removed, leaving only the yukata behind to cover her and her more... Private sections of her body. Moreover, Canon was on top of him, so, of course, Asher blushed. Who wouldn't?
And this girl was intent on keeping Asher to herself in her deunken state. Because of this, Asher had no choice but to spend the night in a bed, with Canon on top in very inappropriate clothing, and his raging hormones. Even his dreams were affected...
"God... Why me...?" Asher grumbled to himself right before he slept.

Marius opened his mouth to respond, expecting a retort only to get acceptance. He wasn't expecting to complete avoid argument, and had prepared a variety of arguments. Not expecting a quick end, he just smiled and said "Well, okay then. Just get some rest. By the way, Kahlan and I are forming a party. If you want, you could probably join in, but I won't mind if you don't." With that, Marius headed back up the stairs to find Kahlan and the cloaked player in a bit of an awkward position. He moved a bit out of the way, and cleared his throat, saying "Perhaps I've come at a bad time. I'll leave if you want."

Shineda had been able to stop his tears quite well and would've stood up again to say that he was alright, but when Kahlan unexpectedly hugged him... He was surprised and shocked. He had not been hugged since forever. The gesture allowed one tear, then another to fall through Shineda's wide eyes. He... he...

It was warmth...Shineda had been lacking this. The warmth of another person. Running solo throughout the huge world of ACO... he had never given himself the chance to relax. Kahlan brought his hooded face up to look at her, which was mercifully still covering his face, and said to him.

"No..... I don't think it's a 'bane' to you at all. It's who you are. You care immensely about everyone around you and I respect that with all my heart. I really do. Though our views about protecting those we love are quite different, I'm happy to say that we have one thing in common. We both care enough to keep fighting. I want to save everyone as much as you do, and I think I can finally say that I understand your reasons for doing the things you do to fight. Hold on to that."

She relinquished her hug and moved away before holding out a hand for him. Her smile... it was gentle. It was a nice turn from the people who scorned him, hated him. From the pained screaming faces of the dead's last minutes.

"But I need to tell you this. What you are trying to do. What you are trying to accomplish is impossible to do alone. You need to accept that there are just too many players out there for you to help. The only way to save everyone is to beat this game. You know that as much as I do. If you don't want those sea of faces and the people who you lost to blame you, then beat the game. That is the only way to make sure that their sacrifice will not go to waste. Come with me. Fight beside me. We won't be alone. Marius will be with us as well and I'm sure that Canon and her partner would be more than willing to come along too. Together we all would be able to make sure that Tatsu- was that his name?- will make it out alive. With five frontline players, he will be more than well protected. Will you come with us?"

Shineda was stunned. This... was an invitation to join them, the promise that Tatsu would be well-protected... As much as he wanted to... his fear had it's cold iron grip on his heart once more, whispering dreadful scenarios, whether true or not, into his semi-broken spirit. He shook his head.

"I...I-I'm really sorry Kahlan. I know you mean well but... I don't think I can associate myself with any group for now... I..." Shineda reached under his hood to whip his face, and presumably his tears. "I need some time... I'll think about it. But for now..."

Marius had walked by during their conversation, but Shineda had not heard even a single word he said. Now though, he could hear the constant 'nyuu' from Kyuu and searched the fox out, finding him with Tatsu on the corner of the hallway. He reached down to pat both, making both fox and child to close their eyes happily under his touch. Shineda looked back to Kahlan and Marius with a nod as if to say 'We're going'.

"Tatsu, stay here for a while with Kyuu. Since he's here, Refa must be around. I'll go grab something first." Shineda told the boy, who nodded with a smile, apparently oblivious to the fact that Shineda could very well leave him. But Shineda hadn't plan on doing that at all. No ever.

Going down, he went to the previous tavern they went to, only this time it was less packed, and no one took a second glance at him at all, being drunk and all. It was still quiet noisy though. He purchased a steaming hot drink and walked back out, holding the scalding mug close to his body in order not to let the coldness strip the drink of its heat. Soon, he was back, perhaps with his hands a little red and possibly the side of his stomach stinging with pain from the hot mug, but what was that even compared to the pain he had been suffering every night?

He found the two and looked back at Kyuu and clicked his tongue twice.

"Bring me to your master Kyuu." he said gently, making the five tailed fox to trot over to a door and entered, the door recognizing it as the occupant's pet. Quickly, Shineda and Tatsu slipped in before the door could close on them. Now inside, Shineda could see the red-head in bed, who he thought was asleep.

"Refa...?" he called quietly. No response.

"Asleep?" Tatsu suggested.

"Probably..." Shineda walked over, placing the back of his hand against her cheek. It was a little less warmer, she must still feel a little cold. "Huh..."

Placing the hot mug by the side table, he pulled up a chair and sat next to the bed, staring at the unmoving heap, except the gentle lifting and falling of her body when she breathed. She seemed asleep. Shineda leaned over to pull up her blanket further up to her chin and sat down with a sigh.

"...You're always reckless. Doing things you shouldn't do. A real fire spirit, you know that?" Shineda said to the presumed sleeping Refa. "But you're a great person. You're strong and you have an even stronger heart..."

Shineda chuckled bitterly, what was he even doing? Talking to a sleeping person, but somehow he wanted to.

"You must be wondering why I'm talking like this...I talked with Kahlan, and no, I didn't tell her who I was..." Shineda sighed, "But I told her about myself. About all this... I'm scared."

"I'm scared of losing everyone. I'm scared of not being able to protect people. You've heard what they call me... a hero. A savior..." Shineda's voice trembled. "But Refa... does saving just a handful of people make you a hero? I'm seen more lives lost than lives that I've saved... I'm unworthy of being called a hero."

Tatsu stared at the despaired state of Shineda quietly, listening to him talk to Refa. Even Kyuu was quietly listening.

"I'm not a hero...I'm a failure." Shineda said, another bitter laugh. "That's what they all say. The dead. Every night they appear in my dreams, scorning me, blaming me. I guess I am to be blamed... Why didn't I save them? It's all my fault. Every day, I imagine what it would be like if I had saved them..."

Shineda sniffed, then laughed again, a laugh that was both sad and embarrassed, as if to say 'What the heck am I doing?'.

"Enough about that...let's talk about you." Shineda began. "You took off so fast without waiting for us. We ended up losing you in the crowd and had to follow Kahlan instead. And to make things worst, you slept in the snow and ALMOST got PK-ed."

There was a small hint of anger in Shineda's voice. The dumb girl.

"Thank God Marius arrived on time."

"And I got some PKs for you too big sis. Smacked 'em far and wide." Tatsu quipped, which Shineda smiled at.

"Yea, the little kid's got some talent. He blew them off good." Shineda admitted patting the kid's head. "Refa... I got you some hot chocolate. It'll be on the side table when you wake up. Don't go anywhere until you feel much better than you are now... I'm keeping watch on you."

Shineda adjusted the blanket again, making sure Refa would achieve maximum comfort and heat to warm up her body. Tatsu walked over to the other side and leaned in to do the unexpected. A kiss on Refa's right cheek. Shineda raised his eyebrows and his eyes widened.

"Big bro! You do it too! Mummy used to say if you kissed someone's cheek to wish them a good recovery when they're sick, it helps them recover faster." Tatsu explained, motioning for Shineda to do it.

Shineda jerked back in surprise, WHAT?! Do that? What the... he was not... gah... was it true? Even though Shineda knew it was just a farce, but Tatsu was insistent. And maybe it did work, perhaps it had something more to do with the heart gaining encouragement instead of something scientifically explainable. Whatever it was...

Shineda leaned in to plant a gentle one on Refa's left cheek, whispering, "Warm up, <<Flaming Spirit>>."

---

Shineda and Tatsu were asleep by Refa's bedside after keeping watch of her for several hours. Indeed, both of them were tired. True to its name, the hot chocolate remained hot and the wisps of steam made the point clear. While Tatsu was sound asleep, Shineda on the other hand, was having pained expressions on his face. The hand he had unconsciously, protectively gripped onto Refa's blanket trembled.

Surely, there was no other reason why a lone tear trickled down his closed eyes while asleep. He dreamt. He dreamt of things that would've, could've, should've happened.

As Refa laid in her bed she suddenly heard a light tap on the door and how Kyuu-chan and two other people entered. Girl decided to pretend to be asleep so she wouldn't have to speak with sudden intruders.

"Refa?" She heard Atoubu call her to check if she was asleep. Red head wouldn't budge, she didn't wish to talk to this man now. Little Naito was there as well and they both decided that she was asleep. Refa thought that they would both leave now, however Atoubu walked over to her and touched her cheek. Refa almost flinched from the hot touch. She must have gotten some cold, if everything around seemed too hot. Or maybe it was just Atoubu's hand that seemed hot.

Then Atoubu pulled blanket over her chin and saw down right next to her and said: "...You're always reckless. Doing things you shouldn't do. A real fire spirit, you know that?" Atoubu said to the presumed sleeping Refa. She was bit surprised that he talked although in his mind, she was asleep. "But you're a great person. You're strong and you have an even stronger heart..."

"I'm not a hero...I'm a failure." Atoubu said with another bitter laugh. "That's what they all say. The dead. Every night they appear in my dreams, scorning me, blaming me. I guess I am to be blamed... Why didn't I save them? It's all my fault. Every day, I imagine what it would be like if I had saved them..."

"Enough about that...let's talk about you." Atoubu began talking after a little pause. "You took off so fast without waiting for us. We ended up losing you in the crowd and had to follow Kahlan instead. And to make things worst, you slept in the snow and ALMOST got PK-ed. Thank God Marius arrived on time."

"And I got some PKs for you too big sis. Smacked 'em far and wide." Naito quipped in the middle.

"Yea, the little kid's got some talent. He blew them off good." Atoubu admitted patting the kid's head. "Refa... I got you some hot chocolate. It'll be on the side table when you wake up. Don't go anywhere until you feel much better than you are now... I'm keeping watch on you."

Atoubu adjusted the blanket again, making sure Refa would achieve maximum comfort and heat to warm up her body. Suddenly Naito walked over to the other side and leaned in to do the unexpected. A kiss on Refa's right cheek. Refa almost jumped out of bed from the surprise. "Such a sweet little boy," She thought to herself and smiled so neither of them would notice.

"Big bro! You do it too! Mummy used to say if you kissed someone's cheek to wish them a good recovery when they're sick, it helps them recover faster," Naito explained, motioning for Atoubu to do it. Red head almost panicked. A kiss?! It was fine from little boy, but from fully grown man. No, no, no! But Refa was sure he wouldn't agree to do it.

Much to her surprise Atoubu leaned in to plant a gentle kiss on Refa's left cheek, whispering, "Warm up, <<Flaming Spirit>>." Well, it surely did the trick. Girl instantly turned bright red from head to toes. Luckily she was under the blanket and Atoubu couldn't see it. However the kiss had almost paralyzed her, she didn't even dare to move one finger for hours. And Atoubu and Naito, wouldn't leave either, they kept watch over her, until they finally fell asleep.

Finally Refa stood up from bed too see both of boys sleeping by her side, to help her get warm. She gently ruffled Naito's hair and then looked at sleeping Atoubu. She could have sworn that she saw a tear flow down his cheek. Red head sighed and gently ruffled his hair as well, a tiny hint of blush coloring her face while she did so. "You don't have to blame yourself for everyone's deaths, stupid," Refa quietly whispered. "People will die anyway, if they haven't died in this game, then they would have died some day from old age. People are not immortal and we cannot protect everyone. You don't have to blame yourself for their deaths. In this game, there is only one person responsible. Kawakami Yoshihiro!"

With that note Refa got into more comfortable position in bed and continued to rest with two of her friends and her loyal pet by her side.

"I...I-I'm really sorry Kahlan. I know you mean well but... I don't think I can associate myself with any group for now... I..." Shineda reached under his hood to whip his face, and presumably his tears. "I need some time... I'll think about it. But for now..."

And with that, he was gone again. Kahlan still knelt there motionless. What had she done wrong? If he was so worried about the boy then why did he not accept her offer? Was she going to fail again like the last time? Kahlan's fists balled up tightly as she fought back unwanted tears. Of course she was going to fail again. What was she to him anyway. She had just poured her heart out to some stranger once again, a habit she always had. He probably was uncomfortable about her display of affection. Kahlan chuckled sadly at herself. After all..... She had only met him a few hours ago.

"It's just like that last time....." She whispered softly.

Kahlan knelt there on the ground for a few more long minutes before she found the strength to stand up again. Marius was nearby. Oh Marius... Why couldn't she be as carefree as him? His energy and friendliness always made her smile. The other two as well. She would find them tomorrow for sure and ask them to join her little two man party.

Kahlan wiped her eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this Marius. I'm so embarrassed. I didn't even know who he was and yet I said those things to him." She sniffed. Where was her room? Oh... she hadn't gotten one yet. But she was so tired. Emotionally drained, Kahlan felt like she was about to fall over any second now.

"Ahh... I forgot to get a room for the night.. I'll be right back..." Kahlan stumbled to the stairs. Geez... She was never going to make it down. Kahlan looked at Marius once again and chuckled softly. "Umm on a second thought. Would you mind if I stayed with you tonight? I don't think I have enough strength to get down the stairs."

Marius merely smiled at Kahlan's apology. Clearly he had caught the end of an emotional conversation. Marius responded "Don't worry about it. A lot of people trapped in this game need to vent emotion sometimes. It isn't healthy to keep it all bottled up." Marius couldn't help but chuckle at his response. What a hypocrite he was at that moment. Marius hadn't vented any of his pent up emotions for months. He had only done this once, and the person he vented to later tried to kill him and steal the <<Gemini Blade>>. He had almost gotten away with it too.

When Kahlan stumbled, Marius reached forward incase she was about to fall, but she made it back to her feet. Kahlan turned to him and said "Umm on a second thought. Would you mind if I stayed with you tonight? I don't think I have enough strength to get down the stairs." . Marius opened his mouth to answer before he processed the question. Realizing what she had just asked, Marius's face turned slightly red as he fumbled a bit for words. "Well..... I..... Um..... Uh...." Marius's inner critic spoke up in his head. Marius, what the hell are you doing? It's just one night, and you're both mature people. Man up! Clearing his throat, Marius said "It's fine. I have a sleeping bag item from long grinding sessions, so I'll take the floor. You can have the bed." With that, Marius slowly headed towards his room, going slowly in case Kahlan needed help, and opened the door.

Kahlan was about to object to taking the boy's bed to his OWN room but the thought of flopping down on a soft warm bed seemed to tempting to turn down the offer so Kahlan breathed a satisfied, "Thanks." as she followed him into the room making sure she was careful not to fall and hit her head. The alcohol probably had something to do with this as well. Though being familiar with alcohol from the real world, she still felt the affects of the stuff nonetheless. Her cheeks were a bit red and the world seemed to be spinning all around her as she continued to the room. It usually didn't hit her this bad but her exhaustion probably was the reason why she was having so much trouble. As the girl finally made it inside the room, the sight of a bed was almost heavenly.

"Excuse me for intruding." She managed to mutter as she moved towards the bed.

Finding some energy to lift her hand and open her inventory, Kahlan unequipped her armor. Though it had almost literally become one with her body since she wore it almost all the time, the feeling of it finally off after the battle was pure bliss. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, the girl tugged her on her hair and the neat braid fell loose into a wavy tangle of golden strands. She looked terrible, but she didn't really mind. Her hair would be back to normal at the click of a button by tomorrow morning. How convenient this game was.

Without any hesitation, Kahlan stretched herself over the bed and closed her eyes. "Mmmmm..... Night Marius...."

Marius entered the room after Kahlan, the alcohol he had drank finally affecting his system too. He hadn't drank as much as Kahlan, organizing the groups escape from the bar and all, but he certainly felt it now. He followed Kahlan into the room behind her. As he objectified his sleeping back and set it next to the bed, he caught a glimpse of Kahlan removing her armor and undoing her braid. Unbidden thoughts of how this just made Kahlan look cute were immediatly pushed back down into the subconcious depths from which they came. Marius just looked up at the ceiling from his sleeping bag and uttered a shy "Goodnight..."

Seeing part of the emotional exchange between Kahlan and the cloaked player reminded him even more of his own expierience with such a discussion, and how it had gone horribly wrong. He couldn't help but pull the reminder he kept of that little incident out of his inventory. It was a shiny piece of metal by the item name <<Air Blade Fragment>>. It was all that was left of the blade that player from the first boss fight had given him, a blade which had saved his life. He contemplated ever telling anyone what secrets he kept beneath his friendly exterior. About his life outside, about the accident, or even about what had created this weapon fragment. If there was anyone he would talk to about it, it would probably be Kahlan. Too tired to think on it anymore, Marius rolled over and fell asleep.

As the night fell, the moon was at it's peak and Shineda's nightmares grew more and more painful for him, he awoke with a start. Sweat and tears meld until it wasn't clear which was which. He looked at Refa, afraid he might have woken her up. No. She was in a different position now, but she definitely wasn't awake. It was just him and the caressing darkness. The hot chocolate on the table was quite empty by now... Refa must've drank from it a few hours ago.

He went outside for the bathroom, washing off the sweat and tears from his face. Looking at himself in the mirror, the shadowy cloak seemed to pull the darkness towards him.

'Yea...that's what I am...a person only fitted to hide in the shadows.' Shineda thought sadly to himself, 'Not some extravagantly dressed hero.'

He returned to the room to find the two still sleeping. He pulled the scattered blanket back over Refa once more and moved Tatsu into bed next to the girl. Ruffling the child's hair with a gentle smile, Shineda thought through all the events that happened today.

'Was this destiny? Was it God's work? Or was it just Yoshihiro's doing?'

Refa, Marius, Canon, Asher, Kahlan...and Tatsu. Shineda smiled to himself. What had he gotten himself into?

And Kahlan...she yet again approached her even in a different form and this time, they talked far more than before. So much was revealed today... Shineda pulled up his inbox and ran through the messages Kahlan had sent him, that he had never replied. Finally, Shineda realized just how much she had tried to contact him upon actually reading through all of them and counting each message.

'...Idiot.' Shineda looked up through the window to see the moon and decided. Memories of his family seemed to play through in the beautiful night sky. It was so beautiful... it was hard to imagine the dangers that were out there...Yoshihiro...

Shineda sighed and typed out a message,sending it to Kahlan.

"Dear Kahlan,

I'm doing well. I hope you are too.
...I know it may be a little late now, but, I'm sorry.
I just needed sometime to think. And I think I've made a decision.

So next time, I'll listen to your story and I'll tell you mine.

...When we meet...we'll team up, won't we?

Sleep well and good night, <<Azure Paladin>>."

It was short, true... but it was all Shineda could think off... and it held everything Shineda wanted to convey. He felt at peace for once, no longer alone to deal with things. Maybe except for the burden of the deaths upon his shoulders.

For the first time, Shineda smiled a smile that was relaxed and carefree, the moon lighting his face as he leaned against the window, watching Refa and Tatsu having their well-deserved sleep.