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- 93 posts here • Page 4 of 4 • 1, 2, 3, 4
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She nodded, pretending to believe me. "You look lovely too." She said, smiling tentatively. "Where did you get your dress?"
I groaned internally. If Christy was trying to win Thalia over, girl talk wouldn't be the way. "Salad, anyone?"
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"I'm.." She sounded unsure of herself. "I'm from here, yes. I go to a highschool pretty close to the beach where we met." She nodded her head in my direction. "Today, we had cheerleading practice. It's summer, but if we want to go anywhere next year in the league, we've got to keep it up."
"Oh, so you do it competitively?" I said conversationally.
"Oh yes." This was a topic Christy liked. I could see it in her eager smile. "We do quite well, really, And this year we have a new coach. She's amazing. We're hoping to go far with her."
I smiled at the rest. "Thalia's good at reading books. Too bad there aren't competitions in that area."
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I raised my glass of wine, gesturing for a toast. 'To Christy and Alec!' I said mockingly, 'I am sure both of you will be very, very happy together.'
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Mine did not hold back my own. "Put your glass down." I snapped. "You're making yourself look ridiculous. As you always do."
Christy downed her glass and held it out for more. I filled it up in the silence. The bottle was nearly finished. Maybe I'd break out the beers if worst came to worst.
"Anyway," she said, picking at her salad. "So, that's it, really. What do you do, Alec?"
"I play some soccer. Hang out with friends. Video games. Not much." I rubbed my thumb across the back of her hand. I decided not to mention of martial arts club I was in. Rather not add fuel to the 'violent' flame Thalia conjured.
"And you're from Chicago? I've never been there. It must be so very beautiful." She tried smiling at James. "You're from around here too, right?"
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The question startled me and I turned to look surprised at James, realizing I was still lost in my thoughts about getting back to Alec. 'I think so too. Though I haven't had the chance to discover it fully. I personally dislike noise and clamor, I am the quiet type, you know? Isolation suits me more than crowds. I'm not entirely sure California is the place for me.'
'Well,' James began, leaning in to look into my eyes, 'There are places you haven't been to yet. And I could show you them all. If you would like that of course.'
I nodded, smiling. 'I would, James, I would indeed. You're a sweetheart,' I said pointedly, then pressed my lips against his warmly, my fingers brushing by the side of his jawline. I didn't need to check to guess at Alec's expression. James was startled momentarily by the kiss, but then relaxed and returned it softly, smiling as he did so. I almost felt guilty for using him.
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"Let's go to the sitting room and watch a movie, Christy." I said through gritted teeth. "The kitchen is occupied."
"But.. Our dinner."
"It'll still be here when the movie is over. Those two won't be eating anything but each others' faces."
Christy stood up reluctantly. I could tell she wanted to be anywhere but here, but she couldn't face herself to ditch me. I took her hand and squeezed it, trying to look reassuring. "What movie?" She asked quietly.
"Any one you want."
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'What the hell are you doing, Evans?'
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"Christy's a sweet girl. Probably the nicest I've ever brought home. But you're being the biggest bitch." I spat the word, poison dripping from every letter. "What the hell is the matter with you?" That wasn't really what I wanted to know. Why are you letting that guy all over you? I stopped speaking for a moment, for fear of my voice betraying anything other than anger.
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There were tears in my eyes now, but I held them back stubbornly, my nails digging into the skin of my palms. No. I would not give him this pleasure, wouldn't let him see. 'You never cared about me. Looking back at it,' another blow, higher, reaching for his collarbone, but I could feel exhaustion washing over my limbs, 'I wish it had never happened. That we had never happened.'
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I let the silence reign in the otherwise empty room, words unspoken thudding in my head. When I did open my mouth to speak, my voice did not sound like my own. 'I wish you did. It's easier to push you away if I am convinced that you do.' I let go of him and let my back slouch against the wall, looking down at my feet, my head feeling too heavy on my shoulders. The loud ringing if a headache. Great. A smile curled up the corners of my lips, slowly, a chuckle, harsh, ripped out from my throat. 'And now what?'
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I allowed myself to imagine convincing her I hated her. A smirk in the face of her pain. A kiss on the lips of Christy. Leaving her alone right now. They would all do it. An easy thing to do, a terrible thing to live with.
Hardly breathing, I brought my numb hand up to cup her face, a thing I imagined doing a hundred times in the last week alone. I brushed my thumb across her cheekbone, revelling in her soft skin, choosing not to remember what had stopped me before. When she did not move, neither to reject nor accept my touch, I closed the distance between us. I slid the fingers of my other hand around her neck, threading them into the locks of her hair. In the silence of the room, I could hear the ticking of the kitchen clock, a quiet reminder life continued while we were frozen in our own world.
Hesitantly, I pulled her face up towards mine. Her eyes were closed. In this proximity, I could see the purple pools under her eyes that no powder could completely conceal. Strangely enough, that bruised, delicate skin made her seem more beautiful. I pressed my lips against her forehead. "I don't want to pretend to hate you anymore."
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Slowly, I opened my eyes. And I was taken aback. The storm in his own, raging, and I was incapable to decipher what it meant. 'And what will we do, then?' I whispered, not trusting myself to speak louder, 'Play the happy, normal family that we aren't? This is killing me, Alec, killing me.'
I wrenched myself free and looked away again, my arms crossed, hands clutched tightly below my shoulders, trying to stabilise the shaking. I took a deep breath. 'I didn't plan to tell you. I'm moving out. Far away. If I get into Medicine. I can't stand this any longer.'
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College.
"We still have time." I told the fan. "Before that happens. We can still make it better before then." I opened my eyes and looked back down at her. Her arms were wrapped around herself, as if she were making sure she wouldn't fall to pieces. She looked so very small. "You can't expect me to give up. And I can't let you give up." I felt a laugh bubble up my throat at how clichéd my words were, but forced it down. Now was not the time to laugh.
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College.
"We still have time." I told the fan. "Before that happens. We can still make it better before then." I opened my eyes and looked back down at her. Her arms were wrapped around herself, as if she were making sure she didn't fall to pieces. She looked so very small. "You can't expect me to give up. And I can't let you give up."
- 93 posts here • Page 4 of 4 • 1, 2, 3, 4