Evans House

During the drive back home we hardly exchanged a word. I felt stark exhaustion wash over me, but somehow I could not close my eyes, for fear the images would return behind shut eyelids. Medwin's hand clutched mine reassuringly. Sometimes he'd glance at me to make sure I was okay but nothing further. When we finally reached my house, he half-carried me, half-helped upstairs in my room.
"I'll go downstairs and bring you something warm to drink." he said and he left me to change in my own nightgown.
It didn't seem as though I'd be able to stop the trembling anytime soon, so I folded my knees and wrapped my arms around them, my head resting atop them. That's how he found me when he returned, his red hair falling in his eyes. Medwin sat next to me on my bed, as he had done a dozen times before.
"Here." he said, handing me a hot mug. I breathed in and I sensed a faint smell of chocolate. I muttered a 'Thank you' and took a slow sip.
For a while, we were all alone in silence, the only sound disturbing it being the constant rattling of my teeth. Finally, he couldn't wait any longer, as I had predicted.
"Thalia...what happened back there?" he asked, taking away the mug from my trembling hands.He put it on my desk then returned his gaze to me.When I didn't answer, he sighed somewhat angrily."You call me, telling me to come over to your house, yet all I get is a note about someone else's address and you telling me to get Alec's car and come find you there. Before I am able to comprehend what it is that I am doing, I am already driving there.What do I see?" his hands clench into tight fists." You and Alec, beaten bloody and you gagged, being hauled over inside a car by some stranger. If I might say so myself, it didn't look very friendly."
"Medwin-"
His voice raises."And if all that wasn't enough to make me sick with worry, I decide to follow behind. The man drives you out of the city, takes you to the bridge, and from what my feeble mind could conceive, was about to murder Alec and perhaps you, before I miraculously intervened and saved you both. I don't know who that guy was. I don't know what your relationship with him was, but I know that he is dangerous. I think I deserve an explanation."
So, in the darkness of my room, I talked to him. The words flew from my mouth, reluctantly at first, sticky with hesitation and fear and shame, then flooded my mind with fear and desperation and need. Medwin was a good listener. He didn't interrupt, didn't gasp at the horrid parts, didn't frown when tears started falling from my eyes. As time passed, I found myself wrapped in his arms, my hand clutching his shirt to keep him close. Medwin was stroking my hair soothingly. Crying makes one prone to falling asleep, but I had nightmares that night, like every other night, only worse. Every time I woke up, he was there to reassure me, to hold me and give me his hand when I needed it. I lay on his chest and his eyes interlocked mine and I felt secure and safe. I think I finally managed to have a peaceful sleep when the first shafts of light began to enter through the blinds. I don't remember much after that. Just that he was there, chasing all my demons away.

In the morning, Clarissa extracted herself from Alec's slack hold and went to fetch two coffees. When she got back, she didn’t have to heart to wake him. He looked so exhausted and the morning light brought out his wounds in sharp contrast with his tender unbroken skin. His right eye was swollen shut, and his chin was coated in a cracked layer of dried blood. For a moment, Clarissa felt the urge to call her mother and sob. But Mother thought tears were always an overreaction, no matter the circumstances. Besides, Mother would simply tell her to get rid of her problem by shipping him to a hospital. That would take care of it, in her opinion. And then she would get fed up with Clarissa if she didn’t listen. She could call Alex too. But that had to wait until later. Catching sight of the carefully opened letters on her desk, her heart twisted. She slipped them into a drawer. She didn't have time to worry about that, she told herself. She could worry later. After telling Alex. And then her family. She ran a hand through her tangled hair and winced when her fingers caught onto a particularly tight knot. Later.

At twelve, Alec started to wake. Clarissa had already drunk both of the coffees, but the coffee shop was a short walk away. She slipped out and back in just in time to see him pushing his sheets back. “Is that coffee?” he asked sleepily.

“Yeah. Good thing it’s strong. You look dead.”

“I make it fashionable.” He crawled out of the bed and immediately dropped himself onto her chair. His whole body was killing him. It burned to even breathe. But the worst was his arm. The painkillers from last night weren’t enough. He downed the coffee to stop himself from cursing. But even that hurt his other arm and throat. Clarissa gave up trying to make conversation with him after her third attempt. She seemed to understand he wasn’t capable of talking just yet. She put a painkiller and a glass of water at his elbow before going to change the sheets again. Mentally, he thanked her for her silence.


After he finished the coffee, he asked if she could drive him home. She was reluctant. He was supposed to rest. So was Thalia. She would take care of him, and surely Medwin was taking care of her. They couldn’t take care of each other. But Alec was vehement. He said he would walk if he had to. Knowing that he would do just that and make a scene all over campus, she finally agreed. On the condition she could walk in with him and make lunch for the pair of them. Alec protested, but she wasn’t going to back down either.

On the ride home, Alec angled himself towards the window and didn’t say much. She drove more carefully than usual, taking the routes with the least amount of speed bumps. She had brought all the cushions from her room and surrounded Alec with them.

When they arrived, Alec stiffened. Clarissa saw it too. Medwin’s car was outside. “Oh, look. He stayed to take care of her, just like I thought he would. Maybe I won’t need to make lunch.” Clarissa said breezily.

Alec didn’t reply and pushed himself out. He limped quickly to the front door. Clarissa followed behind, uncertain what to do. He was fumbling with the keys when she reached him.

“Down, boy.” Clarissa said sharply, taking the keys out of his hands. “You should be thankful he stayed the night with her. She shouldn’t have been alone after what happened. He’s probably on the couch.” She inserted the keys and twisted. “Go in there with an open mind. And whatever you do, don’t get angry. You’ll be the fool.”

He pushed the door open. “Thaila?” he called out.

“Shut up, moron. She could be asleep.” Clarissa hissed. He didn’t even check the sitting room, but hobbled to the stairs. He looked at her imploringly. She deliberately opened the sitting room door and stuck her head in. Her heart dropped. It was untouched. She didn’t think it meant anything, but Alec would. The jealous bastard. She slipped into her poker face and returned to him. “They’re upstairs. I’ll help you up.” He had already climbed three steps. “You’re so impatient.” She grumbled, slipped her arm around his waist. They reached the top faster than she thought they would. He reached out to open Thalia’s door but Clarissa stretched her arm out to cover his, “Remember which bed you spent last night in. Don’t be a hypocrite.”

“You have a boyfriend. You’re not in love with me.” He said through gritted teeth. “Let me through.”

Clarissa pulled her hand back and turned away. She didn’t want to witness him degrading himself further.

Inside, Alec found them both on her bed. Thalia looked as tranquil as he had ever seen her in a long while. She was pressed into Medwin’s chest, her face upturned to him. Her lips were open and she was breathing steadily. When she breathed out, her bottom lip touched his neck. His head was above hers and his hands held her head and waist to him. It was the first time Alec had ever seen him without his glasses. He was torn between fury and loathing to break her sleep. He stepped out and gestured angrily to the bed. “Tell me the way they’re sleeping together is just as innocent and how we slept.”

“I’m not getting involved, Alec. You know what I don’t want you to do, and I think you’re going to do it anyway.” She sat down on the steps. “I should actually leave.” But she didn’t move.

Alec left her and limped back into the room. He yanked the blinds open and turned to them. “Good afternoon, guys.” He said loudly as if the sun hadn’t done the job of harshly waking them up yet. “You’re definitely enjoying it, Medwin. If you’re not ready to sit up yet, that’s okay, I understand. Actually, I wouldn’t be able to understand if you were able. She is very beautiful when she sleeps.”

Outside, Clarissa closed her eyes. He was starting out well.

"What the-" Medwin muttered, shifting beneath Thalia's feeble weight. "Are you insane, Evans? What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked, rubbing his eyes and blinking. His hand reached to the desk to grab his glasses. Medwin found them and pushed them up to the bridge of his nose, now able to see clearly.
I stirred, still half-asleep, not quite sure what was going on. I had a horrible headache, ringing on both my temples. "Medwin, is...is Alec here?"
Medwin's arms tightened around me, almost possessively. "Yes, he is. And he is certainly so exquisitely subtle. She hardly had any sleep, Evans." he said accusingly, his teeth gritted tightly in anger. "At least be kinder. You caused enough trouble already."
My eyes shot open and I sat up hastily, my hand gripping Medwin's teeth waringly. "Medwin, you have absolutely no right to-"
"I have every right to. If your boyfriend wants to play daredevil he can do so without endangering your life."

Alec glared at him. “That’s it, you’ve already outstayed your welcome. Out.” He walked to the door and opened it wider. He spread his arms out wide, mockingly inviting. “My friend Clarissa is out there, but even though she’s taken, which I know is your type, she’s not interested. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.”

Medwin scoffed but didn't move a muscle apart from that. "And leave you with her? So that you can make her feel worse than she already does? I don't think so, Evans. I'm staying."
"Medwin, please." I pushed my hair out of my face and pressed my fingers against my temple. The pain wouldn't go away. I cursed internally. "Alec wouldn't do such thing. He's hurt, try to understand. It was harder for him than me."
"Take your goddamn selflessness somewhere else, Thalia, because all of us know the truth of this. Until I am certain he won't do to you exactly what Gareth did, I'm not going anywhere."

Alec’s face turned ashen. He didn’t say anything right away. But he found his voice quick enough. “That just shows how utterly ignorant you are for such a studious boy, kid.” The fury in his voice was controlled for now. He hadn’t moved an inch closer, but now he was leaning forward aggressively. “I think you’ll have realized Thalia never loved those who did that to her. As much as you want to be her knight with plastic glasses, she hasn’t completely lost her senses. So rest assured, you won’t ever need to protect her from me. Unless, which I don’t doubt, you’d love to find some excuse.”

Alec’s face turned ashen. He didn’t say anything right away. But he found his voice quick enough. “That just shows how utterly ignorant you are for such a studious boy, kid.” The fury in his voice was controlled for now. He hadn’t moved an inch closer, but he was leaning forward aggressively. “I think you’ll have realized Thalia never loved those who did that to her. As much as you want to be her knight with plastic glasses, she hasn’t completely lost her senses. So rest assured, you won’t ever need to protect her from me. Unless, which I don’t doubt, you’d love to find some excuse.”

I pushed myself off the bed and pressed my arm against my stomach when a slash of pain cut through me. "Stop it, both of you, now. You're acting like hounds, trying to tear each other apart and for what? I don't need anyone's protection, I'm no maiden in distress, clear?"
Medwin wrapped his arm around me and pressed me close to his body, still eyeing Alec apprehensively. "If I hadn't been there, you'd have had her killed, Evans. Her love for you, if there is any, is destroying her."
I pushed him away from me, my fists clenched. I was grateful to Medwin, immensely so. But this was crossing the line. "Medwin, get out. Now. I will not allow this to go on any longer. Go home and we'll talk. I will not have this. It's nothing but lies and-"
"Is it, now?" He asked, a sad smile on his lips.

Watching Medwin wrap his arms around her like she was his nearly made Alec flip. But he wouldn't. It's not what she needs, he tried telling himself. You would just prove him right. Watching her push him away herself was like the perfect reward. But then he tried to pull on her emotions by smiling at her.
"It is." Alec answered, knowing that he wasn't so sure himself. "Now that the two occupants of this house have kindly asked you to fuck off, I might have to be a little bit more convincing. You're unwanted and unneeded here."

"Is that so?" Medwin looked down at me, but I refused to meet his eyes. I slowly detached myself and stumbled further away. "I see how it goes."
There were some brief moments of silence and then suddenly he grabbed his coat and pushed past Alec, walking out of my room, his steps heavy and and hard.
"Medwin, wait." I called, following him down the stairs. He was already downstairs, going for the door. I cursed beneath my teeth as I slipped on the third-to-last step, hitting my leg in the process. He turned around momentarily when he heard me cry out and stared at me. Reluctantly, he pulled me up and turned to leave.
"I said, wait." I told him, grasping his wrist. I still couldn't bear to look at him, but I knew I had to. I owed him that much.

Alec limped after them, not to eager about stopping Medwin from leaving, but wanting to see what would happen. Clarissa came to the hallway when she heard Thalia gasp but slipped back into the kitchen when she saw Medwin help her up, unnoticed by them all. Alec had reached the middle of the staircase when Thalia reached out to take hold of his wrist. He tried his best to refrain from reacting. He may dislike and distrust Medwin, but he trusted her. She would never cheat, never lead him on, so this touch didn't worry him. What bothered him was that to Medwin, it meant so much more. And to him personally, it meant more time having to deal with him under his roof. Gingerly, he continued to walk down each step until he was behind Thalia.

He turned around, covering her hand with his."I'm waiting,then.Go on. Be quick about it."
"I just...I wanted to thank you. For everything you've done for me.For us both!" I corrected myself quickly."Without you...I don't know what would have happened to us, Medwin."
He had expected more and still did. When I didn't continue, he grinned, but it was a twisted smile, full of contempt and sadness.
"I want to say a big 'Thank you' as well." He wrenched his wrist free from my grasp and faced both of us.
"To Douchebags!" he said, gesturing to Alec."And to girls that break your heart." he bowed his head to me.His eyes lost focus. "And to the absolute fucking horror of losing your best friend because you were stupid enough to fall in love with her.”
Before I could stop him, find the words to ease the storm inside his head, he left with quick long strides, and a loud slam followed. The door closed behind him.

Alec didn't speak. He hesitated, but then touched Thalia's tense shoulder. He wanted to say he was sorry. He honestly didn't want to fight with her best friend, he didn't want Medwin to hate him. But he couldn't stand it. Not they way Medwin was so obviously in love with her and so much more a better suited boyfriend. The one who actually saved her from her old step dad not put her in his grasp all over again. "I am so, so sorry."

Clarissa had hastily thrown a salad together. Besides, she wrote a note with a good pizza restaurant that delivered free. She took the slam of the door as her cue to leave. She quietly left out the backdoor, the silence ominous to her. But that was Alec's problem now. She had to return to her own problematic reality now.

"Sorry," I muttered. "You are so, oh so sorry!" I threw my hands up in exasperation. "Well being sorry solves nothing,does it, Alec!?"
I didn't want this. Didn't want to fight all over again, didn't want to upset him. His eyes were wide and bloodshot, exhaustion washing over the colour. I couldn't supress it all again,however. So much had happened and I was just scratching the edge of the damage that had been caused.
"I'm sorry too. On your behalf. How could you? I told you, I repeatedly told you, not to do anything stupid again." I realised I was already tearing up but those were tears of anger and exhaustion. "After all I went through with Kyle, how could you repeat your actions with Gareth!? You knew what it meant to me, Alec. You knew. And yet, there you went, playing the superhero as if I'm a maiden in distress. I can take care of myself. I was handling this. I was getting over it because of you. Not because you went all macho on a seemingly defenselles man, because you gave me love and care and you made me feel safe for once. Then you took it all away, trying to prove something, yourself or how much better you are than him," I gestured towards the closed door Medwin had left from. " All out of your goddamn selfishness."

Somehow, even though I knew I deserved it, I couldn't believe it. I had actually thought she would understand, maybe even stop me from blaming myself. I was unconsciously counting on it. Every word she spoke was a dagger, laced with cold honesty that entered my veins, making me freeze. At last, she came to the end of all she had to say and fixed me with her penetrating glare. Her anger seemed to darken her grey eyes, making them look bottomless. "All out of your goddamn selfishness." That was the brutal twist of the knife that I had hoped would never come. I didn't want her to think I was selfish. I wanted her to know that I never meant to be selfish, that I had thought I was doing it for her. My lips were numb and my throat ached. Her dark eyes weren't wavering. She stared on at me, silently demanding a response, for me to answer for my actions. Perhaps it was the realization that no one was going to defend me that thawed me out. I swallowed back the painful lump in my throat and opened my mouth to speak. But I couldn't find the words. Her eyes watched on, never any less infuriated, never any less hurt.
"I.. My intention was never to hurt you." I said lamely. "And it may have seemed selfish, but it didn't seem so to me, not at the time." I stepped closer. "I did it because I love and care for you. I wanted you to feel safe."

"Oh thank you, I feel very safe now." I said sarcastically, throwing myself on the leather couch. "I didn't just spend the night trying to save your life and stop my bleeding. All you did, was put us both in great danger, sweetheart," I spit the last word out, "If you honestly think what you did would protect me you're delusional. And you know what, Alec?"
I sat up and rested my hand on my face, staring at him.
"I just decided I can't and don't want to deal with a delusional person right now. "

My heart dropped out of my body and smashed onto the floor. Oh God, it really felt like there was a gaping hole in my chest, an empty, airless chamber. The sized of the hole grew, restricting my breathing. I stumbled toward the sofa and knelt shakily next to her. "W-what do you mean? What are you saying?" I knew what she was saying. I saw it, in those damn bewitching eyes of hers. She was going to leave me, leave me completely hooked, and her completely unaffected. I'd be a funny story of hers, one she'd laugh at quietly to herself but would be ashamed to let other people know about. "N-no, Thalia." I grasped her fingers with my uninjured hand. "Don't. Please, no."

I feigned disgust and pulled my fingers out of his hand firmly. "You should've thought about my pleas and my begging you not to do anything like that. It's over, Alec. We are over." I forced myself to smile a seemingly calm grin. "It was good while it lasted,I'll give you that. Kyle wasn't half as interesting,I admit." Now I knew I was hurting him but I also knew Alec. I had to make this loud and clear or else he'd come back and I wasn't strong enough to go on with this act forever. I just felt tired, so tired... and disappointed, scared. I needed him, even after all he had done, but for his sake and mine, I had to end it. "I trust we both had our fun. Now it's time to move on,mhm? What do you think,baby?"

"You.. You can't.. Just..." This wasn't happening. She wasn't doing this. Not with a grin on her face. No, that grin was fake. I had memorized her real smile, it wasn't this. But what was real was her deliberately hurting me to get rid of me. Comparison with..that disgusting excuse of a boy. It was fun. Calling me baby. I rocked back on my heels and used my rejected hand to push me up. I could play this game too. I could. I really could.
"Cool." I couldn't manage a smile, but at least I could make myself cold. "You're right. It was exciting at the start, but the cost of it all is just far too much. I mean, I broke my arm for a couple nights with you. Not exactly what I signed up for. Glad to know this is mutual." God, she knew I was lying. I was near collapsing. I couldn't keep my pathetic facade up much more. "I trust you can make your own lunch now. I've got homework. Later."

I waited for him to go upstairs, watching him, my face a mask of stone. Every step of his came too slow for me to bear. When I heard the door slam above I stood up and went to the kitchen, locking the door behind me. I could barely stand and yet my face was calm. My body slipped towards the floor quietly, gracefully even. I brought my knees to my chest and rocked myself back and forth silently, humming to keep the whimpers down. A song. The one he had played that day when he-
" ...for a couple nights with you."
The tears would not come. I knew that no matter how much I cried and yelled and hit myself, nothing would change. As I knew this was the right thing to do. I don't know how much time passed, with me lying on the cold tiled floor, humming madly a song the meaning of which I had long forgotten. When that single tear, that small droplet of salty liquid came, it did nothing to fix a damn thing.

Two months later...

"Thalia, could you tell Alec to come downstairs? We're eating and if he wants to go out on time, he has to hurry," Elizabeth, my mother said to me as she put the salad bowl on the kitchen table. Eric was arranging the cutlery in the strange way she had shown him, carefully placed all over the table.
"Mom,can't you-" I started but a look of hers stopped me right away.
"You two hardly speak to each other and that's something you have to get over,Thalia. At least you. Now, go."
I stomped all the way upstairs and banged my fist on his door as loudly and rudely as I could. "Dinner.Food.N o w." I ordered, before almost jumping down the stairs again and hurrying into the kitchen. Mom looked at me questioningly and I nodded. "Eric, the stove dear," she instructed turning to my step-father.

Eric hurried to the stove and stared at the knobs, complexed. "Wait, which one do I turn? I keep on forgetting." As he fumbled with them, I sauntered in, yawning. I wasn't wearing a shirt and I was bear foot, which seemed reasonable to me - it was so damn hot. "Here, Dad. Look at the dots." I stretched my newly healed arm out and showed him.
"Why don't you do it?" He grumbled. "Everyone else helps make dinner and you're just upstairs doing nothing."
"Hey, I only just got my cast off. Don't blame me, blame the wet floor two months ago." I took over the stove and Dad went back to the comfortably simple job of setting the table.
"I'm so glad it healed all right, Alec." Elizabeth said kindly. "Your father nearly died when you called us to say you broke your arm!"
"I did not." Eric protested.
I didn't answered and turned off the stove. I could tell Dad was frowning at my back. It pissed him off how I never bothered to get to know Elizabeth, or even the fact that I insisted on calling her her full name although no one else did. "Get a shirt on, son. It may be summer, but it's dinner time and even though you don't act polite, you're going to look it."
"Why? It's not like we're eating with anyone important." I shrugged.
"Alec." I could tell Dad was restraining himself. Maybe it wasn't polite to argue at dinner time either. "Go get a shirt."
"Fine. While I'm away, go throw this out. Under your care, it got burnt." I pushed the pot away and went into the laundry room. I grabbed a shirt from the pile of clothes to be ironed. I hated it when Elizabeth ironed my shirts. I didn't want her effort.
When I reentered the kitchen, everyone was seated. Sighing, I sat down across from Thalia. Same routine, different day.
"So!" Dad said, a fresh new smile on his face. "As Alec so nicely displayed, it is summer. And we're lucky this year. Our holidays are more or less the same dates. Where will we go?"
I stared in horror at Dad. My summer, alone with those three?

I played with my fork, hearing the clinging sounds it made as it rose and fell. "Hell." I muttered. Mom glared at me sideways.I quickly glanced up at Alec, at his horrified face and scowled. So,the thought of us being so close for the summer was as terrible as it was for me. Lovely.
"I don't want to go anywhere. I have studying to do." I declared a little louder. "But if you want to get out of this stinking city, by all means, go. You deserve a bit of rest." I gave Eric a smile. At least someone had to make an effort around here.

"You've done enough studying, Thalia." Eric said earnestly. "And of course you could bring a couple books if you want. But we..that is, your mother and I, thought it would be nice to, as you put it, get out of is stinking city. We were thinking Florida." He smiled at Elizabeth. "It'd be a nice break. A chance to really get to know each other." This, he aimed at me.
I rolled my eyes.
"It's right by the beach. A really nice apartment, small but nice. We have it for the summer, it's my sister's, but she's going to Mexico on a work trip."
"When do you want to go?" I asked, turning around in my chair to face him. "Maybe I have plans this summer. Unless you're saying I can bring Amy with me."
Eric chuckled. "Her name's Amy now? I thought it was Sarah."

I dropped the fork on the floor at that. The sound pierced my ears and I quickly ducked to pick it up before Alec could see the blood rushing to my face. I rose again, only to grip it tightly in my hand, until my knuckles paled.
"And you,honey?" Elizabeth asked hesitantly."How's Medwin? We haven't seen him in quite some time..."
"We haven't talked. I...I've been busy." Well, that was true, I suppose, I reassured myself, glancing up momentarily at Alec.
"Well, if you want you can tell him to join us. You guys can all hang out together," she went on cheerfully, holding Eric's hand in hers.
"He has his own plans," I drawled and suddenly realised how interesting my empty plate was, staring intently at it.

I watched Thalia intently as she stared determinedly at her plate. This was the first reaction I had gotten from her these last two months. When she broke it off, initially I had hoped she would cave in, return to me. Instead she buried herself in her books. I wasn't needed, that was clear. So what did this mean?
"Medwin would happily cancel any plans of his to see his darling Thalia." I lowered my voice to a mocking stage whisper. "His crush on her is the cutest thing since kitten gifs."
Eric didn't seem to understand the reference, but he didn't like my tone. He gave me a look, the one he had developed since 'ladies' lived in the house. The one that said "Shut the fuck up, you little bastard.". I still preferred the actual words though.
"Anyway, Amy was so excited when I told her I'd go to Millennium Park with her. I don't think I could let her down." This time, I watched her out of the corner of my eye.