I am not a very happy person at the moment. So, as all of you are probably aware, I want to be a teacher at some point in my life. I hold an extreme amount of empathy towards babies, children and teenagers as they are all looking for guidance in the world and some people just need some help getting there. I also feel it's important that by helping these children, you do not scar them psychologically, you do not abuse them physically, and you sure as fuck don't kill them in a fit of rage. After seeing Kingsman, a movie I was looking forward to, and after seeing all of these things being implied to have happen if not outright happening, I have absolutely no desire to see the second movie coming out this year. Let me get into my reasoning as to why I feel this way. Is it petty? Well, yes, but by default, I'm a very emotional person and my arguments could be considered extremely biased but let me just try to convey why I personally feel enraged by this movie. I'll start with what enraged me the least but still enraged me and work my way up from there.
Physical Abuse: So the main character, Eggsy, is abused by his step dad after his actual dad died in the Kingsman. He is punched, yelled at and treated like dirt by this absolute scumbag of a person. I'm not so much enraged by this as sadly, it's become common domain at least in movies where I live that the main character is abused physically by his parents in some way. Sometimes it leads to them being better people than the abusive parents, other times the main character becomes a psychotic serial killer (which is actually what commonly happens). It's still a problem but it's a trope at this point. My real issues come later.
Psychological Abuse: Eggsy escapes his parents and is drafted into the Kingsman and is training to become one. You'd expect he'd be treated at least somewhat better there. HAHAHAHA NOPE. Drowning, falling from a helicopter to their demise, being tied down and about to be hit by a train unless you tell your attacker what the Kingsman are, and adopting a dog since it was a puppy only to be told you have to kill it in order to pass and become a Kingsman. By the last one, I was done with these British assholes. I get that being a Kingsman requires a lot of heavy shit to happen as part of a government agency, but this is just fucking ridiculous. The dog isn't going to be a fucking Russian spy and since this was probably a test to see if Eggsy could handle any order, I would have shot the guy giving the order in the first place. Yes, it's revealed that the bullets in the guns are blanks. But no, I don't give a fuck, that's still going to traumatize the fuck out of Eggsy psychologically amongst all the other shit you're throwing on him. Roxy shooting her dog offscreen doesn't make this any easier as she was forced to "kill" an animal that she raised for so long.
Rage virus: Oh fucking boy, the doomsday thing that'll ruin the world. And oh god, did it do a good job at that. The virus that the main bad guy, Valentine, used to take over the world is an iPhone signal that lowers inhibitions but raises rage. This equals a lot of violence against a lot of people, lovers trying to kill one another and, here's my favorite part, a mother trying to kill her fucking infant with a cleaver. And yes, you do get to see her hack down the door while the infant is screaming in terror from the other side. It was at that point, near the end of the movie, that I gave up on Kingsman. At that point, my instinct to protect that child from its abusive as fuck mother and my heart is enraged at the directors of the movie and Mark Fucking Miller, the guy who wrote the comic that the movie was based off of, for putting an infant through this trauma! I don't care if after the virus got released, the mother tried to comfort the child and reassure her that she'll never hurt her daughter, because that's not fucking true. What I got out of this is that lowering inhibitions only makes you do what you really want to do but are too scared of the consequences to do. Adding on top of that raising up the rage factor and you have yourself a mother who secretly wanted to kill her infant daughter the whole time. This might be just me looking into it too deeply when it's just a mind control thing, but it got me so pissed off that at this point, I don't even fucking care.
So yeah, I'm way too emotional about movies and I care too much about children and dogs to ever want to see any other iteration of this franchise. Sorry for wasting your time but I just needed to get the rage out without screaming. So, there you go.
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