War and the Sea

SkullsandSlippers · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **SkullsandSlippers** on Sun Oct 27, 2013 8:31 pm

Isla closed her eyes and slipped her arms back around him though she was careful to make it as light as possible. Just enough to hold on. She felt as if she were drowning. Here on land with these emotions, these men she felt as if she was losing herself.

If she had a better understanding of all of this she could make sense of what she had felt when she had kissed Alysander. She could understand why is was different than with Nicholas yet so similar.

They rode on in silence. Isla felt hollow and empty. She had upset him, hurt his pride and she did not know how to fix it. She did not think it could be fixed. He likely would mock her for even trying.

The day felt long and they had just started on their journey. Her eyes were on the road. Her forehead rested lightly on his back.

She said nothing to him as they rode on.

LockandKey · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **LockandKey** on Sun Oct 27, 2013 9:09 pm

They were out of the forest soon and back under the clear blue sky, endless, rolling green hills on either side of them. They rode in an uncomfortable silence. Alysander was hyper aware of the arms wrapped around him, though she leaned away from him now, instead of pressing her cheek against his back as she usually did. Her light touch didn’t help; he was all too aware of the woman sitting behind him in the saddle. How were they going to make it to Skye without murdering each other?

He’d seen a river to their right, and he veered off the path to go in search of it. The horse needed water and rest, he needed to refill his supply, and it was time that they ate something. The meager breakfast of hot broth had not kept him full for long, and now he added hunger to the list of unpleasant things he was feeling.

They found the river and he brought the horse near the grassy bank. He slipped off and held his hands up to help Isla off the tall animal. His temper slightly cooled, he handled her more gently.

“The horse needs t’ rest,” he told her. “And we should eat somethin’.”

He took care of the horse before either of them though, unsaddling her, checking her hooves to make sure no pebbles had gotten lodged in her sensitive feet. He let her wander to the water, then returned to where he’d put the saddle and their belongings on the grassy knoll. Among his provisions were dried meat and vegetables that could be boiled into a decent stew or also eaten as they were, though they were bland without added seasoning. There were hard, biscuit-like disks of unleavened bread that would not parish for many months so long as they were not exposed to moisture. There were also travel cakes that Rhiannon had made- hard bars that consisted of oats, honey, fat, and dried fruit. They took up little room, but were a good source of energy. He would need to restock soon, he thought, looking over his supplies. He’d never had a small appetite, and it was hard to get a feeling of fullness on dehydrated food. If they did not reach a town by nightfall, they would make a fire to ward off any predators that might try to approach in the night. They could make a soup then, he thought, and tea. He didn’t want to take the time to make anything elaborate for their noon meal, however.

“Here,” he told Isla, returning with the packets of dried food. He settled down on the grass and took the cork out of his leather canteen, then took a long drink. He offered it to Isla, holding it out to her, then reached for one of the biscuits from the packet that he’d set between them.

SkullsandSlippers · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **SkullsandSlippers** on Sun Oct 27, 2013 9:32 pm

Isla was only vaguely aware that the horse was slowing. Alysander slipped out of the saddle. He held his hands up to her. Isla inhaled slowly and let him help her down. He was gentler and it actually made her feel worse.

Alysander commented that they should eat and Isla simply nodded. She walked to the water’s edge as he looked after the horse. She walked right to the edge. Isla knelt down and touched the cool water.

Her eyes closed. She wanted to jump in. She wanted to jump in and swim away. It was not the sea but it would take her there. It could take her home. Without my coat I have no home.

Her eyes opened and she looked over the river. I do not belong there and I do not belong here.

Isla turned as she heard Alysander’s footsteps. She stood and sat on ground beside him. Her eyes fell to the food and then to the canteen he held out to her.

She gently took it and placed her lips on it. A small trickle of water went over her lips. Isla held it back out to him. “Thank you.”

Isla could not look at him. He was eating but she could not bring herself to do the same.

“Alysander, I did not mean to anger you. I was overwhelmed. I went to the tent for food. I did not know what would happen. He told me I was the fairest creature. He kissed me but I pushed him away. I have never been wanted before and I thought....I thought I felt something when I kissed you but you felt nothing. I was confused but it does not excuse what I did and how I acted.”

Isla turned her head to look at Alysander now. Her head rested on her knees and her hair fell to the side.

“I wish I was better at handling emotions and having them make sense. They are too unfamiliar.”

LockandKey · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **LockandKey** on Sun Oct 27, 2013 9:48 pm

He knew Isla was apologizing and trying to make amends, but it was if he’d heard only one part of what she’d said, and the rest was muted to the level of background noise.

“He kissed you?” asked Alysander angrily. He was not necessarily angry with Isla now, but his blood boiled. “That bastard- how dare he? I wish we were back at his camp so I could show him a thing ‘r two. I don’ care if he is some laird with wealth and a fancy title. He kissed you?”

He looked at her, mouth slightly agape. His hands closed into fists at his sides. That man- that man that was old enough to be her father, had kissed Isla. Isla, who’d told that bastard she was his wife! Worse, it didn’t sound as if Isla had minded.

Wait, he wondered. Why is that worse? Why do I care if she enjoyed it? I don’t. I’m just mad because he had the nerve to kiss the woman he thought was mine. That’s the only reason I’m angry. Not because she may have enjoyed it.

Alysander felt beyond confused, torn in two directions, unsure even what his own feelings were. Isla was irritating, he reminded himself. She was irritating and whiny, and she’d made a fool of him. She was skinny and frail and not at all what he liked in a woman. She was inexperienced and had nothing to offer him.

So why did she seem like so much more than the sum of her parts? Part of him knew he was being unfair in his judgement of her, but he didn’t want the complication that being honest with himself would bring. It was easier to be angry with Lochcarron than to figure out his own feelings.

SkullsandSlippers · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **SkullsandSlippers** on Sun Oct 27, 2013 9:55 pm

"He kissed me and I pushed him away. I reminded him I was married. It was never my intention to make you look like a fool."

Isla flinched as Alysander ranted about Nicholas.

"He kissed me but I pushed him away. I kissed you but...."

Her voice was low, the last of her sentence dying off unfinished. Her eyes moved to look at the water.

"Seems silly does it not? All this bickering over keeping up appearances. I did not do a very good job. I will be more aware in the future. At least until we find Gareth. You were saddled with more than you bargained when Rhiannon told you to find me. I do not understand you or what I feel."

Isla stared off at the water, watching the current move.

"Why did he call you over?"

Her eyes caught sight of a few leaves floating on the surface. They danced and turned, dragged down the water by the current.

I wonder if he would dislike me more or less if he knew the truth of what I was and why I needed my coat.

LockandKey · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **LockandKey** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 5:47 pm

"Seems silly does it not? All this bickering over keeping up appearances.”

Actually, it didn’t seem silly to him at all, but pride and appearance weren’t concepts Isla seemed to fully grasp. He gave up trying and shrugged noncommitally.

“I did not do a very good job,” Isla continuted. “ I will be more aware in the future. At least until we find Gareth. You were saddled with more than you bargained when Rhiannon told you to find me.”

She was certainly right about that. He’d known the strange woman that had washed up naked on their shores would be a handful, but if he’d had any idea how much, he would have kissed sweet Rhiannon’s brow and told her she could have anything she wanted- except for a promise that he’d help Isla find Gareth.

“I do not understand you or what I feel."

Well, that made two of them.

They both stared at the water for a moment, each caught in pensive silence. Isla broke the quiet moment. "Why did he call you over?" she asked. Alysander looked at her levelly, mouth fixed into a straight line.

“Never ye mind, lass.”

His attention was pulled away from Isla at that moment, and anything she may have said in response. He looked up, listening to the sound that was getting louder, closer. It was a sound he knew....

“Someone’s coming,” he said abruptly, standing and walking up the slope of the river to see who was approaching. He shaded his eyes with one hand, looking at the vague figure approaching on a dark horse. No one we know, he thought. He was turning back toward Isla and the river when he heard a shout.

“Oy! Alexander! Isla!”

The man on horse was shouting at them, but he was shouting the wrong name. He turned back in confusion, and as the man neared it became apparent who it was. “One o’ them English found us,” he told Isla in an unhappy tone. “The odd one.”

Isaac reached them and brought up his horse beside theirs. He nimbly slipped off and jogged over to join them. “You two were quite hard to catch up to!” he said. He had a light sheen of sweat on his brow and it was making his hair stick to his forehead. “You took off fast, didn’t you? Is everything alright?”

Alysander glared at the other man. “I told ye we don’t want to travel with ye.”

Isaac tilted his head to one side. “I’m not traveling with you. I’m just going to the same place, following the same path as you and your wife.”

Alysander looked over his shoulder at Isla. “She’s not my wife,” he said darkly. She’d given up on pretending to be his wife, so he would as well.

Isaac looked surprised. “Oh, really? Well, that’s good,” he said, looking relieved. “ I think I love her.”

SkullsandSlippers · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **SkullsandSlippers** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 6:08 pm

“Never ye mind, lass.”

Isla sighed and stared at the water. He did not want to tell her and she knew there would be no way she could make him.

She pushed herself up to stand.

“I am going.....”

Alysander stood, his attention on the traveller on the road. She frowned. When he turned back to face her Isla relaxed.

“I am going to take a....”

“Oy! Alexander! Isla!”

Once again she was interrupted. She frowned. Isla moved closer to Alysander out of instinct as the man, Issac approached. She stopped dead where she was, about two feet from Alysander when he told him she was not his wife. It felt like all the colour had drained from her face.

Isla stared at Alysander.

“I think I love her.”

Isla’s eyes went wide but were still looking at Alysander. She turned slowly to look at Issac. Her eyes moved over him as if she was only now realizing he was there.

“Love? Me? I do not understand.”

Her voice was soft and low.

Isla looked to Alysander for help.

“Me?”

Turning back to face Issac she pointed at her chest.

“I do not understand what you mean.”

LockandKey · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **LockandKey** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 7:00 pm

Gaping at the man before him, Alysander turned to Isla to see if the statement had made any more sense to her than it had to him. She looked equally as mystified, not to mention quite taken aback. Alysander could not blame her.

“Love? Me? I do not understand. Me? I do not understand what you mean.”

The strange man was smiling that distant smile he’d worn before. Alysander suddenly recalled that Isaac had spent most of the night either staring at him as if he couldn’t quite make up his mind, or smiling serenely at Isla.

“Yes, you. You have quite kind eyes, did you know? Only, I thought you were married. Alexander said you were married be-”

“My name’s not ‘Alexander’,” the Scot interrupted irritably. He had immense trouble even pronouncing the name the way the other man had, unable to properly recreate the ‘x’ sound. “It’s Alysander.”

Isaac wasn’t listening. “So I’m very relieved that you’re not married after all. Why did you say you were?”

SkullsandSlippers · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **SkullsandSlippers** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 7:20 pm

Alysander looked at her but offered her no help. The look on his face told her he was as stunned and confused as she was.

A wonderful pair we make.

Isla’s eyes went to Issac. Her finger was still pointing at her own chest. Kind eyes? I do not...what does that mean?

A panic set into her chest. She wanted to run. Isla backed away towards the river. The men were caught up discussing Alysander’s name and why they had said they were married.

This is madness.

She felt angry and anxious. Isla wanted space to figure things out but knew it would not matter as no matter what she did nothing made sense.

Isla knelt in the grass at the water’s edge. Her hands reached in and began to splash the cool water on her face.

It took a moment but she finally felt less on edge. She stood and moved to the bags.

“We thought it safer to say we were married. Men tend not to bother married women who travel with their husbands. Tend not to....or so I am told. Less questions asked of us as well. It was supposed to be simpler.”

She kept her voice level. Isla looked at Alysander. “Is the horse rested?”

LockandKey · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **LockandKey** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 7:44 pm

Isla turned away and strode to the river’s edge. Had he embarrassed her? Upset her? Wasn’t professing his love the proper thing to do? Ralph had told him one night weeks ago that if he ever found a girl he fancied, he was to go up to her immediately and tell her he loved her. Ralph had said women liked honest, straight-forward men, and his reasoning had sounded correct. Had Ralph given him poor counsil?

Isaac’s face fell, disappointment evident. Alexander was looking at him, and he looked back, trying to determine how to proceed. When Isla returned, her pale face was wet, as were the ends of her dark hair. They’d fallen forward into the water when she’d decided to wash her face, he observed, and now they hung wet and heavy against her dress.

“We thought it safer to say we were married.” The kindness had disappeared from her eyes, replaced with some other emotion. Was she angry with him? Scared of him? He’d never understood people very well and couldn’t make out exactly what had transpired, but she didn’t seem pleased. “Men tend not to bother married women who travel with their husbands. Tend not to....or so I am told. Less questions asked of us as well. It was supposed to be simpler.”

Isaac tilted his head in confusion. Had he complicated things? Was she upset? She turned to her husband- no, not her husband. Her non-marital companion.

“Is the horse rested?” she asked him. Isaac turned away from them. She wanted to leave, to get as far away from him as possible. Maybe confessing his feelings had been a terrible idea.

“Aye,” he heard the man say, and in a lower voice that Isaac could still hear, “Le’s get outta here, Isla, and hope he doesn’a follow.”

SkullsandSlippers · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **SkullsandSlippers** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 7:56 pm

Isla turned to look at Issac. She felt bad that Alysander was being so cruel when all the man had done was state something he thought he felt. “I am sorry. I do not know what to say to what you have told me.”

Her eyes softened. “It has been a trying few days. I beg your pardon if I have somehow offended you or if I somehow...”

She shook her head sending drips flying. “I do not know how to act with people.”

Isla picked up her pack and walked towards Alysander and the horse. She had somehow done...something that made the man love her. She did not even know how he could profess such a thing when he had never even spoken to her or her to him.

Her head was down, her eyes on her feet as she waited for Alysander to be ready.

“Do you have to be so harsh with everyone? There is no need to be so rough. He is travelling same as us. You do not get to decide who follows or not. You cannot control everything you know.”

Her head was down still and her tone almost cold as she spoke to Alysander.

LockandKey · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **LockandKey** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:06 pm

“D’ye want me t’ coddle him, Isla?” asked Alysander as he lead the horse away from the water and up the slope of the hill. He began saddling her, talking in an undertone as the other man drifted away. “If ye are’na firm with him, he’ll follow ye forever, like a dog that’s been fed a scrap. Is that what ye want?”

He looked up to see where the strange man had gone. He was on his horse already, and heading down the road. He shoulders appeared to be slumped forward, head hanging low. What did he expect? wondered Alysander with more than a hint of disbelief. Any woman would turn tail and run after a confession out of the blue like that. What was he thinking? The man is dim or mad.

Alysander lifted Isla deftly up to the saddle, then hooked his foot into the stirrup and mounted in front of her. “We ought t’ just pass him and not let him slow us down,” Alysander told her.

SkullsandSlippers · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **SkullsandSlippers** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:13 pm

She frowned as Alysander likened the man to a dog. "I do not know what I want."

Isla mumbled it as he put her up on the saddle.

He was in the saddle in front of her again and Isla wrapped her arms around him tightly. She let her head rest against him as well. She felt so disheartened that she forgot she was trying to give him space.

"I think it was brave of him to be so honest. Even if it was shocking and I have no idea why he thinks that he loves me. He has not said a word to me. Until now that is. I have not spoken to him."

Isla was musing to herself.

"Pass him or not his presence does not effect us. He either keeps up or he does not. But it is not up to me. Just do not be so cruel, just to be cruel. You can make a point without it I would think. You did with me. When I kissed you, you were quite blunt but not cruel per say."

Isla leaned against Alysander. Men are strange creatures indeed....

LockandKey · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **LockandKey** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:22 pm

“I wasn’a cruel,” he agreed as the horse began to move forward at a comfortable trot. “But it hurt ye just the same, did it no’?”

He had not said it to hurt her. He hadn’t even said it out of anger or jealousy. He truly didn’t want the confusion, and he couldn’t see himself being with Isla in the way that she seemed to want. If it had been purely physical, that would have been one thing, but Isla wasn’t that kind of woman. Kissing her back would have only made things worse for both of them. One day she’d see that.

SkullsandSlippers · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **SkullsandSlippers** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:33 pm

"Everything hurts. Emotions are terrible things. Happiness. Fear. Desire. Sadness. Guilt. Anger. They are too much and cloud everything. If I could get my coat back everything can go back to the way it was."

Her hands gripped his shirt unconsciously. Her face pressed into his back.

"You people...it was supposed to be like the other times. I saw a wedding last time. The dancing and singing, the smell of the food. This time, nothing went the way it was supposed to. Now this, as if losing my skin was not difficult enough. Now I have to deal with people and feelings."

She was venting, talking but not really paying attention to her words. "At least with Nicholas I knew what he wanted. Even the other man was at least up front. It is me. I do not understand. Look what I did by not knowing and understanding pride. I hurt you, I made you feel foolish. I never meant that to happen."

Isla grew quiet. She did not care at that moment if the horse ran or walked, if they passed Issac or travelled with him. She withdrew into herself and tried to steel her emotions to be more closed off, to protect herself until she could get her skin back and join the others.

LockandKey · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **LockandKey** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:42 pm

They passed the strange, bespectacled man, but he said nothing as they went past. Alysander said nothing either, pretending Isaac did not exist. It was easier just to pretend the encounter between him and Isla had not happened.

He’d been listening to Isla with a frown of confusion that did not ease as she continued. "You people...it was supposed to be like the other times,” she told him.

“What was s’posed t’ be like other times?” he asked, perplexed. “Isla, I do’na know what ye mean. Back t’ the way it was?”

He turned his face slightly to look at her, slightly worried. It sounded like she was talking nonsense, and he began to wonder if she was okay.

SkullsandSlippers · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **SkullsandSlippers** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:52 pm

"Coming to the shore. It was supposed to be like the other times. I was going to walk around and just look, just watch. Fascinating to watch but never get involved."

Isla stared at the trees. The further they got from the water the emptier she felt. The salt was long gone from the air and even Alysander did not smell of it as he had the first day. Everything had gotten so messy.

"Go back to being alone."

Isla closed her eyes and tried to imagine the sea, the rocks and the feeling of the water around her. It was getting harder and harder.

"Go back to when I was not stuck in this body with these emotions. With people who hate me, who love me, who make me feel things I do not understand. Back to where there are not the rules you seem to live by that make so little sense."

It was only then that Isla realized how much she had said, how much she had told him. She suddenly felt sick.

LockandKey · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **LockandKey** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 9:01 pm

Her explanation only made him more confused, but stopping the horse in the middle of the road was not an option with Isaac not far behind them. He pulled on the reins, bringing the horse off the dirt path and toward the trees across the field. He snapped the reins, urging the animal to run faster, and within minutes Isla and Alysander were beneath the shady boughs of a thin stand of trees, hidden from sight of any who might pass.

“What d’ye mean-” he sighed in frustration. He couldn’t hold a proper conversation with her when he couldn’t even see her face. He turned in the saddled and wrapped his arms around her, then pulled her around him and placed her on his lap. She was amazingly light, slim thing she was. Now he could see her, and he had her trapped in his arms, and atop a horse she was unlikely to clamber off of without his assistance. “What d’ye mean yer stuck in a body with emotions?” he asked. “And what’s this about comin’ ashore to watch people? Isla, yer not making any sense.”

He was puzzled, but more than that, he was concerned.

SkullsandSlippers · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **SkullsandSlippers** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 9:10 pm

Alysander made the horse move off the road but she had her eyes closed and did not notice. It was not until he made it run that Isla opened her eyes.

Her stomach was tight, a knot of fear lodged deep inside her. There was no place for her to go. The horse was running and she held onto him tightly.

What have I done?

He started talking to her and for a moment Isla thought that if he did not look at her then as long as she told him something that was mostly the truth, as she had before it would be alright. Her mind began to work to plan a way to explain all she had said to him.

Alysander turned and his arms were around her. Isla panicked and pushed lightly against him. He brought her around so that she was now in front and facing him. He had her caught up in his arms, there was no escaping.

Her eyes dropped to her hands.

Her voice was very low and sultry, "Alysander.....do you know what a selkie is?"

LockandKey · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **LockandKey** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 9:16 pm

Isla was warm and small in his arms. He held her gently for fear of hurting her delicate, willowy figure. She looked like she might break at any moment, he thought, and he wasn’t sure whether to loosen his hold or hold her closer.

"Alysander.....do you know what a selkie is?"

Her eyes were on the hands in her lap and she’d gone very quiet. Alysander felt as if cold water had been dribbled down his back, and he had an odd feeling he knew where this was going to end somehow.

“Aye,” he told her. “I know what a selkie is, Isla.”

War and the Sea

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