Whats wrong with this?

(This post is very graphic due to language.)




Angel danced the flame between his fingers. He had a thing for playing with hell fire. You could say he was a pyro of sorts, or just a demented fuck. He closed his hand and the flame went out, burning his hand slightly. He opened his hand and the wound flared up in hellfire and healed itself. "Damn, that never gets old." he said to himself. He turned to Kima. "Now what? It's almost boring as hell up here. Pardon the analogy." he said watching her eyes as he mentioned Hell. He started rolling the hellfire between his fingers again. To experiment he took out a blade and cut off his hand. His eyes widened as the stub flared up in flames and a hand replaced itself. "Well. I didn't know I could do that. I'm afraid to try it with my head though." he had discovered he could heal himself. He turned to Kima again. This time asking: "What are supposed to do now? With the anti-christ gone what are supposed to do, wage pointless war? It's stupid. We need to do something about this!"

point out all the flaws in this post please. I hate doing this but, this has to be brought up.

This post was made by a member of the site, being nice I will not name him/her.

Post like this has been showing up on a daily bases, the lack of creativity that has gone into this post by a member is baffling and almost shameful.

That is not even the worst of it, post such as this has been spreading like a virus.

Walks in to the area and does a back flip.

Now how the hell do you post to some thing to that? That was completely idiotic (that is my favorite word) of a member of the site to post some thing that useless in a role play. Role Play has slowly hit a all time low, people have gotten lazier then usual and I feel like im the only one going insane with this issue. These lazy members/ users of the digital world, need a area where the staff, or a selected few members can teach the the basics of Role Playing. Call it a Training Ground if you wish, call it the shit hole all I care. All I know is these kids need teachers to show them the true way of role play.

ALSO STOP MAKING VAMPIRE STORIES, IT'S GETTING REDUNDANT.

"What are supposed to do"
-----------^-------------------
----------we------------------

I just glanced over it and found that.

Although I agree... it has been as such recently, lots of new members and only a handful good RPers. I am glad we have new mwmbers, and that they want to RP, but please, ask for help, I understand it's not always easy the first time, but improvements can always be made.

At least this isn't roleplay on Myspace... lol. Don't even get me started.

I understand your frustration at the perceived lack of creativity from the role-players, however I would point out the rules of the site to you:

General Rules
While RolePlayGateway supports and encourages freedom of speech and the right to artistic freedom (see our "Roleplay YOUR Way" motto), we have just a couple rules that everyone must follow to make the site enjoyable for everyone. We like to keep rules simple and straightforward, so there are only these five basic rules. These rules apply to every part of RolePlayGateway, and anything officially associated with RolePlayGateway:

No trolling.
Deliberately provoking arguments is unacceptable and is a bannable offense. (The word comes from casting a baited line when fishing... hoping someone bites.)

No spamming.
This includes flooding (repeating messages over and over), mass PMs to members, and joining any part of the site with the sole intent to advertise.

No obscenity.
We require everyone to maintain common sensitivity, which means:
- No public intimacy (this includes roleplay)
- No racist, bigoted, or excessively vulgar or distasteful language.
- No pornography or otherwise rated "X" material.

No disrespect.
Our staff and members will treat you with respect by default, so you have no reason to mistreat them. Disrespect in any fashion is grounds for disciplinary action.

No arguing.
Take it to PM or the Flame Wars forum. Intelligent debate is welcome, but when your emotions take control of your actions, you are in violation of this rule.

You are intentionally trolling by placing the quote up, this is unacceptable behavior on your part.

'He opened his hand and the wound flared up in hellfire and healed itself. ' double use of and. Also, it doesn't make sense.

"Now what? It's almost boring as hell up here. Pardon the analogy." he said watching her eyes as he mentioned Hell. He started rolling the hellfire between his fingers again. To experiment he took out a blade and cut off his hand. - he forgot 'as' before 'boring'. Also, where did the blade come from? and how was it able to just slice through his bone and tendons as if it was butter?

healing himself? Wait - wait - wait!... he didn't KNOW that it would happen?! and why didnt that hurt!?....Also, how come this 'anti-christ' is dead? If you've read any religious stuff relating to that guy for more than three nano seconds youll know he cant exactly die. Like jesus.


FUCK!! ... sorry. this has pissed me off.

This sort of writing should be BANNED.


Edit:

The man has an opinion on poor writing. He is entitled to that. It isn't trolling. Trolling is trying to provoke others intentionally. If people can't understand that he is annoyed that his type of poor writing is allowed, then so be it.

My ideas are unlimited, to be honest.

1. Create a area in the forum so they may make, and train with some one. There should be a teacher present,typically each member should volunteer to train some one new.

2. teach them to use the following.

-Background
-sight
-smell
-touch
-taste
-hearing
- Surrounding environment.
- What another character is doing in the role play, and how does it effect the members character.
-thoughts
-magic, where does the character get their powers/magic. How does it effect the character an how is going to effect the other characters around his/her character.

3.Using " " for actual speaking text, and placing the period, exclamation and question mark inside of it.

There is so many things these Members lack, and as I see it we owe it to them to teach them the basics.

I'll be bolding everything and keeping the tags when moving onto a new check. Now then... Spell-check!

Angel danced the flame between his fingers. He had a thing for playing with hell fire. You could say he was a pyro of sorts, or just a demented fuck. He closed his hand and the flame went out, burning his hand slightly. He opened his hand and the wound flared up in hellfire and healed itself. "Damn, that never gets old." he said to himself. He turned to Kima. "Now what? It's almost boring as hell up here. Pardon the analogy." he said watching her eyes as he mentioned Hell. He started rolling the hellfire between his fingers again. To experiment he took out a blade and cut off his hand. His eyes widened as the stub flared up in flames and a hand replaced itself. "Well. I didn't know I could do that. I'm afraid to try it with my head though." he had discovered he could heal himself. He turned to Kima again. This time asking: "What are supposed to do now? With the anti-Christ gone what are supposed to do, wage pointless war? It's stupid. We need to do something about this!"

Just caps on a sentence... Meh. Punctuation check!

Angel danced the flame between his fingers. He had a thing for playing with hell fire. You could say he was a pyro of sorts, or just a demented fuck. He closed his hand and the flame went out, burning his hand slightly. He opened his hand and the wound flared up in hellfire and healed itself. "Damn, that never gets old." He said to himself. He turned to Kima. "Now what? It's almost boring as hell up here. Pardon the analogy." He said watching her eyes as he mentioned Hell. He started rolling the hellfire between his fingers again. To experiment he took out a blade and cut off his hand. His eyes widened as the stub flared up in flames and a hand replaced itself. "Well. I didn't know I could do that. I'm afraid to try it with my head though." He had discovered he could heal himself. He turned to Kima again; this time asking: "What are supposed to do now? With the anti-Christ gone what are supposed to do, wage pointless war? It's stupid. We need to do something about this!"

Shoddy use of quotation marks. Grammar check was skipped, namely because I can't perform a proper one with this fatigue u_u, this is instead a formatting check (note I'm completely disregarding the writer's use of speech in the middle of a paragraph without any punctuation save for quotation marks.)

Angel danced the flame between his fingers. He had a thing for playing with hell fire. You could say he was a pyro of sorts, or just a demented fuck. He closed his hand and the flame went out, burning his hand slightly. He opened his hand and the wound flared up in hellfire and healed itself. "Damn, that never gets old." He said to himself.

He turned to Kima. "Now what? It's almost boring as hell up here. Pardon the analogy." He said watching her eyes as he mentioned Hell. He started rolling the hellfire between his fingers again.

To experiment he took out a blade and cut off his hand. His eyes widened as the stub flared up in flames and a hand replaced itself. "Well. I didn't know I could do that. I'm afraid to try it with my head though." He had discovered he could heal himself.

He turned to Kima again; this time asking: "What are supposed to do now? With the anti-Christ gone what are supposed to do, wage pointless war? It's stupid. We need to do something about this!"

Readability check, admire the holy-fuck-on-a-stick factor (I'm being pretty open with this, just marking off repetitive pronouns.)

Angel danced the flame between his fingers. He had a thing for playing with hell fire. You could say he was a pyro of sorts, or just a demented fuck. He closed his hand and the flame went out, burning his hand slightly. He opened his hand and the wound flared up in hellfire and healed itself. "Damn, that never gets old." He said to himself.

He turned to Kima. "Now what? It's almost boring as hell up here. Pardon the analogy." He said watching her eyes as he mentioned Hell. He started rolling the hellfire between his fingers again.

To experiment he took out a blade and cut off his hand. His eyes widened as the stub flared up in flames and a hand replaced itself. "Well. I didn't know I could do that. I'm afraid to try it with my head though." He had discovered he could heal himself.

He turned to Kima again; this time asking: "What are supposed to do now? With the anti-Christ gone what are supposed to do, wage pointless war? It's stupid. We need to do something about this!"

Note the post doesn't give me a goddamn clue about their situation other than the anti-Christ's death and Angel's use of hellfire. Royal crap Plain old crap-- if I hadn't gone to my seminar I'd be depressed about this. How about doing something instead of complaining eh?

While I agree with you (at least not on the vampire part =P), there's only so much you and RPG.com can do.

If you don't like it, teach them. Or talk to them. If that still doesn't work, or if you don't want to mentor, then just move on and don't play with them. I know I have had frustrations with other players just not keeping up to par and completely ruining a story, but they have the right to be there and put in their post if their character was accepted.

If all else fails, create an invite-only style RP so that you have members there that you know are experienced, and creative.

So who all thinks we should ask the STAFF, to make a training ground for the members who need help.

If you are going to post something CyB3R please have the courtesy to post it so everyone can read it.

"they should have done that the first day the site opened, but they probably decided it was best to wait for the members to ask for a area for that."

If you can propose something constructive that will enable newer people to learn to role-play I believe Eric will listen to it.

I deleted that post because after I posted it I felt immature.



I wouldn't mind throwing my ideas about a training ground for new members by this guy named Eric.

There is already a place where members can get help: the Role Play Academy. If what you are proposing is something that will be mandatory for users in any way, I can guarantee you now that it won't happen. If not, then before you contact Eric, please PM one of the GMs with a full proposal of this idea with some backing by a solid handful of members and we'll take a look at it.

Instead of a training ground for new members, just make a forum for new roleplayers or roleplayers with excessively redundant ideas like vampire or school roleplayers to post in. Could be titled Basic Forum, Newbie Forum, whatever. But it would be more popular than a training forum. Roleplaying isn't by any means something you should be taught to do; if you're taught how to roleplay you won't be as unique later on.

Well, in my experience, each roleplaying site has it's own sort of crowd. From what I've seen here, the general feel is, to put it nicely, sort of low-brow. Not only are spelling and grammar errors (and redundant ideas) rampant, there's a general lack of caring about the roleplaying. By that, I mean not only that there are stupid posts like the walking in a back-flipping one, but that overall the post size is tiny compared to other RP sites I've used. So I really see where you're coming from on this CyB3R.

Problem is, there's nothing you can do about it while still being inclusive. The only solutions are to administer a spelling and grammar test to all current and new members and not allowing those who fall below a certain level to post, doing the same with individual forums only (like having a Beginner, Intermediate, and Advanced forum with certain literacy requirements), by only joining/making roleplays that are invite only to keep out the less experienced crowd, or finding a different site with higher community standards.

The first is highly unlikely because that would lose the site a LOT of members. The second is also unlikely, because I don't think the mods and such want to have so many more sections to watch. The third is your only solution to be happy with this site. The last would be a hit or miss thing at best. I could give you the name of another site that's been better overall for grammar and such (still tons of vampire RPs there, but oh well) in my experience, but you'll have to PM me for that. No advertising competing sites and all that...

But yeah, like I said, I see what you're saying. It sucks, but that's how life is sometimes. Don't just complain about it, do something. Be proactive, else you'll be stuck whining about things with no chance of improvement. Maybe take the mods' advice and make a plan to help make the site better, or only do invite-only RPs, or go elsewhere. Whatever you choose, at least don't leave it as a simple complaint with no action.

point out all the flaws in this post please. I hate doing this but, this has to be brought up.

This post was made by a member of the site, being nice I will not name him/her.

Post like this has been showing up on a daily bases, the lack of creativity that has gone into this post by a member is baffling and almost shameful.

That is not even the worst of it, post such as this has been spreading like a virus.

Why slander the post you're questioning, when you can't even produce a simple structure with your own sentences? Shut the fuck up.

Now how the hell do you post to some thing to that? That was completely idiotic (that is my favorite word) of a member of the site to post some thing that useless in a role play. Role Play has slowly hit a all time low, people have gotten lazier then usual and I feel like im the only one going insane with this issue.

You get creative, set up a medium that both characters or more could interact with and go from there. You know, use that thing you're preaching. Creativity. Besides, who are you to call "lazy" when the forums only show you with 44 posts? Way to be an elitist, dude. You remind me of a religious person who thinks they're in right, so they go around trying to pressure their own ideals onto others. Stop bitching.

These lazy members/ users of the digital world, need a area where the staff, or a selected few members can teach the the basics of Role Playing. Call it a Training Ground if you wish, call it the shit hole all I care. All I know is these kids need teachers to show them the true way of role play.

There is a section for this, obi-wan. Jesus Christ, search the forums more. Why state something that's already here and being used? Do you actually read around the forums at all? Or do you stick strictly to OOC and IC threads?

ALSO STOP MAKING VAMPIRE STORIES, IT'S GETTING REDUNDANT.

Seeing this thread with this same viewpoint as about twenty others is getting redundant. Hypocrite. Besides, I'd rather play a vampire in a fantasy world than a mere human. You don't like that, bitch, stick to realistic. Elsewise, deal.

Instead of flaming these "poor roleplayer's" how about you try helping them? Perhaps show them the 'training' section on this forum. I can guarantee you that your whining wont get you anywhere; especially not improve how others roleplay. I believe I'm done here. =]

"Shut the fuck up."
"Stop bitching."
"You don't like that, bitch, stick to realistic. Elsewise, deal."
"Instead of flaming these "poor roleplayer's" how about you try helping them? Perhaps show them the 'training' section on this forum."

I find it ironic you told him to stop flaming when you told him to shut the fuck up, to stop bitching, and called him a bitch.
"Hypocrite."

isochronous wrote:"Shut the fuck up."
"Stop bitching."
"You don't like that, bitch, stick to realistic. Elsewise, deal."
"Instead of flaming these "poor roleplayer's" how about you try helping them? Perhaps show them the 'training' section on this forum."

I find it ironic you told him to stop flaming when you told him to shut the fuck up, to stop bitching, and called him a bitch.
"Hypocrite."

Exactly.

I'm jumping out on a limb here since I'm relatively knew to roleplaying but I feel compelled to say something about this thread.

Firstly I have to ask...did you get this person's permission to copy and paste their writing here for the sole purpose of tearing it to pieces? If not then you are absolutely doing what Skallagrim pointed out to you.

Constructive criticism is one thing. What you are trying to do here is degrading. If you are trying to teach someone how to read, should you be smacking them on the head when they make a mistake and call them names? Not exactly the best way of going about it and it is actually pretty cruel. It is a terrible cliche but you should really treat other people how you would want to be treated.

Why exactly does this have to be brought up and why are you the one who decides that? Everyone on here is at a different skill level. In order to improve at something you have to practice and usually practicing with people who are better then you speeds up the learning process.

If someone's writing annoys you and you are not in a roleplay with them, guess what? STOP READING IT! Do you continue to read a book after you have decided that you hate it? It's kind of masochistic and if you continue then you have no one to blame for your annoyance but yourself. If you are in a roleplay with the person who's writing is bothering you, send them a PM. If they don't acknowledge you or strive to be better enough to your standards, well, now you know who the person is and don't do further roleplays with them. Simple. I don't understand why everyone keeps creating threads with the sole purpose of complaining about other roleplayers. Lets all grow up. Focus your efforts on doing roleplays with people you feel are good enough for you and let everyone else be. If someone sucks at roleplaying and finds ten other people who suck just as bad and they are all happy with how they write together, stay out of it and let them do their thing...move on.

isochronous wrote:"Shut the fuck up."
"Stop bitching."
"You don't like that, bitch, stick to realistic. Elsewise, deal."
"Instead of flaming these "poor roleplayer's" how about you try helping them? Perhaps show them the 'training' section on this forum."

I find it ironic you told him to stop flaming when you told him to shut the fuck up, to stop bitching, and called him a bitch.
"Hypocrite."

isochronous wrote:"Shut the fuck up."
"Stop bitching."
"You don't like that, bitch, stick to realistic. Elsewise, deal."
"Instead of flaming these "poor roleplayer's" how about you try helping them? Perhaps show them the 'training' section on this forum."

I find it ironic you told him to stop flaming when you told him to shut the fuck up, to stop bitching, and called him a bitch.
"Hypocrite."

I believe it's a thing called mockery, isochronus. There's a difference. A big difference that a lot of people seem to have a lot of trouble noticing, because the whole lot of them like to toss everybody in the same boat, and say a whole lot of the same shit. But, just to simplify things, let me ask you this: ever heard of a mirror?

If all you people want these RolePlayers to get better; get off your ass and talk to them; teach them; offer them your assistance. This is a COMMUNITY. Start acting like it.

You all love to brag about how awesome your community is, and it shows in how tightly knit people are, as well as how quick they are to back up their friends in an argument even if they know they're wrong.

Why can't you transfer that same fiery passion to the people who actually need that support? By support, I mean help them out.

You have the time to sit here and bitch, so you obviously have the time to sit down and help these people improve.

I will help the latest and oldest members improve to the best of my abilities.

But first I have to talk with this guy named Eric(who ever he is).

To the quoting, I quoted the post since I decided it was the best suggestion of a horrible intro post.

I also never stated who it was, let alone if it was a guy or girl. So there was no true pointing of the finger.

So if the staff will give me the user name of this Eric, I will be gladly to pm him.