I, Dementia

Darkness was all that was encompassing, plunging further into it was the saving grace. He struggled within its maw for a moment, but only just. Eventually, it caught up with him, and he embraced it as a friend to him. Dying in darkness' grasp was much more preferable than dying by its wrath. So he dove in, headfirst, thinking, believing, he was safe at last.
But something was wrong. His heart raced, and his fears became to come alive. There was something not right with this darkness he had so easily accepted and called home. Something about being in the dark, not knowing what actually occurred in this abyss, what horrors could lie within, his eyes blind to them all, lurking, waiting to strike out. He struggled in darkness' grip, sweating, a cavalcade of grief and woe descended upon him; the great weights of his stupidity dropped on him so suddenly. He writhed, kicked, clawed and wriggled; nothing seemed to allow for his escape.

He was trapped.

I awoke in a cold sweat. It was that same nightmare, the nightmare where I'm lost in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. Ever since I was a little kid I've been afraid of the dark. I always hated when the lights went out: I thought something lurked in the shadows, something vile, something that wanted me, to consume me. I heard sounds too, when the lights went out. It was probably just my imagination, or the sounds of the Core reverberating through the walkways, but the noises always sounded more sinister than I care to describe. I was a culmination of laughter, drilling, roars; and I mean the roars of a beast not of this plane, and shrieks. Horrible, anguished shrieks that toyed with my sanity. It was a nightmarish sound. I hardly have words enough to describe it. However, it always seemed that I was the only one who heard these sounds: I'd ask my parents about them, and they told me it was just my imagination, all in my head. I asked my friends, and they said I was just a chicken shit. Of course, I believed them, but I didn't want them to know I believed them. Hence, I've been scared of the dark. I don't hear those sounds anymore, but sometimes when I sleep, they invade and haunt my dreams, evolving the pleasantries of my dreamscape into vicious night terrors that rip at my heart and plunge into the deepest fathoms of my being and emerge with my greatest fears.
It doesn't mean I don't function, no, not at all. I may be scared of the dark, but I have a life to live: I'm Haven's lieutenant engineer, after all. I've spent too many years in such a field to allow my fears to get in the way. Luckily enough for me, Haven employees that work in the tunnels and crawlspaces are given flashlights, on account of them being so dark. I'm aware my fear is pretty silly, but I just feel that, even with the protection of the Lord Maverick, something could always happen in the shadows. Call me paranoid, but that's just how I see it. Maybe I am paranoid, or irrational, or whatever, but I still believe that the dark is no place to be.

Today, my shift involved Core maintenance. I loved going down to the Core; the pathway's stars were always on, we never had a problem keeping them lit. Possibly because they always had energy from the Core, being they were so close to it. This grey steel that surrounded me was always comforting when bathed in starlight. They hung just a few feet overhead, embedded in the sky. I could reach up and feel them, but they were extremely hot and burned to the touch. They were funny that way, the stars. I'd learned about them in school, when I was younger. They were powered by the Core, which sent electricity, or life, into the stars. They had little coils in them which conducted the electricity from the Core and made them shine. It was said that the Lord Maverick created the Core and the stars, as well as the entirety of Haven. A steel world made by an all-powerful, watchful being. It was stated that the Lord Maverick chose to make the world in steel to represent his strength. I guess that's a great representation, given that steel is a sturdy substance.
I was striding my way down the pathway, my boots thumping against the ground and reverberating off the walls. My light blue jumpsuit, which read in big black letters "CARMINE" on the back, was clinging to my skin like an unwanted pest: it was pretty hot today. I guess the weather vents were emitting warmer air. Probably why I need to maintain the Core, so it could generate the right weather. I sighed. The Core operated strangely at times, but it was a mechanism, designed to malfunction from time to time. Why the Lord Maverick would design what was possibly the greatest creation in Haven in such a flawed manner was beyond me, but I wasn't an expert on the theologies, so it wasn't my place to speculate. I'm just thankful that he gave us the means to maintain his great works. It was an honor to do so; being an engineer is quite possibly the highest honor a Havenite could have, aside from being an Arbiter.
The Arbiters; protectors of Haven from all threats. Sometimes, people like to cause problems in Haven: crime isn't unheard of, and sometimes gangs have actually waged war within these sacred walls. But I suppose not even the Lord Maverick could have foreseen Havenite nature. I guess we just couldn't live in a perfect world. That's why the Arbiters are around: to defend us from horrible things such as that.

I arrived at the pathway's end. The only way now, was down. There was a ladder leading down a shaft, which led to another pathway, which led, finally, to the Core. I clambered down the ladder, one rung at a time. When I reached the bottom, I turned, facing the brief pathway, and walked the short distance to the Core.
It was a wondrous creation. It towered over me, gigantic, wide. It was a magnificent overseer, supplier of all life in Haven, life granted by the Lord Maverick. I set to work. There was a panel and control system on the backside of the Core, concealed by an part of the device itself that was capable of being opened, like a small cage door. I took my hand and placed it on the compartment area, opening up the Core to reveal the controls. I did some calibrations, inputting several sequencing codes and algorithms, but eventually, I got the Core up to speed. Almost immediately, I felt the weather change. Cool air rushed into the Core sanctuary, enveloping me in its loving embrace. I smiled, glad I didn't have to actually go into the Core this time. That was dangerous work, and required that I wear my ARMOR suit, a suit engineers are given to work in hazardous environments. It comes equipped with a plasma saw, plasma cutter, arc welder, and various tools for working with wires and circuits as well. We usually just get the physical aspects of the Core back to being operational. Technicians generally handle the extremely difficult internal workings, if minor calibration like I performed aren't the problem.The Core operates with some internal programs engineers aren't trained to deal with, so that's why the technicians are sometimes sent in.
Either way, now that I had finished maintenance, I could go home, relax and have my girlfriend show me that new dress she was talking about. We were thinking of going out tonight, and after a day like this, I'm feeling enthusiastic about it. I had to shower though: I'd been sweating pretty horribly. From the Core, it was a long way home, about fifteen minutes. The Core's tram didn't run by the neighborhoods, so I had to walk the distance. I didn't care. I felt reassured, accomplished, relieved. I smiled the whole way back.

It was a job well done for the lieutenant engineer. His heart pumped with pride for his services to Haven, and all her people. Still, in the back of his mind, he had a restless feeling, a feeling he hadn't noticed until he began his walk home. Something seemed strange, about this pathway, the stars that loomed just overhead. Why was everything so uncertain all of a sudden? He could feel his spine slither with shivers. His nerves were getting the best of him; the shaft to and from the Core was a bit darker than he liked. That was probably it: his old childhood fear coming back to him again. But then, why did he feel so uneasy as he reemerged into the light?

He emerged from the lower levels of Haven, feeling as he himself were the Lord Maverick, quickly asking for repentance for having such a thought. He strode down the corridors, upright and proud, gleaming. He turned, coming upon his neighborhood; a rather small collection of rooms on the eastern side of Haven, capable of housing families of four, a characteristic that worked in accordance with the Law of Four that stated families could only consist of up to four members: two parents and their two children. Unplanned excess children were taken into the custody of the Arbiters who, in turn, relinquished the children into the care of the Prime Council. These children are taken in by the Council for reassignment, kept under constant watch until they are old enough to make it out in the world on their own.
As Carmine appeared, he began to notice that the people in his neighborhood seemed uneasy.

There was a silence aboard. The people seemed uneasy as Carmine steadily paced through his neighborhood. People were clinging to their doorways, looking down the hall, speaking in hushed tones as if there were something sinister lurking just around the corner. 'What's everyone acting so strange for?' the engineer thought. He scanned the corridor, hoping to find his friend and neighbor, a man named Prichard, as to ask about the unsettling atmosphere that was emanating from the rest of the community. There he was, on the right, standing in the doorway with a drink in his hand; tea, green tea, the man's favorite. Carmine strode over, a halfhearted smile laced on his lips. "Harvey!" the engineer called. Harvey looked, chuckled the slightest bit he could. He looked wrecked, like someone had just told him his family had been killed. "How ya doin' Jack?" Prichard asked. "I just got back from the Core. I was heading home and....what's going on? Why's everyone look so disheveled?" Prichard sighed deeply, finishing off the last of his tea. He shook, partially from nerves, partially from the bitterness of his beverage. He liked a strong drink, and his wife's tea was the strongest. "It was that old guy, Shaw. Damon Shaw; you've probably seen him around. Anyway, a few moments ago everyone was in their homes minding their business, waiting around while the kids were at school, maybe awaiting an assignment call, when all of a sudden the old bastard just goes nuts, spewing on and on about some 'outside world' and that we live inside some 'human construct.' The fuck does human mean?" Carmine shrugged, clearly as baffled as his friend.

"Either way, the Arbiters came and dragged his demented ass away, charged him with disturbing the peace. He'll probably be examined by a psychologist and be given some drugs. Probably the best thing for the guy. Poor old bastard's probably going senile..." Carmine's attention began to drift. Suddenly, his head hurt, like someone was plunging a nail into his skull. He cringed, clenched his teeth and held his left hand to his forehead. Grunting, Carmine leaned against the wall. "Hey Jack, you alright?" Carmine looked to Prichard, a look of confusion painted on his face. Then, once reality had returned to him, Carmine was able to find his words. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little headache, probably from looking at the Core lights too much. Nothing some capsules can't fix." he said reassuringly. Prichard looked at the engineer with concern clearly imprinted on his face. "Uh huh. Well, take it easy man. I gotta wait for the kids to come home. I'll see you around. And, hey, don't let this..." he said, gesturing at the neighborhood surrounding them, "Get to ya, okay?" Carmine nodded, raising his hand up in a slight wave, turning and walking down the pathway towards his house.

I came home, feeling rather uneasy about the situation with Shaw. What had he been talking about? The story played over and over in my mind but, I couldn't fathom what the old man was saying. Outside worlds, humans? I was baffled, really; not because I was thinking Shaw was telling the truth, by the Lord Maverick no, but because he'd started a panic, and there'd probably be new protocol and measures enacted upon us. Either way, I was glad to be home. The house consisted of two rooms, a living room and a bedroom, which also had the bathroom in it. Because Iris and I didn't have any children, we had to reside in a two room house. Once we did, we'd be accommodated to a three room house so the kids would have a room to themselves.

I walked in, and called for Iris. She didn't answer, and I realized she wasn't home. I sauntered over to the couch, pulled off my jumpsuit and lay on the couch. Comfortable, as always. It was made of cloth and padded foam, and conformed to the body. It was possibly one of Havenite kind's greatest inventions. Suddenly, laying stretched out upon the couch, I found my eyes getting drowsy. I drifted off, letting the much-deserved and extremely-needed sleep overtake me.

When I woke up, Iris still wasn't home. I checked the clock: it was eight o'clock on the dot. I found it weird that she hadn't come back. She gets off work at four-thirty. I scratched my head, puzzled. I lay down again, staring at the ceiling in confusion. Maybe she got held up at work? Iris was always busy; she was a saleswoman, after all. It was a frustrating occupation, for him at least. She almost always received comm. calls regarding customers or something. Spending time together was pretty hard, but she was still an amazing woman.

Suddenly, he had a mental vision. Screaming, a voice, shouting at him. He didn't know who the voice belonged to or why it was shouting, but it was in his head. Suddenly, just as quick as it came, it was gone. He couldn't recall the voice, the sounds. They just vanished. He shook his head, disturbed and rather appalled at this sudden memory. 'The hell was that?' He thought.


I sat up, scouring my mind for any instance of something that troublesome. Of course, I'd been shouted at in my line of work, but this was serious. The tone of the voice, the volume, all suggested something awful. I couldn't place it, so I shrugged it off. Maybe it was the memory of a dream I'd had. I sat back on the couch, impatiently awaiting the hour of Iris' return home. Maybe we wouldn't be able to go out tonight, but we could still stay in and.....spend some time alone.

At first the name caused me to think "Is this related to I Claudius?" so it took me a few extra moments to get into the story, Once i did manage to do so i enjoyed the story which is quite extraordinary because generally i do not like first person writing styles.

I saw the story as a bit like the Allegory of the Cave but the majority of my enjoyment was from the element of discovery and the story world. I hope you will keep this up, now that i am into the story its very difficult to get out if it.

Nice going :)