the unwanted (int.check)

rizzyrat · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **rizzyrat** on Tue Aug 16, 2011 7:44 pm

so i have an idea that just flew into my head as the sometimes do. i don't have a lot done on it, just a little opening. so i'll just put it up here. let me know what your opinions are and if anyone wants to help make the idea a bit bigger that would be cool to

The Unwanted:

"We were the unpopular kids in school. we were the abused, the hated, the looked down on the laughed at. you name it, if it was bad it happened it to us. everyone looked the other way, they pretended not to see the tears, the bruises the cuts. we were invisible. we were neglected, we were unwanted.
now, in the midst of a world shaking event, the walls have crumbling down. they run for their lives, their homes destroyed they have lost everything. the beg us to help. they want us to. they know we can. we were invisible when everything was fine, everyone else was happy. now their lives are ending, and ours are beginning.
they beg us, they plead with us. the question is:will we answer?"

Vanasy · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Vanasy** on Wed Aug 17, 2011 5:49 am

Wow...Thats really good. I like that a lot. Is it a rp idea?

rizzyrat · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **rizzyrat** on Wed Aug 17, 2011 7:53 pm

yes it is. i don't have A LOT worked out on it yet but it is an idea that's been playing through my head quite a bit. i would really like to expand on it and get it out there but i didn't want to sit there for god knows how long setting it up only have to have it get no interest >..< so i posted here ^_^ glad to see someone liked it!

TheHulkUniverse · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **TheHulkUniverse** on Thu Aug 18, 2011 5:49 pm

Sounds good, in fact that was pretty much my life :) so if youll accept a beginner, to roleplay at least, love writting stories, even wrote a non fiction book

rizzyrat · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **rizzyrat** on Thu Aug 18, 2011 5:53 pm

i accept all levels as long as you can post more then 2 lines. i try to aim for a paragraph or two at least. the level of writing doesn't mater to me. im middle so im not that great in level either >.< however, i think, with three people i can get something good going. so far in my experience, three people is the perfect amount to keep things going.
all i really ask is that your dedicated. and i have a feeling if you wrote a book then your probably dedicated. so welcome aboard.
also, this idea isn't really finished yet so please PLEASE! feel free to add some input.

WadeJackel · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **WadeJackel** on Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:07 pm

What a kind of characters are we

rizzyrat · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **rizzyrat** on Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:53 pm

that's not really fully thought out... the basic idea is a genetically different human. so not overly different but altered enough to survive whats happening.

rizzyrat · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **rizzyrat** on Fri Aug 19, 2011 12:40 am

alright this is the idea i have for this. what do you guys think?

The Unwanted:

we were the unwanted. we were the ones you would pass on the street and laugh at. you were the ones who called us weird, freak, awkward, you laughed, you called us names, you pushed us down. you were only putting us in our place you said, reminding us where we belonged.

we were the strange, the questionable. we didn't fit into your ways, your views of perfection, so you cast us aside. out of sight out of mind you said, so you never looked at us. we were odd to see, odd to hear, we were different. we looked different we sounded different, we thought different, and for that we were punished.

we were the abused, the attacked, the hit, the smacked, the unloved. we were the never cared for, the never thought of, the passed by but never seen. you never thought we would make it, you probably never even noticed us except when you wanted someone to laugh at, to make fun of, to torture. we were the never needed.

But you need us now dont you? you might even love us, but of course that's only if we help you. you cry, you bed, plead, drop to your knees and sob uncontrollably all for one purpose. you want to reach our better side, our forgiving side. the problem is, you killed that side of each of us years ago. we no longer forgive, and we never forget.

Corza:3015

The city of Corza. like most cities this day and age it strives for perfection. perfection of peace, perfection of productivity, and perfection of appearance. every building is built to be pleasing to the eye. every forest is trimmed to the proper specifications. every park is made to give the most pleasurable experience a park can.

Within the city there is nothing that is unpleasant. everyone greets you with a perfect smile, a soft wave and even a bow or curtsy if the mood is right. there is no crime, there are no wars. anything that might make someone feel bad at any point has been taken, and eliminated.

anyone caught fighting will report to the city's leader. a man everyone calls father. anyone caught breaking fathers laws will report to father. if anyone so much as breaths the wrong way, they report to father. everyone is given three chances, on the third strike, your out.

Father is a mysterious man. it is said that only those on their third strike actually see him. for everyone else is but a shadow behind a screen, a silhouette casting an eerie darkness over the otherwise well lit city. Father is not feared however, he is respected, revered even. Father created the utopia known as Corza, therefor, father knows best.

The Underground

you would never think there was something wrong on the surface of Corza. that is, of course, because the surface was perfect. it wasn't until you dropped into the old city below Corza that you would see the problem.

Below the streets of Corza there is another city. it is known simply as the underground. within the underground you have the unwanted. the forgotten souls of Corza cast away because they are strange, or different. these people are not strange because they have mutations, or at least, not the kind you would think of when someone says 'mutation'.

A mutation in today's society equals anything written off as 'unpleasant'. modern science has come a long way to create methods of fixing anything that would be seen as unpleasing, but there are still things that can't be fixed so easily.

~mutations:

green eyes

red hair

freckles

pale skin

dark skin

birth marks

scars

glasses (bad sight)

crooked or broken teeth

mental disorders

speech problems

different views

Below the streets the people cursed with this "mutations" are left to live in the dark, creating their own lives the best way they can. every so often a new comer will join them, someone cast out by the close knit society they are welcomed with open arms below the streets of Corza, and at first, they will reject everyone they see, believing them to be "mutated."

what nobody knows is that the world used to be filled with these people. they used to be viewed as normal, accepted, welcomed even. in the year 2060 however everyone was forced underground to live. only the select few with traits named acceptable by father were allowed to return to the surface. since then, all who remember the old ways have been killed or have died on their own.

~plot~

On the surface trouble is brewing. the world has become to peaceful, to easy to attack. everyone on the surface has been trained to be so weak minded and so against anything "unpleasant" they don't know how to defend themselves. in an attempt to save their city from an invading force, they travel to the underground to meet with the unwanted. they ask for forgiveness and beg for help. the only question is, will the unwanted answer?

TheHulkUniverse · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **TheHulkUniverse** on Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:27 am

Very interesting, don't know if you are familiar with Gnosticism (topic of the book I wrote) but you have nice parallels going on here, reminds me of the matrix meets the twilight zone episode "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" Can we add on to the world? Id like to establish some kind of spiritual movement within the story, at least for my own character.

rizzyrat · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **rizzyrat** on Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:32 am

ooh please do add on. i need a lot of help getting this ready before posting it. please add all you like to. i would love to do some collaborating with another person or two to make this better. this was basically the ideas that ran through my head in a fit of insomnia.

WadeJackel · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **WadeJackel** on Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:44 am

Ill work on a few ideas

DoveSong13 · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **DoveSong13** on Fri Aug 19, 2011 10:00 am

Hey, this looks really interesting. Mind if I join? I love the plot, it's amazing!

rizzyrat · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **rizzyrat** on Fri Aug 19, 2011 4:35 pm

please feel free to join. add some input as well. since this seems to be drawing in enough people i think i'll work in getting it set up for the tabs. at least to get it started.

rizzyrat · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **rizzyrat** on Fri Aug 19, 2011 8:07 pm

roleplay/the-unwanted/

the unwanted (int.check)

a topic in Interest Checks, a part of the RPG forum.

the unwanted (int.check)

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