Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

[WaltJRimmer]

"That, of course, is when we see that's NOT our friend and we kidnapped some random girl off the street."

[VindicatedPurpose]

"One thing led to another, and there we were in a hijacked police cruiser...not in the back, though."

[JGamer502]

"Most people called me crazy, but then I met my wife, she is a unicorn and she cured me by feeding me these magical rainbow pancakes that shot out of his horn! We are now living happily in rainbow candy land with all the flying geckos!"

[WaltJRimmer]

"Most people called me crazy, but then I met my wife, she is a unicorn and she cured me by feeding me these magical rainbow pancakes that shot out of his horn! We are now living happily in rainbow candy land with all the flying geckos!"

Turns in the seat next to JGamer502. "Oh, by the way, those are going to cost you twice as much this week. The Feds are closing in on my business."

[VindicatedPurpose]

"For some reason, I can never get that bloodstain off my seat."

[VindicatedPurpose]

"Try bleach, it works perfectly for those kind of things. This one time I decapitated this guy, and it just made a huge mess in my house. Bleach, forever and always."

[VindicatedPurpose]

"It's probably why the Israeli Defense Forces know me on a first name basis."

[VitaminHeart]

One from one of my RPs:

"The sexy viking picture was in circulation for nearly six months before I found every copy."

[ViceVersus]

God I love these so much:

" .. But I assure you, those girls are all alive and well in some Copenhagen VIP."

[Sabremagus]

"You know, I've never understood the hate behind the term "Neo-Nazi"...."

This forum thread is a brilliant idea. I am happy that it exists.

[VindicatedPurpose]

"Oh yeah, I heard like thirty snaps. Let me demonstrate a proper decapitation...can you guys bring out the red panda that I brought with me?"

[Thundergod1020]

"Come to think of it, the gorilla DID seem a bit overkill. But, when you're holding up every McDonalds with the tri-state area, you can't exactly cut corners, now can you?"

[WaltJRimmer]

"And that's why the Amish, Jesuits, Mennonites and Trappists all have taken legal action against me."

[VitaminHeart]

Another one from RP...

"It was even more intense than that time in Guadelajara when Mimi spiked my sandwich with peyote and they found me trying to fight a cactus."

[VindicatedPurpose]

"When I asked what was in the smoothie, they replied "A tiger's tongue." Let it be forever remembered that I drank tiger tongue smoothie."

[VindicatedPurpose]

"Let me tell you something I never told the cops about the night I spent in the Mojave after my botched botox surgery."

[VindicatedPurpose]

"Oh yeah, I mean you can see the pile of dead babies through Google maps and you use the street view. I made a little sign out of them."

[Kurokiku]

"...and I mean, I thought the part with the mongoose and the tripwire was pretty cool, but I guess MI5 saw it a bit differently. Don't do drugs, kids, they're bad for you."

[VindicatedPurpose]

"...well, it hadn't occurred to me that the woman was her grandmother. Come to think of it, I don't think it's ever occurred to me that any of those women were grandmothers. I mean, what did you want me to tell the fireman? 'Put out the fire?' No, that's...dumb."