Officer I can Explain game

[TimeOfTrial]

Okay so I didn't see this game already posted and thought I would start if (Sorry if it was already started and I missed it..)
The rules are pretty simple:
Person 1 lists three objects
Person 2 gives an explanation of why they have the three objects in their car
(The scenario being the officer pulls you over and checks your car and finds them)
Person 2 would also list the next 3 items in their post.
So example:
Person 1: rope, matches, photograph
Person: "Uh.. well.. I'm going to visit my aunt and cousins and I brought a picture from my vacation last summer to show them the dolphins we saw. I'm bringing the matches and the rope because I plan on going camping later this weekend with them." Items: lighter, barbie and some explosives

And then the game would continue.
I and some others had a lot of fun playing this on a different forum so I hope everyone here likes it^^
I'll start it off with the items i just listed in the example:
lighter, barbie doll, and explosives

[Oddball]

"Funny you should ask Officer. You see those aren't explosives. In fact those are fireworks to shoot my barbie doll up into space with the help of those matches."

Granola bar, decapitated leg, and an orange.

[Sabremagus]

"Oh, those? Officer, it's just a huge misunderstanding! I was helping a runner who was struck by a bus, and he told me to take the food and his leg and bury them somewhere, as his running career. Touching story, really."

Anarchist's Cookbook (abridged, large print edition) , pressure cooker, 12 lbs. of cayenne pepper

[MolecularMachine]

"Well, uh... you see, Officer, my aunt is getting pretty sick of baking nothing but meatloaf for her grandkids and, well, I know she's always been a fan of V for Vendetta. She's a prankster, too. The kids're gonna have a helluva time with those pork chops... heh..."

A pipe wrench, a wooden paddle with Alpha Phi Pi carved into it, and chest-high wading boots.

[WaltJRimmer]

"Well, I'll leave it at this. Sometimes, you want to know what happens on pledge week in the swamp. Sometimes, you really don't. I mean, you REALLY don't."

A banjitar (Banjo body with a guitar neck and strings), a five gallon barrel of Neapolitan ice cream and a Barbary Macaque (a type of monkey).

[Havek]

"How else was I going to get the monkey to play the guitar?"

Shovel, rope, and a bag of lime salt.

[Rann]

"I'm building a well, officer! You... you do use lime salt to make the cement, right? It's somehow connected, isn't it?"

A bra, bear-o-dactyl fur, and a lump of vague but indistinguishable flesh and blood mixed together.

[WaltJRimmer]

"I'm sure I have my bear-o-dactyl hunting licence around here somewhere. I may have forgotten it in my other hunting bra. You know what? I bet that's it. I brought the wrong hunting bra. But this bear-o-dactyl meat will spoil if I don't get it someplace quickly."

The skull of a queen from Aliens, surgical tubing and a brand new Clapper (as in Clap On, Clap Off, The Clapper).

[SlightlyIrregular]

"It wasn't me. It was the one armed man..."

Points for the person that gets the quote ;)

A bloody knife. A little finger. A box of tissues.

[TheHeroOfTime]

"Officer, are you familiar with video games? Oh, you are? Let me show you a lovely scene from a game called Heavy Rain..."

Ten boxes of Twinkies. A bloody hockey mask. A foam hand (like one might see at a sporting event).

[TimeOfTrial]

"You see officer I was just on my way home from a hockey game, hence the foam hand. Oh the mask? The goalie wore it during the game and even signed it for me! Isn't it a great souvenir? The twinkies...Well I was awfully hungry, ya know?"

hand cuffs, duct tape and fifty shades of grey

[Mokksha]

Well, you see, my husband and I are celebrating our 15th anniversary this weekend....*wink*.

A cat, jalapeno peppers, a pair of socks.

[Megamaw]

Ossifer, if I may explain, the cat left all this stuff lying around, and to be perfectly honest, I have no clue what he's plannin' on doin' with it.

Vaseline, a Dora the Explorer box set, and Dead or Alive's hit single "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)".

[FaddedFox]

"Well, yessee Officer, I have OCD real bad, so I need Vaseline for my hands. I am currently heading out to see my little niece and you know how kids are, they love Dora the Explorer and who doesn't love that song?"

Peanuts, Dexter series 1 box set, and an epi-pen

[misunderstoodmisfit]

"Officer, I was munching on the peanuts because I'm going on a long trip. One must keep up their energy when driving long ways, am I right? The series box set is for my best friend, her birthday is tomorrow and that's why I'm driving such a long ways. An epi-pen is pretty self explanatory. I'm allergic to absolutely EVERYTHING. Ironically, not peanuts."

Batman mask, a switchblade and a rope.

[Julia]

"Sir, we are going to a cosplay convention. I'm going as Batman, which would explain the mask. The switchblade is for my friend, whom is being the Joker, and would obviously need it, and I need the rope for the capture. We can't have the Joker running around whilly nilly, can we? I'm simply making your job easier and keeping Gotham safe."

String of sausages, a bent spoon, and a Ouija board.

[Ticky Toe]

"Well, officer. As you may have noticed on the side of my van, I am a ghost hunter. Hence the Ouija board. Sometimes that's not enough, though, so I brought some sausages with me to lure the ghost out. Oh, and you see here? This bent spoon is from my last adventure. Saw the ghost bend it right in front of my own two eyes."

Brown paper bag full of dog crap , G-string , and crayons.

[Kokkey]

"You see officer, the bag of dog crap was from when my dog went, and I didn't have anything to pick it up with but that bag. The crayons are from my little sibling that likes drawing, and the G-string is mine that I wear to feel like a manly man!"

A hog tied Justin Beiber, a shovel, and an I-Pod with the only two song being Never Say Never and I Came in Like a Wrecking Ball.

[Kokonoe]

"This is exactly what it looks like. Want to help?"

Lube, rubber gloves, and the entire first season of Blues Clues

[FaddedFox]

"Well, you see, Officer, my friend left his lube in my car. I am heading over to my grandma's house right now to help her with some gardening so I need the rubber gloves or else I'll just break out in hives and the Blues Clues... Well.. you got me. It is my secret pleasure. I watch it all the time. It is like a blanket, if you will."

A Chucky doll, tree leaves, and a bloody shirt.