Introduction
It's permanent. Not Sharpie Permanent. A more of a 'humans will always cry' sort of permanent.
It will always be there, like the wad of gum hidden on the inside of the girlโs bathroom stall, because no one wants to touch it, and โOh, thatโs always been there,โ is easier than doing something about it.
It's a demotic sort of thing, but a kid like you wouldn't understand unless you went through it first hand. Unless you did it, and we can only say that about a handful of people. And we all know that handful of people are long gone, don't we?
But of course, there is one loop hole. With every person comes a secret. A story behind limp fingers, and maybe a deeper meaning to a 'hello.' In this kind of world, it comes out in a certain object. Maybe its your gold heart necklace, or the scarf your grandma gave you last winter before she passed away. Maybe its a picture, or a porcelain doll, but everybody has one. Even if its not exactly a peachy story behind it.
What's your story?
November 3rd, 1943 ; The day the earth faded.
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Character Sheet
Name: (Full name)
Nickname(s):
Age: (16-40 \ keep in mind you must attend school if your seventeen or under.)
Gender:
Orientation:
Ethnicity:
Appearance: ( Anime Picture\small paragraph. [eye color must be a shade of grey& hair color must be a shade of brown\black.])
Personality: (Atleast one paragraph)
Family: (Family members)
Residence: (Apartment alone\apartment with girlfriend\flat\friends house)
Significant object: (Max;one. Has to be an object. not an animal. )
Story behind object: (Hidden meaning, feelings, story.)
Fears\Phobias:
Dislikes:
Likes:
Hobbies:
Talents: (optional.)
Romantic interest: (optional.)
Theme song(s):
Other:
Rules
-
-Do not join if your not going to post at least once a week. Iโm serious.
-No Mary sues. Period.
- Needs to have three paragraphs a post. At least.
-Please make your characters unique. I have to read every single one of these, I donโt want six of the same personalities.
-One significant object per character. (The object with hidden meaning. - [colored.] )
- If you want to create more than one character, please make a character sheet for each. Not two characters and one sheet.
- Any ideas to move the story along? Don't be afraid to put 'em up on the OOC. :)
- Have funnn.
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- 59 posts here • Page 3 of 3 • 1, 2, 3
The Story So Far... Write a Post » as written by 7 authors
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What I do is assume. And when I assume, thereโs a reason for it. Because with guesses, and assumptions, you canโt really go wrong. Sure, you can wander away from home a bit, but your still in the same neighborhood. I have to assume, because if I donโt; I get lost. I donโt know who likes who, and I donโt understand subtle actions that I normally would. If I donโt assume, the blow would be much harder. If I donโt assume, something sooner or later is going to hit me in the face, and I wonโt even be expecting it. So I expect, and I set my expectations for the worst high. Because I know that if Iโm expecting the worst, things will be better. Sometimes.
So Iโve been assuming that Milo--yes, likes me--but thereโs someone else, and that someone else has something to do with that ring. But ignorance can be my best friend when needed, and right now I was really needing one.
Because whoโs to say that the ring isnโt from his grandfather who died? Or that it isnโt his fatherโs from when he was younger? Whoโs to say that ring isnโt anybodyโs, and Milo just likes it? What if the ring means so much to Milo, and nothing to me? Has absolutely nothing to do with me? Isnโt that--in a way--mean that itโs more important than me? Doesnโt it? Right?
I squeezed his hand, hoping heโd squeeze back. Do I think into things too much?
I responded to Milo, โWhat do you mean?โ Nothing was wrong. Everything was right where it needed to be, and I still wasnโt satisfied.
Is it right to hate myself right now?
โ..Marley.โ And that was when I knocked down all the neatly stacked flyers.
They spilled onto the floor, scattering everywhere as I attempted to keep the rest from falling. And then--of course--a young lady walks in, gushing wind coming from the opened door. It blew the yellow papers in a frenzy away from me, and I think I wouldโve cried if one of the workers wasnโt being so nice about it. I think I still might cry, because some people were still looking at me. Why couldnโt they just mind their own business?
And then the urge to cry was even stronger, because why couldnโt I mind my own business? Why did I have to know about that ring? It wasnโt my story to tell. It had nothing to do with me, and I wasnโt in the right trying to figure out who it was from. If it was even from someone at all.
I grabbed the last paper and handed it to the worker, sadness (empathy?) plaguing the irises of her dark eyes. I didnโt realize it was because I looked like I was on the brink of bawling eyes out until she said it was, โquite alright.โ and that it was an accident. And of course I didnโt know that I practically spewed fifty โIโm sorryโsโ the entire time.
I turned back around, wishing for once--that Nevada hadnโt talked to me, (And that I could melt into the floorboards.) when any other time it wouldโve been the other way around.
So I said the only thing that came to mind.
โHi Nevada.โ
And then immediately regretted it. Nevada doesn't like stupid people.
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Peony was inclined to smile at their antics, but she had been told that it never looked sincere when she did, and since then she always opted not to. It made her come off as rather severe, but it was better than the alternative. Sheโd rather look severe than completely fake.
โThat was my brother the dumbass,โ Julius said as his brother said his goodbyes and disappeared into the storm. Peony did chuckle a little at that, but the sound was tinged with bitterness. She couldnโt help it, and she didnโt mean it in a negative way, it was just that bitterness had become such a ubiquitous facet of her being since she was so sorely disillusioned. Her steps were laden with it as she walked, and no matter how she tried to run from it, bitterness gripped her ankles and wouldnโt let her go, causing her to fall flat on her face. She was use to it now, and didnโt much dwell on itโฆ except at times like these when she wondered how it looked to others. Mostly, it seemed to drive them away, at least the few whoโd tried to get close to her. It wasnโt what she wanted, but it was usually what happened all the same.
โSo, we should get going,โ he suggested, and he demonstrated by walking a few feet away, then turning to see if she was following. Peony fell into step with him. She wasnโt really sure where the River Brew was, since sheโd never been there, so she stayed close to him, letting him lead.
โSo,โ she said, her voice still tinge with the ever-present monotone sheโd adopted, โdoes your brother always leave you alone at night with strange girls you find on the street? He should be more careful. I could be a psychopath, you know,โ she said. She meant it as a joke, but the tone of voice she used when saying it was completely serious.
They didnโt have long to walk, it seemed, because they reached an establishment with the words โRiver Brewโ painted in large letters along the window. Peony stopped and looked in. Hmmโฆ those boys at the register seemed familiar somehow. She squinted her eyes more carefully and took a closer look. Ah, one of them was the boy from the library. What was it? No, she had never gotten his name. Which must mean that the other was his friend, whom she had only seen briefly, but could still recognize nonetheless for his sheer attractiveness, not to mention the intimate scene sheโd been party to in the parking lot was enough to establish them both in her mind for a while to come.
โWell, Iโm assuming weโre here,โ she said to the new acquaintance by her side, waving her hand in the direction of the painted letters.
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River Brew, I have a lot of memories swirling around this place starting from my first date to the day Iโd met Marceline for the first time. Each one had been interesting to say the least because not only was I sixteen on my first date and dating someone of an age I shouldnโt have been but that was a few days before I met Marceline at the very same table with the very same person. It was an awkward meeting to say the least but weโd all had a good time and made it regular to meet up at least once a week to keep life from being boring. โIโd say your assumption is correct,โ I answered as I moved to the door and pushed it open and held it open because Iโm a gentleman at heart even if I donโt act like it. She seemed like she needed a friend anyway โ Iโd be willing to offer if sheโd deal with all my bullshit of sorts. I didnโt have many friends anyway. Was Robby still my friend? Itโs stupid to ask a friend if theyโre a friend so Iโll let him ask me because I know he will.
Suddenly a single sheet of paper slid towards me until one corner slipped under my shoe. It was interesting that one of their neatly stacked flyers would be on the floor but I picked it up and turned to head in to hand it back to whoever was stacked them. What I saw was interesting enough, a young man struggling to pick them up and apologizing enough times to make me want to laugh and a worker who looked only slightly frustrated. It was who I saw after that shredded that tiny hope of not embarrassing myself. Why did Camilo Reyes have to be here today of all days? Iโm used to seeing him when Iโm working and those days I pass by the dance studio to see how heโs doing but never has it been unplanned like this. Luckily, well I hope itโs luckily, he hasnโt seen me and I can build up whatever confidence I need so I can face him with whatever dignity Iโve managed to keep since that day six years ago. God, how long after that had I gone to Mercutio, destroyed and hoping for whatever kind of comfort he could offer? Maybe a year or two.... That doesnโt justify my actions now four years later but itโs become habitual. Everything is habitual.
When everything isnโt habitual it isnโt controlled and I donโt like not having control of situations because they can go anyway they want and I donโt like that. It means I donโt expect whatโs coming and that worries me just because when you donโt know whatโs coming you donโt know if itโs good or bad. โPeony, what would you like? Iโll treat you to whatever seeing as I invited you and everything.โ I donโt enjoy the way my heart hits my ribcage. I donโt enjoy how Milo looks at that boy right before he goes to order the same coffee I know he always orders. I want to distract him and demand to know who exactly that boy is. Not that I have any right because heโs allowed to move on and I already have albeit horribly. But Iโve tried which is the point. I somehow feel betrayed in a way but I spot the ring sitting on his finger when he hands over the money to the cashier and that elates my mood drastically. But at the same time it makes the ring Iโm wearing feel five thousand times heavier because I know it weighs on his mind enough. He told me once. โI know I should take it off but.... I feel like if I do Iโll be breaking a promise and I donโt break promises. You know that Ben. Thatโs why I came today; I promised.โ It made me feel guilty but at the same time I didnโt worry about it. I had never worn my own around him in a visible way but it was always there sitting on that chain on my neck hidden under my shirt.
Iโd realised a bit too late that today I was wearing it on my right middle finger like I always did when I knew I wasnโt going to see him. I hadnโt bothered to think when I lifted my hand in greeting when he turned with two cups in his hands and when his eyes landed on me. It was automatic โ I always used my right hand to say hello to people whether I knew them or not. So I knew that he would see it because heโs a stickler for the details and a ring like ours isnโt found just anywhere on anyone. It was my grandfatherโs, given to him by his mother way before the world lost its colour. To see a replica would be rare and exciting and Iโd ask them all about it and invite them out all the time so we could connect through that one similarity. But I wouldnโt see another person with it. He would see it, he would know and he would kill me. It was that simple. I wasnโt Benvolio Omihara anymore (he didnโt know that was my original last name) but I was Julius Felize. And I had ruined everything.
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The woman standing behind the counter looks at me as if Iโve really inconvenienced her day by telling her the specifics of my coffee but from my side sheโs inconveniencing me. I have money โ I donโt need to work and if my helping her get paid is bothering her I can just leave. โPlease,โ I add and I smile a little. I do kind of feel bad because Iโve never had to do a single thing for myself until I moved out two years ago and even then my mother insisted on sending people to my home to do things for me. Itโs severely tampering with my independence but these days Iโm managed to turn them away without them having done a single thing but I keep them around long enough to make my mother think they have done something. Obviously if they ratted me out I wouldnโt be affected in any way but they would in the sense that they would most likely be fired for failing to do the job that they were hired to do in the first place. Sheโd probably tell them that Iโm just stupid and young and donโt know what I want so they have to show me what I want. Little does she know I know very well what I want and I would just about give her a heart attack if I ever said it in the language she holds so close.
She blushes light pink when I hand her more than our drinks are even worth and tell her to keep the change as her own personal tip โ I do feel like an ass at the moment. Less gentlemanly than I normally am because she isnโt someone I really have to impress in order to gain life points. Not that Iโve ever really been after life points to begin with for itโs more likely that Iโve been after โMOMโ points. Mom would hate the drinks I have in my hands because common store coffee isnโt worthy of the rich but it smells more than amazing right now and I turn to hand one to Marley. But that was paused because not only had he turned to talk to whoever had called him but Iโd seen someone I talk to. The man Iโd come to know as Benvolio stood there holding the door open for a girl who looked younger than even me but I knew him and I knew that it was nothing more than that refreshing kindness he offered to everyone. When he lifted a hand I wanted to reciprocate but the coffees clasped in my hands made it difficult but it didnโt matter โ Iโd seen what I needed to.
Just the smallest glint, a fracture of a figment of light, reflected off of something wrapped around his middle finger and the colour was one Iโd memorized. No one else had that colour and nothing else could be that colour because only one other person I knew had it and only one other person would ever wear it. It hit me like a brick through a window and the world as it was shattered and in a haste put itself back together. Everything looked exactly the same and I was exactly the same but everything was different and I was different and I couldnโt accept that. โMars, Iโm putting our stuff down on that table,โ I muttered as I pointed to a table nearby. โIโm just going to go say hello to my friend.โ I didnโt bother to explain who or why because I know Iโm not the kind of person to bother with saying hello to anybody. But Julius was different. I love him. I canโt let this slip by without repercussions on his behalf so that he can repent for what heโs done to my psyche. Had I know Ben was Julius this whole time I doubt I would have Marley, I would have become this alcoholic whore and I doubt I would have become a pessimistic human being.
I didnโt say anything, didnโt give any kind of warning and I sure didnโt think about giving any kind of warning. I just picked up the hand he had held up in greeting like I had always used to and lifted it to examine it for that flash Iโd seen. And I was right, there it sit, looking oh so innocent and oh so natural like it had belonged there. It did belong there and it belonged on me which was why I was so hurt and confused as to why he would even lie to me when all this time all Iโve been hoping for is to meet him again. Just meet him. I didnโt want anything from him and I know I donโt want to go back to how weโd used to be when just being around each other was enough. I wanted to cry. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to never see him again. I wanted to be impulsive and act out all the built up feelings that have been sitting in my mind for the past six years. There was nothing I could do.
โWeโll know each other forever right? Forever and ever and weโll never ever not know each other even if Mama were to find out?โ
โOf course Milo. Iโll never be separated from you even if your mother tells us we canโt be side by side. Always. Iโll be your own personal angel who makes sure you grow up to be a brilliant young man.โ
โJulius?โ
โYea?โ
โTe quiero.โ
And suddenly the fit of anger Iโd been in was gone โ he hadnโt lied to me at all. He had said all those years ago that he would never be separated from me, that weโd always be side by side. Julius has been here, with me, hurting himself in ways I could never just to see me. โWhy?โ It wasnโt fair that he was left to suffer alone while I blindly and happily went on living in the ignorance that I would never see him again. โWhy didnโt you tell me? Why didnโt you fucking tell me?โ I donโt want to be with Julius the way I had wanted to the first three years after my mother had made sure he and I never close again. Iโm happy. Truly happy, with Marley. But if I can have Julius back, just as a friend โ even just as that guy who I have coffee with sometimes โ Iโd be happier. I wonder if he knows. I hope he does. I believe I may have let it slip once and maybe that little burst of joy I got whenever Marley texted while I was around him was hint enough. He pieces things together. Julius is smart.
Smarter than me anyway. I don't use rational thinking because my brain automatically starts to warp everything to make him look like the bad guy for if he isn't then I am. It shows me nothing than that he lied and that he left me in the dark for the past year or so that I've known him. He's the one to blame for his own suffering and for my ignorance. I can pin all of this on him because I'm the good guy here and I would have told him everything I knew if I knew what he did and he knew what I did. Julius has known for the longest time and has known who I am but he let me go on thinking he was some other person he wasn't. It wasn't fair. It's not fair. "Fuck you."
And I punched him.
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Watching him flail in a flurry of yellow flyers at the same instant that someone walks in the door is probably the most entertaining thing I've seen in the last few years. That's right, years. Dare I say that I might actually be happy that he just happened to walk into the River Brew while I was there? Well I did, so even if I didn't want to, it's too late. Still, I didn't smile like I was happy to see him or laugh at him wickedly like the evil entity that everyone seemed to think I was. I just stared, watching until the mess had been cleared and the inital shock had died down. "Hi Nevada." My name sounds beautiful on his lips. Conceit can be a wonderful thing โ my name sounds beautiful on everyone's lips, with the exception of the obvious because everything sounds like rot on his lips. I have no idea what rot would sound like, but I imagine it would be something like Acelyn Winefield's voice. Yes, I really do have something against him; a nasty sort of... Russian grudge. I'd just love for all sorts of bad things to happen to him, even though I don't know him that well and it is therefore not my place to judge him for faults at all. Anyway, this isn't about Winefield, and he doesn't deserve it even if I am insulting him. He's not worth my insults.
I watched Marley closely, examined him, examined the guy he was with โ presumably his boyfriend from the looks of things โ and then wondered what I'd say. Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing. I turned ready to just walk away nonchalantly without another word, Titania glued to my heels and had to stop when I noticed that the presumable boyfriend of Marley's was standing infront of someone else who had just walked in, scrutinizing every detail of something... coloured on one of his hands. It made my eyes ache and I reached up to rub the heel of my hand in. I realized that I was staring when Titania pulled on my shirt and called my name, but I didn't reply to him. I didn't get a chance. In that split second, before I had a chance to blink, that guy rammed his fist into the other guy's face, and people tell me I have rage issues. I was a little stunned, to say the least, and I was actually a little amused. This is the kind of thing that I'm able to fully enjoy because it means that there's someone out there just as miserable as I am. Sad, isn't it, that I find pleasure in other peoples' pain? That makes me a sadist, and not the creepy sexual torture kind of sadist either, so don't even think about it. Those who automatically made that assumption... you're all perverts. Anyone else is safe. Ha. I sound like an asshole; and please, let it be known that I'm smiling contently to myself as I write this. I actually laugh at the fact that I'm an asshole and that I do nothing to change it.
That's probably exactly why I turned around and walked right up to Marley and smiled at him like I had something nice to say. Instead.... "Is that your dog?" I pointed at the guy with the temper issue. And I just smiled, because I knew that I probably could've fallen for Marley Kincaid too, if it weren't for Vacys. If he had let me go before he left instead of promising me he'd come back, yes I might have moved on. Now? Could I give two shits about what or who Marley is doing? No. Really, no. I like him, I do, and it might be difficult to believe, but it's true. If he'd've just called when I was in the mood to talk to someone (basically just after I've had my afternoon tea), then I might've picked up. Maybe.... Ehh.... Yeah. Yeah, I would've. I think. He'd have to try again for me to test it.
No. No, I wouldn't. Never mind. As likeable as he is.... Or.... No, this is one of those things that make me all indecisive and confused, and I hate indecisive confusion.
I do like him. Really. I do.
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But thatโs just Nevada, just as Milo is just Milo. I canโt do something I know nothing about, so I just shake my head. No. Now Iโm nodding. I donโt know how to answer that, because even though--
โHis name is Milo. And yeah, heโs mine.โ
--Wanted to cough its way up from out of my throat, it wouldnโt budge. Youโll probably find more spine in jellyfish, but you wonโt find these sort of thoughts anywhere. Iโm a one of a kind, and those beautiful people just intensified. Iโm pretty sure the world just intensified. Especially that color forcing its way through my peripheral vision. There was just too much of it.
โMilo.โ I replied bluntly; avoiding the question, โHis name is Milo.โ
I didnโt look over. I didnโt turn to watch Milo hit that guy, and I sure as hell didnโt stop him. Should I have? Maybe. Did I? No. I just kept watching Nevada for a little longer. Heโd disappear any second, I was sure. Iโll blink, and heโll vanish. Nothing but his shoes will be left, and Iโll have no distractions left. Itโs funny how I find Nevada the most interesting guy in the world one day, and then the next the scariest shit Iโve ever seen. Heโs like Milo. Actually, I take that back. Theyโre nothing alike.
I guess I could talk about Nevada all day. I could watch those beautiful people behind him all day. Or come up with a way on how to get my phone back from home without Dad catching me. Truth is; I could come up with a million excuses as to why I shouldnโt go get Milo, but only one was telling me why I should, and its rattling its way down my throat.
I murmured a, โsorry,โ then approached Milo. I didnโt know what to do. I didnโt know what was going on.
โMilo,โ I spoke to him carefully, like a wounded animal, โLetโs go, okay?โ
I reached for his elbow.
โMilo?โ
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He recognized the twinkle in Astrid's eyes better than she understood. He understood the many layers of her smiles, and what they meant. Acelyn also understood the terrible effects she had on men, and women, alike. Hypnotizing, engulfing every brain cell in a man's brain until it made him a stuttering, slobbering idiot. She had all of those abilities, and because Nevada wasn't kissing her ass, he was interesting. Astrid was the type of woman that left you guessing, she made you want to discover new definitions for rain and adventure. Instead of paper, her skin was made out of the strongest leatherโweathered from experience, tragedies and misinterpretations. Her weapons was her razor tongue, lashing out whenever you thought you got her character. Acelyn glanced at her, still drumming his fingers next to his frappucino. She preferred small and short-lived as apposed to everlasting; did Nevada know that? Doubtfully. He didn't give a shit about anyone besides his brother. He didn't throw his faith onto tightropes, hoping his friends could catch himโdid he even have any friends? Acelyn stopped drumming his fingers and leaned forward, staring bleakly at Nevada. He wouldn't have been surprised if he didn't, not with that attitude.
Titania's remarks remained unheard. Maybe if he'd been bothering to pay attention to anyone besides Nevada, he might've laughed. He might've thought it was clever that even the small, adorable boy thought his older brother was being prick. That he was used to him being a prick. But no, he hadn't heard anything. When Astrid snorted, Acelyn's eyebrows uncreased, just a little bit, just enough so that he didn't look like he was going to throw the steaming mug into Nevada's smug face. The idea was tempting enough. He didn't look at anyone else in the River's Brew, and couldn't really be bothered to notice anyone staring in their direction. Right now, they only existed. His flustered anger only existed. Jealousy burdened his shoulders, causing him to slump forward with unrestrained frustration. He felt like fire was burning his ears, sticking to his skin and reminding him that he wasn't the one Astrid wanted to dissect. Not that it really mattered. Astrid knew him inside and outโmostly, and if she didn't understand something, she dug her nails into it until she understood. Sometimes, Acelyn felt like she pushed his buttons on purpose just do see what he'd do; see how angry he'd get, and how far he'd go. He never would've laid a finger on her, but he'd been close a few times. Yelling mere inches from her face. Not because she'd said anything particular, but because his bitterness often bottled itself in booze. Really, it depended on what he drank.
Whoever said breathing exercised worked were liars. Fuck breathing exercises. Making his heart slow down, and his mind get quiet, and his skin feel like it actually fits and that he doesn't want to disintegrate into the puffy seat. It wasn't manageable. He didn't feel like he owned the world anymore, and he didn't feel like Astrid would take it with him; come hell or high water. There was no one else that had the guts to jump out of planes without a second thought, without thinking about whether or not the parachute would actually open. Nevada was threatening something, and he probably didn't even know it. So, when Astrid sighed loudly, plopping her cup down onto the table so that speckles of hot coffee splashed onto his forearm, Acelyn's dusky eyes regarded her. The comforting, lukewarm atmosphere returned to the River's Brew and his inadvertently clenched fists eased out across the table, fanning limply across Lottie's hand. He caught Astrid's wink and stared hard for a moment, then laughed awkwardly before settling back against his seat. There wasn't any point in getting angry, especially not when she was taking everything in ease. He'd lost.
โYeah?โ Acelyn mused, turning his attention towards Astrid. His fingers remained on Lottie's, gently curling his thumb into her palm. If he felt any fluttering feelings in the pit of his stomach, he wasn't letting anything on. The previous slight still felt heavy in his gut, sickening anything sweet. โTake you home?โ He sounded incredulous. Honestly, he couldn't even bare saying Nevada's name. It felt like he was saying something disgusting like: cancer, or herpes. Whichever came first. His eyes darted from Astrid to Lottie. He doubted that Astrid really felt bad, because she wasn't the type of woman to feel bad about anything, especially since he'd invited her to the cafe in the first place. But he wasn't stupid. He knew, or thought, she was trying to create an opportunity between him and Lottie. Whatever there was between them, anyway. It could've been nothing. What would she see in him now? He was as drawn as a bowstring, all tense shoulders and rippling volcanoes. Acelyn couldn't find any words; if there were any, they were lodged deep in his throat. His fingers tightened around Lottie's as Astrid rose from her seat, pulling on her coat and snatching her things from the table.
His whole body buzzed with a feeling far too familiar. That feeling that he always got before the world caved in around him. It had happened before, twice. Acelyn knew he was being selfish in ways that didn't make sense. Astrid wasn't his to command, wasn't his to watch, wasn't his to stop her from seeing anyone she wanted toโand he didn't care. Well, he didn't think he did. It was different with Nevada. He was wrong for her. He was wrong for anyone. The sweetly sick tone of Astrid's voice makes him want to vomit. Instead of commenting on it, Acelyn merely waved his fingers towards Titiana and wiggled them. Honestly, he didn't want to look at Astrid and Nevada as they walked away and bristled considerable when he heard Nevada's cool voice slithering from his lips; relaying nothing and giving nothing and emoting nothing. His eyes landed on Lottie and he found himself feeling a little better, just a little. She was a piece of sunshine peeking out from the clouds, offering everything. She was so unlike Nevada.
"Come on then, Astrid. Maybe I should drop Titania off back at my place and we can spend the evening together."
Acelyn's jaw clenched, muscles jumping along his temple. He always walked a fine line between panic and control, and successfully hid it all behind anger and sarcasm; charismatic nonchalance with a twinge of sincere, genuine kindness. His eyes avoided Lottie's for a moment; confusion covering his face like a mask. He blinked once, twice, three times, knowing full well that she was watching him intently, but didn't look up โ he couldn't look at her. Nevada's statement hung dry like a corpse, cutting through the tension and adding layers upon layers of contained fury.
โI'm sorry,โ the Professor finally mouthed, pulling his hand away from hers so that he could tangle his fingers on top of the table. โHe'sโ...โ He laughed softly, running his fingers through his dark hair. โHe's a shitty guy, really.โ
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When he spoke I didnโt know what to say for everything I had to say was some mixture of unknown words and past desires. The sentences and phrases and paragraphs that were forming were nothing but nonsense and garbled shit that would make me sound fragmented in my speech. None of it would make any sense to someone as sophisticated as him. It would all be incomprehensible in the worst of ways and any effort I could ever make to make it comprehensible would be immediate failures. I was pained in that way because I had never once had any trouble speaking to him like he was best friend, my other half. In ways he still was. When I lost him I lost all that spontaneous energy and all the will to bother changing myself from this over thinking blob of wasted space on the planet. My spot here is useless but I still use it up and breathe my share of oxygen like my parents told me to do from the day I was born.
โKeep on living Jules. Even if people tell you not to, even if you donโt see a reason and the light at the end of the tunnel blinks out. Keep living because I worry that youโll quit. Youโve never been a fighter Jules. Fight for life.โ
My mother had been a fine woman full of Japanese pride and deeply rooted in the culture of her people. She was sturdy and stable and wonderfully kind though strict with discipline. She always made us concentrate of homework and education but made sure that we had a good family dynamic with each other. She smelled like wild flowers and apple slices and always had the softest smile of her face like everything made her happy โ even her eyes smiled. When she came down with that heart condition that same woman prevailed even when her body slowly started to fail her. She fought to the bitter end and right before she shut her eyes she told me those words; the last ones she would ever say. Everyone had received their own but mine were more of a request then parting words from a mother to her son. She had said them as if she were going to get out of the bed and take us to the amusement park โ yet her hand had been so frail in mine. I almost quit then. Itโs just the repetition of her words in the carven of my thoughts that keeps me from falling.
That and the hope that maybe heโll forgive me.
My chances are very low.
And thatโs obvious the instant his fist connects with my face. I canโt say Iโm surprised because really Iโm not but anyone would have that initial shock when knuckles connect with your cheek bone. My feet stumble just slightly until my back braces against the wall. Instantly my hand comes up to rub the spot and I can feel that my face isnโt registering pain or anger or shock but that pure, untainted amusement he always makes me feel. I almost want to laugh because itโs been so long since Iโve managed to be around someone as impulsive as Milo. Someone who feels emotions in such a raw state that the only way to express them is through action. I love that about him. I love a lot of things about him. It wasnโt until I saw someone come up behind and call him name that I did the one thing I shouldnโt have. I laughed.
โI missed you Milo,โ I forced out in a pocket of air.
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Not that Iโm very surprised because he always did the oddest things that people normally would never do normally and I knew this about him. He would always laugh when people wouldnโt laugh and get upset when people wouldnโt get upset. I donโt know what it is but itโs charming about him in a not so charming way but then again Iโm always swept away by the ones people see as oddities. Except Marley. But heโs special in a way that words canโt begin to describe. Words canโt describe Julian either but words arenโt needed because he describes himself just by walking down the street with that confidence of his. That cool analytical confidence that shames my pride into the nether regions of my mind that I canโt reach it to drag it back up. Always, always. No matter if itโs been six years or if it had been twenty years heโll always have that effect on me โ and it makes me want to hit him again. Iโve been living in my own pride for six years, built up this perfectly executed persona over those same years and have moved on. Iโve become someone independent of him and here he comes knocking down every peg Iโve ever built up against him. It isnโt fair.
Iโve wanted it for so long.
Then he had to go and say he missed me and I knew that my breath was falling short of my lungs needs. I would have responded had I not heard a voice Iโd come to want to hear. It was more important to me that Marley sounded hurt than that Julian had missed me. I dropped my guard and let go of the tension I had built up in my arms in preparation to hit him again. There was no need for the violence. No need for the amount of anger that I had felt coursing through my veins. It was gone anyway. All of it expelled in the single punch Iโd delivered to the face I had so badly wanted to remember. I wouldnโt forget this time. I refused to forget. I would memorize everything I could and burn it into the tissue of my brain. โYea,โ I bluntly said back. I was feeling little of anything. His appearance had caused my immediate anger and the immediate numb that came after. โYou too.โ I couldnโt think of anything to say to make this have that โwarm reunionโ kind of feeling that I had always imagined our meeting being at first.
It occurred to me that he would wonder who Marley was and I wanted to tell him, to shove it into his face and force him to accept it. Make so it painfully obvious that he could never have me again. โJulian.โ I said it in such a professional tone you wouldnโt think just moments before I had punched him with all the hatred I could have possibly had. I turned to Marley, smiled and unconsciously ran my hand through his hair. I moved closer to him and leaned to whisper in his ear. โSorry. Iโll explain all this later.โ I stood up and grasped onto the bottom of my shirt and tugged to straighten it out; following by adjusting my glasses. A deep breath in and I turned after taking hold of Marleyโs hand because he was more comforting than anything else could ever be. I was happy just to know that he was there and that he would continue to be there. (Not exactly in that spot but I hope you know what I mean.) And maybe this whole time Iโve been craving comfort. In the endless amounts of liquor filled bottles, in the meaningless sex with people I didnโt care about and in the stone set metal of a ring set on my finger. But Iโve finally found a permanent one.
โJulian this is Marley Kincaid.โ I didnโt know why it was so hard. In front of him I was able to say anything. โMy boyfriend,โ I finished just as steadily as Iโd started. Out of needed reflex I squeezed Marleyโs hand. I was nervous, disrupted and I felt like I was betraying someone Iโd vowed everything to. Everything was flitting through my head all at one time. Every word, every promise, every lie, every truth, every laugh, every tear, every kiss, every touchโฆ everything. It was flooding into the forefront of my mind at such a quick speed in such a large quantity that I wanted to cry out in pain and down as many Advil as my body can handle. Or I wanted to pass out. Or maybe I wanted to cry and then pass out. Either way I was doing one or the other or both. Didnโt matter which one it happened to be. I would prefer if I just passed out thought because feeling pain isnโt quite my forte though I feel like Iโm in excruciating pain right now. Mental pain. Maybe physical pain. Physical pain because I wasnโt quite prepared for how much Iโd want him after six years. But I donโt. I do but I donโt. I do want him but I donโt want him in the least.
I want everything to do with him but I donโt want to have a single thought about him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. But I love him. I love him. I love him. No, I donโt feel anything for him. Heโs just Julian now. Never was but now will always be. I have Marley and Marley is all I need. And then my heart seemed to stammer in my chest and my vision suddenly went blurry. โMarley Kincaid.โ โฆ. โMy boyfriend.โ It felt a whole lot more real suddenly since Iโd managed to say it out-loud and too my freaking ex for that matter. The first person Iโd ever told and it had to be the person who had been my first everything. Not that anyone but me would know just how fucked up that was but to me it felt like a huge step forward apart from the shadow Iโd been living in. Like stepping outside to see snow for the first time. Really. Living in Spain you donโt get to see much snow except for on TV and that just doesnโt do the crisp, clean purity of snow justice. Ten years old and seeing snow for the first time? Itโs like taking a cold shower. Shocking, petrifying and amazing all at the same time. I sometimes wonder if I still have a part of that accent that used to saturate my voice so heavily back then.
Have I screwed up?
- 59 posts here • Page 3 of 3 • 1, 2, 3
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View All » Add Character » 13 Characters to follow in this universe
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Julius Monnefay Felize
"You Can Run From Your Past But It Will Always Dictate Your Future."
Nevada Angelus Hayes
:Let Me Out Of This Dream:
Camilo Felipe Reyes
:|:I Hate This World... This Reality:|:
Marley Jonah Kincaid
The kind of human wreckage that you love.
Trending
Marley Jonah Kincaid
The kind of human wreckage that you love.
Julius Monnefay Felize
"You Can Run From Your Past But It Will Always Dictate Your Future."
Camilo Felipe Reyes
:|:I Hate This World... This Reality:|:
Nevada Angelus Hayes
:Let Me Out Of This Dream:
Most Followed
Nevada Angelus Hayes
:Let Me Out Of This Dream:
Marley Jonah Kincaid
The kind of human wreckage that you love.
Julius Monnefay Felize
"You Can Run From Your Past But It Will Always Dictate Your Future."
Camilo Felipe Reyes
:|:I Hate This World... This Reality:|:
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A Kind of Demotic
1 ... 9, 10, 11by SuckOnMyJuiceBox on Mon Apr 11, 2011 4:15 pm
- 206 Replies
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- Last post by TheSilverProject
on Tue Oct 25, 2011 11:27 pm
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A Kind of Demotic
Most recent OOC posts in A Kind of Demotic
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
What the heck is this Mibba; please direct me! I'll sign up as Yoniboni, but I don't know where to go~
I shall add you to MSN, even though I never actually use the darn thin'. I'm still bent out of shape that they actually changed everything. Vanilla MSN was so much cooler. Ha ha ha, anyhow. I WUVS YOUESS TOO DEAR. I'll try out one of those things.
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
You do Mibba? Here's my usernamey; Aberdeen-
And if you don't, here is my email: LookAliiveSunShine@yahoo.com
And if you don't do that.. I might just have to shrivel up and die. But hey; I.. I WUV YOUES. <3 I wuv youes so much.
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
Because seriously. YOUR Juicey.
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
I forgot what else I was going to say, but I love you guys so fucking much. DON'T FORGET THAT. D:< EVER.
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
>_> <_<
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
I'm going to have a shitty summer but I might get a tutoring job so at least I'll have shit to do.
But aside from that I'm in the happiest mood possible right now because I'm reading the JR manga and it's wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.
Yes, I spend time doing stuff like this.
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
They'd have to be ultra drunk, because Ace wants to rip his throat out now for stealin' Astrid away from him. Even though he's got beautifuladorablecutecutecute Lottie with him. He doesn't understand himself. Such is the life of a teacher.
Lozeleyloveydoveycuppycakes.
I wuv' you, too.
-wails- I wanna' ride a horse.
POSTING NOW. Well, writing. Posting. Loving.
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
That's harsh but true.
YONIBONIMCLOVESTEAKANDFRIES!!
^
Your new nickname. Cause I love you.
Money and shakes make the best kind of something.
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
Lmfao. At least Ace's got that. Nevvi.... It's like... he's blind and eternally PMSing and he has a brother complex.... He just has a bunch of problems with no redeeming qualities.
Ehh.... The doctor. Eeeeehhhhhh....
I got to ride Belle today! She's one of the smallest horses in the herd, and I thought I was going to crush her, but I didn't. I was so happy. ^_^
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
I'll post with him when I get back so Astrid, Nevada and Lottie can continue. And Nevvi's little adorable brother. Huzzah!
I'm frozennn to the bones, I am~ I can't undermine your eyes, your face~
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
My allergies were hitting me hard and at 4am I woke up and because it was so hot I couldn't fall back asleep.
There.
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
He replied? I.. I'm so.. I need glasses. And you know what? I don't even care, (even though I didn't mind in the first place..) because it was worth the wait. Martina is the cutest thing I've ever see. Don't panic if he doesn't turn up tomorrow, because I definitely, most likely, positively will not have him locked in my room somewhere. No ma'm. So don't even come over to look for him. He won't be tied up under my bed. Crazy imagination you have there, NekoFloatie.
Garh. I've been having serious writers block. I use to draw alot last year, and lately all I've been wanting to do is draw. And it's the stupidest thing, too. PUPPETS. I mean, its a cool word and all, but puppettttsss?
My patrol officer and therapist think I'm pyschotic.
ANAH! What are you doing awake, missy?
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
Ah, Luke replied. He's kind of a cutie. Don't worry, though. I'm frustrating myself for not being able to finish Martina's profile. -beats self in the head- I'm gonna get SO far behind, and then I won't know what's going on, and then I'll become some kind of creepy lurker person, and I hate lurkers! What's up with the other people?
Awww, Juice! -huggles- It'll be okay~! When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim, swim!
Yeah. I went there.
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
Fuck yes I watch the news.
I'm more amused by his name than the actual situation, though.
And rrghh. I want to post but I'm waiting for whoever plays Luke to reply. The fudddgepuddingg. You know what else really gets on my nerves? The people on Carnivores and Love Notes.
I'M SORRY! I'm such an ass. D: But I can't help it, because I can't write when I'm angry. And that only makes me angrier. I dont like it when I'm angry but yet I anger so easily. - cries- WHY.
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
I love Astrid. Nevada doesn't... really... I don't think.... I'm not sure. I'll have to check into that. He's a dick. Anthony Weiner is also a dick. His name is Anthony, right? Is anyone else here lame enough to watch the news? Stephen Harper's kitty is effin' adorable.... Jus' sayin'.
OMG! I know, right! When I found out, I was devastated. No joke. 'Tis why when the Organization assigned my Kuroshitsuji character they made me Alois. Because Ciel knows the cake is a lie. And I didn't. And I accidentally found out via motivational poster and cried. I'm the eccentric one; always expected to be the most vibrant member of the Orgy, the life of the party, and the force that keeps everyone else shooting sunshine and rainbows out their asses. I just made everyone's day. Yo, number XI here, of the original thirteen members of the Organization XIII, aka my school's anime club. I was assigned Marluxia for those of you who know Kingdom Hearts.... Then I discovered VOCALOID (thanks to HoneyBuns) and became a MagicalNeko instead.
Yeah.
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
There was a strange person at the Con dressed up in... I dunno what... carrying around a piece of paper with "FREE HUGGLES!! <3" Written on it. She would interrupt pictures and everything giving huggles. ._. She scared me. Gimme Super Nanny any day.
Without a post from Ace, I dunno if a post from Astrid would be a great idea. Though I know she'd be running over and pushing Milo down like a bitch. She enjoys violence, when it is inflicted on her. But to her, it looks like mindless, stupid violence, so she'll be all like, "DUDE! WTF?! BACK OFF!" And get into other people's business because that's who she is and you don't fuck with Astrid. o_o So if she's telling me that's what I'm going to write, then dammit, my ass is going to write it.
No lies.
And also, at Con, I found out about the cake. And that it's a lie.
I almost cried. ;-;
Re: [OOC] A Kind of Demotic
I FOUND HONEYBUNS! She just posted on Lovely's RPG a little while ago, and I had to read it because everything she writes is delicious. Mmmm.... Sansa/Felipe. You're missing an awesome RPG, Mein Liebe.
YES, it freakin' is. It'd be a little sexier over here if Niklas would take off his shirt once in a while, but.... You know. Of course... if I had a little taste of Italy.... Have I told you that Heyzel, one of the sexiest men in my haremโ I mean... home... refuses to walk around the house half-nude because there are children in the house? Meaning Peter, because Peter demanded his own room in the Union House a little while ago even though he doesn't use it.... And I think he may be including Liechtenstein. Oh... and he took Toris shopping for a new used car, and came back with some friggin' Chev Silverado and a load of bicycles. That was just after I got home that they got back and I wanted to banish them to the Luka Box. But I can't because Toris is adorable. Feliks has been fun. Roderich was picking on me, correcting my riding form when I was on Kahlua bareback, and Feliks threatened to make Warsaw his new capital. I think, to Roderich, that means that Feliks wants to invade his vital regions, so he quieted up a little.
Mmmm. Cesar Millan. I agree. Sexy old guy. Haha! Horse Whisperer and Super Nanny! Super Nanny is a child whisperer, I think. But she scares me. o.o
Ksenia doesn't like being bit on the hand by his brother. ^_^ And he once called Viena crying because one of his fish died, and maybe he really only wanted to hear Viena's voice. But he's not in love with his STRAIGHT best friend. Ohh... Sen. If only he knew.