Earth (2015)

As Xander lept on the other stage heard the 'hissy fit' comment. "Now, what in fucks sake made you say that? Are you bleeding daft in the head, you don't say that to someone who can kick your ass half way to next Tuesday." Xander said taking Izzies side. He liked her sure, but you don't say that to anyone but a child. Xander wasn't gonna try and calm her down either. Izzie had a right to be pissed. Xander wanted his concert to go by uneventfully and go to the afterparty, there would be bodacious babes, amazing weed, and a fuck ton of booze. He needed to get stoned and laid badly. He pulled out a smoke and light it, then he handed to Izzie do to the simple fact she looked like she needed it. Then he lite one for himself. This was gonna be a long night.

Johnny looked at izzie. ( I wasn't trying to be mean sorry :) ) Look Are you serious
Izzie,Johnny looked at her with Pain in his eyes " Come here ". They went over to a corner and johnny smiled
"I'm sorry, i just acted like a jerk but my dad i am like him and since you are the leader I give you the chance to Kick me out
Izzie Looked at him like he was crazy. " I think i just want the band to be perfect you know. To show our mom and dads we chose
The right thing

Johnny kissed Izzi on the cheek. "This is the concert that might change our lives now,are you with me Leader.
It's your choice." Johnny gave out his hand.

Juniper blushed slightly when Johnny put her in the spotlight, she wasn't comfortable with everyone concentrating on her. Then he invited the other band onstage with the rest of them, and told Izzie not to throw a hissy fit about it. At first Juniper had to think about what hissy fit meant it was one of those expressions that she had never used and had only heard in America. Izzie immediately took offense as to be expected from her and the guy named Xander from the other band backed her up "Oi come on everybody lets just get it done and make the audience glad they came".

As Izzie glared back at Johnny, the guitarist from Chicago Loop, along with the rest of his band, had come up on the stage, and in the advent of her little outburst, he actually backed her up--much to Izzie's own small level of surprise, in all honesty. "Now, what in fuck's sake made you say that? Are you bleeding daft in the head? You don't say that to someone who can kick your ass half way to next Tuesday." Izzie couldn't help but glance, a bit confused, at the Chicago Loop guitarist. He took my side? That's...unexpected. She hadn't thought Xander had really liked her...but then again, it was a fact known to nobody, not even her, in all truth, that Izzie felt that way about more or less everybody. Even her own bandmates, she was sometimes afraid, disliked her, maybe even hated her.

But that was a prospect completely aside from the current moment. Xander held out a lit cigarette to her, which she took, nodding her head silently in grateful thanks before she took a drag of the cigarette. Yeah...I definitely needed that...

But in the advent of her outburst and Xander's entrance, Johnny looked at her with a strange expression in his eyes--she'd expected him to fire back with something angry, argue his point at her...something conflictive like that. But the expression in his eyes was less antagonistic and more...hurt? Huh?

"Come here," he said, his voice far gentler than it had been previously. Raising an eyebrow, a bit confused, Izzie nevertheless cautiously followed him as Johnny walked over to a distant corner of the stage, keeping her silence as they walked. Lenchi glanced back after them a bit curiously....before he promptly realised that turning his neck to look at them was getting to be a bother, and he lost interest.

"I'm sorry I just acted like a jerk," he smiled at her. "But my dad...I'm like him. And since you're the leader, I give you the chance to kick me out."

Izzie furrowed her brow, staring at him as though he'd just grown an extra head out his ass or something. "Kick you out?" she grunted, trying to ward off any impression of vulnerability in the brief moment of surprise. "You're our singer. Can't do shit without a singer. So you just try to step off this stage." Couldn't be a bit nicer about it, could I? she chastised herself--no, she couldn't. It was beyond Izzie to say something like "Nah, it's okay, we're all good. Let's go back and play that show". But hell...these days she just depended on her bandmates to know when she was being genuinely being abrasive and pissed and when she was just....being herself.

But Johnny merely smiled again. "I think I just want the band to be perfect you know. To show our moms and dads we chose the right thing."

Izzie was about to shrug and say "Whatever, let's just go play" when he leaned towards her. Instincts, built up and reinforced by years of living on edge and alert, kicked into action, but when he leaned forward and kissed her, right on the cheek, she was frozen in shock. I...he..he just...what?! He'd kissed her. That meant something, right? That had to mean something. It meant...No, no, can't be that. She was overthinking it, plain and simple. There was...there had to be a simple, obvious reason that she was just completely missing. Johnny couldn't possibly feel that way about her. Just couldn't. She couldn't imagine anyone who possibly could have. But he did, he just... Izzie couldn't bring herself to think it straight up to herself. No, there had to be a simpler way about it than that. Because otherwise, Izzie had no idea how she was supposed to feel about that...

For his part, Lenchi, having decided finally it was worth the effort to move his head and take a look around, was utterly taken aback. "Did you just....did they..." he stumbled over his words, turning to Juniper to figure out if he'd finally gone mad. "Am I hallucinating or did I just see Johnny plant one on Izzie's cheek?"

Johnny walked up on stage and all the members behind him as he Yelled to the crowd. " Let the Real concert Beginnnnnnnmnnnnnnnnnnnnnn." 50,000 people were looking like they just got high on shitloads of candy.
"Johnny Grabbed the microphone , Welcome Motorheaddd.... the crowd screamed everyone back stage thought either What or How is it. When motorhead came on stage They played Overkill letting both bands get a 3 min break

In admission, Johnny Got out a marlboro pack and took out a cigarette lighting the tip as he sat down with everyone around him
Asking him questions.

Xander sighed as he walked off stage. His part of this concert was over, he checked his phone and saw that the concert wasn't over for another hour. He just walked towards the location of the party with his guitar, figured that he would at least get some practice in while he was waiting. When he got there Xander pulled out his pick and started playing "Breed" by Nirvana. He wasn't even trying. Xander had finished the song when a shady guy walked up to him.

"Hey, man. Nice tune," the guy said lighting a smoke.

"Thanks, man. Though judging from your appearance you either want to mug me or sell me something. Though Judging by my size and your size you want to sell me something." Xander said doing the same.

"Yeah, man. I do. I have this great product. It gives you this amazing high, better than pot will ever give you. Its called heroin." The man said pulling out a bag of brown rocky stuff. "You cook it on the spoon and take a needle and inject it in. This is great stuff. This can be yours for 100 bucks. This includes everything you need; spoon, and a clean fresh needle still in the package. Discount rate for a new customer."

Xander had heard his father had done heroin. He had always wanted to try it. This would be a good way of doing it and he would never see the guy again, He pulled out a hundred bucks out of his pocket and handed it the guy. He then handed Xander the bag, the spoon, and the needle in an unopened package. Xander thanked him and the dude ran off towards the shadows. "Now to see if this thing works." Xander said walking into the alley way. He took the bag, the spoon and the needle out. He bent the spoon so the bowl of it was at a 90 degree angle. Then he pulled the needle out of the package and started cooking the heroin. When the drug was a liquid state, he shoved the needle in the liquid and then sucked it up. He saw that there was no air bubbles in the needle and put it in his mouth. He then proceeded to roll up his sleeves and take his belt off. He rolled his belt around his arm and pulled on it. When he found a vein he put the needle in and pushed the plunger. He had pulled the needle out and put it away when he noticed somebody walking up. To be honest Xander wasn't sure he could hold a conversation with anybody.

Why in the hell did he do that?

Izzie shook her head, feeling smoke filtering into her system through the newly lit cigarette resting between her thin, dry lips; from headphones buried deep into her ears, her music player blasted Napalm Death's Suffer the Children into her head at the usual obscene volumes. But the cigarettes and the outrageously loud music weren't helping this. This confusion, this uncertain, alarmed state of mind that one simple action on the part of Johnny had thrust her into. Things weren't making sense in her head--every time she tried to answer the question that refused to settle itself, it only led her to further questions, further doubts, further uncertainties.

Upon reflection it felt like it was supposed to be something really, truly simple. Maybe I'm just such a fucking idiot that the answer's right in front of me and I just can't fucking see it, she bitterly remarked as she at last reached up to retrieve the cigarette, blowing out another stream of billowing, grey, sullen smoke. And then she sighed. Why did he have to go and do that? She dissected the question over and over again, but every potential solution brought with it a host of potential problems.

Her guitar was slung over her shoulder, boots crunching against loose cement and gravel as they thudded across the sidewalk that ran down the street leading to where Izzie was well aware there was a party under way. Truth be told, the last thing Izzie wanted right now was a fucking party. Dealing with fucking idiots stoned, drunk, and high off their fucking asses was not something she was keen on right now. Conversely, parties meant drugs. Alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, heroin, the whole slew of them. And Izzie figured right now what she really could have used was any one of those. And normally she'd've been all for the potential of a one-night fling--finding fleeting comfort in the warmth of another's body, she had found, was an effective short-term cure for perpetual loneliness and heartache, much like the drugs and the music. But not now. Now she felt as though it would only make matters worse, confuse her all the more. Dammit, she cursed silently, teeth grinding down on the cigarette filter. She wasn't used to this kind of confusion. She had lived her life in such a way as to avoid it. But she'd never expected to have it thrust upon her so suddenly...

Roughly she shoved open the door that led into the designated building. Judging by the lack of noise emerging from within the building, Izzie was guessing there weren't a whole lot of people there just yet. Well, at least one thing's going my way. Less people was a good thing right now. Less possibility for her to lose her shit and beat the ever-loving shit out of some random jackass she thought was messing with her--a possibility significant even when she was...well, just being herself, and all the more so when she was being thrown for the loop as she was now.

The guitarist furrowed her brow as the soles of her boots transitioned from the cement to the hardwood floor of the building, just in time to see one hell of a suspicious dude scurrying past her, shoving what she was pretty sure was a shitload of money into his pockets. Drug dealer. Didn't take a fucking genius to figure that out. Question was who...wait, no, I really don't give a fuck. She exhaled deeply through her nose as she shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans, striding slowly down the hall that led towards the main areas of the building.

It was lined with several 'side halls'--Izzie could only presume they led to...well, shit, she didn't know. All of them eventually terminated in a single bland, decorless door that Izzie didn't care enough about to go and see what lay beyond it. But as she reached the side hall nearest the end of the main entrance leading into the building, Izzie caught a glance of someone out of the corner of her eye, and when she turned her head a minute distance to, on instinct, see who it was, she had intended to see some jackass getting high from whatever that dealer had been shelling out, upon which she'd've went about her way without another word.

But she recognised him. It was Xander. His sleeves were rolled up, belt coiled up at his feet on the ground, guitar set leaning against the wall, looking...pretty out of it. Heroin. Her mind blurted out the one word the moment her eyes fell on him. The signs were not mistakable, not to someone who'd been caught up with the drug for years. And, she realised, it was his first time using it--wasn't hard to determine that either, since he didn't look like he'd taken that large a dose, and if he'd been an extended user...well....

You idiot, she wanted to yell at him. Maybe even beat him over the head with her guitar, for added effect. Getting into heroin...was never a good idea. And maybe that sounded like a load of complete shit coming from Izzie of all people, but damned if she didn't regret the first time she pondered if maybe taking a step up to the next level of escapism and doing heroin would help erase some of the anxiety and angst devouring her mind. That moment of sudden bliss in which the cold, dark, stone world she'd always lived in seemed to change, for just a split second, into something better, wasn't anywhere near worth every second after in which the world seemed to be so much colder, so much darker when she wasn't shooting up, when she wasn't wishing she had more of the shit so that she could dive headfirst out of this world again and into that strange, alien universe of momentary peace and clarity--hoping that just maybe this time it'd stay that way. You fucking idiot, she wanted to shout angrily at him. He was making the exact same mistake she'd made years ago. Fuck if she knew why, and hell, she didn't know why she cared. But somehow seeing Xander in that state of initial bliss after the very first dive into that world made her angry...

The death metal guitarist walked towards Xander, shaking her head. She tossed aside the cigarette, stamping it out as she approached. She wasn't gonna rebuke him or some shit like that--she knew very well that wasn't gonna do shit. But he wasn't looking too good, and she figured on his own he was half liable to do something completely retarded (she knew damn well she sure as hell had that first time).

Johnny walked out of the gates and closed up the gates to the concert. "Now,where is that party." He gets in his old 1989 Cheverlot camaro starting up the engine. He drove into an alley and got out went into the room and only a few people were there including his friend Tony. "Hey, What you playing" "Bottoms up" he said. Johnny pulled the drink out of his hand started drinking it fast noticing the Beer sliping over his mouth and about while everybody around said chug.

Johnny looked over and saw smoke in one area of the room and walked over to izzie and Xander. "Hey guys, This party is awesome". He walked back over to a slant point And sat on a red spotted couch watching MTV'S Jersey shore.
He noticed a black guitar on the left walls and walked towards it picked it up and started playing Psychological bass.

Juniper followed behind the others on her way to the party, she wasn't the type to do anything but pot and drink on occasion. Her own father had introduced pot to her when she was eighteen, well more like he had caught her getting into his stash out of curiosity. He didn't get angry like so many parents would have, he admitted that he had been younger then her when he tired it for the first time. He laughed and said that right before his father was killed he had been spending time with him and that John had caught him one time.

John Lennon just laughed "Why the hell are smoking that shit, I have the good stuff in my room if you want" now to most people they would have been shocked. But Juniper knew that was just John Lennon's attitude on it, so when Junipers father caught her he accepted it as well and said the he preferred her smoking his. He knew what went into his and didn't have to worry about Juniper getting pot laced with something that could hurt her.

Juniper found a corner of the room that didn't have to many people, she didn't see Izzie anywhere, but just shrugged it off. She fond a beautiful acoustic guitar sitting in a corner in a stand and grabbed it. She started to strum the strings, the sound of the guitar putting her into her own world. everything around her began to fade away and it was just her and the guitar. Izzie wasn't around to tell her the song was crap because it didn't make someones ears bleed, and all Juniper did was begin to sing
I get high when I see you go by
My oh my
When you sigh, my, my inside just flies
Butterflies
Why am I so shy when I'm beside you?
The Beatles - It's Only Love
It was one of her favorites by The Beatles, her grandfather's voice was so alluring to her she only wished she could sound that good.

Xander looked up at Izzie and curled up in the fetal position. He did not like this, he preferred pot. Xander had promised his mother that he wouldn't be like his father in the respect of the heroin addiction. He started feeling tears on his eyes. "I'm sorry, Mom. This was never meant to happen." He whimpered. Xander sat back up and everything felt like it was slowing down. He turned to Izzie and said, "Don't leave me, I don't want to be alone right now." Right now Xander didn't sound like the punk he usually is, he sounded genuinely concerned and afraid. He needed a smoke and a drink, though he was afraid of getting up.

Johnny played the bass guitar not noticing he bumped into juniper. "Sorry,their just is no fun here." Hey, do you wanna play a song if you want we could play she said by the beatles. Johnny started playing and singing while juniper played her acoustic guitar.
Johnny started singing ~
" She said i
Know what it's like to be dead
I know what it is to be sad
And she's making me feel like i
never belonged......
Johnny looked to the side at juniper and winked at her. Finishing the song " Hey juniper want a drink ?" He went over to a table and got two Vas waters. He reaches out to her. "Here ya go ".

Juniper stopped playing, "Thanks John" she said it felt kind of odd saying it she had never really sat down and talked with him before. "Eh Izzie wouldn't like us to play The Beatles too much, we'd loose our edge" she said while putting up quotes with her fingers. "You know she's bad ass and all but sometimes she can be a royal bitch. In fact I think she revels in that fact" Juniper looked around to make sure that Izzie wasn't around. "Where the hell is everybody, did they find a room to all get laid in or something" she said with a chuckle.

Xander looked up at her in a manner that Izzie felt strangely alike to that of a pained, lonely puppy, and then right before her sank down to the ground, body contorting into a fetal position. "I'm sorry, Mom," she heard him veritably whimper, causing the guitarist to furrow her brow further. Yep, the heroin had definitely gotten to him--damn quickly, it seemed, but she knew how quickly it could work on the first injection. He must have been hallucinating--or maybe he was thinking Izzie was his mother. Or maybe he was just plain talking to himself. But he sounded like he was on the edge of breaking into tears, and his voice was heavy, sinking with regret and remorse over something that Izzie had not the slightest inkling of--some regret great enough that just like her so many years ago, it had driven him to seek something powerful enough to permanently bury that regret.

Slowly, sluggishly, the Chicago Loop guitarist clambered up, body twisting up into an upright sitting position. She watched as he listlessly turned his head towards her, and the words fell tumbling out of his mouth as though when he tried to form a coherent sentence the words merely stumbled from his lips. "Don't leave me." Izzie blinked at him. "I don't want to be alone right now."

The words sounded like pleads, desperate pleads directed at her. He wanted her to stay with him--that was different from what she remembered. When she'd first tried it she wanted nothing more than for everyone to leave her alone. And her wish had been granted. No one had even been there to say or do anything to deter her before she did it, discourage her while she did it, or keep her company after she'd done it. And hell, maybe that was why she'd done it.

"Alright," she murmured at last, her facial expression loosening somewhat. She was an asshole, a control freak, a wholly unlikable personality, and she knew it--but at the very least, Izzie did not feel that she was devoid of basic empathy, of the ability to display kindness and compassion many people thought she, as little more than a violent, angry, hollow metalhead, lacked. Seeing Xander looking frightened, pained, tormented in this state awoke within her a flurry of emotions she didn't think she'd come face to face with for what felt like a long, long time. So she didn't do what even she would expect someone like herself to do. Ignoring the man's pleas, turning and walking right through the door without so much as a backward glance, it didn't so much as occur to Izzie as she unslung her guitar from her shoulder, setting it on the wall beside Xander, and tentatively approached, as though uncertain and uneasy--of what, even she couldn't tell. She leaned back against the wall nearby him--but not too close, as if she was afraid coming too close to him would alienate him and cause him to rethink ever asking her to stay; and she slowly sank down to sit on the floor beside him, her guitar next to her. This is...intensely weird. She'd never just...sat in silence with someone. There was usually music playing. Or she was shouting at them. Or both simultaneously. Silence was unnerving. But the state Xander was in, Izzie didn't altogether expect it to be any other way.

Johnny laughed alongside juniper. "Maybe they did and since then nobody is really here, maybe we should go out to just have fun or something since everyone is getting laid maybe we really should leave ". He smiles come on they walk outside and go to the parking lot. Then they get into johnnys 1989 Camaro. He starts up the engine and drives off. "I got an idea ". He Smiles.
r
they pull up in a Heated parking lot, filled with maybe 10 cars. They get out and go inside. "Welcome to the bowling center Juni " he holds her hand and they start out in a lane. Johnny rolls the ball down the isle and strikes" You're turn juniper " .

Juniper felt like she was in a whirlwind, as John grabbed her hand and they took off to for some god awful reason a bowling alley. As she stared at the god ugly shoes that were handed to her by the overweight man behind the counter. "Wow these are just stylish now aren't they" she said with sarcasm in her voice. "Your turn Juniper" said John. "You do realize that I suck ass at this game don't you. Believe me if you wanted to win at something against me you picked the right bloody thing" she said as she took the turquoise ball that she had picked from the rack in both hands. Bending her knees slightly she "grannies" the ball to get it rolling down the lane. It rolled slowly and then hit on pin just before hitting the last bit of gutter and rolling out of sight. "Well there you go worst bowler ever", she said with a chuckle.

Johnny laughed.He grabs her by the waist and moves her hand making it in the isle as it hits six pinds. "There you go, maybe you aren't after all. "I can see you don't like bowling, well there is one more thing " He makes a Smirk and smiles. "There is this club around the corner if you wanna go but i think you'll like it ". Better than the shoes we are wearing right juni .

Johnny Walks to the club as the blue light entitled with the name "RAVEG " "I know it sounds funny juni but it's awesome ". They walk into the club while the Rock was playing. Johnny moves in front of the people and starts dancing. "I know you might not dance but just go with the flow of the music ". Everyone around them dances as she starts to dance.

"You are never gonna believe me when I say this, but, my father had a heroin problem. I know this really narrows it down when it comes to rockers." Xander said sluggishly, he hit his head leaned his head against the wall. The words were barely coming out of his mouth. He was even surprised that he could hold this conversation. "My father... was the famous Kurt Cobain. I've never met the man in my life, yet he has been there for me ever since I was born. I'm addicted to his lyrical content. What they mean, how he felt when he was writing these songs." Xander said slurring his words. He wasn't feeling good, he hated this feeling. Pot made him light headed and laughed a lot, this made him depressed and want to go die in a hole somewhere or listen to a Nirvana song, which ever came first.

"Izzie, I know that we've never truly had a conversation. I think the extent we have had maybe a one, two sentence thing. I didn't try out for the rhythm guitar because I like the music you guys were playing. I tried out because I like you. Your brutal honesty with people, your elitist attitude, and how you carry yourself." Xander said putting his head between his knees. He was now wearing his heart on his sleeve. Something he didn't do often. Xander reached into his pocket and grabbed his smokes. When he opened the crushed pack he saw that he only had a few left.

If you can call what Juniper did dancing well then right on to you, it was more like shuffling about and looking very awkward. She wondered if this is what The Cavern Club was like, back in Liverpool when her grandad and The Beatles were just starting out. A time before all the stardem, before all the records, just raw music and people enjoying it dancing along. Juniper looked at John as he danced, and wondered why he had dragged her along on this excursion she, she knew he probably had a line of groupies waiting on him. Why her, the not exactly pretty bassist who was socially awkward and didn't like to get drunk off her ass or higher then a kite, or sleep with every man that she thought would buy her drink. She smiled as they danced in the midst of the plethora of people.

Johnny Danced with juniper when the song changed to a more dept situation. Everyone in the club started dancing with another. Johnny looked up as the lights changed colors. Johnny was thinking, well what do i do he had two options 1) Dance with her and make a move and 2) just leave and be awkward like every shy guy. "I'll go with 1 " huh juniper said. "Nevermind ". He was feeling pressure on himself. So, he got behind juniper and started dancing, then as the song progressed he held her waist moving as the music Started to Go off.

He used his patience and moved in front of her . "Wait, what am i doing he thought, What if i do have feelings for her.He Leaned in and kissed her.

He was the first to shatter the silence. "You are never gonna believe me when I say this." His voice was slow and ponderous, as if every word was a weight on him, as if every syllable was a herculean effort to expel. She turned her head to look at him inquisitively, but he needed no prompt from her to explain. "But my father had a heroin problem. I know this really narrows it down when it comes to rockers," he joked, before promptly banging his head against the wall and then slumping it against the whitewashed surface. "My father was the famous Kurt Cobain. I've never met the man in my life, yet he's been there for me ever since I was born." Somewhere in the back of Izzie's mind, she couldn't help but muse, Wow, they weren't kidding when they said that the offspring of the rock and metal legends were coalescing into their own specific bands. She'd known Juniper was the legendary John Lennon's granddaughter--that was no secret. And it wasn't exactly classified information that Johnny was Steven Tyler's son, which kinda left Lenchi the odd man out in the band since Izzie was pretty sure he was just the son of a couple of middle-class people. And as for Izzie herself...well, she was the daughter of Frank Mullen, and like Xander, she didn't go about advertising that fact. But unlike Xander...her father hadn't been there for her after she was born. Of no choice of his own--after a paltry few years of strenuous, unhappy marriage, her mother decided she no longer wanted Mullen involved in any way with her or their newborn daughter. Well, a lot of fucking good it did the two of us, she would often snarl angrily whenever she thought of it. The fact that her mother had decided Frank Mullen was to have no part in their lives any further--the fact that her father apparently decided his daughter wasn't worth staying for, that was all the cause for...all the shit that had happened since then.

That was neither here nor there--thoughts occurring in an alternate universe that existed in the back of Izzie's mind as Xander spoke. "I'm addicted to his lyrical content," the guitarist continued slowly. "What they mean, how he felt when he was writing these songs." He finished speaking, his voice remaining level as his words came to a halt, as though breath had been manufactured for more but there were no words for the breath to fuel. There was a sudden lull, perhaps a second or two--the air changed noticeably as the conversation shifted, and Xander looked towards her. "Izzie, I know that we've never truly had a conversation. I think the extent we have had was maybe a one, two sentence thing." She looked at him, forced herself to return her gaze even though it had always insurmountably difficult for her to lock eyes with others. It was too easy for them to delve through those sensitive, expressive organs into her mind, figure out what she was thinking--but she wanted to know what Xander was thinking, where this line of conversation was going. "I didn't try out for the rhythm guitar because I like the music you guys were playing. I tried out because I like you."

There had to be something about today. Something, some reason that Izzie was being caught off guard so often when she was always under lockdown, always on alert, always vigilant for an opportunity to avoid potential pain and future worry. And yet this was twice today that Izzie just didn't know what to do, what to say, how to respond--twice today that Izzie didn't just say the first thing that came to mind as she always did, because nothing came to mind. There had to be a reason for it. A cruel trick, maybe, on the part of the fates, or the powers that be, or whatever possible supernatural forces guided the universe. Maybe they were deliberately messing with her because they knew how truly easy it was for Izzie to go from tough as nails, no-nonsense, sarcastic metalhead to a confused, uncertain, emotionally unstable little girl being chewed to pieces by her own doubts and fears. It was the heroin. Had to be the heroin. This couldn't really be Xander talking. Couldn't be anyone talking, saying that they liked her. There was nothing to like about her. I'm not smart, I'm not fun to be around, I sure as hell ain't good-lookin', and anyone who says I got a great personality is even more out of their fucking mind than I am... That didn't leave a whole lot of room for interpretation.

Just as quickly Xander spoke to address those same doubts. "Your brutal honesty with people, your elitist attitude, and how you carry yourself." Despite herself, Izzie chuckled darkly. "So pretty much everything everyone else hates me for." But it was a hollow, brief noise that quickly died away, and it carried no smile to her lips as her voice became momentarily uneasy and serious. "I...don't know how to respond to that." That was all she could think of to respond to that.




"Guys? Anyone?"

A certain drummer by the name of Ian 'Lenchi' Frasier stood on the curb of the street, drumsticks in each hand, looking around as though he had not the slightest idea where in the hell he was. In the advent of the concert, Lenchi'd gone through the whole meet and greet down at the lobby of the main building of the stadium, and then...he'd gotten distracted. And he couldn't quite recall by what, but by the time Lenchi decided to pay attention to what the fuck he was doing, he'd clean wandered off and ended up somewhere...else.

"I feel like I'm supposed to be somewhere right now. And I'm pretty sure the others are supposed to be there." The question was, where? Lenchi raked through his memories, trying to pinpoint the location. It just wasn't coming. "Shit." He sighed, slowly lowering himself to sit on the curb of the sidewalk. Well, it wasn't so bad here in...he glanced at the nearest sign, which read Welcome to Canada in large white lettering.

Bit cold, though.

((No, he's not in Canada. He's probably down the street from the place. I just couldn't resist throwing that in though x_x))

Juniper stopped dead when John kissed her, she stood there blinking for a moment not really knowing what to do or say. She barely knew him and now he had just kissed her, not to mention he had kissed Izzie earlier that evening. "John what the hell man" she whispered out, for some reason all she could think about was Ian. Why? she thought to herself why Ian here she had a equally handsome man kissing her and she thought about forgetful Ian. "I don't mean to sound like a bitch John but I...I think we should head back" she said as she stared down at the dance floor. People around her kept bumping into her "Listen the kiss was great and all but..." she looked him in the eyes "Truthfully I barely know you Johnny, we have never even hung out before tonight". She felt like a total bitch here she was with an opportunity she had never had before and she's letting him down. She just hoped this didn't get her booted out of the band.

Johnny Stopped his tracks." Well,I just wanted to know if you liked me and i can see know, but just one more kiss ". He leaned in again and and kissed her. As the song was changing johnny looked at his watch. " We should leave in a minute
"We should leave in an hour juni " he got two drinks and gave them to her as he took one ofthem.

"Well, did you think i was a bad kisser " he smirked, You were my best. "As juniper drunk her drink he drunk also. " they both started walking around as they got to a bar on the upstairs part of the club. "Well, this was fun " they both started laughing, they were drunk. " I bet you can't Drink two shots of this tequela juni ". She started to pick up one.

Xander silently laughed to what she responded to when he said why he liked her. He thought that they were a horrible match, a grunge fanatic and a death metal head. "I don't need a response. Only that you acknowledged what I said." The words were listlessly passing through his mouth. It was like having a conversation underwater. Impossible to breath, hard to hear, and even harder to speak. He looked up towards the sky and wondered what his father was doing now in the afterlife, "Probably still rocking." Xander mused to himself.

Xander moved closer to Izzie, "when I looked into your eyes earlier I saw what kind of person you truly are. I think that your tough metalhead attitude is just a cover for who you are. I'm not saying your a sweet person and love life." Xander stopped to catch his breath. This was hard on him. He needed to come down. After a few seconds he continued knowing he was treading on thin ice, "I'm saying that your just a broken as anybody else and the attitude thing is just to drive people from becoming close. I know, because I do it to. I'm a punk to everyone, I tell it how it is and where you stand with me. I've never let people see the real me."

He took one last drag of his smoke and threw it against the wall, "Izzie, I know what it feels like to have no father figure in my life. Kurt died when I was only 3 years old. He never knew I was alive. My mother never lied to me about who my father was and where he was. I knew he was dead when I was old enough to speak. My first sentence was 'Where is Daddy?'" Xander had to catch his breath again, the alley started spinning, he just wanted to die. "The only reason I brought it up was the entire act is obviously to show that your father whoever he is, that you matter and deserve his love. I know I'm getting all Dr. Phil right now, and maybe its the heroin talking. It probably is. But I do know, that it took the heroin to express how I feel about you." Xander said. He kissed Izzie right on the lips, he wanted to be with her. To show her, that she didn't need to go through this alone, he hated/loved his father. Xander hated him because he killed himself, and loved him because he brought him into the world.

"I don't need a responce," he said simply--his words sounded muted, submerged somehow. "Only that you acknowledged what I said." He moved closer to her, and Izzie instinctively felt herself prepared to move herself away--the fact that her guitar was right next to her was the only thing that prevented that impulse. He was moving closer to her, and that just....felt strange. But he was still speaking--and straining herself to keep her expression level and motionless, she listened. "When I looked into your eyes earlier," he continued. "I saw what kind of person you truly are. I think that your tough metalhead attitude is just a cover for who you are. I'm not saying you're a sweet person and love life..." He paused suddenly, as though completely out of breath.

So he saw right through her. Through the scowls, the outrageously loud music, the drugs, the violence, he saw right through it all, right into her? She'd've been lying if she said that didn't scare her somehow. After all, she'd spent years in which nobody had ever seen her. They'd seen Izzie Maisuradze, the tough, hard-hearted, callous guitarist of a rising death metal band. Nobody had seen Isabella Mullen, not in the past fifteen years--nobody had seen the scared, unhappy girl who desperately feared abandonment and betrayal. She'd disappeared from the world years ago, withdrawing like a snake coiling unto itself into a steel fortress that called itself Izzie Maisuradze and fiercely protected Isabella against the slightest possibility of the pain of human loss. Except that it wasn't helping. Deep inside that fortress was still that same girl--she hadn't changed or grown in the fifteen years in which she'd locked herself within her own body. She was just getting lonelier and lonelier with each passing day, feeling as though her soul was being shredded up by the choice of this continued pain, and the risk of coming out into the open and risking an even greater torment.

And yet now that was changing. A crack had appeared in the fortress, one through which one single person had seen straight through to the lonely inhabitant of that fortress. And he'd seen her for what she was and not what she wished she could truly be.

"I'm saying that you're just as broken as anybody else, and the attitude thing is just to drive people from becoming close. I know, because I do it too. I'm a punk to everyone. I tell it how it is and where you stand with me. I've never let people see the real me." He threw the spent cigarette against the wall, turning back towards her. "Izzie, I know what it feels like to have no father figure in my life. Kurt died when I was only 3 years old. He never knew I was alive. My mother never lied to me about who my father was and where he was. I knew he was dead when I was old enough to speak. My first sentence was 'Where is Daddy?' The only reason I brought it up was the entire act is obviously to show that your father whoever he is, that you matter and deserve his love."

Izzie didn't know what her facial expression was. Maybe it was confusion, maybe it was rage, maybe it was sadness--or maybe she was too taken aback by the truthfulness of every word to allow any such emotion to come to her features. Her mind was drawing a blank. She could only stare at him, realising that somehow he really did know everything that had engulfed her heart, spirit, and mind for years. How was she supposed to react? Do the safe thing--laugh it off harshly, tell him he was bullshitting, that everything he was saying was completely fucking wrong? Cover up the vulnerability and the weakness he had seen straight into, and then leave before he had a chance to see more of it? That seemed the wise thing to do. Run away. Run away from the truth. She'd been doing it for years. Why couldn't she do it now?

Maybe that wasn't the thing. Maybe by running away, she'd have been running away not just from the truth but from the one person she'd ever met who knew the truth, the one person she'd ever met who really seemed to understand Isabella Mullen instead of simply writing her off for what Izzie Maisuradze was. But was that worth it? Worth the risk of potentially losing him if she were to...?

"I know I'm getting all Dr. Phil right now, and maybe it's the heroin talking. It probably is." Yes, it must've been the heroin talking. The safe way out--to just say it was the heroin talking. That he should just wait off the heroin and get back in his right mind. Maybe he won't remember any of this.

"But I do know--it took the heroin to express how I feel about you."

And with that, the safe way was gone. He leaned forward, and she felt his lips making contact with hers. Her eyes widened, and her mind went into overdrive. This was something she had to react to. There was no safe way out of this, no way of laughing it off and covering up what he'd seen now. The choice was between returning the kiss--and perhaps that would have been answer enough--and denying it. One would have been doing something she hadn't done in years. The other would have been doing exactly what she'd been doing for years.

The smart choice, and the stupid choice. Certain route, and uncertain route. The certainty of remaining secure with herself--and the possibility of losing it all.

Maybe it would've been worth it.

And with that in mind, she kissed back.

Juniper looked up from the she had barely touched, Johnny had already downed several and was obviously drunk. He was laughing at everything whether it was funny or not. "Well, did you think i was a bad kisser " Juniper bit her lip "Oh no Johnny it was lovely it was just... unexpected thats all" after awhile of sitting at the bar Juniper was beginning to worry. She didn't want to be out and alone with a very intoxicated John, " I bet you can't Drink two shots of this tequela juni " Johnny's words were slurring as the bartender poured up a couple of shots in front of her. Juniper started to pick up the glass and then looked back at her band mate he would be out on his ass in no time if they did this. "Frankly John I hate tequila it smells like piss, listen you need to stop mate cause at this point I'm gonna have to drive us back" she said.