Lacuna's Poem

[miyumi]

I am creating an elvish language for my novel, and occasionally, I like to randomly create a poem or a song to go in it. Created this one tonight. The translation is first because that's what I built the poem off of, it's a literal translation.

follow water
sister beside
need calls
make wounded
bodies, hearts
whole again

follow water
love fight
need calls
heart test
healing touch
immortal vows

beautiful healer

timalo pilmok
venshili roshiko
hilotic genta
yisho taluni
aloriso vashikso
ramol wanshok

timalo pilmok
minol koshi
hilotic genta
vashik malshinu
falmin ilaku
tokli daroso

yani falmina

Some basic rules for reading my elvish: think latin, with a bit of french thrown in (but never the final consonant rule in french). G's never make a j sound. I's make the long "e" sound, e's are always short.

Anyone who is thinking of criticizing the fact that I only used two words in each line, that was intentional. It is really hard to create a language and most of the words I had to create specifically for the poem.

[General Kale]

Its very Beautiful ... I love Elven , probalby the only person in my town that downloaded a Quenya(Sp) Font for Windows

[miyumi]

Wow, it would almost be worth switching to windows just for that...

[Circ]

For poetry to be effective, it must either tell a story or hit on some aspect of the writer's emotion. Yours seems to be trying to do both, but I am having difficulty in pulling it out. Assuming this does correspond to a story in your manuscript, would you provide a summary so we have a bit more context in which to evaluate this work?

Adding format to poetry (not necessarily directly corresponding to the rules of grammar) also helps ascribe it certain meanings, so you may want to consider capitalization, semi-colons, and other logical breaks to represent the flow of the words.

[Remæus]

Offtopic - it's probably a TTF font, which means you should likely be able to use it on your Mac, too.

I don't think this is the Elven language of Tolkein lore, though. What is that called, Sindarin? I think Quenya and Tengwar are two different alphabets? It looks like Miyumi created her own (as she loves to do) elven.

Circ, excellent idea - I don't know if Miyumi intended it to lack them or not, but it certainly would augment the image portrayed here.

[Circ]

Quenya and Tengwar are also Tolkien alphabets; Tengwar was for the Noldor and Quenya was for the Valar, if I'm not mistaken. Yes, they are available in TTF format. I have them on my computer.

I'll put them in a .zip folder and upload them for you when I get home. Try http://www.lagedorre.net/tolkien_fonts.zip -- if that doesn't work by tomorrow, send me a GMail, but I shouldn't forget.

[miyumi]

Eric,

Yes, this is with the elvish I created for my story. Occasionally, I like to write a poem or a song and translate it to elvish, which helps me build the dictionary. As I said, I had to create most of the words in the poem as I translated, but the ones that were already there are the same.

Circ,

Though I used the same language, it actually has nothing to do with the story and Kishalana, and everything to do with Lacuna in the Wing City rp. She "follows water" in that she follows the call of those who need her water-healing abilities. "Sister beside" is her tigress, Yani. The first stanza is simply about her life before she met Kale, following the call of those who need her to heal their bodies or their hearts, since she is an empath as well.

The second stanza is about meeting Kale. The first time she meets him is when he attacks Gambit's bar and she defends it. Then, after he joins their side, he is seriously hurt and she has her heart tested in that she is required to heal a former enemy. They end up getting married.

Elvish poetry is very different. I can translate the words literally, but they really don't take on their full meaning unless writen by and read by an elf, since the real elvish language puts the feeling behind the words, in how the letters are made. So Elvish poetry always follows a plot and the emotions felt by the main character of the plot. So, the translation I gave was the literal translation I used to create the poem in elvish. But the real meaning would be very different, more like full sentences. I'll try to do that a little later, right now I have to create a lesson plan before 5:30. (It's 3 by my clock)

[Circ]

The zip file is posted and available. Just unzip to c:\windows\fonts or wherever your font folder is located.

As to the English version of the poem, I can't wait to see it. ;]

[miyumi]

Okay, so this is a more true translation of the poem, if you translate it into first person. In the culture I created, elves tend to create poems about themselves at turning points, this would be her fourth turning-point poem. (1st when she got Yani, 2nd when she lost her twin and left her village, 3rd when she graduated training.)

Follow the watery call
with my sister at my side.
It is need that calls me
to take the broken
bodies and hearts I find
and make them whole again.

Follow the watery call
to fight a future love.
His need calls me
and tests my heart.
I give my healing touch,
for an exchange of immortal vows.

I am the beautiful healer.