8 Signs That You’re A (Neurotic) Writer

[Remæus]

Just for a bit of fun…

1. When you go shopping for clothing, you look for a nice robe — one that is fit to be seen in at 3 o’clock in the afternoon when you open the door to a stranger.

2. You have more than 10 pens… in every colour you can possibly find. And you’re always on the look out for the latest in pen technology — ball-point, gel, fountain, felt-tip — whatever it is, you buy it and try it…and then you give a critique on it.

3. Sometimes you send yourself into a frenzy looking for the felt-tip black pen when there is a perfectly useable blue ball-point pen in your line of sight. Sometimes it’s because of the sensory pleasure — the scratch and drag of the felt-tip on paper satisfies this need. And other times it’s simply superstition — you wrote 5000 words yesterday with that felt tip pen! Must have it now!

4. Sort of an extension of point 2. You have reams of different coloured writing paper in varying sizes, some are reinforced and some a ruled or lined. Oh yeah, you keep every single piece of paper that you print. You need to use the other side so you don’t hurt any more trees than you have to. Only, it begins to pile up because it constantly gets jammed in your printer.

5. An extension of points 2 and 4. You keep a variety of sizes, colours and brands of post-it notes. Well, ok, let’s face it, you are a stationery store.

6. You stare blankly at a window overlooking the garden or street for a full 5 minutes. You suddenly notice your significant other is waving their hands in front of your face and their mouth appears to be moving.

When you finally tune it to what they’re saying, you hear them ask ‘Are you alright?’, and you answer, ‘Yeah, I was just thinking’. True, you were thinking about your plot or characters. And then they kindly inform you they were worried because you were ‘thinking’ for 2 hours!

7. You pace up and down your corridor when you’re sure no-one is around. While you are pacing, you hear your characters talking to themselves inside your head… and um…yeah… it just so happens that your significant other hears it too!

8. You arrange your library in alphabetical order by title, then re-arrange it by author. Ahhh… then you start getting really sophisticated and begin re-arranging them into groups; fiction here, non-fiction there; fiction subdivided by genre and non-fiction divided into subject matter. In the process you discover you have more than one copy of books you were certain you didn’t have any copies of.

If you’ve got any more to add to this, feel free to share a comment.

[Aryka]

I have to say, that that is what I normally find myself doing sometimes. Mostly just numbers 2-4 and maybe number 7, by just a fraction.
Do you ever feel that whatever one of these wierd lists you look at, you always find at least one that you can relate to?

[Grimbold Theoman]

That's most interesting, now I am worrying that I am in fact no sort of writer, neurotic or not, for the simple reason that I do none of those things. Should I worry?

Grim

[Lady Tzoa]

Wow. I'm wondering if I should be worried because I do all of those except numbers two and three. I type everything, so I go out and download all of the fonts I possibly can instead of going out and finding nifty pens. I like having the titles of each chapter in pretty fonts...

I don't think you should worry about it, Grim. A writer doesn't need fancy pens and paper to write. It's nice to have the robe, but not necessary, and you probably don't want to hear voices in your head or zone out for two hours straight. Be glad you're sane.

[Grimbold Theoman]

Thank you Lady Tzoa, I am glad that you see my mental state as being sane. From the inside, however, if this is sanity frankly you can keep it I think I would prefer the neuroses and have the ability to string one word after the other in an entertaining, or funny, or scary, or whatever way. And as they say normal is boring.

Grim

[Lady Tzoa]

If only we could switch mental states. I would love to be sane for a little while, at least. I think being a little insane helps all artists, no matter the field, but for writing you just need a little dose of it every now and then.

But... if you want the neuroses, then maybe you're not as sane as I thought.

[Aryka]

I have to agree on the pretty fonts, although, I also do really pretty colors too for my tittles and stuff.
But yea, sane is good, but sometimes being insane is more fun.

[Lady Tzoa]

Oh, I didn't even think of changing the colors! Thanks!

I think being sane can be more fun sometimes. That way you get to watch all of the insane people from a different perspective.

[Grimbold Theoman]

I like to think of sanity as a good well made but not particularly attractive coat, something you can slip on and off when you need it.

Grim

[Lady Tzoa]

Heh, I like that. But, in the long run, I think I would rather wear something unattractive than be completely insane. Being sane isn't always fun, but it's nice... like a "security blanket", of sorts.

[Eymber]

What about when you have a notebook in every room of your house in case inspiration hits, and you have three in your car, and one in your briefcase/purse.

Or if you have collections of receipts with writing on them, from when you couldn't get to your notebook in time.

Or when you have a pen behind your ear 24-7

Or when you are at work and you realize that you haven't gotten any work done because Character A was arguing with Character B in your mind....


-=shrugs=- Maybe that's just me...

[Grimbold Theoman]

As time goes by and more people whose writing I think is good post here I realise that I was wrong and I a quite simply far too sane to be able to write.

Grim

[Eymber]

LMFAO You make me smile. <3

[Grimbold Theoman]

LMFAO You make me smile. <3

And making you smile makes me happy, so we are both cheered. Maybe I am not as sane as I like to pretend

[RogueMinstrel]

Just for a bit of fun…

1. When you go shopping for clothing, you look for a nice robe — one that is fit to be seen in at 3 o’clock in the afternoon when you open the door to a stranger.

2. You have more than 10 pens… in every colour you can possibly find. And you’re always on the look out for the latest in pen technology — ball-point, gel, fountain, felt-tip — whatever it is, you buy it and try it…and then you give a critique on it.

3. Sometimes you send yourself into a frenzy looking for the felt-tip black pen when there is a perfectly useable blue ball-point pen in your line of sight. Sometimes it’s because of the sensory pleasure — the scratch and drag of the felt-tip on paper satisfies this need. And other times it’s simply superstition — you wrote 5000 words yesterday with that felt tip pen! Must have it now!

4. Sort of an extension of point 2. You have reams of different coloured writing paper in varying sizes, some are reinforced and some a ruled or lined. Oh yeah, you keep every single piece of paper that you print. You need to use the other side so you don’t hurt any more trees than you have to. Only, it begins to pile up because it constantly gets jammed in your printer.

5. An extension of points 2 and 4. You keep a variety of sizes, colours and brands of post-it notes. Well, ok, let’s face it, you are a stationery store.

6. You stare blankly at a window overlooking the garden or street for a full 5 minutes. You suddenly notice your significant other is waving their hands in front of your face and their mouth appears to be moving.

When you finally tune it to what they’re saying, you hear them ask ‘Are you alright?’, and you answer, ‘Yeah, I was just thinking’. True, you were thinking about your plot or characters. And then they kindly inform you they were worried because you were ‘thinking’ for 2 hours!

7. You pace up and down your corridor when you’re sure no-one is around. While you are pacing, you hear your characters talking to themselves inside your head… and um…yeah… it just so happens that your significant other hears it too!

8. You arrange your library in alphabetical order by title, then re-arrange it by author. Ahhh… then you start getting really sophisticated and begin re-arranging them into groups; fiction here, non-fiction there; fiction subdivided by genre and non-fiction divided into subject matter. In the process you discover you have more than one copy of books you were certain you didn’t have any copies of.

If you’ve got any more to add to this, feel free to share a comment.

I am happy to say that I only exhibit symptoms of number 6 and 7. xD I do like the way some pens feel when they drag across the paper but I've never needed a particular pen or a particular piece of paper in order to write. I could write out a short story on a napkin with a pencil if the mood suddenly struck me. I have arranged my personal library a few times (#8) but I never think to that extent.

Still, a hilarious list. Makes me think of Stranger Than Fiction (possibly the only Will Ferrell movie I've ever liked).