Fatal Frame

Wynter · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Wynter** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:20 pm

Lufia, if you're going to quote my character, could you please do it as written?
Kanji said, "Get. Out. Right. Now!"
But you quoted her saying, "Get Out. Right Now!" Which is incorrect.

I'd appreciate if you could please go fix that, considering it is concerning my character. I don't want anyone reading the posts to get wrong what she said, because both are different.

Mineczka · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mineczka** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:23 pm

yeah sorry, its fixed

Thadine · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Thadine** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:26 pm

Lufia, just a quick warning.
You seem to be...taking control of other people's characters. I mean, not directly, but you making the doors slam shut, and your character speaking makes it look like Wynter's character, the blinded maiden, Kanji, look like a stupid ghost. When I am sure that she's not.
All I have to say, is be realistic. How did your character know what Hana was thinking? Is he a mind reader?
How is he not the least bit afraid? I'm sure ghosts would startle him a bit.
And how is already aware that there are hostile ghosts?
Your sentence structure is better, as well as description. Just remember that your character is only human, not super-man. =)

Mineczka · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mineczka** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:36 pm

the doors closed was incidental I'm writing a book and that reflected sorry, the thought that Hana had he noticed as Hana was watching him Kanji's quote was incidental again, and Enic is scared, he's just not showing it, and I'll work on sentence structure and I'm not trying to! And I'm sorrie! T.T

Wynter · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Wynter** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:45 pm

...
**The
**sorry

(Sorry, I had to. It was bugging me. :P)

Thadine · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Thadine** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:46 pm

It's alright. I'm just trying to help. =)
Roleplaying is about having fun, and improving your writing. You're improving. Anyways, I'll post again in a moment. Working on homework at the same time.

Mineczka · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mineczka** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:53 pm

lol same GRRRR PHYSICS IS SO FLIPPING CONFUSING!!

Wynter · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Wynter** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:07 pm

By the way, Lufia, you're fixing the quote was mistaken as well.
You didn't put a space after the period between the first two words, and therefore it came out as such, 'Get.Out. Right. Now.' :-)

Just saying. :-)
:-)
...
:-)

Mineczka · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mineczka** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:18 pm

<eye twitches> Must you pick my post apart? (No rudeness intended)

StrawberryFoxglove · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **StrawberryFoxglove** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:24 pm

I just want to point out that Hana was staring at him before he drew his sword -- back when he was busy looking at Saiyu for ganking the journal out of his hands. She wasn't concerned for her own safety, she was concerned for Saiyu -- seeing as she had just taken something from a guy with a sword. She wasn't in the process of thinking he was going to murder them -- she was contemplating his sanity for hefting a sword around in the modern world. As Thadine has stated, you should work off of character queues, which includes noticing when the staring has taken place and the possibility of your character staring at multiple people at once.

I'd also like to ask why you have fangs. As Thadine has made clear in the introduction and, again, in her recent post in OOC -- she said that we are humans or ghosts. I don't know many humans that have fangs and I know even less 18 year olds that can afford the cosmetic surgery required to gain fangs.

Though you may say that the door slamming was incidental -- it was something that affected ALL of our characters. Only the GM should be able to do something that has the ability to interfere, assist, or impeded all characters involved in the RP. I can understand writing a story and how ideas may pour over into your other writings, however, you should have the ability to monitor your posts and how your actions may interfere with the storyline that the GM is creating.
The same thing goes for finding those notes sitting around -- if Thadine wants there to be a note, very well -- but if each character could run around finding notes all willy-nilly, Hana could easily locate a note that tells everyone exactly what it happening and how to fix it. Do you see how this could be problematic?

All I ask is that you leave the GM-ing duties to the GM, as it is starting to interfere more and more with my ability to roleplay.

Wynter · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Wynter** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:24 pm

I could pick your IC posts fully apart, but I won't. Just trying to help you; and I'd like it if you got things involving my character right. :P :-) :-)

Mineczka · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mineczka** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:30 pm

<eye twitches some more and bears fangs> Its an expression, to bear fangs is to get ticked off, like a wolf when its snarling, you understand now? And I have a question for everyone; WHY DO YOU KEEP PICKING MY POSTS APART!? <goes into the corner of Depression and pokes a wall>

Wynter · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Wynter** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:34 pm

StrawberryFoxglove wrote:I just want to point out that Hana was staring at him before he drew his sword -- back when he was busy looking at Saiyu for ganking the journal out of his hands. She wasn't concerned for her own safety, she was concerned for Saiyu -- seeing as she had just taken something from a guy with a sword. She wasn't in the process of thinking he was going to murder them -- she was contemplating his sanity for hefting a sword around in the modern world. As Thadine has stated, you should work off of character queues, which includes noticing when the staring has taken place and the possibility of your character staring at multiple people at once.

I'd also like to ask why you have fangs. As Thadine has made clear in the introduction and, again, in her recent post in OOC -- she said that we are humans or ghosts. I don't know many humans that have fangs and I know even less 18 year olds that can afford the cosmetic surgery required to gain fangs.

Though you may say that the door slamming was incidental -- it was something that affected ALL of our characters. Only the GM should be able to do something that has the ability to interfere, assist, or impeded all characters involved in the RP. I can understand writing a story and how ideas may pour over into your other writings, however, you should have the ability to monitor your posts and how your actions may interfere with the storyline that the GM is creating.
The same thing goes for finding those notes sitting around -- if Thadine wants there to be a note, very well -- but if each character could run around finding notes all willy-nilly, Hana could easily locate a note that tells everyone exactly what it happening and how to fix it. Do you see how this could be problematic?

All I ask is that you leave the GM-ing duties to the GM, as it is starting to interfere more and more with my ability to roleplay.

^^^^^^ I'm certain StrawberryFoxglove just explained why up there. ^^^^^

Thadine · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Thadine** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:40 pm

Couldn't have said it better myself StrawberryFoxGlove. =)
That is all I am trying to say. Everything she said. The notes, I should have included this, but I'll let you off because you didn't know.
The notes and clues found are important. I would like to be one of the only ones to put that in, those notes, because like she said, Hana could pick up a note saying how to lift the curse. I'll give you permission to find notes or not at specific times.
And I was unclear about the bearing fangs part. Maybe you should have included somehow that it was an action showing anger or irritation. I thought your character was seriously a vampire for awhile. Ha ha.

StrawberryFoxglove · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **StrawberryFoxglove** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:55 pm

I wouldn't have been confused if you said "bared his teeth" -- that is like snarling. I wouldn't have been confused if you made an allusions to showing his teeth like a wolf snarls. I wouldn't have been confused if you had written "he was so irritated/angry/irate that he would have bared his fangs, if he had any to show".
To "show his fangs" is something entirely different.
Though you may have intended one thing, it appeared to be completely different. You wrote it as if he were actually doing it -- as most things that you write tend to be actual motions or actions of your character.

And please, though you may be upset, do NOT get angry with me. I'm asking needed questions and offering needed information as well as needed pointers and reminders. Thadine is a very forgiving GM, many others are not -- I know that I, certainly, am not.
And, as Wynter has mentioned, this is all part of growing as a writer. If you see something in my post -- even if it is, "Hey, you spelled this word wrong" or "Hey, you used the wrong form of this word" -- point it out. I learn from criticism and grow as a result.
Not to mention, we're being extremely kind when it comes to criticizing your posts. We've not mentioned grammar, spelling, or format of writing. I've not asked about certain things you mentioned in your character profile that don't make sense to me. I avoid these things because those would be considered, in my mind, needless picking. Sure, Wynter may be picky about how your text reflects on Kanji -- but that's because Kanji is Wynter's character and her character should be represented correctly.

If you no longer would like me to mention the inconsistencies in your post, then by all means, I'll stop. However, you would forfeit your right to complain if I ignore or otherwise disregard things in your posts that don't make sense to me. This isn't because I'm a mean person or anything -- it's because that there has to be a level of cohesiveness that a roleplaying group carries to be successful. Demanding that everyone stop making comments about your posts removes the possibility of that cohesiveness, it makes you an impossible to correct and impossible to control force. Criticism offers us a chance to grow as well as acting as a checks and balances system that keeps each character in line.

Mineczka · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mineczka** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 6:12 pm

I'm not angry at you, I RARELY get angry at people whom are trying to help, I'm the type whom takes Criticism poorly, but it hurts when people brig the same thing up on me all the time, it makes me feel like no matter how hard I try, I always fail, sorry the shiny object distracted- ooh a pointy thing! <pokes it>

Wynter · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Wynter** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 6:15 pm

Mineczka · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Mineczka** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 6:19 pm

<sigh> i have ADD... i get distracted easily

StrawberryFoxglove · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **StrawberryFoxglove** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 6:22 pm

Criticism is a form of trying to help, you have to remember that. I used to take criticism badly, trust me, but you have to learn (and it takes a while) that criticism isn't people hating on your or picking on you -- they're trying to help, trying to help you grow and expand your skills.

I am unsure if you meant that it hurts when everyone brings up the same thing all at the same time or if you meant that it hurts when people bring up the same things over and over again. I'll include a response to each and you can take from it whatever you want.

1) We all have our own opinions and our own knowledge or experiences that we can offer. We don't confer beforehand what you should be addressed about or what should be brought to attention. We will all just say what is on our minds. For instance, I wasn't going to correct you about how you quoted Kanji. One, it isn't my place. Two, it doesn't necessarily effect me as an individual. However, Wynter DID correct you -- though she didn't ask you about your posed statement to Hana, as this didn't concern her nor does it necessarily effect her as an individual. We will each say different things and have different things to bring to the table. We are not ganging up on you and that is not our intention.

2) If we are bringing up the same things over and over again, this isn't because we are mean. It's because the same things are happening over and over again and we would like to see them change. For instance, we haven't mentioned the length of your posts or the amount of descriptors you use because you've CHANGED that. We continue to bring up the fact that you overstep your boundaries in controlling the environment and other such things because they need to change.

You aren't a failure. You're a work in progress. We all are. And we all need help perfecting our skills. We all need reminders. We all need tips.

Wynter · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Wynter** on Tue Apr 05, 2011 6:24 pm

Lufia, I also have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder), but I still know how to efficiently control myself daily by taking 40mg of Methylphenidate Hydrochloride every morning. Having ADD, or ADHD, does not actually imply that you get 'distracted easily'. In most cases it actually causes extensive attention to one thing, almost like obsessing over it, but that is without medication.
If you do need help focusing your attention then you should go see a doctor, if you haven't already, and get a prescription for helpful medications.
:-)

Fatal Frame

a part of “Fatal Frame”, a fictional universe by Thadine.

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