Looking for feedback on a new character

ChaoticMarin · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **ChaoticMarin** on Tue Mar 22, 2011 11:20 am

So, I've created this new character, riiiight? Now, this particular character was somewhat out of my comfort zone. My comfort zone is sci-fi, not that that's important. She's of course, on my personal character site roster, which I made before I could figure out how to use the built in characters system here. >.> <.<

Anyway. Here is a complete bio of the character, along with some visual imagery that took me many hours of sweat, trying new things, taking advice from others, and etc to make. (And yet, I'm still lame because I used a pre-existing sprite as a base. orz) I apologize for the fact that the story behind why she has a tendency to disappear and re-appear in odd places without knowledge of how she got there is not explained. I have a deep love for the surprise factor, and while I do explain that it's related to why her pokemon reach such high levels (65 is technically really high for your average trainer o.O) I don't tell how. Reason being, the how was added primarily to make her interesting, and besides being related to how strong her pokemon are, doesn't really serve any other purpose besides possible plot / mini-plot.

Basic Info
Context: Originally designed for the Pokemon Universe
Name: Valorie Ryder
Sex: Female
Species: Human
Age: ≈14
Personality: Valorie is a rather quirky young girl. She's good at controlling her pokemon during battle, but for whatever reason, doesn't seem to have as much control in non battle situations. She heavily dislikes getting dirty, but will do so anyway if she sees no easy alternative. She wants to become the world's strongest trainer, but later mellows out and decides it's okay if she doesn't meet her dream, just as long as she keeps trying. She's usually pretty nice, but can be a bit of a hotshot and or braggart when she's winning. She is not very modest, and loves to have her ego stroked. Can get very stressed and slightly depressed when she loses. Holds grudges over losses easily, and may seek to challenge someone repeatedly until she wins. Despite some of her less admirable traits, she is rarely cruel and is actually afraid of doing any of the fighting herself. (As in, not with pokemon.) In contrast, she is rarely overly sweet or affectionate either, especially in front of other humans. She is pretty attached to her pokemon however, but will react with severe embarrassment if caught in a gushy moment with them. She secretly misses her parents a lot.
Appearance: http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/551/pokemonocspritebig.png (Have mercy D< This is only one of my first real major spriting attempts and despite the fact that I took a base several things were re-done by scratch.)

History
Valorie was born in Icirrus City, a city located in the Unova region. Extremely early during her adventure, she got in over her head and was the victim of an attack by a pokemon. She however, managed to come out of that situation unharmed, though she literally didn't go outside for days due to how much it upset her. She did eventually get over it and venture out again though. It was very sudden, her parents didn't even realize she was gone until they went to check on her. She later told them she wasn't sure how she left, confusing the heck out of everyone involved. This was the first, and not nearly the last incident of her somehow disappearing and or ending up in odd places without knowing how.

Team A (Extremely Early Version) (Level ≈ 10)

*Dratini ♀Team B (Fairly Early Version) (Level ≈ 25)

Team C (Midway Version) (Level ≈ 40)

Team D (Fairly Far Version) (Level ≈ 50)

Team E (Extremely Far Version) (Level ≈ 65)

Powers
Valorie's pretty normal. (GASP!) On the other hand, every so often she has been known to mysteriously disappear and blatantly appear in places she shouldn't be, wondering where she is. She would also /seem/ to be pretty dang good at raising her pokemon. These two things are related, but I shall not spoil anything by telling you how. She does have some martial arts training, though she's no blackbelt.

Zephyr · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Zephyr** on Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:50 pm

I like her Marin, but I might be particularly biased due to the fact that I'm a Pokénerd. You seem to have covered all of the bases fairly well, though I might suggest extrapolating on her history a bit more. Otherwise, she seems wonderful.

LawOfTheLand · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **LawOfTheLand** on Sat Apr 16, 2011 10:40 pm

I totally love how you made different versions of her team so she scaled to different challenge levels. Not a lot of people put that much thought into making a Pokemon character and chronicling their development through their preferred lineup...hell, my own specimen, Titania Brightsmith, only has two versions of her team sitting around.

The random disappearances could be fun to play around with (and can work as a great in-universe excuse to drop a game for a while if something comes up), but as for what caused her to start journeying, this could either remain a Noodle Incident that is occasionally referenced but never expounded upon, or details can come out through roleplaying.

I kinda-sorta wish the skirts on the sprite models weren't so damn short, though. Possibly capri pants like the sort Karen sports in her HG/SS sprite? Still, fairly cool splice.

ChaoticMarin · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **ChaoticMarin** on Wed Apr 27, 2011 12:08 pm

Thank you both. The "random disappearances" are actually a sort of mini-plot that could potentially be explored. I actually have a general idea of how it'd work. I simply left it out and was very vague in describing it because I like the surprise factor way too much and sometimes give info on my characters from the first person perspective of an outsider. I guess now that I think of it I only mentioned the "out-standing" parts of her history. ._. Oh dear. What a mistake on my part. I should fix that... Like, it just occurred to me that I could do so much more! Given, her history would be somewhat bland other than what I've already put but... hey. |D

Oh! And QB, I know what you mean. I can totally actually fix that come to think of it. Some people mock me for using other sprites as bases... so I do try really hard to put as much scratchwork as I can >.< Like, if I could sprite the hair and that arm, lowering the skirt should be easy-sauce.

But yeah, making the skirt a few pixels longer could help come to think of it.

Here's the new history.

Valerie was born in Icirrus City, a city located in the Unova region. She liked dragons, ever since she was little, and would go to look at Dragonspiral Tower quite often. Of course, this was always from a distance. One day, she spoke with a trainer there who also liked dragon Pokemon. Said trainer had an egg from a Dratini that he wished to give a good home. After showing him how interested she was in dragon Pokemon, he gave her said egg, which she brought home almost immediately after thanking him. This egg would be cared for by her as if it were own child until it later hatched into her first Pokemon. Because of this, Valorie has always shared an especially close bond with said Pokemon. She started training her Dratini pretty carefully, usually with kind passerby willing to do so in a safe manner. However, seeing as how she wasn't completely aware of exactly how strong the wild pokemon nearby were, extremely early during her adventure she got in over her head and was the victim of an attack by a pokemon. She however, managed to come out of that situation unharmed, though she literally didn't go outside for days due to how much it upset her. She did eventually get over it and venture out again though. It was very sudden, her parents didn't even realize she was gone until they went to check on her. She later told them she wasn't sure how she left, confusing the heck out of everyone involved. This was the first, and not nearly the last incident of her somehow disappearing and or ending up in odd places without knowing how she got there to begin with. After this incident, she began going out again at her own will, and resumed training. This time, she was more careful, and eventually got strong enough to go and train in the wild. Her early Pokemon catches were motivated by two major factors. One was her love for dragon Pokemon, and the other her respect for her town's Gym Leader, who used ice types. Thus, the first two Pokemon she caught were a Vanillite and an Axew respectively. She of course, was heading backwards as far as "natural" trainer progression would assume. First, she went to check out Cold Storage, after a passerby told her about it. She caught her Vanillite there, so in essence it was the first Pokemon she caught. Axew's story was a bit more interesting, as none of her Pokemon knew Surf at the time. After hearing about Mistralton Cave from a man hanging out nearby, she wound up swimming the way herself, and later catching a cold because at the time it was winter. She did however manage to catch an Axew in Mistralton Cave, though she was unable to bear being there very long, due to being cold and wet. Shortly after catching Axew, she decided to give up and go home, which unfortunately required her to cross the water again. Said cold kept her home for a while. After this, she set back out on her journey. This time around, she found an Eelektrik in Chargestone Cave, or rather it found her. Said Eelektrik literally snuck up on Valorie and delivered a shock that resulted in electrical paralysis. It quite frankly intended to eat her, however luckily for Valorie her Dratini, now evolved into a Dragonair, was out of it's poke ball at the time. It sprung to Valorie's defense and defeated the Eelektrik. Valorie proceeded to catch the pokemon after she managed to recover from her shock. Her Eelektrik and later Eelektross is easily her least friendly pokemon. After that incident, Valorie deigned to camp out for the night, as she was pretty tired. The next day, she encountered and captured a Deerling, which she promptly trained against her own pokemon to get it up to speed. In the process, it leveled up, surprising Valorie. At this point, she began challenging and beating gyms along her travels. An older boy gave her his Jellicent, which he said just didn't get along with him. The Jellicent, she found, was a very playful but slightly oblivious pokemon. It wasn't quite aware of what bothered others, especially humans. She found this out from the way it acted when with her. However, she found herself liking the pokemon none-the-less. At around this point, she has her "Fairly late version" team and has 6/8 badges. This is around the time when she is going back to Icirrus City, greatly anticipating battling her home town's Gym Leader.

And the new sprite
http://img560.imageshack.us/img560/551/pokemonocspritebig.png

Looking for feedback on a new character

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