Corrupt a wish!

[philosophotter]

Granted! But the chimp hates you and runs away.

I wish for a perfect bowling score!

[NathanBros]

Granted, but you're the ball...

Wish I have played bowling.

[The_Sickness]

Granted, but you always bowl a strike for the person in the lane beside you.

I wish money really did grow on trees.

[Hellfire]

Granted, but as soon as the money grows a highly specialised type of greenfly (Aphis Advocatus) comes and devours it.

I wish animals were allowed in court rooms.

[Cypherxk2]

Granted, but the animals start to attack you and those around you.

I wish I could go on a trip to Saturn.

[Miss Echo]

Granted, you're on a trip to Saturn! However, the trip itself will take hundreds of years, and hypersleep doesn't quite exist yet. By the time you get anywhere near Saturn, you'll already be dead of old age. <3

I wish I was loved and adored by all.

[NathanBros]

Granted, you're loved and adored by all hyenas.

I wish my team was better.

[Sage of Sunlight]

Granted, your team is now better at licking their bowls clean.

I wish that I could control the winds.

[Madame]

Granted, you now control farts

I wish I didn't have to go to work today

[Valaxia]

Granted. They are for your topic. For deleting it :)

I wish... that I could have a pet dragon that would in no way harm me or those I care for.

[nations]

Your pet dragon turns out to be a plush toy and you're just imagining it's real. Your family ends up thinking you're crazy.

I wish I could speak all languages known

[HelplessBystander]

Granted, but you can only talk in cuss words so harsh and racist that you'll always end up offending someone when you talk to them.

I wish I'm a god.

[The0ther0ne]

Granted! You are a god! In the classic game: The Sims. :D

I wish for a thousand wishes.

[lostamongtrees]

Wish granted!
Your thousand wishes will also be granted, but in your next life.

I wish for constant wifi!

[Silvereil]

Granted!
Now, you are constantly connected. Your friends, family, and even strangers now message you 24/7 nonstop, and your phone eventually breaks under the strain of hundreds of notifications each hour.

I wish to be friends with an intelligent animal.

[lostamongtrees]

oooooo you got me.

Granted!
A macaw considers you, and only you, his bestie. This becomes problematic when anyone enters your personal space bubble. Despite communicating perfectly with you, the parrot does not always listen, and while you can understand him, nobody else can. It takes a while before anyone believes that you aren't just screeching nonsense back.

I wish for a new book!